For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Another special bonus episode from the “Make Me Care About” podcast from the Gates Foundation with our own Jen Hatmaker talking with another amazing expert about things we may not know about and if we did–we would definitely care! When it goes well, giving birth can be a wonderful experience, but when it goes wrong, it can be deadly for mother and child alike. Too often, where you live, your access to quality care, and in some places–the color of your skin–determines whether or not you live or die during birth.In this episode, we have the privilege of hearing from journalist, activist, and mom Elaine Welteroth. Join Jen and Elaine as they discuss: How many women die every year during childbirth and pregnancy  The factors and risks contributing to mortality rates Why these deaths are preventable  The increased likelihood of death for Black mothers Why the United States has the highest number of maternal deaths among high income countries Gates Foundation & Guest LinksMake Me Care About Podcast SeriesGates Foundation Elaine Welteroth’s website Resources for this Episode Gender equality strategy Maternal, infant, and child health  Connect with Jen! Jen’s WebsiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of our For the Love of the Middle series, renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Shefali returns to the show to discuss her concept of conscious parenting. Those of us in the middle of life who may still be parenting kids at home, or adjusting to parenting adult children who have just launched out into the world–or in any season of the parenting journey, really–will find much to learn as we look back (and forward) at our parenting patterns. Dr. Shefali provides a step-by-step roadmap to help free parents and their children from toxic patterns and expectations, while building a lasting meaningful bond with them. Using her book as a guide, she will introduce us to the five patterns of ego, show us some varying parenting styles (including helping Jen unpack her own parenting style), develop a mindful focus on self-control, and tips on how we can encourage our adult children to parent themselves. Jen and the good doctor will hit some big topics that will inform not only parents, but those of us who wish to discover how we were parented, and how it impacts us now; including:  Walking through the definition of conscious parenting and the three stages of the parenting map Debunking the notion that as parents we are supposed to create happy, perfect superhumans by following traditional parenting rules Dismissing the notion that there are good kids and bad kids—and how to avoid using these labels   Revealing the five ego patterns parents that parents might not even realize inform their quest to raise amazing children The three reasons why children act out or misbehave and how you can learn not to shame them for it The results of over-parenting and how it shows up in your adult children It’s never too late to become a mindful parent and set an intention to allow your children to become centerstage in their own lives.* * *Thank you to our sponsors!Thought-Provoking Quotes“The evolution of the planet depends on the evolution of the parent.” - Dr. Shefali“Everyone wants a new tomorrow. But what we don't realize is that a new future comes with an absolute willingness to disrupt the past.” - Dr. Shefali“There is no such thing as a good kid or a bad kid. We put these labels based on an egoic agenda. So, what kind of kids are there? Just kids–just humans who are terribly flawed like we are, and terribly, but amazingly blissful like we are. They're just this unique combo and they defy labels.” - Dr. Shefali“The good girl taken to the extreme becomes self-sacrificial and she begins to lose her sense of self–it typically happens with girls. Then she's in her mid forties and she's like, ‘who am I?’” - Dr. Shefali “Conscious parenting is not something you are, it's something you become.” - Dr. Shefali“Punishment, shaming, blaming is never sustainable. I cannot tell you how many times a day I tell parents, ‘Listen, you appear to get control in the moment, but long term, it's going to be unforgiving.’” - Dr. Shefali“How do we constantly show our presence [to our adult children]? Unequivocal cheerleading. ‘I'm thinking of you. I miss you. I'm remembering you. I I adore you.’ Letting them know they are on our mind, but not involved in their day-to-day. - Dr. Shefali“When the ego crumbles, proportionately the heart expands, and you then are just this heart-centered being able to connect to other people in a very attuned, compassionate, genuine way. And your children will feel it.” - Dr. Shefali Guest’s LinksDr. Shefali’s websiteDr. Shefali’s InstagramDr. Shefali’s Facebook Resources Mentioned in This Episode “The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali “The Parenting Map” by Dr. ShefaliDr. Shefali’s previous interview on For the Love Connect with Jen! Jen’s websiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Another special bonus episode from the “Make Me Care About” podcast from the Gates Foundation with our own Jen Hatmaker talking with another amazing expert about things we may not know or care about, but should! This episode gives us the privilege of speaking with Surabhi Rajaram, a Program Officer at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation who focuses on improving immunization delivery. We dive deep into the world of safe syringes, and why they are so important in saving lives. Surabhi Rajaram is a true expert in her field, with years of experience at the forefront of improving global health. Today she shares her knowledge on the features of an auto-disabled syringe, and how it physically prevents the user from being able to withdraw the syringe again, ultimately preventing the spread of illness. Join Jen and Surabhi as they discuss: Why safe syringes are so important to effective vaccine delivery The importance of investing in scalable syringe manufacturing Improving immunization delivery for a safer world How preparing for disease threats like COVID requires syringe innovation  Our guest shares their life’s work around investing in safe and effective syringe manufacturing and delivery and how each of us can make a difference in the world of global health by learning more about this important topic.    Gates Foundation & Guest Links Make Me Care About Podcast Series Gates Foundation  Guest Surabhi Rajaram’s website   Resources for this Episode Vaccine Development and Surveillance Long Term Vaccine Development in Africa PATH Syringe GAP analysis UNICEF Syringes explainer video   Connect with Jen! Jen’s Website Jen’s Instagram Jen’s Twitter Jen’s Facebook Jen’s YouTube To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Continuing in our For the Love of the Middle series, we’re having a conversation about something that may impact us as we hit those middle years (or sooner)–caring for our aging parents. With us to be our guide through this sometimes difficult journey is Michelle Boyaner, the director of the documentary film "It's Not a Burden: The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents.” As a storyteller, Michelle felt compelled to talk about this particular stage of life, and decided to film her own journey through it with her mother to help others embrace this unique time in a family’s evolution. Jen and Michelle explore the highs and the lows of caregiving for aging parents and how to stay sane and open hearted during the process. Michelle Boyaner is an award-winning filmmaker, writer, and educator who founded production company Greenie Films with her wife, Barbara Greene. Together they have written, directed and produced a variety of short and feature films that tell stories of caring for aging parents, living with HIV and the challenges of mental illness–all told with their signature humor and deep capacity for compassion. Join Jen and Michelle as they discuss:  How to know when it's time to step in with your aging parents Honoring and managing your parents feelings of not wanting to be a burden Finding humor in the challenging moments  Why caregivers feel so lonely, even when there are so many in the U.S.  Moving from anger and frustration with difficult parental relationships to forgiveness  We hope you’ll feel less alone on your caregiving journey as Michelle provides practical advice and encouragement as well as some tough love for those in the middle of this common but not often discussed major life experience.* * *Thank you to our sponsors! Chime | Increase your credit score with the Chime app! Get a higher credit score today at www.chime.com/ForTheLove  Boll&Branch | These are the softest sheets ever. Get 15% off your best night's sleep at www.BollandBranch.com using promo code ForTheLove.  Thought-Provoking Quotes“How do you know it’s the right time to step in? If you see a cognitive difference, if there's a change like they're forgetting things–for example, my mom left her keys on the top of the car and sat in the car and didn't know why she couldn't start the car. That’s when you might want to consider stepping in. But how do I start that conversation? How can I place my hand on theirs and then gently sort of take the reins? It’s a tough thing to consider.” - Michelle Boyaner“By the time we get to this place in life [of caring for our] parents, you are playing a montage of their greatest hits and misses, right?” - Michelle Boyaner“It’s important to stay engaged with the humor of all situations if you can. That humor is this little cup of water that helps us in between the hard moments. Caring for aging parents has its absurd moments and leaning into the humor of it can sustain us.” - Michelle Boyaner “You're going to make mistakes. But the thing that becomes most important for those going through caring for an aging parent is to try to find support. Try to find others who have been going through the same thing and ask questions. Talk about how you're feeling. Take care of yourself to fill your tank so that you can help fill your parents' tank.” - Michelle Boyaner  Michelle’s LinksTwitterFacebookInstagram Books & Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeGreenie Films WebpageGreenie Films: Packed in a Trunk: The Lost Art of Edith Lake Wilkinson, It’s Not a Burden; The Humor and Heartache of Raising Elderly Parents, All Around the Nation, Finished Life by Michelle BoyanerInstagram Account by Heather Spooner: Letter League Liz Hammond’s Poem: “The women who walk us home” Connect with Jen! Jen’s WebsiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, For the Love Podcast community! We’re excited to share some bonus  episodes from a new podcast from the Gates Foundation, hosted by our very own Jen Hatmaker! It's all about getting to know the innovators who are out there changing the world and opening our minds to things that we might not otherwise think about much, like this first episode–poop! You can look forward to several of these bonus episodes popping into your feed that feature amazing conversations with experts who have shared their insights on the importance of things like sanitation systems, syringes, and even digital money. Our first episode in the series is all about…Poop! Jen speaks with expert Shannon Yee, an associate professor at the G.W.W. School of Mechanical Engineering at the Georgia Institute of Technology.    Jen and Shannon discuss:   How safe sanitation is a cornerstone of human health and society. Where poop goes when it leaves our bathrooms. The importance of investing in safe, scalable bathroom technologies now for future generations When will water scarcity impact our bathrooms and what to do about it.   Find out about what happens every time you flush in this very special debut episode.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re back in the middle of life with another installment of our “For the Love of the Middle” series. This episode marks the return of the amazing Dr. Jim Burns to the show. He is an author and founder of HomeWord, a non-profit organization aimed at helping families and individuals strengthen their relationships. Dr. Burns has over three decades of experience as a speaker and is the author of books such as “Life With Your Adult Children” and “Finding Joy in the Empty Nest”.  With his typical humor and self-awareness, Dr. Burns draws from his own experiences as a father in the middle of life–and also shares insights from his vast experience working with families and individuals. In this interview he touches on topics like loneliness in older adults, coping with post-divorce friendships, and enabling versus helping your adult children.Join Jen and Dr. Jim Burns as they discuss:  Navigating the loneliness felt by those 50 and older and how to prepare for that early on. Finding meaningful friendships as a single person in a coupled world. Giving advice to adult children without sounding critical. When helping becomes enabling with adult children. Easing the burden of the Empty Nest by investing in hobbies and community. Jen and Dr. Burns offer practical advice for maintaining and cultivating adult friendships and how to move through the challenges of parenting adult children with grace.* * *Thank you to our sponsors! BetterHelp | Try convenient and affordable therapy with BetterHelp anytime, anywhere. Give BetterHelp a try and get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/ForTheLove Thought-Provoking Quotes“One of the positive things that I saw was that the people who had good adult friends are the people who did well early on and made decisions to join a club and put themselves out there to meet people outside of the soccer games and kid friends. That planning in advance really helped with the empty nest syndrome.” -Dr. Jim Burns“American adults at 50+ tend to be very lonely people. In fact, there's a lot of studies on this and it's because they don't have replenishing relationships.You know, one of the best phrases that I have in my head on this is, a you know, successful and a well lived life is never accidental. And that takes time.” -Dr. Jim Burns“If we are always giving our kids advice, which we have been pretty good at for 20 of their years, that advice can be taken as criticism. Even if it's good advice! What they see is that you don't trust them to be an adult.” -Dr. Jim Burns“What we have to understand as parents, just like when they were five, is that the experience is a better teacher than advice. So you can say to your kid, "Don't touch that fire." But they're gonna touch the fire sometime and then they'll quit touching the fire because they did it one time and it burnt. But it's really hard for us as parents to trust them to learn from their own experiences.” -Dr. Jim Burns“As a parent, the question we have to ask is, are we helping or are we enabling dependency? And a lot of parents I think are enabling dependency as in, they mean to help. But sometimes we're enabling dependency and doing that in a way that doesn't help.” - Dr. Jim Burns Jim’s LinksWebsite: www.homeword.comFacebook: @JimBurnsTwitter: @DrJimBurnsInstagram: @drjimburnsYouTube: @homewordtoday Books & Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeHomewardNew Life LiveDr. Burns Books: Finding Joy in the Empty Nest, Life with Your Adult Children Dr. Burns on Jen Hatmaker in 2018  Connect with Jen! Jen’s WebsiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s here! Our next series, “For the Love of the Middle” kicks off this week. Many of us are at that middle stage of life, and if we aren’t, we’re going to get there eventually. This series brings life, hope and humor to a period of life which can at times be surprising, confusing, but ultimately, steeped in the wisdom of years lived and the harder work of our 20’s and 30’s behind us. We’re ringing in the start of this series with an amazing first guest; Mary Pipher, a clinical psychologist, anthropologist, and author. In her full scope of work, Mary has pioneered important conversations around motherhood and raising girls. Mary was the first to bring the effects of culture on mental health to the mainstream, especially for women and girls. She has a deep understanding of how culture can shape our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Her most recent work has focused on aging intentionally, peppered with her own experience and her work has inspired many people to rethink the way we approach mental health and aging within our society.Join Mary and Jen as they discuss: - Pipher's background in psychology and how she became engaged in the cultural conversations about girlhood.- The importance of cultivating personal resilience and adaptability in aging.- How society impacts the mental health of girls and women at different stages of life.- The cultural scripts that influence girls' body image and sexuality, and how they differ from reality.- The role of caregivers and the challenges they face in taking care of aging family members.Mary Pipher's work is groundbreaking in exploring the connections between culture, mental health, and their impacts on aging. Her insights are instrumental in shaping the way we approach mental health issues and caregiving, and her activism and writing continue to help women all over the world.Thank you to our sponsors!Boll & Branch | These are the softest sheets ever. Get 15% off your best night's sleep at www.BollandBranch.com using promo code ForTheLove. Jen Hatmaker & Friends Cruise | Book your spot now at JenHatmaker.com/cruise  MeCourse | Let’s join sexologist Dr. Celeste Holbrook and Jen as they talk about real steps you can take to improve your sex life. Head to MeCourse.org/love101 to register. Thought-Provoking Quotes!“One of the things I really love about my life as a 75 year old is I'm very busy, but I can wake up every morning and decide what I want to be busy at. And what a gift that is.” - Mary Pipher“Every life stage has its joys and its challenges as you know. We know that there's a lot of research that women get happier as they age. They're the happiest demographic in the world.” - Mary Pipher“if you don't become better, you become bitter. Right? You either grow or you shrink. You don't get to stay the same without growing. We all age, but we don't all grow. And the secret of being happy is growing.” -Mary Pipher“I very much believe we all find what we're looking for. And if what we're looking for is joy and love and kindness and beauty and laughter, that's what we find.” -Mary Pipher“So one of the goals of this life state is learning to detach and let go--acceptance of the fact that my world will not be as popular as before. And that means that the light I find is not in other people's eyes, it's gotta be in my own heart.” -Mary Pipher Guest’s Links! Mary Pipher's Website - www.marypipher.comMary Pipher's Facebook - @authormarypiperBooks & Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeMary Pipher's Books: Hunger Pains, the American Woman's Tragic Quest for Thinness, Reviving Ophelia, Women Rowing North, Seeking Peace, The Shelter of Each Other Simone De Beauvoir: The Second SexJane Jarvis - American Jazz Pianist Connect with Jen! Jen’s websiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every person is sexy just because they’re alive, according to this week’s guest in our For the Love of Sex Series; Dr. Alexandra Solomon. Jen & Dr. Solomon talk about how we can discover how to engage with our sexuality free from judgment or expectation. Dr. Alexandra Solomon is the author of bestselling books, “Loving Bravely” and “Taking Sexy Back” which both seek to empower women to reclaim their sexual journeys. As a highly acclaimed psychologist at Northwestern University, Dr. Solomon regularly presents her findings to people all over the world. Join Dr. Solomon and Jen as they discuss: Talking about sex with your partner  How to stop settling for less in the bedroom  Objectively reflecting on your sexual journey without judgment The real impact of trauma on our sexual selves How desire shifts over the course of a relationship  Dr. Solomon explains the basic premise that undergirds her work; that every person has the right and ability to experience pleasure and joy and connection through sex.* * *Thank you to our sponsors!Thought-Provoking Quotes:“What stands out first and foremost about women and sex is that we are so completely objectified from the time we're little. That's the nature of patriarchy, is to objectify women. And we learn to objectify ourselves. I don't know how it is for you, but I know I have forever related to my body as a forever fixer-upper project.”- Dr. Alexandra Solomon“There's an idea that sexiness is defined from the outside in. So in my book, "Taking Sexy Back," that's what we're taking back. We're taking back this idea that sexiness is externally defined. That actually, our “sexy” lives right here inside of us, and it always has. Your sexuality is a part of yourself. It's a part of who you are. It's your embodied relationship with touch and physical expression and pleasure and creativity and play.” - Dr. Alexandra Solomon“There's going to be dry spells. There's going to be mismatched libidos. There's going to be menopause. There's going to be childbirth and job changes and medical diagnoses. Things are going to happen. So I want couples to be together, shoulder to shoulder, looking at the problem together. It's not my problem or your problem. It's us looking at our sexual connection. How do we as a couple cultivate this, nurture it, tweak it over time? Making love as 50-year-olds is going to look and feel different than making love as 23-year-olds.” - Dr. Alexandra Solomon“We think that if we're sex positive, it means that we're these super confident vixens and divas, and that we have to be up for anything. But we all struggle with this idea of, "Wait, can I be sex positive and a bit timid? Can I be sex positive and what we would call, quote-unquote, 'vanilla,' or not super interested in being kinky or pushing edges? Sex positivity basically means coming in with the idea that sex is natural and normal, and we're all sexual, and what we're interested in is not weird or pathological. It's coming in from a foundation of positivity.” - Dr. Alexandra SolomonGuest’s Links:Dr. Solomon’s Website Dr. Solomon’s Instagram - @dr.alexandra.solomonDr. Solomon’s Twitter - @ahsolomonDr. Solomon’s Facebook - @dralexandrasolomonDr. Solomon’s YouTube - @alexandrahs1 Books & Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Reimagining Love PodcastDr. Solomon’s books: Loving Bravely & Taking Sexy Back E-Course: Marriage 101 for the Grown and Sexy Connect with Jen!Jen’s websiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube   To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As part of Jen’s dedication to bringing her community sex education and sexual liberation, we’re opening up a book club episode to everyone. Today Jen’s talking to the original badass sex educator — Emily Nagoski. Emily created a sea change in the wider culture of how we talk about women’s sexuality and make space for the variety of experiences for women and sex. Since then, she’s become a celebrated speaker and the go-to expert on women’s sexuality. She recently updated “Come as You Are” as the sex science evolved and we’re excited to talk about it.In this Jen Hatmaker Book Club episode, Jen and Emily discuss: Sex not being a biological drive Connecting to your own body as a birthright Your sexuality being yours and pleasure is the measure of it The weight on women to perform pleasure The power of mindfulness and connecting to your body How to maintain a successful long term sexual relationship with a partner * * *Thank you to our sponsors!Jen Hatmaker & Friends Cruise | Book your spot now at JenHatmaker.com/cruiseJen Hatmaker Book Club | Use code READ for $5 off your first month at jenhatmakerbookclub.com Me Course — Sex | Sign up for the presale price at 40% off at mecourse.org Thought-Provoking Quotes“Pleasure is the measure. It is not how often you have sex or how much you crave sex. It is not what you do. It is not who you do it with, or in what room, or in what position. It is whether or not you like the sex you are having.” - Emily Nagoski“If a feeling happens in you and you're like, "I don't know where this is coming from," that's totally fine. Insight is not required. But in the same way that we complete the stress response cycle, feelings are tunnels, you have to go through the darkness to get to the light at the end.” - Emily Nagoski“We are in a bad moment around trans rights, around gay rights, around reproductive rights. A very dark moment where misogyny is rising, violence against the LGBTQIA2+ community is rising, and I think a conversation that centers with women's sexual pleasure is a very moderate place to be having a conversation. People can have a conversation and feel confident talking about their own sexual pleasure, which makes it easier to recognize that, "Oh, everyone has a right to this. Everyone has a right to basic bodily autonomy. Everyone has a right to experience the pleasure their body is capable of experiencing." - Emily Nagoski“When you release pain, it means you have to move through this pain, and a lot of us have spent a very long time hiding from, or medicating, or just tolerating an incredible, intense amount of pain and suffering that was imposed on us, that we never chose for ourselves, and we know that we can just keep marching forward with that pain. And the first dip your toe into processing those difficult experiences feels terrifying.” - Emily Nagoski“bodies are a disappointment sometimes. They are complicated, and people have feelings about them, but you get this life, your body is the one and only thing you have on the day you're born, that you still have with you on the day you die, and it's the gift that there is of living a human life.” - Emily Nagoski“There's not a linear progression from broken to normal to perfect. That is not how sex works. We are all always moving through the cycle from the wounds that were created in our bodies in the first couple few decades of our lives to the healing that we're doing for ourselves now.” - Emily Nagoski Guest Links Dr. Emily’s WebsiteDr. Emily’s InstagramDr. Emily’s Facebook Books & Resources Mentioned in This Episode Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Book Come as You Are Book Connect with Jen! Jen’s websiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As our guest today says, “Everybody is here because somebody had sex.” Today we talk to Brandon Kyle Goodman about coming out from the shadows of your own desire. We’re looking at a new era of sex positivity in pop culture and in our lives. In this episode we explore themes from Brandon’s book: You Gotta Be You: How to Embrace This Messy Life and Step Into Who You Really Are. Listen as Jen and Brandon discuss: Sex in Culture, The Importance of Diverse Representation Subverting Gender Norms in the Bedroom  Understanding Brandon’s Non-Binary Gender Identity  Exploring your Sexual Identity with Radical Self Acceptance and Love Coming Out and the Importance of Chosen Family It’s a new day for sex in our media, our bedrooms, and in our minds and hearts! This conversation illustrates the unbelievable freedom to be found in honoring your sexual identity. Share a moment with Jen and Brandon as they walk the path towards personal sexual liberation and finding peace within yourself. * * *Thank you to our sponsors!Thought-Provoking Quotes:“I fully believe that if you can tap into the vulnerability in the bedroom, you'll find your power everywhere else.” - Brandon Kyle Goodman“I always say self-love is the thing that saved my life. It is real. Loving yourself and knowing that you're worthy and filling your cup up. Pop culture tells you that your body, your skin, your gender is wrong. It is a radical act to love yourself in our world, but get about the business because on the other side of that is a life worth living.” - Brandon Kyle Goodman“All of us exist because somebody had sex. That's how this works. That's why you're here, so why are we pretending our parents don't do it? It's all as you said, it's a separate thing. It's put in a box and we don’t talk about it. Why can't we all be talking and learning and exploring and saying, "Oh, how did you ask about that? How did you get him to do that? How did you get her to do that? How did you navigate this?" The more we don't talk about it, the more shame we have, and so sex positivity is so important.” -Brandon Kyle Goodman“There's so much shame I think that queer folks inherently have around their sexuality. I think women also have this. No, I don't think–I know women also have this. Our bodies are policed, our sexuality is policed.” - Brandon Kyle Goodman“I would say you have one life. Are you going to live it for you? Or you can live it for somebody else. I had a teacher who was in the closet and I found out after his mother passed that he finally came out, but at that point, he was in his 50s, and now it's this whole life that you've missed for this other person. Do it in your own time, but don't miss out on your life for somebody else's approval.” -Brandon Kyle Goodman“Let's hold multiple truths. Multiple things get to be true. The freedom to be you can be liberating and allow you to live your best life, but also there is a pain and a sadness and a longing from losing the people that may not be able to support you on that journey.” -Brandon Kyle GoodmanBrandon’s LinksWebsite: www.brandonkylegoodman.comInsta: @brandonkylegoodmanTwitter: @brandonkgoodYoutube: @brandonkgoodBooks & Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Brandon Kyle Goodman acts and writes for shows: Big Mouth, and Human Resources on Netflix Brandon Kyle Goodman’s Book “You Gotta Be You: How to Embrace This Messy Life and Step Into Who You Really Are”Tricia Hersey’s Book “The Nap Ministry” The Nap Ministry’s Instagram Connect with Jen!Jen’s websiteJen’s InstagramJen’s TwitterJen’s FacebookJen’s YouTube To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices