Your Kickstarter Sucks

Somebody said "There's a new episode of YKS!" lol. lmao. On today's show we're going full on Parent Mode with a look at a Christian comic book hero that could finally save the day, a new game of poker that might be able to do the same thing, and of course, some tarot cards with Eminem on them. Right twix...left twix...it really don't matter which side you're on, as long as you're armed with the shield of truth, the knowledge of how to make a website, and some vitamins you can drink. Hell, I don't know if you're gonna like it or not but at least there's some C-3PO in it. It's a new YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Say it with me now: It's Jesseuary time! That's right, gang. Our annual celebration of the best/worst Hollywood has to offer has begun, and the only place to get it is at YKS Premium. This week we're joined by our friends Tom Walker and Demi Lardner of bigsofttitty.png, and we're watchin' The Mummy (2017)! Head on over to Redbox and grab a copy, then subscribe to YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and we'll bring the popcorn! (I actually don't like popcorn that much but I'll have like 4 bites of yours if that's ok). Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by Athletic Greens AG1. Wow! There's so many dadgum vitamins and adaptogens in this sucker I gotta wonder if Dr. Jeykll himself invented it! But this stuff won't turn you into a monster...it'll give you some energy and help your guts. Not bad. Hey Russell Crowe, check this mess out. In fact, whether you're a membe 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts or not, you can get 1 a year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 travel packs of AG1 with your first purchase with our promo code. Check it out at AthleticGreens.com/YKSAlso sponsoring this week's show: Codecademy. You know that thing you look at your damn emails on every day? Yeah, the one with all the crazy posts? Well turns out there's folks out there what know how to make it "get up and go!" And you can too. Whether it's python, java, or any of the other good computer languages to know, Codecademy is the place to learn 'em. Get 15% off your Codecademy Pro membership when you go to Codecademy.com and use promo code YKS. Right now!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more of the stuff is over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Bummer, right? Believe me, if there were another way to go about it, I'd be the FIRST one to tell you. But right now, as it stands, any YKS fan in need of a few extra laughs simply must pony up a nominal amount of dough for access to YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Truebill. I've been seeing these commercials lately, and the guy who came up with Truebill says he hasn't looked at his credit card bill in a long time. Well he's probably pretty busy and honestly ya know what, they do put a lot of lines on there with all the numbers and crap. Who knows what's on there! That's somebody else's problem. Tell ya what, if you'd like to save a few bucks without the hassle of the whole envelope rigamarole, check 'em out at Truebill.com/YKS.Also hookin it up BIG TIME on this episode? Athletic Greens! You know how I feel about tropical flavors. I am absolutely wild for them, whether it's in my cup or in my mouth. And when those AG1 adaptogens go to town on my gut health...that's when I know it's time to take on my to-do list (normally it's like, eat some lunch or something). Put your guts on notice and get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs of AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/YKS. Finally, this portion of the episode description bloc just wouldn't be this portion of the episode description bloc without BetterHelp. You know, I think it would look kinda cool if they stylized it like this: betterhelp. Just kind of a casual way of doing it. Research indicates this would appeal to...millennials. Or whatever the good one is now. But that's above my pay grade quite honestly and I'm just the amazingly talented, charismatic ad copy in the episode description bloc guy. And now for my speciality, the call to action. Try betterhelp out today and get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this week's YKS, we attempt to reconstruct what the show was about despite apparently throwing away the show notes, or maybe never even writing anything down in the first place. Oh wait. That's what I'm doing right NOW!!! Well if you go back and look at the sheet we write out before recording, it looks like we revisited the perfect work-from-home Kickstarter with fresh eyes, which I thought was a smart angle for this. And then we do 6 Kickstarters of course. There's a nasty game for nerds on there, there's a Trump thing, a scam, and a useless niche product designed by a space alien. Plus, we decide what kind of store we would be if we were going to be a store. Dollars to donuts there's some good riffs in here too...but don't take my word for it. Listen to my words! Of it! (By downloading the show now.)Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon. That's basically where we do all kinds of crazy cool stuff and go nutty with it. Also there's no ads, which is a great thing or a bad thing depending on who you ask. Probably the more important thing is the hundreds of hours of bonus content and dozens (so far!) of video episodes which will just damn fall into your damn lap once you fork over the cash. Wow...listening stuff and now seeing stuff as well...YKS Premium is truly a feast for the senses! This week's YKS is sponsored by Manscaped. Help your penis look better for Valentime's Day with Manscaped. Get 20% off plus free shipping when you use our code YKS 20. When you do that, you're supporting the show and your penis. So imagine the meme from Predator with the two guy shaking hands, and one of them says Penis and the other one says YKS and then in the middle it says Support. Or maybe it says YKS20. Whichever you want. Just send me the meme and I'll look at it and let you know.Listen to your favorite podcast and cook up tasty, easy-to-prep meals! That's what it says on the website for HelloFresh when you click on it. And hell, I'm inclined to agree. The only thing that would make it better is getting up to 15 free meals and 2 free gifts. But you already know that since I'm there, it's actually gonna be 16 free meals and 3 free gifts with the code yourkickstartersucks16. Wow! I made them offer the deal! Well if you know me, you know I'm always thinking about my gut health. But I hate munching big handful of vit of mins. Drinking some good tasting green water though? Yeah I can handle that. And so can you, probably, with Athletic Greens. Get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.Finally, YKS is sponsored -- and joined in the Coupon Code Wars -- by Honey. Between the money they saved me on my latest jersey purchase, and my love for a recently in the public domain cartoon bear, there's just no one else I trust in the coupon code field more than Honey. Check 'em out at JoinHoney.com/YKS, save some cash, and buy yourself a nice red shirt with no shorts underneath. They can't stop ya! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these podcasters from the swift completion of their appointed episodes! Just playing. If there was a bunch of heat or gloom we probably wouldn't do it. But there was a shitload of snow by Tennessee standards, and we still managed to turn on the computer and do our jobs. Incredible. On today's episode we're talking about, well, that dadgum post office demon Louis Dejoy, new seating concepts, copsucking comics, and as you can probably guess by looking at the title of the episode, air fryer apologia. All that and more on a very normal episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, yeahhhh, you're gonna wanna head over to YKS Premium. Jesseuary is starting to take shape, and you're gonna love it, but in the mean time, we got bonus episodes comin out the wazoo over there, and they are ready to download! Plus, our migration to YouTube is now complete, and your YKS Premium Video experience is smoother and more Googlier than ever before. Put the boys up on the big screen! Only at YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Factor. Granted, I live smack dab in the middle of flyover country, but I gotta say, when I sat down to lunch this week, Factor's Shrimp and Grits acquitted themselves pretty dadgum well. Only thing that was missing was a big fluffy beignet! Well that's because Factor is all about nutritious, pre-prepared meals ready to munch in about 2 minutes. Keto? Ke-yes! Order yourself a few weeks worth of nice hot lunches at go.factor75.com/plans and use code YKS120 for $120 off. Also sponsoring this week's episode? You already know what time it is. It's time to call or otherwise virtually interact with your licensed professional therapist in a safe, convenient, and comfortable environment! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The first episode of 2022. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, you're gonna want to download YKS Premium over on Patreon. This past month, YKS Premium listeners got some real treats as we released some heretofore paywalled crossover episodes with professional podcasts Howell Dawdy's Fast Track and The P.O.D. Kast. But now it's back to the YKS slop. Join us for more Kickstarters, more goofin' off, more lines of resolution, and well, more. Five bucks, Eight bucks, whatever ya got, as long as it's one of those two amounts of bucks, you're gonna get some content. Join the familia of YKS Premium.This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Holy guacamole, they got some good food there. And heck, maybe they've even got some of that guacamole I just mentioned a second ago. But don't worry, eating these avocados won't keep ya from getting a house. That's because they're FREE! As long as you use the promo code yourkickstartersucks16, you're gonna get 16 free meals plus 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com. 16 free meals...now that's what I call "an avocado-based dip, spread, or salad first developed in Mexico.[3] In addition to its use in modern Mexican cuisine, it has become part of international and American cuisine as a dip, condiment and salad ingredient"! On top of that, we've got our friends over at BetterHelp pitchin' in today. Hey thanks gang. I tell ya what's nice...getting a helping hand. Whether it's an alley-oop slam dunk for the swish slam...Two Points! Or something else, like a personal problem I guess. Or if you're depressed? But it's not about basketball for some reason? You can always ring up BetterHelp. Try 'em today and get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks. Score!And finally, it's Truebill! Something I just thought of: Truebill implies the existence of a Falsebill. Or Falsehillary. Whatever, talk about it in your joke workshop group dm. Point is, subscriptions you don't want anymore are a real pain in the keister. And you look at the credit card bill and it's all 1s and 0s and god knows what. Let's call in the experts. Let's get the commandos from Aliens in there, searching out all your unwanted subscriptions and eliminating them with extreme prejudice. Ok well they all died so we're gonna go with Truebill. But it'll be sick, I promise. Check it out for yourself at Truebill.com/YKS and save some money...and the galaxy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oppa still on Christmas Vacation style! The boys are back at it again with some YKS Premium Freemium content: an unearthed, probably-new-to-you classic, our interview (?) and Bloody Mary sesh with Birthday and Sloppy Boy Tim Kalpakis. Oh yeah, and there's a little bit extra from your boys thrown in there to sweeten the pot. Actually I just looked and it's like 30 extra minutes. We could have just done a new episode. Oh well. Pour 'em up and enjoy the show! And when you're done, click here to say why it's total bs we didn't do 30 more measly minutes to justify an all-new ep this week: Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksLook into the mirror, say "funny guest" three times, and what will appear? Writer and comedian Tim Kalpakis, of the Birthday Boys and Sloppy Boys, that's who! Tim pours us a couple of Bloody Marys and talks about some of our favorite topics: Bar Rescue, getting an MRI, and why Mike Mitchell is everybody's favorite. Plus, you know we had to get a former SNL writer (Lorne.) to help us punch up some JokeBlogger jokes! This is one hell of an ep, so pull up your barf bucket and get ready to laugh!Check out the Sloppy Boys podcast wherever you get your shit, and support them on Patreon for even more classic Sloppy Boys content. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oppa Christmas Vacation Style! We're taking a week off, but still couldn't let ya leave empty handed...so allow us to introduce, from behind the paywall, an absolute banger of an episode from this past Miketober. It's The Stuff with our friends the Doughboys! Wiger and Mitch join us for a classic rewatch of a scary marshmallow movie, guess some ice cream flavors (pretty badly if I recall), and much more. For new listeners, enjoy this episode ad-free and the rest of Miketober over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, and for those of you who have already heard this crap and hate our guts, please enjoy an all-new intro, outro, and yes, everyone's favorite part, advertisements. Music for Miketober is courtesy of Craig Dickman and Jesse Farrar. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer lola butt. Ads time! Well gang, since I'm one of those guys who can barely remember to zip up his fly on the way out the door, you know I ain't memorizing all 5,678 of my passwords. You know what I'm talking about? Well, good news on that front. No they didn't invent a new pill to fix our brain problems, but they did invent NordPass. That's just as good! And a hell of a lot cheaper, thanks to our sponsor: NordPass. Christmas is coming! It doesn't matter whether you've been naughty or nice, you still get 70% off NordPass Premium at NordPass.com/YKS or use a code yks. Plus you get an additional month for FREE! Also sponsoring today's show, it's BetterHelp. Welp! It's that time of year again...the time therapists call "the moneymaker". Yeah, it's getting pretty dark outside, but inside our brains, let's light up some dopamine receptors, take a page out of Pharrell's book, and become "happy" whilst talking to some licensed professional counselors. Ohhh baby! Now that's what I call, good to do. Get 10% your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Finally, you gotta give it up for the HelloFresh crew. 14 free meals, that sounds like me at Thanksgiving/Christmas/etc. Probably not Easter because honest to god who cares about Easter meals? Not me, and not HelloFresh. We won't be eating at Easter! Pass it on! And then, go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks14 and use code yourkickstartersucks14 for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! I just found a piece of dark chocolate sitting half melted on my trackpad. I really hope your gifts are better than that! It better be a new car! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Live from Nashville, Tennessee, it's YKS! That really could be what they're saying some day. Until then, of course, we simply have to march around our homes and say it ourselves. We have to say it to ourselves, to our pets, and we have to say it to the car warranty people who call us and make their phone numbers look like ours by borrowing the first 7 digits! But hopefully, someday, we can all know peace...when Mike and JF are the most famous people on the planet. But today is just as good! Because we've got an episode that hits all the big marks: The JF Position, living the Cone Life, and our worst xmas gifts. Plus, we're changing the sweeping paradigm with extreme advances in new combinatorial technology, solving the popcorn car problem once and for all, and finally figuring out how the hell freelancers are supposed to sit down. And not a moment too soon! I haven't gotten a W-2 form in like 7 years. My back hurts!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.We (clap) are (clap) Having (clap) doing (clap) bonus (clap)! Sorry the claps messed me up. For ad-free episodes, video eps, bonus mailbags and more, subscribe to YKS Premium on Patreon. And hey, a discounted annual sub would make a great holiday gift! For yourself, though. I don't think you can actually gift subs on there yet. I'm not in charge of that though!This week's YKS is sponsored by Honey. When it comes to a little guy who lives in your browser that knows coupon codes, I don't think anybody is doing it quite like Honey. Scratch this little feller on the chin, save a few bucks, and get that pesky holiday shopping out of the way all in one fell swoop. Wow, that's once nice swoop! Try em out for yourself: JoinHoney.com/YKSAlso sponsoring today's episode is BetterHelp. Give uncomfortable waiting rooms the double bird and talk to a pro, plus get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Finally, Episode 231 of YKS, that's right, this one, is brought to you by the dong wizards over at Manscaped. Check this out: Wouldn't it be nice to shave your privates, then the hair down there wouldn't be so long. Everybody knows what song that's a parody of, but we can't say it! That's the wacky US legal code for ya. Anyway, use code YKS20 for 20% off your order plus free shipping. Or pay full freight, up to you (easy choice)! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hear ye, hear ye! Well if it's anything like his last album, I think I'll pass! On today's programme, we're thumbing through Area Woman Magazine to read up on some Life Pro Tips, and we'll be talking about the guys I don't look like, which believe it or not, are all the wild and crazy and strange looking guys throughout history. Plus, we've got an update on using your balls like a penis, the shower routines of people who don't know how to shower, and finally figure out the right way to make a bicycle move around (shoot it??) It's one hell of a show, and I'm not just saying that because my livelihood depends on lots of people listening to it. I actually think it's good! And you can believe that because if you don't, Santa isn't coming this year. That's right...no presents!! And we LIKE those!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For a present you get yourself with no moral judgement from some omniscient (unelected!) arbiter, try YKS Premium. Wow, I wonder what's over there? Oh my god...is it bonus episodes of YKS, with video, and access to our Discord, and a bunch of other crazy crap? Yep. Probably so. And there's a mystery for you to solve over there too. Let us know if you solved the mystery. YKS Premium: Solve The Mystery. This week's YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Knock Knock, it's meals for you to eat! Duh!!! Get your fork, spoon, and all that other stuff you love so much and put it on a table or tray. Then, do all the other stuff you have to do to eat food. Then, simply eat the food. It's just that easy. If you wanna try it yourself, there ain't no better website to do it on besides HelloFresh.com/YourKickstarterSucks14 -- That's where you're gonna get your 14 free meals and free shipping, alright? HelloFresh. Just add forks.Also bringing you this week's episode: BetterHelp. Sick of waiting rooms? You know all the kind of stuff they have in there. What is that, a table? Good lord you have to be joking me. It's 2021. And these guys are still on their table bs. Well you can miss me with that. I'll be over here in a virtual waiting room, with no tables whatsoever. Just me and my keyboard. And mouse, obviously. And it's sitting on a desk. Which is not a table! I swear!! Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp, with absolutely no tables, at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Monday morning! Quite possibly the worst time of the week, many were saying, until the saints and kings of YKS Inc. altered their release schedule to give us all a pep in our step. Thank God for those perfect souls! Today on the show, fate smiles upon us once again as the boys are talking Rob Rigglin', the Mither Beath Borger, and the Great Toast Rant. Plus, we got souls of inanimate objects to look at, new innovations in the butter shape space, and European guys hopping around in their living rooms for whatever reason. It's enough reason to hop in your time machine and listen to this episode over and over again. But you gotta start right now! Or else Mike wins!For more YKS this hall of daze season, you're gonna want to head on over to YKS Premium. There's so much extras over there you know we had to fix you a plate. Scoot your butt over there for exclusive video, bonus episodes, merch discounts, and more! This past week on YKS Premium, we once again locked horns with our listeners in a new edition of YKS Live! To Tape, our semi-regular call-in show. And this week, the monthly mailbag returns! We do it every month, which is insane. But we love it. And more importantly, we are contractually obligated to perform by §17.1a.98b.311 "The Law Of Comedy". This episode of YKS is brought to you by Manscaped. Make Santa proud when he's looking at your penis area! Use code YKS20 at checkout for 20% off and free shipping. Now that's what I call a bowlful of jelly!Also sponsoring this week's show: NordVPN. Sometimes you can make streaming services you live somewhere else, and pay less money to use them! Is that of value to you? Well, it is to me. And that's why I locked up NordVPN for 2 years. I will be reaping these rewards into 2023 and so too should you. Get up to 73% off a 2 year plan plus a bonus gift at NordVPN.com/yks. Finally, YKS is supported by BetterHelp. It ain't the holiday season without some good old fashioned cognitive behavioral therapy or what have you. Kiss the uncomfortable waiting room goodbye and stay however comfortable you are in your own home, with BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS and tell therapy JF and DB sent ya. Well, not like that! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.