BraveCo Podcast

This week on the Brave Co Podcast, I’m joined by one of my dearest friends, Ben Armstrong to dive deep into what it really means to own your mess. Ben was deep in full-time ministry when he disconnected from his wife, and in that void, made one of the gravest mistakes of his life. He walked away with an affair that could have destroyed everything—his marriage, his kids, his ministry, and his identity.But in admitting the truth and choosing to live in the light, Ben began the toughest journey of his life. Together, they navigated confrontation, shame, weekly counseling, rebuilding trust with their kids, and transparency with their community. Ben’s radical ownership—not excuses—became the foundation for a transformed marriage, and a renewed sense of masculinity grounded in strength, accountability, and faith.In this episode, we unpack how to own your mess, when to bring others into the healing process, how to navigate the shame cycle, and how real healing happens one consistent step at a time. Whether you’re looking for preventative tools or healing after a betrayal, this is your guide. Press play and lean in—it’s time to become the man your family deserves.Chapters:00:00 - Introducing the Brave Co marriage series with Ben & Heather  01:06 - Ben shares the messy truth behind disconnection  04:06 - How a hidden emotional affair turned physical  05:00 - The moment of conviction: living in the light vs. darkness  06:14 - Heather’s reaction: ring thrown, love still present  08:00 - Facing the aftermath: “I thought this was it”  11:11 - The pivotal request: “Give it three months”  14:04 - a son’s devastation: “I feel like I don’t have a dad”  18:09 - Owning the mess with church leadership  24:06 - The long haul: building trust through discipline  30:06 - Breaking shame: owning your story without guilt  35:06 - The healing tool: validating pain without defensiveness  42:03 - Olympic-level communication: practicing curiosity  ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This week I sat down with one of my heroes and spiritual fathers, Danny Silk. If you’ve read The Way of the Dragon Slayer or attended one of our conferences, you know Danny carries deep wisdom in marriage, leadership, and communication. This episode is part of our Lead the Way series, where we’re equipping men to become the husbands their families need.I shared a story about moose hunting in Alaska where, after shooting a bull moose at five yards with just a bow and no backup, I realized something wild: that moment was less terrifying than facing my wife’s emotions. Danny and I talked about how many of us men would rather face literal danger than emotional vulnerability with our wives. But if we want deep connection, we’ve got to face the internal battles—triggers, fear of rejection, and the desire to control.Danny explained that one of the first steps to emotional leadership is abandoning the lie that we can control our wives. The real power lies in controlling ourselves. In hard conversations, the goal isn’t to fix or judge her—it’s to share about me. To say, “I felt [emotion] when [fact], and I need [emotionally honest need].” That level of vulnerability opens the door to connection. But if we come in swinging judgments, all we get back is defensiveness.We talked about how staying emotionally present in conflict creates flexibility in a relationship. That’s the opposite of rigidity and fragility. The more tools and reps you have—soft start-ups, healthy boundaries, staying in the pocket—the more resilient your marriage becomes.And if you want to win a fight, remember: if you “win” by controlling or punishing her, you’ve already lost. The real win is connection. The kind of connection where both people feel seen, heard, and safe. That’s our job as husbands—to open the door emotionally, spiritually, and physically. To bring peace into chaos. To make sure our wives never have to carry the masculine load alone.Every man should learn this—because it's not your fault if you never saw it done right, but it is your responsibility now.And that’s what this series is about: giving you the tools, reps, and mindset to sharpen your emotional leadership like a blade. Once you learn this skill, you’ll never forget it—and you’ll use it every single day.Thanks again to Danny for pouring into us. If this episode helped you, send it to a friend. And remember—stay brave.Book: https://a.co/d/6jewg37Connect with Danny: https://www.lovingonpurpose.com/0:00 – Introduction & Free Course Offer1:15 – Why You Need a Community5:10 – Unpacking the Moose Hunting Story7:45 – Facing Emotions vs Facing Danger10:20 – The Lie of Control in Relationships12:55 – “Here’s How I Felt…” Communication Structure15:40 – Setting Healthy Boundaries18:05 – Soft‑Start Conversations & De‑Escalation21:30 – Sharpening Your Emotional ToolsetABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I sit down with my favorite guest — my wife, Lauren, to dive deep into emotional connection in marriage. We’ve spent years leading marriage intensives, learning through trial and error what it really means to build a relationship that lasts. This week’s conversation is all about the “emotional bank account” — what it is, how it works, and why it’s the foundation of a thriving marriage.We talk about what it looks like to turn toward one another on a daily basis — not just when it’s convenient or easy, but especially when you don’t feel like it. From creating healthy routines to responding to emotional bids, we unpack practical strategies you can use right now to strengthen your relationship. Whether you're newly married or deep into the trenches of family life, this episode offers timeless tools for connection.Our hope is that you don’t just survive your marriage—you thrive in it. It doesn’t take massive changes; it takes daily intention. So, whether you’re listening alone or with your spouse, we challenge you this week: Set an alarm, make that small deposit, and choose to turn toward each other. You’ll be surprised how quickly those little actions add up.Chapters:00:00 - Why Most Men Feel Lost in Marriage Today00:34 - Meet My Favorite Guest: My Wife Lauren Valatin02:01 - What Is an Emotional Bank Account?04:08 - How Disconnection Makes Marriage Feel Brittle06:43 - Investing Emotionally: It’s Free but Costly if Ignored12:09 - Why Small Daily Acts Create a Strong Marriage14:22 - Turning Toward Each Other: What It Really Looks Like21:09 - The Power of Alarms and Daily Emotional Deposits23:12 - Understanding Bids for Connection and How to Respond36:12 - Why Predictable Routines Build Secure RelationshipsABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

What does it really mean to lead in marriage as a man of God?In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I sit down with the legendary  @DrHenryCloud —renowned author of Boundaries—to dive deep into how men can lead with strength, emotional intelligence, and spiritual clarity. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, under-equipped, or unsure how to show up in your home, this conversation is for you. We talk about everything from fatherhood and marriage to emotional connection, leadership, and how to create psychological safety in your home.Dr. Cloud lays out a clear framework for what it means to build a house—starting with connection, followed by boundaries, protection, and healthy communication. We also explore the reality that most men were never modeled connection or emotional leadership growing up. But that doesn’t disqualify you—it just means it’s time to build structure and train differently. Whether you're single, newly married, or decades into family life, this episode will equip you with practical tools to become a present, powerful, and emotionally safe man.🔔 Subscribe to grow in:Christian masculinity | Biblical manhood | Marriage leadership | Fatherhood | Emotional health | Spiritual leadership | Healthy communication | Personal development for men | Psychological safetyConnect with Dr. Henry Cloud:Website: https://www.drcloud.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhenrycloudofficial/Twitter(X): https://x.com/drhenrycloudYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrHenryCloud/featuredChapters:00:00 - You Were Made for More Than Survival01:23 - The Missing Rite of Passage for Men10:55 - How to Lead a Marriage (Even If You Never Saw It Modeled)24:00 - Psychological Safety: The Secret to a Thriving Home41:22 - Boundaries Without Walls: Leading Through ConnectionABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This episode hits deep. I sat down with one of my closest friends—Michael Koulianos—to unpack the kind of stuff most men never talk about. From the pain of being misunderstood by those you love, to losing the use of my arms for a year, we share the raw and unfiltered journey that forged us into the men we are today. If you’ve ever questioned your calling, struggled to lead your family, or felt like you were drowning in the pressure of life—you’re not alone. This conversation will ground you in truth, inspire your fight, and remind you that pain is often the birthplace of purpose.We dive into how real strength comes from sacrifice—not platform. Michael opens up about pastoring, parenting, and the unglamorous cost of leading a movement. He’s not just preaching a message—he’s living it. We talk about fatherhood, marriage, manhood, and what it means to lay your life down like Jesus. If you're a man who's trying to lead your family with integrity, build something that lasts, or just stay standing through the storm—this one’s for you.Also, don’t miss the end—we share what’s coming at this year’s BraveCo Men’s Conference. It’s more than an event—it’s a brotherhood. If you want to be sharpened, challenged, and sent back home on fire, make it a priority. We’ll be walking through the life of David, from his anointing to his legacy. Join us. Let’s build the kind of men this world desperately needs.BraveCo Conference: https://www.bethel.com/calendar/braveco-conference-2025Timestamps:00:00 - Masculinity Is Under Fire: Why This Conversation Matters03:20 - The Hardest Season of My Life: Losing the Use of My Arms06:59 - The Pressure to Be Enough: Ministry, Family, and Identity15:00 - Godly Fatherhood Starts With Sacrifice, Not Control30:00 - Love Means Laying Down Your Life: What Jesus Taught Me About MarriageABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this week’s episode of the Brave Co Podcast, I share one of the most powerful and emotional topics we’ve ever covered: the transformation that happens when a boy becomes a man — not by age, but through intentional initiation and affirmation by other men. I talk about what happens when that moment is missing — and how we, as a community, can bring it back.We explore what it means to heal the “father wound,” reclaim masculinity, and become the protector, provider, and leader that God designed every man to be. From the biblical example of David to modern-day rites of passage like our Tough Mudder course for young men, this episode dives deep into the importance of community, challenge, and identity.Whether you're a father, mentor, or a man still figuring out who you are — this episode is for you. It’s a call to step into the front lines of manhood, to raise up the next generation, and to boldly claim the strength and purpose you were born with. Join us at Brave Co 2025 for a life-changing experience.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This is the most important message I’ve ever shared.Brian Tome: https://www.briantome.com/For generations, young men have grown up without a father, without initiation, and without the confidence they need to thrive. I’ve seen it firsthand—men who look like adults but feel like boys inside. This episode isn't just a podcast—it's a movement to bring back something society lost: the rite of passage into manhood.At BraveCo, we believe it’s not too late. Last year, we introduced a 3.1-mile Tough Mudder Rite of Passage to our conference. What we thought would be just a powerful experience became the most transformational moment of the entire year—for sons and for fathers. I saw grown men cry. I saw boys stand tall for the first time. This year, we're believing for 300 young men to be changed forever. This is a calling, not just a challenge.In this episode, I talk with Brian Tome—founder of Crossroads Church and author of The Five Marks of a Man. We dive deep into identity, calling, spiritual maturity, and why the American church is failing to reach men. We don’t hold back. We talk about church, culture, manhood, porn, shame, and what it means to lead a life of honor. If you’re tired of surface-level conversations and ready to go deep—this is your episode.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

The most transformational moment in a young man's life is when he is seen, accepted, and welcomed into manhood. As a father of three sons and a man who has walked through his own journey of becoming, I’ve seen how powerful it is to receive that blessing—from a father or a man you respect. Too many men are aging without ever feeling like they've become men. They carry a painful emptiness, unsure of their identity, still longing for validation.That’s why we created the Rite of Passage at BraveCo. In 2024, we added a 3.1-mile Tough Mudder course to our annual BraveCo Conference. We thought it’d be a challenge—but it became the most powerful moment of the week. Watching grown men speak life into boys—boys who might not even have a father at home—was deeply moving. It wasn't just a physical test; it was a spiritual transition. And now, for BraveCo 2025, we’re going bigger: 300 young men, stepping into purpose, identity, and strength.If you’ve ever longed to be that kind of man—or to raise one—I invite you to step up. Bring your son. Invite the boy who’s fatherless. Help us reverse the curse that has plagued this generation. Together, we can rebuild a culture where men are known, empowered, and free. You don’t want to miss this. BraveCo 2025 may be the turning point in your story, too.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

As a counselor, pastor, and father, I’ve seen firsthand how many men carry invisible wounds into adulthood—wounds caused by the absence of true initiation into manhood. This episode dives deep into that missing moment that every man longs for: the point where he is looked in the eyes and told, “You’re capable. You belong.” Whether it's your father, a mentor, or a community of strong men, that rite of passage changes everything—and without it, we often grow old without ever really growing up.In this BraveCo episode, I reflect on a pivotal moment from our men’s conference where we invited boys into manhood through a powerful and symbolic rite of passage. I also break down the emotional toll uninitiated men face in their marriages. Many husbands are trapped in cycles of shame, unable to “hit the mark” emotionally with their wives—not because they don’t care, but because they were never taught how. I explain the differences between sympathy, empathy, and true compassion—and how those three tools can transform your relationships.This isn't just theory. These are real stories from the trenches of marriage, mentorship, and fatherhood. I offer practical tools and language you can use today to connect with your wife, lead your family, and stop the shame spiral that keeps you disconnected. If you’re tired of surviving manhood and ready to thrive in it, this one’s for you. Let’s get to work.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this powerful conversation, I open up about one of the most defining journeys in my life—fatherhood. From walking through the painful season of divorce to learning how to become the man and leader God called me to be, this episode is a deep dive into healing, leadership, masculinity, and personal transformation. If you're navigating broken relationships, struggling to connect as a dad, or feeling stuck in your growth as a man, this video will speak directly to your heart.Together with my great friend David Norona, we talk raw and real—about wounds from the past, the pressure to fix everything, and how the unprocessed pain we carry shapes our marriages, parenting, and self-worth. We explore what it truly means to lead like a king and love like a servant, all through the lens of faith and emotional resilience. It's more than conversation—it's a call to step up.We also share practical tools for inner healing, emotional connection, and the kind of leadership your family and future need. Whether you're a dad, husband, or simply a man seeking more, this is your moment to rise. Don't settle. Don't retreat. The world needs strong men, and it starts with you.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.