Overcome Pornography for Good

Do you feel stuck in a cycle of trying to quit porn, only to slip up and feel like a failure? Have you tried willpower, counting days, and shame tactics, but nothing seems to work long-term? If so, you're not alone.  Join me this week to discover the five biggest mistakes people make when trying to quit pornography. Whether you've struggled for decades or are just starting your journey, you’ll learn the tools and insights you need to finally break free and create the life you desire. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/5-biggest-mistakes Register for my free live class, The New, Revolutionary Way to Quit Porn for Good, September 19, 2024. A shame-free, sex-positive methodology that is guaranteed to help you overcome pornography for good: https://centerforovercoming.com/freeliveclass

Samuel Dastrup, a dentist who conquered a two-decade pornography habit, shares his inspiring journey of transformation. He discusses the powerful impact of overcoming shame, emphasizing how it revitalized his marriage and boosted his career. Sam recounts his early struggles with addiction, shaped by his upbringing, and highlights the importance of open conversations about sexuality. He also reflects on the benefits of investing in personal development and the role of supportive communities in achieving lasting change.

This week, I’m joined by Dr. Kersti Spjut, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sexual health and perfectionism. With years of experience running programs at BYU for people conflicted about their porn use, she brings a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies to help navigate the unique challenges that come with having ADHD while trying to change sexual behaviors. Tune in this week as Kersti dives deep into the connection between ADHD and porn use. She offers her insights on the shame and stigma surrounding ADHD, why those with ADHD may be more drawn to the ‘stickiness’ of porn, and her top recommendations of interventions that have helped people with ADHD manage their porn use. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://centerforovercoming.com/post/adhd-porn-use-kersti-spjut

One of the biggest misconceptions about having a porn habit is that if you’re experiencing unwanted pornography use, you’re lacking strength, willpower, or spirituality. This misleading belief is not only false but often leads to avoidance techniques I call Band-Aid solutions. In this episode, I show you how to stop relying on these quick fixes and how making tiny changes in the way you cope with emotions can change everything. Discover what Band-Aid solutions can look like in practice and why they don’t work long-term. Learn why buffering and numbing out prevents you from processing emotions in a healthy way, and how to stop the cycle of turning to porn every time life gets challenging so you can finally experience true freedom. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/no-more-band-aid-solutions

To dive into abusive attitudes and behaviors, boundaries, and worthiness wounds, I’m joined by Lindsay Poelman this week. Lindsay started as a betrayal trauma coach for women whose husbands view porn and is now a facilitator for Trauma-Informed coaches. She’s here to shed light on how worthiness wounds can contribute to abusive attitudes and behaviors, and what you can do to start the healing process. Discover the emotional wounds that often contribute to abusive dynamics in relationships. Lindsay and I explore examples of how abusive attitudes and behaviors can manifest, why you’re more likely to exhibit abusive tendencies if you have deep worthiness wounds, and Lindsay’s brain hacks for setting boundaries and creating a sense of self-safety. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/abusive-attitudes-behaviors-lindsay-poelman

To protect and provide is a beautiful energy that can be used for so much good in our world, regardless of gender. However, in the presence of worthiness wounds, these values can quickly turn toxic, and I show you how in this episode. Hear what worthiness wounds are, why they hurt, and how they might be showing up for you if you identify with the value of protecting and providing. Learn how this role turns toxic if you haven’t healed your worthiness wounds, why this conditioning is often enmeshed with toxic masculinity, and examples of how you can use this value of protecting and providing in healthy and honorable ways instead. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-2-protect-provide

The working backwards process is all about figuring out what you’re buffering from. The value lies in going further back than you might typically be used to, to get to the root of why you self-sabotaged. By uncovering the root cause of your self-sabotage, you unlock the keys to building lasting change. I walk you through the keys to using the working backwards process effectively, and share an example from my own life of how I use this technique to understand myself better and replace self-judgment with self-compassion. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/working-backwards

Let’s talk about shame-free commitment. Whether your goal is to quit viewing porn completely, view it a couple of times a week, or heal your sexual shame, the why behind it is an essential component of your journey to quitting porn. Your feelings are the fuel for your quitting journey. I show you how to ditch the shame and focus on building shame-free commitments that empower you to live your best life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/shame-free

If you’re currently on a journey towards quitting your pornography habit, chances are you’ve experienced denial along the way. Denial is a defensive state where you might refuse to accept or look at the truth, and while this is a common human experience, shame and guilt often come along with it. Learn a shame-free perspective on denial and examples of when denial shows up as a result of grief. Hear about the importance of noticing and feeling your sense of grief and how to find the peace and healing you desire. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/denial

In this Worthiness Wounds series, I’ll be speaking specifically to men and the worthiness wounds I’ve observed. A worthiness wound is the wound of shame and never feeling good enough, believing you have to do or be something more to be worthy. It’s not your fault if you resonate, but you’re the only one who can heal them, and I’m showing you how. Learn about the conditioning men receive that creates worthiness wounds and the types of results they produce. Hear why you’ll continue to feel empty if you’re chasing external accomplishments as a way to heal, how these types of wounds create buffering activities, and why they hurt not only you but those you love most too. Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/worthiness-wounds-part-1-the-conditioning