Own Your Business

My brother owns a talent company in Los Angeles, and I once asked him what he did for his clients. He thought for a while, then said, “I manage their expectations.”  He went on to explain that a lot of writers and directors - the types of clients he represented at the time - go to Hollywood with big dreams. They have talent, ideas, and are willing to work hard to get where they want to go. Unfortunately, so do thousands of others - and studios only have so many shows they’ll produce each year, which means the spots at the top of success are few and far between. It takes time to earn one. In my brother’s line of work, that means years, maybe even decades of putting in your dues before you get the rewards you want. That’s a tough sell, because Americans love an overnight success story. We think it happens all the time (which it doesn’t). Most people worked their way up the ladder for years before getting any recognition. Years. Just because you (or some journalist or influencer) found out about them only recently doesn’t mean they started recently.  I see this all the time in the wedding industry. The need for immediate gratification. Short-term thinking. A general lack of patience. I get it: We all want to win with our businesses. But this is an infinite game that takes years to even learn the rules. I remember hearing Bryan Rafanelli on the main stage at my first Engage back in 2013. He said he took every opportunity that came his way for the first 10 years, till he was full. Ten years. That’s how long it took him to fill his calendar with a steady stream of clients at luxury levels. For the record, I was listening to him 17 years after he started his company. 17 years. When I first heard Bryan talk in 2013, he was three years past his biggest break, which was planning the wedding of Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky. You know who else worked with him on that wedding? Today’s guest for my podcast, Gigi de Manio.  For the record, she had been photographing for 20 years - 14 of those in the wedding industry - before she became a household name.  Today, Gigi and I talk about hitting singles instead of home runs with your business. Swing for the fences every time and you’ll end up striking out. Success in the wedding industry is a long game, one that takes time to develop talent and hone your skills and put yourself in a position to win big when it matters most. I hope you find as much inspiration and information on how to build a career in the wedding industry as I did in this conversation with Gigi.

Last week I sent out a newsletter about a “correction” in the wedding market last year, and the impact we’re feeling in our businesses this year - and likely next year too. It made quite a bit of noise on IG, which is great. Thank you Reagan Events for amplifying the ideas I shared and adding in a planner’s perspective on a speculative market in downstream vendors. Ironically, I’d just cut this episode with Lindsay Landman the day before all this happened. Instead of airing it in June, as planned, I want it to come out today.  Lindsay is one of the top planners in the world, and one of the savviest minds in our industry. When she says something, I listen. And so should you. Today we talk about  - Market correction after a 2022 boom - How to value your services in the current market - What couples think about vendor prices - Top ways to sabotage your relationships with planners Enjoy the show. This is a good one.

I remember my first day on the job working in a restaurant in 1994 at the age of 16. I’d eaten at them while growing up, but I’d never known how it all went together behind the scenes, behind the swing door going into the kitchen - and I was transfixed when that first day in the back-of-house watching it all go down.  Same thing happened when I worked my first wedding 17 years ago. I’d attended two weddings  in my life up until that point, but even so I was blown away by how much work went in behind the scenes to make it happen. So many moving pieces all coming together.  When I started doing ultra-luxury weddings with Todd Events in 2015 it was another eye-popping experience. Now, I spend my time not working directly with couples putting together their wedding, but with wedding professionals to create a successful company. A big part of anyone’s business is their website - and I’ve seen a lot of them come together over the years.  Our company has been a part of over 350 in the past 4+ years, which is like 10-15 years experience in design years. Remember, we currently have seven people working full-time to create brand strategies, design sites, and write copy.  Today, I’m bringing my wife and business partner, Katy Taylor Jacobson, on the podcast to talk about what goes into building a new site, and offer tips to take when you decide to undertake an overhaul or refresh, whether or not you choose us to bring the site together. Enjoy the conversation!

In the intro to the podcast you hear me say it’s hard to own your own business. Especially if it’s a business of one. Why? Because you’ve got to do ALL the things - even if you’re not good at them or love doing them. When you’re starting out or struggling, or too stubborn to hire out important work to experts, you end up doing all of it by yourself. And it’s tiring. You only get so much energy to devote to important things every day. Your brain can only do so many things with its logical, rational way of thinking - your System 2 mind. After a while, it switches over to System 1, where it makes decisions largely on autopilot using your emotional mind. For those of you with ADHD, it’s even tougher, because executive functioning skills like focus, attention and memory don’t come naturally like they do to many others.  Here’s something for you: Did you know that people with ADHD are 3-4x more likely to start and operate their own business than the regular population. Some estimates are that 1 in 5 entrepreneurs have ADHD, which means that hundreds of you who listen to this podcast regularly are going to get much-needed insight from my friend, colleague Megan Gillikin. Megan was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago, after struggling with certain parts of her life but constantly being told, “No, it’s not ADHD.” Finally, after advocating for herself and finding the right people, she got the information, insights, and resources she needed to overcome obstacles, and enjoy daily work more regularly. If you have ADHD, listen in, because Megan will share ideas for you to follow. If you think you might have undiagnosed ADHD, she’ll tell you how she went from curious about a diagnosis to determined to succeed with one. And if you’re just a regular solopreneur struggling to find ways to focus on your most important work, tune in as well, because you’ll hear new ways to make the most of your time in the office.

Learn how strategic image selection can attract ideal clients to your wedding business website. Explore resistance to popular media trends and the psychology behind image selection. Craft website messaging to connect with ideal clients and optimize buyer psychology for success.

Learn about the pitfalls of pitching packages too early, team growth challenges, navigating difficult sales calls, buyer awareness stages, and mastering discovery calls in sales. Gain insights on effective sales strategies and announcements of a new Masterclass series.

Julian Leaver, The Dapper Diplomat, shares expert advice on networking in the wedding industry, emphasizing the importance of building strong client relationships and vendor connections. The podcast discusses real-life networking skills, the value of face-to-face connections, and strategies for creating a welcoming networking environment. Learn tips for maximizing networking connections and setting up future meetings effectively.

You listen to the podcast because you want to be a more successful business owner. You want to get better at selling your services. At creating a solid website. At making messages that connect with your ideal clients.  I share information on the podcast, because I know how to do these things. And I love helping others like you who are open to the insights, the information, and most importantly, are willing to do the work to make the improvements. While I might be good at sales, marketing and buyer psychology, I was not always a good listener. It's been a weak spot in my skill set, not just in business, but as a person. As a friend, as a brother, as a son.  So 10 years ago, I decided to do something about it. Like you, I sought out a coach, an expert who could show me the way.  I learned a ton, not just from my coach, Laura, but from the resources she shared, the books I’ve read over the past decade, and the mentors who’ve taught me the value of listening is often more helpful in life and business than being a good talker. Today I’ll share a few techniques that will help YOU be a better listener. For people who inquire, for current clients, for friendors you collaborate with, and for everyone else in your life that wants to connect with you in real, meaningful ways. Listening may seem like a soft skill, but there’s nothing fluffy about the content I’m going to share over the next 15 minutes.

I tend to focus on practical advice about strategies and tactics on this podcast. Sales. Pricing. Copywriting. Website design. Communication. I take general behavioral science insights and apply them to your work as a wedding professional. However, don’t confuse my focus on these few areas with a belief that other areas aren’t important. They are the ones I choose to talk about, because I feel like there’s a gap in these topics in the wedding industry, and I’m uniquely qualified to provide expertise and advice in them. It’s my passion, and what I know most about. But you have more responsibilities as a business owner or wedding pro than just sales, pricing, copywriting, websites and communication - which is why I bring on different guests to talk about areas they’re expert in, about topics you can benefit from. This week I’m bringing in my friend and colleague, Gurminder Banga, to talk about mental health as a business owner - and as a regular human being.  Although I don’t talk about mental health much in my professional work, I’m very interested in it outside of work. Both my parents were therapists. I’ve focused on self-development regularly since I was in college. I’ve used therapy for grief, marital counseling, and parenting over the years. And right now, as I record this episode, I’m involved in a 12-week program to recover my own vitality as a fully present man in a crazy, chaotic world. Banga, which is how most people know him, has taken his own journey cleaning up his mental health - both as a business owner and human being. And along the way, he’s made it a point to educate himself in how to help others on their journeys to be a better version of themselves, particularly as it relates to full, whole success as a business owner. I hope you enjoy this conversation. It’s a good one.

We’ve all heard about the “inquiry season” or “booking season.” But does it really exist?  The digging I’ve done shows that it’s not as much of a thing as you might think. I surveyed dozens of clients inquiries and bookings from the past several years, and what I discovered might surprise you: There’s not a definitive bump in counts in the first quarter of the year compared to other times of the year. If inquiries were evenly distributed throughout the year, that would mean about 25% would occur in every quarter. Here’s what I found: Q1 - 26% Q2 - 22% Q3 - 28% Q4 - 24% Three things then: It’s fairly consistent throughout the year The traditional booking season is not really a big deal Q3, which is when most wedding pros are quite busy, is when most inquiries come in So what does this all mean? You have to focus on sales and marketing all year long You have to pay attention to next year’s couples when you’re servicing next week’s clients If you’re down in bookings, you still have a great chance to fill in your calendar with clients who are inquiring right now - no matter what time of the year it is that you hear this Today, I bring in Katy for a conversation on how you can generate inquiries with a few simple steps.