Ep 17: A Conversation About Arousal Non-Concordance aka “I’m Turned On, But I Can’t Stay Hard/Wet.. What’s Up?”

“There’s a 10% overlap between how women are responding to a situation and what stimuli they feel subjectively aroused by.” [04:32]

“When the vagina gets wet, it does not mean arousal automatically.” [04:44]

“[For men] there is a 50% overlap between genital response and subjective sexual arousal.” [04:58]

“[According to the APA] Arousal is a state of excitement or energy expenditure linked to an emotion.” [05:14]

“[According to the ISSM] Subjective sexual arousal is the active mental engagement in sex.” [05:33]

“When the physiological and subjective sexual arousal are not the same, that is when arousal non-concordance occurs.” [06:09]

“Regardless of what genitals you have, wetness or an erection does not mean that that person is consenting to the activity.” [10:29]

“Arousal non-concordance happens with every emotional and motivational system we have. If my mouth waters when I bite into a wormy apple, does anybody say to me ‘you said no but your body said yes’?” [13:13]

“You have to communicate and not just go off of our body’s responses.” [14:52]