Your Kickstarter Sucks

Whether you’re driving in the car, folding your laundry at home, or simply falling asleep and hoping there’s not a super loud fart noise piped into the mix from totally out of nowhere, there’s no better podcast airing its 249th episode today than Your Kickstarter Sucks. On today’s program we lament the passing of Midwest Elvis, 86 our friend Mike Hale, and prove once and for all what the shape of Earth actually is. I think I forgot to say that David sent that Kickstarter in, and I can’t really go back and add that into the show, but I wanted to say it here in case David reads the episode descriptions. The problem is that we are using a dark mode extension for Google Docs and it makes basically all the colors but white hard to read. And I put “From David” in a red text, but it showed up really dark red. So that is my bad on that one David and oh yeah by the way, the earth is flat so I shouldn’t have done the Kickstarter anyway. Credits Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Did you guys see where a bunch of NFT apes got stolen or sold or faked or something? Something probably happened with the apes, I think? Well, that will NEVER happen when you subscribe to YKS Premium. Last week we talked with the wonderful Zoë Ligon, in a delightful episode many are calling “very pornographic”. This week, who knows, maybe we’ll have Elon Musk on! Wouldn’t that be funny as hell!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Energy in the morning? Yes, it’s possible, thanks to the fine folks at Athletic Greens and their AG1 vitamin blend. And it tastes pretty good too, unlike “you know what”! Try it for your own self at AthleticGreens.com/YKS and get a free year’s supply of Vitamin D and travel packs as well. HelloFresh - You know, in the old days, “getting fresh” with someone was NOT something to be proud of. Nowadays, “getting fresh” food is actually good! My, how times change. So change with them! Get up to 16 free meals plus free shipping when you use the code YourKickstarterSucks16 at HelloFresh! Honey - Coupon codes are truly a double edged sword. The first edge of the sword is the saving money part. But the other edge, which is not as good, is the one where you have to REMEMBER the stinking things. Too hard! Download Honey to day at JoinHoney.com/YKS and kiss the bad edge of your swords goodbye!NordVPN - “🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌”  Yup. Nuff said. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oh my god…That’s what you’ll be saying when you hear this week’s episode of YKS, which is so full of awesome content I almost decided to rename it The Awesome Content Show. That’s right, I almost unilaterally made the decision to change the name of the show I do as a full time(ish) job from something identifiable, descriptive, and established (if a little mean) to “The Awesome Content Show”, an honorific perhaps only as blasé as it is inscrutable! Just playing. But keep in mind I could change the name of this show at any fuckin’ time I want. On today’s show, we’re talkin melty clocks, rich guys reinventing the bus, and the ethics of using a marinade on your chicken. Plus we spill the tea on what it’s like being live show superstars, after our recent standing ovation (maybe? Couldn’t bear to look straight ahead) at Zanies with the Doughboys. Download it now, you 8-digited Cro-magnonite! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.If YKS has a million fans I am one of them. If YKS has ten fans I am one of them. If YKS has only one fan, that is me. If YKS has no fans, that means I am no longer on Earth. For now, though, I am at YKS Premium. And this week on the show: sex educator Zoë Ligon teaches us how to do all that good stuff. Ohhhhh!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Birddogs - A couple weeks ago, if you had told me how much I’d love these pants with the underwear built into ‘em, I’d have said you were crazy. I mean, I already got underwear. What’s the point of putting it in the pants? Well, I don’t really know but I can tell you that my birddogs pants and shorts are now my everyday wear. I don’t know, man. They’re good! Try ‘em for yourself at Birddogs.com and get a free dad hat with the promo code YKS. Outer - Outdoor furniture…well I’ve heard of indoor furniture, but what, now I gotta have a couch outside? Yep. Sorry. You are in the 2 couch lifestyle now. And while you’re here, why not make sure you got the best looking, most weather-resistant, and hell, probably the most sustainable outdoor couch on the block? Save yourself $300 and get free shipping, too, at LiveOuter.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Stress stinks! Talking about stress with a qualified professional counselor? Now that’s what’s nice. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKSDiet Smoke - Ganja this, terpenes that. Hell, I don’t know, man. Just give me a nice little buzz that doesn’t turn me straight up wacky. That’s what they figured out with this Delta-8 stuff. And it works! Diet Smoke’s version, at least, tastes pretty good too. Give it a try, and get 20% off – forever! That’s right, keep on using the code, folks. They love it. Just head to DietSmoke.com, armed with the promo code YKS20. And slap it in there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hoppy Easter, Everyone! Well, Easter, of course, was yesterday, and I’d love to tell you we did something special for the holiday, but honestly I don’t think either one of us knew it was coming up when we recorded it. So instead, I believe this episode will be our usual mix of whiny complaints about aging, nutting in a condom jokes, somebody farting, something you won’t hear because we had Dan cut it out at the last minute, and maybe 1 or 2 Kickstarters. There’s gonna be a couple ads on the regular episode, and none if you’re on the ad-free Patreon. Plus, we will make the world a better place due to our good deeds. Oh yeah and Mike sticks an easter egg up his ass. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Faherty - A lifetime guarantee of quality…one thing you’ll get with Faherty’s fine clothing that you will never see anywhere close to YKS. But they can back it up! This stuff is hella nice. Get 20% off your next springtime piece at FahertyBrand.com/yks with the code YKS! Diet Smoke - Folks, you know me. I am not the archetypal “Stoner God”. And yet, even a Cannabis Coward such as myself can handle the smooth, relaxing experience of Diet Smoke Delta-8 gummies. Celebrate 4/20 with 20% off your next legal high at DietSmoke.com and the code YKS20. And then keep the code + use it forever! It works!Athletic Greens - I hate my gut! Why did I put all this crap in it! Well, maybe I should put some better stuff in it. Which is why I got Athletic Greens’ AG1: a killer mix of vitamins, minerals, and adaptogens that finally has me and my gut getting along again. Get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit Athleticgreens.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Helping people kicks ass. But did you forget…you are a person, as well? Ah! Try helping yourself out, while someone else helps you out as well, at BetterHelp. And oh yeah, did we mention that the coupon code YKS helps you out as well, by getting you 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS? Oh shoot, and it helps us out as well! Wow! That’s a lotta help! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

April showers bring….whaaaa? Shitty Kickstarters? Well that ain’t what I heard, but so be it! On today’s show, your friends Mike and JF show you a brand new world…a world in which viral posts existed before the normal-wheeled bicycle, the toilet has been perfected with a urine trebuchet, and your family never has to say goodbye to you because you will always be on a dinky little website (as long as the hosting fee gets paid). And that’s not all! Well, actually I guess it kind of is. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well that’s why the Christian God invented YKS Premium! Last week the boys supported independent cinema by taking a trip to the theater and reviewing Morbius, and this week? Oh, brother…you’re just gonna have to join to find out! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor - Ah yes, meals. The famous thing we love to eat a few times per day. But oh, the hassle! Well with Factor, it’s downright simple. And not just the eating of the meals either, it’s the getting and fixing of them, too! Get $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120Honey - Paying full price is soooo cool NOT! That’s why we spend hours and hours searching for coupon codes. But it’s starting to take a toll on my life. That’s why I got Honey. Hey, maybe save yourself $12 off some sheets like JF did at JoinHoney.com/YKSTruebill - So many services…not enough time! Gosh I’d love nothing more than to utilize all these different subscriptions, but it would honestly have to be my full time job. And, arguably, it is! But still. I’m gonna cancel some with Truebill. Join me, won’t you? Try Truebill out and tell ‘em YKS sent ya at Truebill.com/YKSAthletic Greens - Improving my gut health, increasing my energy levels, absorbing a straight up respectable amount of adaptogens? You know, I’m starting to think Green really is my color! Nab a year’s supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yks.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Now this is interesting...says here on this card that this week’s episode of YKS goes out to the YKS discord and all of its perfect members, especially Drake and our close personal friend, Discord user Rob. Wow! Sounds like a real fine group of characters. I can only hope those folks like hearing about the Dadbod of Destiny, a brand new streaming platform for horse lovers, and a custom machine that can bulk-mix the world's 654th most popular cocktail on demand. Knowing them...heh...I'd bet anything they will. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Put some YKS in your life! YKS Premium is the only place to get more Mike and JF unless you meet us in public and stab us in the bellies. Don't do that! Just head over to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and toss us an $8 bill to get video of each and every premium episode delivered in the crispest HD your video card can handle. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh - 16 free meals and 3 free gifts? Where in the HELL do I sign up? Simple. Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 and use that promo code yourkickstartersucks16. Then, simply sit back, relax, and Enjoy Da Grub(TM). Athletic Greens Hey I tell ya what. I know so little about my body I used to think my gut was a part of my nervous system! But now I know better. Although with Athletic Greens AG1, it really doesn't matter. They're all getting the benefits of vitamins, adaptogens, etc. athleticgreens.com/YKS for a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs.BetterHelp You already know...hahaha...you already know. Kiss the uncomfortable waiting room goodbye, and trade it for a comfortable chatroom! Therapy...in a digital world. What'll they think of next? Oh yeah, discounts! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

“He ate the whole wheel of cheese. I’m not even mad.” - UnknownRemember Sarah Palin? What was THAT all about, huh? She’s not in this episode at all really but I just saw something that reminded me of her and thought maybe you’d get a kick out of remembering her for a second as well. But if not, no worries, because you’re about to listen to about 90 minutes of pure nonsense from 2-3 bozos with barely anything going on. Today’s episode, for instance, features a Bitcoin wallet which is just a credit card, an idea that actually makes pizza bad somehow, and, incredibly, a Donald Trump RPG. That’s right folks, it’s episode 244, and that’s what’s going on. But that’s Monday for ya. Enjoy! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium: The only way to become a guaranteed genius. Trying out some new marketing techniques on these plugs. First up: an inscrutable lie! Hey but in all seriousness gang, the overall experience of YKS Premium is banging, and there’s always more coming down the big stinky pipe. This week, we’ve got our much-ballyhooed mailbag dropping for our Squeeze Louise supporters, and that’s IN ADDITION to a Premium episode concept to be named later. Last week we previewed the Oscars with our friend Dan O’Sullivan…how’d we do? (smirk)This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Just when you thought they couldn’t make tropical-tasting stuff healthy, or vice versa…they went and invented Athletic Greens! A good tasting and good for you drink, now that’s nothing to shake a stick at. So put down the stick! And get your year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSOuter - Outdoor furniture has a tough job. It’s gotta feel good when I sit on it, and also not freak out if it gets rained on. Well Outer has perfected that combination of traits, plus their stuff is modular as the day is long. And you’ll wish the day WAS longer when you’re sitting outside on your Outer furniture. Get a massive $300 off your order when you use the code YKS300 at LiveOuter.com/YKS!BetterHelp - “Takin’ Care of Business, every day, oh yeah!” That’s what I’m thinking when I’m doing stuff around the house, taking care of the kiddos and pets, and helping my wife do whatever. And by the time the song stops, I ain’t got no time for my own self. Sad! But the folks at BetterHelp wanna help with that bit of relatable malaise, and you can try them right now with 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s Arts and Crafts Time, It’s Arts and Crafts Time…It’s time to make…this hat! On today’s show, appropriately enough, we are talking about the devilish ways of Nature’s Demons: Children, as JF has a showdown at the D&B Corral with the Token Ticket Coward. Also, ever wonder when we’re gonna get Capitalism II? Yeah, we did too. It’s so good. We invented it! Plus we got a tree that grows on your computer, a type of doll you can make whoopee with, and some real Iron Man tech if Tony Stark had like $56 instead of a million trillion. Spin your luck now! And download this shit!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS? Yup, yup. Heard it a million times before. People want more YKS but they don’t know where to get it. Well how about this. Sign up for YKS Premium on Patreon and download all the extra episodes you want. Hey it’s only $5! Which is probably worth like $4 now a days. So who cares!Oh yeah, and you can come see us LIVE at Zanies on April 20th when the Doughboys come to town! Grab your tickets here, but just a heads up you can only buy 8 per person. Sucks!This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks:NordVPN You already know!!! You already know!! Get an exclusive discount and a month for free and a gift on top of it all at NordVPN.com/YKS or when you use the code YKS at checkout.Faherty - Go JF Style on the sweater game with Faherty and shove it in everyone’s face who said you didn’t have nice sweaters and couldn’t pick out a nice sweater if your life depended on it. Get 20% off your order at FahertyBrand.com when you use promo code YKS at checkout. Diet Smoke - Hey maaaaan, wanna get high? Statistically speaking, your answer to this question is most likely, “yes”. But sometimes we just can’t afford to go to the damn moon. We got stuff to do later! That’s where Diet Smoke comes in. A reasonable (and legal!) high that tastes like candy. Folks we’re in Jetsons territory here. Use code YKS20 at checkout for 20% off your order at DietSmoke.com – and then keep on using it. YKS20 is good forever!Honey - Now I’ve done a good job listing the discount codes we’d like for you to use up there. But the truth is, not everyone is so good at getting the word out. That’s why they invented Honey – let the cute little app go lookin’, so you don’t have to. He needs something to do! Download Honey now for free at JoinHoney.com/YKS and start finding your discounts today. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Daylight Savings WHAAA? The clock may be going totally wacko, but the calendar, my friends...well, the calendar is staying on point! Another Monday has appeared, and it's time to post the episode of YKS we all will love to listen to. Now is the point, of course, at which we all realize that JF has left his notes for the episode downstairs and doesn't want to go get them so we're gonna have to figure this out on our own. Folks, on today's show we've got a candle device that even Mike won't use, a hilarious TV show, or channel, or something, that's going to save Earth, and a new speaker idea that I wouldn't even play Justin Bieber's latest album on. Wow! We did it! And I didn't even have to go downstairs! Nice work everyone. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Oh Hello Dearie! Well, you'll be wanting to hear more YKS now then, won't you? My, my my. I suppose you'll need to head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon then, won't you? This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks:NordVPN - The internet is the door of entertainment...and all you need is the key. That's where NordVPN comes in. It's the key to the thing I said earlier. Get a deal that'll make your ISP blush at NordVPN.com/YKSTrueBill - Sure, we've all heard of BrewTill, the place where we pony up for IPAs and Dobbelbocks and so forth. But TrueBill? The new app saving their members millions?? Absolutely. And in some ways, it's arguably more real than the other thing I said. Get yourself started at Truebill.com/YKSFactor - Healthy eating is great, and so is getting mail, but who has the time anymore, much less the genius to combine those two things into one fabulous enterprise? Well the answer to the first part is you, and the answer to the 2nd part is Factor. But one doesn't really make sense without the other. I structured it like a weird riddle, sorry. Enjoy $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120BetterHelp - Therapy...it's that thing that makes you go "Oh yeah. Good idea." But you know, you get in the car, you drive around, and you end up back home again. What the heck! Driving the car is too hard. That's why BetterHelp is bringing the therapy to the computer world: where we all live! Yaaay! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whether you love a big piece of milk, having lots of Jameses, or the classic "kill your fuckin self game", Episode 241 of the Your Kickstarter Sucks Podcast is sure to please. Sorry I just watched The Meg and it was so good that I put off writing this episode description for too long and I had to go into SEO mode. We really could have done multiple Turteltaubs for Jesseuary! The guy knows what we like...when you think you have the big shark but then another, bigger shark comes along and eats you and the original big shark. Incredible stuff. Plus we got two Llama games on the show, which is more than usual. And really, many would say, two too many. To hell with them! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! That's the place to get more YKS, if you've "prestiged" out of the currently available episodes. Or, hell, just want to support a boy and his dream to annoy his friend by making him talk about toilet scrubbers every week. Jesseuary has come and gone, but an outrageous amount of bonus content awaits you behind Patreon's velvet ropes: collaborations with our friends from Blocked Party, Hollywood Handbook, Doughboys, and more. And better yet, we get absolutely crazy and sick nasty with it. Check it out. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh -- You already know what time it is! It's time to get meals...delivered to your house...and then you cook them? HelloFresh, you are crazy for this one! But it's just crazy enough to work...Hey, call my bluff with up to 16 free meals at HelloFresh.com/yks.Athletic Greens -- Healthy and tasty...yeah I think those are called opposites! Well, with Athletic Greens, opposites attract. You got your vitamins, minerals, the whole shebang in here, and it tastes good to boot. And no, it's not boot flavored! Get 5 free travel packs of AG1 plus a year's supply of Vitamin D at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.NordVPN -- Just when you thought tech couldn't get any more bada$$...they come out with NordVPN. Get a yoooge discount off your plan plus a bonus month and a gift at NordVPN.com/yks. How can you afford not to do this? Seriously! I'm asking! BetterHelp -- Taking care of yourself mentally...now that's what I call a baller attitude towards self care. Kiss the uncomfortable waiting room goodbye (not literally because of covid, of course) and get 10% off your first month of affordable and private online therapy at BetterHelp.com/yks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to iPodcast, the very first podcast for your phone!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.You've heard all about it, you've read the articles, you've seen the awards. And now, Jesseuary is wrapping up over at the YKS Premium Patreon. We've got great guests, incredible games, and wall to wall analysis of some of Cinema's most overlooked films. The only problem is, there's no way to hear it! Oh wait a minute, what the HELL am I talking about? All you have to do is type in Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucks or better yet, click that damn link, and be whisked away to the payment portal where we will ask but a humble $5 for years and years of content. Lock in at our $8 Squeeze Louise tier for even MORE bonus episodes, including this week's Jesseuary finale, featuring the boys from Podcast The Ride and The Sorcerer's Apprentice! Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks:NordVPN! Where my tech heads at! If you love tech like we do, you already know the benefits of a VPN. But lemme toss everyone else a hint: it's Very imPortant and Nice! Get it?? Good. Head over to NordVPN.com/YKS and use that code YKS for a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 1 additional month for free + a bonus gift! Athletic Greens! "Ohhhh I HATE having good gut health!" - That's what we all sounded like in our 20s, every single one of us, without exception. But gang, the truth of the matter is, we gotta get our butts in gear here, and of course our butts start right up in the stomach area (not a doctor). Give yourself the dadgum vitamins and so forth you need every day, with 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D, at AthleticGreens.com/YKSCodecademy! Wow, tech heads, our cup really runneth over this week. You know I've been meaning to learn how to actually work a computer instead of just clicking around on the stupid thing. Whether it's Ruby, Python, or even the classic HTML, the computer uses a variety of languages that aren't English to communicate its wants and needs. Uncover its many mysteries today by learning to speak your laptop's native tongue! Use promo code YKS to get 15% off Codecademy Pro, the best way to learn to code!BetterHelp! I recently heard 99.99% of the American workforce is work from home now, so why not work...on yourself...from home? Makes sense, right? Well I don't know, I'm just riffing. But if you'd like to talk to someone who can actually tell you if stuff makes sense or not, check out BetterHelp.com/YKS and get 10% off your first month of "helping me figure out if this stuff makes sense". Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.