It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting: Insights from Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-StoutnerIn this episode of "It's All Your Fault," Megan is joined by two special guests, Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, co-authors of the upcoming book Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents. Annette and Nicole, both experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators, share their insights on navigating the complexities of co-parenting and offer practical advice for parents facing high conflict situations.Understanding the Role of Parenting CoordinatorsMegan, Annette, and Nicole delve into the crucial role of parenting coordinators in helping divorced or separated parents resolve disputes and maintain focus on their children's best interests. They discuss how parenting coordinators act as referees, mediators, and educators, assisting parents in making decisions on issues such as parenting schedules, school choice, and healthcare.Adapting to Change and Prioritizing Children's NeedsThe guests emphasize the importance of adaptability in co-parenting, as children's needs and circumstances evolve over time. They highlight the challenges parents face when adjusting to new situations, such as remarriage, relocation, and changes in parenting time. Annette and Nicole stress the significance of prioritizing children's well-being and maintaining consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible.Questions we answer in this episode:What is a parenting coordinator, and how can they help divorced or separated parents?How can parents navigate changes in their children's lives and adapt their co-parenting strategies?What is parallel parenting, and when is it an appropriate approach?How can parents handle disagreements over parenting styles and household rules?What resources are available for parents struggling with high conflict co-parenting situations?Key Takeaways:Parenting coordinators play a vital role in assisting divorced or separated parents in resolving disputes and focusing on their children's best interests.Adaptability is crucial in co-parenting as children's needs and circumstances change over time.Parallel parenting can be an effective approach for high conflict situations, but its implementation varies depending on the family's unique dynamics.Parents should strive for consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible while respecting each other's parenting time and decision-making authority.Seeking education, resources, and support from professionals can help parents navigate the challenges of high conflict co-parenting.This episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice for divorced or separated parents facing the challenges of co-parenting. By learning from the expertise of Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, listeners can gain a deeper understanding of how to prioritize their children's well-being, adapt to change, and navigate high conflict situations. Co-Parenting by Design promises to be an essential resource for parents, lawyers, and judges alike, providing guidance and strategies for creating a healthier co-parenting dynamic.Links & Other NotesBOOKSCo-parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents GUEST BIOSAnnette T. Burns, JDNicole Siqueiros-StoutnerOUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:39) - Co-Parenting by Design (01:14) - Meet Annette and Nicole (04:14) - How It Came About (08:56) - Parenting Coordinators (12:58) - Agreements (16:53) - Different Rules (22:00) - Parallel Parenting (26:16) - Multiple Court Trips (30:28) - Alienation (39:40) - Advice on Family Law (44:14) - The Book (46:59) - Wrap Up (47:17) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Co-Parenting By Design Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Explore the intriguing world of high conflict personalities as insights uncover five different types driven by fear. Learn practical strategies for managing these challenging interactions, including the effective EAR method for navigating emotional bullies in family dynamics. Tips for communication in professional settings are shared, emphasizing limits and consequences to prevent manipulation. Plus, discover constructive conversation techniques that can transform difficult dialogues into productive exchanges.

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired February 8, 2024. Visit our site to hear part two, or find it on your podcatcher.Bill and Megan explore the complex issue of relationship violence, focusing on factors that may predict aggressive behaviors and how to identify potentially abusive relationships. In this first part of a two-part discussion, they examine relationship violence through the lens of adult intimate partner relationships. The second part will focus specifically on teen dating violence. Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on.Questions we answer in this episode:What personality disorders or traits are associated with an increased risk for domestic violence?How can you spot early warning signs of a potentially abusive partner?What is coercive control and how does it relate to domestic violence?What happens in the brain when someone lacks impulse control?How can we avoid “jamming our own radar” in relationships?Key Takeaways:Not everyone with a personality disorder will become abusive, but certain disorders like antisocial and borderline PD are risk factors.Pay attention to charm, immediate strong attachment, and “love bombing” as possible red flags when dating.Coercive control refers to non-physical ways an abuser maintains power, like isolation, verbal threats, financial control.Impulse control problems may stem from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or traumatic childhood experiences.Going through personal crises or having unrealistic relationship expectations can blind us to warning signs.In part one of this vital two-part discussion, Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on. Tune in to gain knowledge that could help you or someone you care about build healthy, safe relationships.Links & Other NotesBOOKSDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to “The One” Who Will Make Your Life Hellavailable in paperback, audio, and e-book anywhere books are sold. Here are a few places you can get it.Get it on High Conflict Institute siteOn Amazon USOn Amazon AustraliaOn Amazon CanadaDATING RADAR SURVEY RESULTSRead results from entire survey here (scroll and click on “Read Dating Radar Survey Results”)HOTLINEUS Domestic Violence HotlineUS Hotline #: 800-799-7233ARTICLESDating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New RelationshipPersonality Disorders and Intimate Partner ViolenceHIB PubMed article databaseDomestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict?COURSESConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 ExpertsMediation in Domestic Violence CasesLIVE LABLive Lab: 1:1 coaching sessions to learn to use BIFF Responses, EAR Statements, and to set limitsOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Relationship Violence Part 1: Adults (03:50) - Survey Results (09:19) - What Jams Our Radar? (14:59) - Impulse Control (20:48) - Factors in Violent Tendencies (29:57) - Domestic Violence in Family Law (34:51) - How Do You Know You’re in a Domestic Violence Relationship? (36:47) - Coercive Controlling Violence (40:51) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Part 2: Teens Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired February 1, 2024.Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle an important but tricky topic in this episode - how to set healthy boundaries with others when tensions run high. Whether it's a contentious divorce, difficult coworker, or suspected lies, Bill and Megan provide realistic examples and actionable advice to constructively handle high-conflict situations. Tune in to learn techniques to establish boundaries while remaining calm and keeping conflicts small. This episode delivers takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.They provide tips across three common scenarios:Co-parenting after divorce: Look to standards or common practices as a starting point. Focus on protecting the children and not discussing certain topics in front of them. You can only control your own behavior - walk away if tensions escalate.Workplace conflicts: Practice using the BIF (brief, informative, friendly, firm) method in emails or conversations. Don't engage in unnecessary battles - end conversations if needed.Suspected lies: Always consider three perspectives - it could be true, false, or somewhere in between. Don't react emotionally or you may become a target of blame. Reality test tactfully if needed.Bill and Megan stress practicing these techniques and finding simple but memorable phrases to use when setting boundaries. Their realistic examples and actionable advice provide takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.Links & Other NotesLIVE LAB: 1:1 coaching to learn skills (setting limits, BIFF Responses, CalmB4Think)ARTICLE: 12 Tips for Co-Parent Boundaries ARTICLE: Need to Set Limits With a High Conflict Person? Give ‘Em Your EARARTICLE: 4 Ways to Set Limits at WorkCOURSE: Conflict Influencer™ Certification Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Kicking Off Season Four (02:10) - Setting Limits in High Conflict Situations (02:59) - Co-Parenting (10:59) - The Work World (16:54) - Lying (27:28) - Wrapping Up (28:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired August 3, 2023.Some relationships with high conflict people reach a point where the only one getting frustrated and hurt is YOU. It is okay to walk away? Are some relationships so damaging that staying in them is damaging to you? Will the guilt draw you back under their spell? Will it trigger abandonment, inferiority, or other issues in the person with a high conflict personality, and possibly backfire on you? Bill and Megan discuss this tricky topic in relation to family, friend and other relationships. How do you know when the time is right? Should you continue trying to reconcile or just stop? And what steps should be taken if you choose to walk away? Listen in as Megan and Bill explore this sensitive, critical subject.Links & Other NotesBOOKSIt’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame You for EverythingBIFF: Quick Responses for High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Emails and Social Media MeltdownsCalming Upset People with EARON DEMAND COURSESHow to Write a BIFF ResponseThe Brain 101: How to Communicate EffectivelyOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:24) - Walking Away (03:01) - When Can You Walk Away? (06:41) - When They're Part of Your Faith-Based Community (09:11) - Hitting the Point (12:28) - Things to Consider With the Five Types (18:21) - Think It Through (19:55) - When Really Emotionally Hooked (23:45) - Step by Step (25:02) - Setting LImits (26:00) - Last Thoughts (26:59) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Splitting Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

Explore the unique perspectives on winning in high conflict situations. Discover why progress, not perfection, is key and the importance of celebrating small victories. Learn to choose your battles wisely and recognize when it’s time to step back. Delve into the blame game often played by high conflict individuals and how to navigate relationships with them effectively. This intriguing discussion offers practical strategies to engage constructively while keeping emotions in check.

Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter from the High Conflict Institute talk about dealing with bully neighbors, identifying bullying behavior triggers, and resolving conflicts through calm conversations, mediation, legal options, and involvement of law enforcement if necessary. They highlight the importance of recognizing patterns and considering moving as a last resort for wellbeing.

Experts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss bullies as leaders, their personality traits, and the impact on organizations. They emphasize the need for clear policies, setting limits, and consequences. Introduction to New Ways for Work for Leaders training program.

Bill and Megan from the High Conflict Institute discuss identifying and dealing with family bullies. They talk about how bullies isolate targets, the role of 'negative advocates,' and tactics to maintain control. The importance of recognizing patterns, seeking support, and protecting vulnerable family members is highlighted.

Guest Michael Lomax, co-founder of High Conflict Institute, discusses workplace bullying and mediation. Key topics include identifying bullies' characteristics, handling bullying allegations, and strategies for managing high conflict personalities in professional settings.