196: Emotional Abuse, P*rn & Father Wounds: How to Father Your Kids When You Lacked a Father

In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I’m answering your real, raw questions about dating, marriage, trust, and fatherhood as a man of God. We start with how to actually meet women in person in a world that hides behind screens and dating apps. I share my own story of dating after divorce, how I met my wife Lauren, and why growing your in-person game is one of the most important skills you can build as a single man. If you’ve ever felt stuck, awkward, or intimidated around women, this conversation will give you practical tools to initiate low-pressure, honest, and confident conversations.

From there, we dive into one of the hardest topics I hear about as a pastor and counselor: emotional abuse in marriage. Is it ever a good enough reason to leave? What does it look like to set strong, healthy boundaries without instantly jumping to divorce? I’ll walk you through why emotional abuse is not “less serious” than physical abuse, why you need wise outside counsel, and how to discern what’s really happening in your relationship. We also talk about rebuilding trust after pornography or betrayal—why “I’ve changed” isn’t enough, how to validate your wife’s pain, and how trust is rebuilt not by perfection, but by how you clean up the mess you made.

Finally, we tackle the question so many men carry quietly: “How do I father my kids when my dad never fathered me?” I share stories from my own family, how my dad invited spiritual fathers into his life, and how you can pursue older men, mentors, and healthy community instead of waiting for someone to chase you down. We talk about joining men’s groups, serving leaders you respect, and becoming “good soil” that fathers want to invest in. If you’re hungry to grow as a man, husband, and father—and you’re willing to grind, show up, and do the work—this episode will give you a clear path forward.

Chapters:
00:00 - Why Every Boy Needs a Rite of Passage
01:44 - How to Meet Women Without Online Dating
09:09 - Is Emotional Abuse a Reason to Leave My Wife?
13:20 - Rebuilding Trust After Porn and Betrayal
19:10 - How to Father Your Kids When You Lacked a Father
23:00 - Inviting Spiritual Fathers and Mentors Into Your Life
25:02 - Stop Waiting to Be Chosen—Pursue Father Figures
26:11 - How to Send Your Questions to BraveCo

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ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.