Working as a therapist for over 10 years, Melissa has helped her clients gain greater insights into themselves, allowing them to reach their full potential on their path to self-sufficiency. During the pandemic, Melissa started her private practice and published her first book, The Couples Therapy Activity Book, a book aimed at helping people in relationships build and deepen their intimacy with one another.   Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Melissa Fulgieri to talk about how to go about finding the right therapist in today’s informed culture, figuring out your ‘why’, and which red flags to look for when searching for therapists. Melissa also talks about being open about therapy on social media, having shared lived experiences, and taking an active approach to care. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [01:55] A bit about Melissa. [02:37] The Couples Therapy Activity Book. [04:54] Melissa’s first thoughts on this topic. [06:18] Finding the right fit in today’s culture. [08:15] Where do you start? [10:26] Translating your ‘why’ into your search. [12:26] Therapist red flags. [15:38] Sharing on social media. [21:33] Finding therapists through different routes. [25:53] Gender, race, and sexual orientation. [35:58] Melissa’s words of wisdom.   Quotes: “We’re in a time right now in our culture where we have the most informed consumers of therapy.” [05:30] “People are much more open about the fact that they go to therapy or have sought out therapy.” [14:37] “We cannot be a good fit for everyone.” [20:39] “You should tap into your community first.” [22:04] “Just because you’re part of the same group, doesn’t mean you have the same lived experience.” [28:23] “Interview your therapist even harder than you would interview a first date.” [34:02] “Listen to yourself.” [35:13]   Connect with Melissa Fulgieri Website:            www.melissafulgieri.com. Instagram:          @melissafulgierillc.   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources Couples Therapy Activity Book, by Melissa Fulgieri LCSW.   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Amanda is a queer, non-monogamous, neurodivergent artist, storyteller, actor, coach, writer, podcast host, and trauma survivor. At the age of 27, she had a preventative double mastectomy, which she documented in her book, I Chopped Off My Tits. Her podcast, Live Your F*ck Yes Life, was launched in 2018 as a space to have conversations about the things that no one talks about. She is a recovering people pleaser, and she works to support other recovering people pleasers through her program, The School of Fears, Feels, and Fucks.   Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Amanda Katherine Loy to talk about her later-in-life coming out story, the demisexual experience, and her first sexual encounter with a woman. Amanda also talks about her love-hate relationship with labels, existing as a bisexual person in the world, and she gives valuable advice to those who are exploring their identities. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [04:18] A bit about Amanda. [06:50] Coming out later in life. [14:18] From Orange is the New Black, to 5 months into a relationship with a woman. [15:40] Amanda’s experience of demisexuality. [19:27] Getting into the relationship. [21:18] Taking on the bisexual and polyamorous labels. [22:59] What the labels did for Amanda. [24:35] How people reacted. [25:43] The struggle of being seen by the world as something other than what she is. [29:44] One of the best (and challenging) things about coming out later in life. [34:22] Amanda’s advice to her younger questioning self. [35:55] Amanda’s advice to others wanting to explore their sexuality.   Quotes: “Until and/or if that emotional connection is present, I don’t even feel the pull to have sex with somebody, which I thought was just normal.” [16:52] “Your relationship to your identity is like a living document that you can constantly re-examine and adjust as you discover yourself.” [23:37] “I feel like I have to fight every single day to not be erased in my own body.” [28:50] “I knew that no matter how I was received, I was going to be okay, because I was okay within myself.” [30:26] “Don’t be scared to keep digging.” [34:49] “There’s only your right way.” [37:04] “Explore in a way that makes sense to you.” [39:09] “At the end of the day, if we can’t meet each other human-to-human, I don’t really see a point.” [40:24]   Connect with Amanda Katherine Loy Website:            www.amandakatherineloy.com. Instagram:          @amandakatherineloy. YouTube:           Amanda Katherine Loy. TikTok:              @amandakatherineloy. Patreon:            @liveyourfuckyeslife. Facebook:          Amanda Katherine Loy.   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources Ep. 148: Platonic Intimacy & Why We Really Went On A Break.   I Chopped Off My Tits: And It’s The Best & Hardest Decision I’ve Ever Had To Make, by Amanda Katherine Loy.   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I talk about libido, how libido functions on a spectrum, and the 8 categories of things that affect our libido. I’ll also talk about important questions to ask yourself surrounding your personal libido, and knowing when to check under the hood of your libido. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [03:59] What is libido? [06:19] The libido spectrum. [08:30] What is a “normal” libido? [11:02] 8 things that affect libido. [11:16] Category 1: Stress. [11:45] Category 2: Relationship factors. [12:09] Category 3: Hormones. [12:35] Category 4: Mental health. [13:05] Category 5: Medications. [13:54] Category 6: Physical health. [14:29] Category 7: Sexual knowledge and awareness. [14:43] Category 8: Developmental factors.   Quotes: “The biggest issue that comes up between two people that are in a sexual relationship is mismatched libido.” [02:54] “Our libidos fluctuate. It is context specific.” [07:30] “[normal libido] is any interest or drive toward sex that does not interfere with your life.” [08:36] “We all have our own personal normal libido. There is not a universal normal libido.” [10:06] “When your libido is off from your normal, ask yourself if any of these apply to you.” [15:09]   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources Episode 20: A Conversation About Dating With Herpes (& Being a Comedian), with Erica Spera. Episode 21: A Conversation About STIs and Disclosure, with Janelle Marie Pierce.   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I will be talking about the traditional relationship escalator, creating our own relationship milestones, and the subconscious societal pressure to conform. I will also talk about the various categories on the non-escalator relationship menu and figuring out what you want from your relationships with your partner(s) and/or friends. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [03:01] What is the relationship escalator? [04:31] Going up the escalator and/or creating your own milestones. [07:44] Navigating commitment off of the escalator. [08:22] The escalator in Disney movies. [10:13] An alternative metaphor to the escalator. [10:56] The Non-Escalator Relationship Menu. [16:19] Commitment. [17:43] Emotional Intimacy. [19:24] Social integration. [20:38] Quality time. [21:44] Communication. [22:17] Physical intimacy. [23:23] Financial management. [23:52] Autonomy.   Quotes: “Every relationship that you have is important, and that includes your platonic ones.” [09:58] “You can step on to something to propel a relationship forward, but you don’t need to take it up.” [10:44] “Physical intimacy really changes and often is not discussed enough.” [22:26] “There are a million different ways to be in relationship. There is not one way.” [24:19] “Try to figure out the way that works for you.” [24:32]   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources   The Non-Escalator Relationship Menu. Article: Well + Good: Committed Relationships Aren’t Reserved Solely for Romance - Here’s What To Know About Platonic Committed Relationships. WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with

***Content / Trigger Warning, in this episode we discuss sensitive topics that may not be suitable for all audiences. Topics like sexual abuse, and physical abuse, including child sexual molestation. This may be an episode to skip, or use headphones for, if you have others around you that may not be prepared to listen.***   Janelle (she/her/hers) is the Executive Director of the STI Project, the Education Manager of HealthHIV, and the Spokesperson for Positive Singles. She is a certified sexuality educator, and she has been dismantling stigma by reclaiming STI narratives through awareness, education, and acceptance since 2012. Janelle is also the Tri-Chair of the Communications Action Group at the NCSH, a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), the International Union Against Sexually Transmitted Diseases (IUASTD), the American Sexually Transmitted Diseases Association (ASTDA), the National Coalition of STD Directors (NCSD), the National Viral Hepatitis Roundtable (NVHR), and the Intermountain West HPV Vaccination Coalition.   Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Janelle Marie Pierce to talk about STI testing, Janelle’s shocking diagnosis story, and overcoming the fears around disclosure. Janelle also talks about opening a mutual dialogue around STIs, the importance of knowing your status, and hear Janelle’s words of wisdom for those going through similar experiences. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [04:10] Janelle’s journey into this work. [07:39] Janelle’s diagnosis process. [13:39] What people should know about STIs and Herpes. [22:48] Let’s talk about disclosure. [29:47] Why transmission is more likely if you don’t know your status. [31:50] How and when to bring this up. [37:33] Janelle’s words of wisdom.   Quotes: “Only 12% of sexually active people are getting tested for the STIs that you can be tested for.” [08:29] “You may never actually know you were infected in the first place, and that is true for all STIs including Herpes.” [10:10] “Most people are going to get an STI at some point in their lives. You are more likely to contract an STI than you are to not.” [16:25] “For the vast majority of people, it’s a relatively benign infection.” [18:47] “Your autonomy, your safety, your boundaries are just as important as whomever you are engaging in.” [27:50] “People who don’t know and haven’t been diagnosed are more likely to transmit an infection than somebody who knows their status.” [29:36] “How soon you tell somebody gets to be up to you.” [33:27] “It’s okay to process and be where you’re at with this.” [37:40] “Be your own best advocate.” [38:48]   Connect with Janelle Marie Pierce Website:            thestiproject.com. Instagram:          @thestiproject. YouTube:           @thestiproject. LinkedIn:            @jenellemarie. Twitter:              @TheSTIProject. Facebook:          @thestiproject.   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Erica Spera is the girl next door who's tall, dark, and one of the guys. Originally from Binghamton NY, Spera is the producer of 607 Comedy, where she hosts shows throughout the Upstate New York area. When she isn't having dinner with her ridiculously large family, you can find Erica performing nightly all over the big apple; doing stand up comedy clubs such as Gotham, The Stand, New York Comedy Club, and Caroline's. She has recently opened for Patton Oswalt, Judah Friedlander and Tim Meadows. Spera was recently named a 2017 TBS Comics to Watch as part of the NY Comedy Festival. You may have seen her on TLC's Cake Boss, or Gotham Comedy Live! on AXSTV. Every Friday at 8:30pm, she co-hosts Bitches Brew, at Halyard's Bar in Brooklyn, which has been named one of TimeOut NY’s “Best Comedy Shows”. You should come see a show and meet Erica's parents. Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Erica Spera to talk about navigating the dating world with herpes, disclosing your diagnosis, and how to respond to someone disclosing their diagnosis to you. Erica also talks about being vulnerable and empowered, reframing the herpes mindset, the importance of informed consent, dating apps, and doing standup comedy. Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [01:29] A bit about Erica. [02:55] Being open about Herpes. [06:54] What to say when someone discloses their diagnosis to you. [08:43] Erica’s spiel. [13:20] Herpes is not on the standard STI panel. [17:28] Negative reactions. [26:08] Empowerment through comedy and podcasting. [32:58] Erica’s advice. [38:43] Dating apps. [40:11] Erica’s advice about comedy.   Quotes: “You’re more likely to get it from someone who doesn’t know that they have it.” [13:14] “You are definitely not alone, and I advise you to talk to somebody about it.” [33:30] “You’re telling them that you have herpes because you want to have sex with them, and that is a very cool thing.” [35:42] “We often worry about it before it even comes up.” [38:22] “Just because I have it doesn’t mean I have to date someone else who has it.” [39:01] “Try to be somewhere that you have a lot of opportunities to get on stage.” [42:03]   Connect with Erica Spera Email:               herpesgroupnyc@gmail.com Website:            www.ericaspera.com. Instagram:          @spericaa. Podcast:            Shooters Gotta Shoot. Twitter:              @Spericaa. Facebook:          @comedianericaspera.   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Tess Brigham (MFT, BCC) dubbed the “Millennial Therapist” by CNBC is an expert psychotherapist, certified coach and public speaker. She specializes in helping young adults discover their unique life path in order to go out into the world and make an impact. Tess’acclaimed one on one coaching empowers young adults to gain the confidence they need to create their dream life through concrete and actionable steps. Tess’ work as a psychotherapist and certified coach started after her own life transformation took place. At age 27, Tess seemed to have it all as a top Hollywood junior talent manager. But on the inside things felt empty and pointless. She took a huge risk, quit her job, and rebuilt a career and life she loved. Now she helps other young adults and early-career professionals navigate the same quarter-life process with her practical experience and insights on finding happiness and clarity. She provides tools and techniques that can powerfully shift an individual’s mindset and behaviors for overall well-being. Tess is a vital resource for those who are feeling stuck, uninspired, or uncertain by where they are in life. Her keynote speeches and workshops include topics such as: Creating a Culture of Empathy (even while working remotely), Virtual Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, and Filling Generational Gaps in the Workplace. Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Tess has over 15 years of experience helping thousands of people find their purpose, develop their confidence, and create a life they’re excited about living. She is a regular contributor at both CNBC and Forbes and was featured on the TV Show, “The Doctors” to discuss the Millennial mental health crisis. In addition, she has been featured in Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, SF Chronicle, NBC News, Huff Post, Insider, Yahoo! News, Marie Claire, BuzzFeed, Newsweek, Real Simple, and more. Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Tess Brigham to talk about navigating a quarter life crisis, losing control with analysis paralysis, and debunking the idea that there are right or wrong decisions. Tess also talks about the most common “shoulds”, triggers on social media, and allowing ourselves to be comfortable with self-discovery in our 20s.   Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [04:37] Tess in her own words. [05:45] What is a quarter life crisis? [06:59] The consequence of not dealing with the crisis. [09:23] What gets people to search for help? [10:55] Where do you start? [16:27] How does resistance show up? [20:16] Tess’s advice for if you’re stuck. [24:14] Shoulding all over yourself. [26:42] Social media “shoulds”. [30:04] Tess’s words of wisdom.   Quotes: “If you think you’re going through a crisis, then say that you’re going through a crisis.” [05:52] “If you don’t make a decision, a decision will be made for you.” [18:17] “You have to just make decisions and keep moving forward.” [19:33] “There are very few choices and decisions that you’ll make in your life that you cannot get out of.” [20:51] “Don’t be afraid. There are no right or wrong choices.” [21:17] “You feel like you should have these things because of some Instagram post, but day-to-day, do you want it?” [26:32] “The 20s really are the perfect time to do this kind of work on yourself.” [30:14]   Connect with Tess Brigham Website:            https://tessbrighamcoaching.com. Instagram:          @tess_brigham. Facebook:          Tess Brigham. Twitter:              @MftTess. LinkedIn:            Tess Brigham. YouTube:           Tess Brigham, Therapist & Coach.   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Justin Bell Guarini’s robust performance career launched with the first season of American Idol in 2002. His stage and screen appearances since then include Broadway productions of American Idiot, InTransit, Paint Your Wagon, Romeo and Juliet, Wicked, and Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Justin has hosted nationally broadcasted shows like Idol Wrap and Idol Tonight along with live red carpet events for the TV Guide Network, the Oscars, the Emmys, and the Grammys. He continues to reprise his role as the lovable “Lil’ Sweet” in the award winning national commercial campaign for Diet Dr. Pepper. In 2019, Justin founded The Warrior Artist Alliance (Warrior Artist Empire LLC) to help performers achieve the success they deserve in a challenging industry. He shares his tips, tricks, breadth of experience, and warrior mindset with a community of performers through podcasts, his best selling book “Audition Secrets”, blogs, and dynamic training programs. Justin is dedicated to his loving family; his wife, daughter, and sons make up his happy home. It is here that he draws his support and the desire to live his best life. Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m joined by Justin Bell Guarini to talk about the artistic transition since 2020, navigating family life and becoming a mentor, and the value of investing in yourself. Justin also talks about overcoming resistance, the importance of serving others, and finding your self-confidence.   Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [04:36] Who is Justin Guarini? [08:28] Justin’s long-awaited theatre show. [12:44] Navigating the transition since 2020. [19:20] Family life and becoming a mentor. [25:14] Taking care of oneself when the inclination is to take care of others. [34:46] Justin’s advice for when you’re feeling resistance. [42:01] Working with Justin. [44:28] Justin’s words of wisdom.   Quotes: “When you begin to invest in yourself, it begins to multiply.” [33:43] “Better questions lead to better answers.” [35:39] “My advice for you is to lean into the resistance.” [34:53] “Stop trying to shove the feelings that you’re having down. Your feelings, your thoughts are valid.” [38:55] “You don’t need to have been born with it, you don’t need to have gone to school for it, and you dont need to have 10/20/30 years of experience in order to be confident in it.” [46:11] “Self-confidence just means confiding in yourself, trusting in yourself.” [47:00] “Other people don’t see us through their eyes. They see us through our eyes.” [47:58] “That ability to have self-confidence is built on the back of failure.” [49:06]   Connect with Justin Guarini Website:            https://www.justinguarini.com Instagram:          @justinguarini Twitter:              @justinguarini LinkedIn:            Justin Guarini   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m going to talk about arousal non-concordance, what we can do about it, and the research around arousal. I also talk about the different types of arousal, arousal vs consent, and the importance of communication.   Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [02:18] What is arousal non-concordance? [03:47] Looking at the research. [05:08] The types of arousal. [08:16] Why am I wet/hard if I’m not subjectively turned on by stimuli? [10:52] Why am I not wet/hard? [13:05] Non-concordance is not just sexual.   Quotes: “There’s a 10% overlap between how women are responding to a situation and what stimuli they feel subjectively aroused by.” [04:32] “When the vagina gets wet, it does not mean arousal automatically.” [04:44] “[For men] there is a 50% overlap between genital response and subjective sexual arousal.” [04:58] “[According to the APA] Arousal is a state of excitement or energy expenditure linked to an emotion.” [05:14] “[According to the ISSM] Subjective sexual arousal is the active mental engagement in sex.” [05:33] “When the physiological and subjective sexual arousal are not the same, that is when arousal non-concordance occurs.” [06:09] “Regardless of what genitals you have, wetness or an erection does not mean that that person is consenting to the activity.” [10:29] “Arousal non-concordance happens with every emotional and motivational system we have. If my mouth waters when I bite into a wormy apple, does anybody say to me ‘you said no but your body said yes’?” [13:13] “You have to communicate and not just go off of our body’s responses.” [14:52]   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   Resources Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski.   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! For today’s episode, I’m going to talk about my journey leading up to me coming out, my supportive but skeptical family, and owning my identity. I also talk about the gap in SexEd, where I am today, and my constantly evolving sexuality.   Let’s delve in!   In this Episode You’ll Learn: [05:03] The story begins. [09:44] My second acknowledged crush on a woman. [13:57] Coming out to my boyfriend. [16:28] Supportive but skeptical. [17:37] The month I identified as lesbian. [18:32] Sinking back into heterosexuality. [19:56] My third crush on a woman. [22:20] Only earning about bisexuality at 20 years old. [23:18] Flash forward to today.   Quotes: “In my head, and in my experience, monogamy was the only options.” [14:33] “I was 20 years old when I learned what bisexuality meant.” [22:54] “When you are able to be your full self in this world, anything is possible.” [25:30]   Connect with Rachel Wright Website:            https://rachelwrightnyc.com Instagram:          @thewright_rachel Twitter:              @thewrightrachel   WIN A FREE INTIMACY AFTER DARK DECK!   Get 30% OFF the NEW After Dark Deck! Use Promo Code: Rachel   Get your Zumio Discount!   Call to Action Please if you love this episode, and know someone else who is a passionate soul on a mission just like you share it with your friends and others. To help this podcast grow please leave an iTunes review and don’t forget to subscribe.