

The New Man
Tripp Lanier
Advice for Men to Align Career, Sex, Relationships, and Money
Episodes
Mentioned books

May 19, 2020 • 34min
How to Stop Playing it Safe – Coaching Call with Tripp Lanier
Do you ever play it safe when it comes to money or sex?
Do you take risks or only go for what appears to be a “sure thing?”
And how can we make sure we don’t get stuck in a prey mentality?
Today we’re going to listen in on a recent call I had with a coaching client. His work and sex life were feeling flat, so we explored some ways he could get out of his own way, stop playing it safe, and find that mojo again.
In this interview:
Feeling uninspired in our work and sex life
Why playing it safe can kill our careers and relationships
Trying to avoid being the “weird” guy
The pressure of trying to “get it right”
Are you aligned with what you want in life?
Plus:
Being a knuckle dragging romantic
What keeps us in a prey mentality
Nice guy syndrome
What if it was okay to face-plant from time to time?
How can post-it notes change your relationship?
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/
This Book Will Make You Dangerous is a swift kick in the ass that will make you laugh out loud. It’s a practical guide to play for what we truly want, to get over ourselves, and have a ton of fun along the way.

May 12, 2020 • 15min
That Time I Went to the Butt Doctor (This Book Will Make You Dangerous Excerpt) – Tripp Lanier
What does it mean to be dangerous?
How can we ensure we don’t become grumpy, soft, and fragile old men?
And could what you’re about to hear be the worst, most disgusting way to open a book?
Today, I want to share an excerpt from This Book Will Make You Dangerous. This is the introduction where we take a very unconventional look at expectations and clarify why I throw most success how-to books in the trash.
Learn more by visiting DangerousBookstore.com.
In this interview:
What happened when I went to the butt doctor
Why I throw most success how-to books in the trash
Is the pursuit of success making us weak?
How expectations kill our peace of mind
Are we playing a game we can’t win?
The trap of seeking comfort and safety once and for all
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/
This Book Will Make You Dangerous is a swift kick in the ass that will make you laugh out loud. It’s a practical guide to play for what we truly want, to get over ourselves, and have a ton of fun along the way.

May 6, 2020 • 20min
Facing Fear: Only the Dead Survive – Tripp Lanier Group Coaching Call
With so much uncertainty right now, how do you deal with the uncomfortable feelings that arise?
What if it actually all came crashing down?
What could possibly exist on the other side of your worst nightmare?
Our brains are constantly scanning for threats — most of which never come true, but this constant worrying can kill the enjoyment of our short time to be alive. Today I’m sharing a recent group coaching call where, instead of running away from these scary feelings we chose to do something else instead.
In this interview:
Clarifying what’s at stake
Getting hijacked by our fear
Phil Stutz “Only the dead survive.”
Tapping into a power we rarely recognize
Learning to watch the theater in our minds
Plus:
How to pivot out of our fear
Why trying to run away from fear creates more suffering
What happens when we relax our need to control everything?
The power of brotherhood
How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/
This Book Will Make You Dangerous is a swift kick in the ass that will make you laugh out loud. It’s a practical guide to play for what we truly want, to get over ourselves, and have a ton of fun along the way.

Apr 7, 2020 • 45min
Confronting Fear, Scarcity, and Pressure — Tripp and Alyson Lanier
Do we have to depend on fear for motivation?
Can we learn how to put scarcity and pressure into perspective?
And how can we learn to forge our own path instead of following the herd?
Today, my wife Alyson and I discuss how fear can serve us — or work against us.
On many levels we’re being challenged. For many this challenge is simply a matter of being uncomfortable or bored. Others are experiencing great uncertainty with regards to their professions and financial well-being. And then there are those who are being confronted by mortality itself.
We can get caught up in the collective freak out or we can use this period as a wake up call. It’s a time to zoom out and reflect.
The men I’m coaching all around the world are seeing this challenging time as an opportunity. It’s an opportunity for us to assess our lives and how we’re choosing to live them. Are our professions and relationships and lifestyle choices aligned with our deepest values? Or does today’s challenge help us see that it’s time to course correct?
Instead of sleepwalking through life or settling for whatever gets slopped on to our plate, we can use this opportunity to tap into our deep desire. Instead of waiting for the perfect plan or the perfect time or the perfect opportunity, we can shift gears, take smart action, and create alignment with what truly matters today.
No more waiting. No more excuses.
Most men won’t do this. They’ll dismiss this opportunity. They’ll let fear get the best of them. They’ll refuse responsibility. But that doesn’t mean we have to live like most men.
Today’s conversation was recorded before the Covid-19 virus became the major focus here in the US. Regardless, the core ideas of this discussion still apply when it comes to how we confront fear, scarcity, and pressure in our day-to-day lives.
In this interview:
Creating from fear, scarcity, and pressure
Rat-racing and magical finish lines
Why fear glorifies hustling
How fear serves us and how it makes us weak
We don’t have to freak ourselves out in order to be successful
Nothing to prove
Plus:
Depriving ourselves now in order to get what we want later
Get out of dumb goals and create smart goals
Why a pain in the ass is valuable information
Why perfectionism is a defense
Why fixating on ourselves kills peace of mind and meaning
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/
This Book Will Make You Dangerous is a swift kick in the ass that will make you laugh out loud. It’s a practical guide to play for what we truly want, to get over ourselves, and have a ton of fun along the way.

Mar 10, 2020 • 32min
Playing a Game We Can’t Win — Tripp and Alyson Lanier
Do you think more success and status are the keys to lasting fulfillment?
What happens when our achievements leave us feeling empty?
And what does it mean to be dangerous?
Today, my wife, Alyson and I explore a life beyond constant comfort and how most men are stuck in a trap — striving to play a game they can’t win.
In this interview:
Alyson recovers from her bathroom noises
Getting over ourselves can be painful
A threat to our self image feels like a threat to our lives
What it means to be responsible for your life
Tolerating bullshit vs saying “no”
Plus:
Settling because “this is just the way it is”
Blaming others and playing the victim
Do victims enjoy feeling powerless?
Why someone with a victim mentality isn’t coachable
The addiction to sadness and suffering
And:
When success leaves us feeling empty
“What’s wrong with me? I thought I’d feel fulfilled.”
What would feel expansive?
What do I want more than being comfortable all the time?
Developing a guidance system based on what you value most
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/

Mar 3, 2020 • 32min
Maybe You Don’t Have Commitment Issues — Tripp and Alyson Lanier
If you want more out of life then what’s really getting in the way?
Why do we have such a hard time making a commitment?
And what’s so wrong with trying to live happily ever after?
Today, my wife Alyson and I explore the deep-seated fears that keep us stuck, the ways we operate from a prey mentality, and Alyson’s embarrassing bathroom experience.
In this interview:
“Why won’t a man commit?”
There’s no such thing a commitment-phobe
Competing commitments (Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey)
What keeps us from having alignment with our values?
When we believe that there are monsters under our bed
Plus:
The danger of “set it and forget it”
Identifying our prey mentality
The shadow to personal growth and self-help
We’re forgetting how powerful we are
And:
Why seeking “easy street” is a trap
Exoneration with Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
Fragile egos and the “need” to prove our self worth
Alyson’s body sounds
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/

Feb 25, 2020 • 33min
How to Get Out of Your Own Way — Tripp and Alyson Lanier
Do you want to make a change but believe you need the perfect plan before you take action?
Does your work or salary or title determine your value as a man?
And how do we know when it’s time to make a big change?
Today, my wife, Alyson and I pick up where we left off in the episode entitled A Bold Way to Start a Relationship. We explore how I went from feeling very confident to very lost; how I spent years dicking around while waiting for the perfect plan; and how I finally pulled my head out of my ass and got back on track.
In this interview:
Stepping out of our comfort zone
Being a small fish in a big pond
When our work determines our self worth
Dealing with uncertainty and self-doubt
Waiting for the perfect time and the perfect plan
Plus:
Stuck in excuses
Trying to predict the future
Refusing the call to adventure
Moving from “pre-f**k it” to “post-f**k it”
Getting out of the bleachers and into the game
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com//

Feb 18, 2020 • 35min
A Bold Way to Start a Relationship — Tripp and Alyson Lanier
Do you face your challenges alone or do other men have your back?
How does our desire for a plan or vision become a trap?
And what’s the key to making a commitment in relationships?
Alyson and I continue where we left off in the episode entitled, Should You Settle or Blow Up Your Life? Today we talk about making bold moves, the value of a men’s group, and how I almost killed our relationship by acting like a nice guy.
In this interview:
Outgrowing a split lifestyle
Starting Tripp’s first men’s group
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
A bold way to start a relationship
Plus:
Moving from discomfort into aliveness
When trying not to screw it up starts to screw it up
Wanting the truth vs comfort
Making a smart commitment
Waiting for the perfect plan is a trap
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com//

Feb 11, 2020 • 0sec
From Imposter Syndrome to Being Unf—kwithable — Ash Ambirge
Have you ever suffered from “imposter syndrome”?
Are you okay with simply chasing money or do you want your work to be meaningful, too?
And how often do you tell yourself, “I will figure this out”?
Today, The Middle Finger Project author Ash Ambirge is here to discuss how she went from growing up in a trailer park to middle class success to sleeping in a K-Mart parking lot with only $26 to her name to eventually making seven figures.
In this interview:
Growing up in a trailer park
Being mentally tough
Being willing to rock the boat
Striving for middle class
Why becoming “normal” was so disappointing
Plus:
Dealing with imposter syndrome
The feeling of “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.”
Doing work you’re proud of
Wanting our work to align with our values
Feeling guilty for wanting more out of life
And:
Ash’s “sleeping in a K-Mart parking lot” story
“I will figure it out.”
The key to being “Unf*ckwithable”
The trouble of not having your own money
Learning how to provide value
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com//

Feb 4, 2020 • 0sec
Should You Settle or Blow Up Your Life? — Tripp and Alyson Lanier
Do you feel guilty for wanting more out of life?
Is it possible to outgrow your current profession or relationship?
And would you have to blow up everything you care about in order to make a big change?
Today my wife Alyson and I pick up where we left off in the previous episode entitled, The Emotionally Constipated Control Freak. In this conversation we explore taking responsibility for what we want, the seduction of settling, and the one question that kicked me in the gut.
In this interview:
Living a split life
“Stop being a spoiled brat.”
Focusing on problems vs solutions
Feeling guilty for wanting more out of life
Plus:
Have you outgrown your life?
The Drama Triangle - Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer
Shifting from bitching to focusing on what you want
Are you defensive or curious?
The fear of being broke and alone
And:
“Do you feel like you’re settling?”
The myth: “I have to blow up my life in order to make a change.”
Are you being lulled to sleep?
Waiting for the perfect, safe plan
The phone call that changed Tripp’s life
Interviews and videos discussed:
David Emerald interview
Drama Triangle video
You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download.
https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com//