Your Kickstarter Sucks

Wow! It's already Episode 239, what a milestone! To celebrate the momentous occasion, we decided to do something different...we made this one funny. That's right, we packed this baby to the brim with jokes, goofs, gaffes, and gags, and if you don't double over laughing out of both ends by the time this one is through, we will refund you every damn dollar you've ever paid to listen to our (free episodes only, and actually not even those) show. On this week's episode, we two G.U.Y.s come up with some new twists on classic comics, smell a mummy, and meet a new friend, Mr. $10,000! Plus we got the latest Superman flick (looks good!), a novel way to deal with little buggy guys, and the most politically confusing BBQ sauce we've ever seen. All that and more, again free of charge so no one can get too mad about it, only on YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.***W@W! L@@K! Jesseuary continues over at YKS Premium! Who ya gonna call? Well, this Friday it'll be our friend from Secret Base, Kofie Yeboah, answering the call, and we'll be talking all about the one Ghostbusters movie everyone can agree pissed the most people off. Except me! I loved it.***Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks: Athletic Greens AG1 Ah! I love the smell of adaptogens in the morning. And AG1 is the best (maybe only, as far as I know) way to get em into a tasty green powder. Plus it's gonna run ya less than 3 bucks a day to get all those vitamins our body is obsessed with for some reason. 3 bucks, what's that...you probably spend that on tissues and paper clips. Make the switch and get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/YKS. Honey! The coupon code field at checkout...it can be your friend or your foe. And at the end of the day, it's really up to them. But if you need an ally in battle, and also the spoils of victory are something like getting $12 off a cool hat, then I think you should link up with our friends at Honey. Try 'em out now at JoinHoney.com/YKS and send that coupon code field back to hell!HelloFresh! We all know the feeling...eating food?? Again??? Good god, man. I just did that yesterday! Well, look, it may be kind of annoying to take care of yourself and whatnot, but if there's an easier way to get some pretty good tasting and fresh food in your hole than HelloFresh I don't know about it. Get up to 16 free meals by going to HelloFresh.com/YourKickstarterSucks16 and eat some broccoli and stuff. It's good. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Well well well, if it isn't the thing I'm doing while the Super Bowl is on in the background...the episode description! On today's show we're smoking on that Grandma Weed, planning out the forthcoming Willisbember, and telling Deer Park where they can shove their so-called "shitty ass water bottle caps". Plus, we got a way to make drinking booze straight out of the bottle feel even grosser, a way to make smoking weed extremely uncool, and a way to make folding socks, uh, exactly as fun as it already was. How do they do it, folks? Through the power of Jesus Christ! Just kidding. It's from freakin $6 coffee that tastes like shit and has 4000000mg of sugar in it! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Do something nice for yourself this Valentine's Day...subscribe to YKS Premium! Jesseuary has yet to disappoint, and if it has, I don't know about it because I refuse to listen to criticism! This week on the show we welcome first time guest Griffin Newman to the program and pray to God he likes the best movie we've ever done for Jesseuary: Edge of Tomorrow! This is one day you won't mind repeating, so head over to Patreon today and drop $5 on it!This episode of YKS is brought to you by the following BELOVED sponsors: NordVPN! The internet just ain't the internet without NordVPN. Go to NordVPN.com/YKS for a free month and gift, courtesy of your friends Mike and JF. And also the NordVPN guys but we had 'em put a special "Mike and JF" stank on it. Enjoy. Truebill! Is your ex still paying for your Netflix? Well, it's that special day for lovers, so I don't know. Maybe something good will happen? Let 'em do it for like one more day, just to be sure, and then head over to Truebill.com/yks to get those subscriptions under control. Factor! Now you know me gang, I love to put food in my mouth. But what if it was healthy? Could that work? Well, Factor thinks it can. And I gotta say, they hit the nail on the head with this stuff. I gotta get more of those Keto shakes, good golly! Try those and a lot more awesome grub, plus get $120 off at go.FACTOR75.com/yks120 BetterHelp! We hate waiting rooms so much. They make us sick to our very stomachs! And BetterHelp decided, you know what, we hate those freakin' things too. Get 'em outta here! So they did. Get 10% off your first month of the future of counseling at betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Listen up dirtbags! It's time for another YKS. Oh yeah and by the way, you aren't dirtbags. You're actually the closest things we have to friends! And you mean a lot to us, you fucking dirtbags! Fuck you! On today's show, which must have been pretty funny because I did not have time to write down what was going on while we were recording it, we've got a NEW way of signing your name that doesn't make you look like an uneducated oaf, a $200 shoe you can never hoop in, somehow another poker thing, and the latest from the guy who came up with throwing the burrito around and whatever the blowing up kittens game is. Sounds like it was probably around a B+ episode, maybe less. Not bad!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Good news, everyone! (Futurama) Jesseuary continues over at YKS Premium! This week, we've got our friend Libby Watson on to solve the mysterious case of...some other Watson?? That's right, 221b Baker Street is getting YKS-ified as we take on Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes! Get the video of all our Jesseuary eps, so you can see Mike getting mad at the progressively longer theme songs I make to annoy him, on Patreon.Check out Libby's indispensable healthcare newsletter at Sicknote.co. Indispensable would be a good name for it if she ever wants to change it up. But she probably won't... Today's YKS is sponsored by these fine folks: NordVPN - Damn! The computer has no freakin' idea what country I'm in. And it's all thanks to NordVPN, our partners in the world of making the computer think you're in a different place than what you are. Check 'em out at nordvpn.com/YKS or use the code YKS to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 1 additional month for free!HelloFresh - I've heard of acting fresh...but EATING fresh? Well I reckon there's a first time for everything. Or in this case, maybe 16 first times....wink! What the HELL am I talking about? Well why don't ya mosey on over to hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts to find out...Codecademy - Ya know, I've always wanted to improve myself. But actually that's like really hard and stuff so I probably won't. What I can do, however, is learn a new skill...like programming! And when I do, I'll use promo code YKS at Codecademy.com to get 15% off Codecademy Pro, the ONLY way to code!BetterHelp - Mental health...100%. That's what you wanna see on the health bar gang. Promo code YKS will get you 10% off your first month so dump it in there at BetterHelp.com/YKS and kiss your brain for us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Somebody said "There's a new episode of YKS!" lol. lmao. On today's show we're going full on Parent Mode with a look at a Christian comic book hero that could finally save the day, a new game of poker that might be able to do the same thing, and of course, some tarot cards with Eminem on them. Right twix...left twix...it really don't matter which side you're on, as long as you're armed with the shield of truth, the knowledge of how to make a website, and some vitamins you can drink. Hell, I don't know if you're gonna like it or not but at least there's some C-3PO in it. It's a new YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Say it with me now: It's Jesseuary time! That's right, gang. Our annual celebration of the best/worst Hollywood has to offer has begun, and the only place to get it is at YKS Premium. This week we're joined by our friends Tom Walker and Demi Lardner of bigsofttitty.png, and we're watchin' The Mummy (2017)! Head on over to Redbox and grab a copy, then subscribe to YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and we'll bring the popcorn! (I actually don't like popcorn that much but I'll have like 4 bites of yours if that's ok). Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by Athletic Greens AG1. Wow! There's so many dadgum vitamins and adaptogens in this sucker I gotta wonder if Dr. Jeykll himself invented it! But this stuff won't turn you into a monster...it'll give you some energy and help your guts. Not bad. Hey Russell Crowe, check this mess out. In fact, whether you're a membe 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts or not, you can get 1 a year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 travel packs of AG1 with your first purchase with our promo code. Check it out at AthleticGreens.com/YKSAlso sponsoring this week's show: Codecademy. You know that thing you look at your damn emails on every day? Yeah, the one with all the crazy posts? Well turns out there's folks out there what know how to make it "get up and go!" And you can too. Whether it's python, java, or any of the other good computer languages to know, Codecademy is the place to learn 'em. Get 15% off your Codecademy Pro membership when you go to Codecademy.com and use promo code YKS. Right now!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more of the stuff is over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Bummer, right? Believe me, if there were another way to go about it, I'd be the FIRST one to tell you. But right now, as it stands, any YKS fan in need of a few extra laughs simply must pony up a nominal amount of dough for access to YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Truebill. I've been seeing these commercials lately, and the guy who came up with Truebill says he hasn't looked at his credit card bill in a long time. Well he's probably pretty busy and honestly ya know what, they do put a lot of lines on there with all the numbers and crap. Who knows what's on there! That's somebody else's problem. Tell ya what, if you'd like to save a few bucks without the hassle of the whole envelope rigamarole, check 'em out at Truebill.com/YKS.Also hookin it up BIG TIME on this episode? Athletic Greens! You know how I feel about tropical flavors. I am absolutely wild for them, whether it's in my cup or in my mouth. And when those AG1 adaptogens go to town on my gut health...that's when I know it's time to take on my to-do list (normally it's like, eat some lunch or something). Put your guts on notice and get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs of AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/YKS. Finally, this portion of the episode description bloc just wouldn't be this portion of the episode description bloc without BetterHelp. You know, I think it would look kinda cool if they stylized it like this: betterhelp. Just kind of a casual way of doing it. Research indicates this would appeal to...millennials. Or whatever the good one is now. But that's above my pay grade quite honestly and I'm just the amazingly talented, charismatic ad copy in the episode description bloc guy. And now for my speciality, the call to action. Try betterhelp out today and get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this week's YKS, we attempt to reconstruct what the show was about despite apparently throwing away the show notes, or maybe never even writing anything down in the first place. Oh wait. That's what I'm doing right NOW!!! Well if you go back and look at the sheet we write out before recording, it looks like we revisited the perfect work-from-home Kickstarter with fresh eyes, which I thought was a smart angle for this. And then we do 6 Kickstarters of course. There's a nasty game for nerds on there, there's a Trump thing, a scam, and a useless niche product designed by a space alien. Plus, we decide what kind of store we would be if we were going to be a store. Dollars to donuts there's some good riffs in here too...but don't take my word for it. Listen to my words! Of it! (By downloading the show now.)Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon. That's basically where we do all kinds of crazy cool stuff and go nutty with it. Also there's no ads, which is a great thing or a bad thing depending on who you ask. Probably the more important thing is the hundreds of hours of bonus content and dozens (so far!) of video episodes which will just damn fall into your damn lap once you fork over the cash. Wow...listening stuff and now seeing stuff as well...YKS Premium is truly a feast for the senses! This week's YKS is sponsored by Manscaped. Help your penis look better for Valentime's Day with Manscaped. Get 20% off plus free shipping when you use our code YKS 20. When you do that, you're supporting the show and your penis. So imagine the meme from Predator with the two guy shaking hands, and one of them says Penis and the other one says YKS and then in the middle it says Support. Or maybe it says YKS20. Whichever you want. Just send me the meme and I'll look at it and let you know.Listen to your favorite podcast and cook up tasty, easy-to-prep meals! That's what it says on the website for HelloFresh when you click on it. And hell, I'm inclined to agree. The only thing that would make it better is getting up to 15 free meals and 2 free gifts. But you already know that since I'm there, it's actually gonna be 16 free meals and 3 free gifts with the code yourkickstartersucks16. Wow! I made them offer the deal! Well if you know me, you know I'm always thinking about my gut health. But I hate munching big handful of vit of mins. Drinking some good tasting green water though? Yeah I can handle that. And so can you, probably, with Athletic Greens. Get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.Finally, YKS is sponsored -- and joined in the Coupon Code Wars -- by Honey. Between the money they saved me on my latest jersey purchase, and my love for a recently in the public domain cartoon bear, there's just no one else I trust in the coupon code field more than Honey. Check 'em out at JoinHoney.com/YKS, save some cash, and buy yourself a nice red shirt with no shorts underneath. They can't stop ya! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these podcasters from the swift completion of their appointed episodes! Just playing. If there was a bunch of heat or gloom we probably wouldn't do it. But there was a shitload of snow by Tennessee standards, and we still managed to turn on the computer and do our jobs. Incredible. On today's episode we're talking about, well, that dadgum post office demon Louis Dejoy, new seating concepts, copsucking comics, and as you can probably guess by looking at the title of the episode, air fryer apologia. All that and more on a very normal episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, yeahhhh, you're gonna wanna head over to YKS Premium. Jesseuary is starting to take shape, and you're gonna love it, but in the mean time, we got bonus episodes comin out the wazoo over there, and they are ready to download! Plus, our migration to YouTube is now complete, and your YKS Premium Video experience is smoother and more Googlier than ever before. Put the boys up on the big screen! Only at YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Factor. Granted, I live smack dab in the middle of flyover country, but I gotta say, when I sat down to lunch this week, Factor's Shrimp and Grits acquitted themselves pretty dadgum well. Only thing that was missing was a big fluffy beignet! Well that's because Factor is all about nutritious, pre-prepared meals ready to munch in about 2 minutes. Keto? Ke-yes! Order yourself a few weeks worth of nice hot lunches at go.factor75.com/plans and use code YKS120 for $120 off. Also sponsoring this week's episode? You already know what time it is. It's time to call or otherwise virtually interact with your licensed professional therapist in a safe, convenient, and comfortable environment! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The first episode of 2022. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, you're gonna want to download YKS Premium over on Patreon. This past month, YKS Premium listeners got some real treats as we released some heretofore paywalled crossover episodes with professional podcasts Howell Dawdy's Fast Track and The P.O.D. Kast. But now it's back to the YKS slop. Join us for more Kickstarters, more goofin' off, more lines of resolution, and well, more. Five bucks, Eight bucks, whatever ya got, as long as it's one of those two amounts of bucks, you're gonna get some content. Join the familia of YKS Premium.This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Holy guacamole, they got some good food there. And heck, maybe they've even got some of that guacamole I just mentioned a second ago. But don't worry, eating these avocados won't keep ya from getting a house. That's because they're FREE! As long as you use the promo code yourkickstartersucks16, you're gonna get 16 free meals plus 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com. 16 free meals...now that's what I call "an avocado-based dip, spread, or salad first developed in Mexico.[3] In addition to its use in modern Mexican cuisine, it has become part of international and American cuisine as a dip, condiment and salad ingredient"! On top of that, we've got our friends over at BetterHelp pitchin' in today. Hey thanks gang. I tell ya what's nice...getting a helping hand. Whether it's an alley-oop slam dunk for the swish slam...Two Points! Or something else, like a personal problem I guess. Or if you're depressed? But it's not about basketball for some reason? You can always ring up BetterHelp. Try 'em today and get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks. Score!And finally, it's Truebill! Something I just thought of: Truebill implies the existence of a Falsebill. Or Falsehillary. Whatever, talk about it in your joke workshop group dm. Point is, subscriptions you don't want anymore are a real pain in the keister. And you look at the credit card bill and it's all 1s and 0s and god knows what. Let's call in the experts. Let's get the commandos from Aliens in there, searching out all your unwanted subscriptions and eliminating them with extreme prejudice. Ok well they all died so we're gonna go with Truebill. But it'll be sick, I promise. Check it out for yourself at Truebill.com/YKS and save some money...and the galaxy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oppa still on Christmas Vacation style! The boys are back at it again with some YKS Premium Freemium content: an unearthed, probably-new-to-you classic, our interview (?) and Bloody Mary sesh with Birthday and Sloppy Boy Tim Kalpakis. Oh yeah, and there's a little bit extra from your boys thrown in there to sweeten the pot. Actually I just looked and it's like 30 extra minutes. We could have just done a new episode. Oh well. Pour 'em up and enjoy the show! And when you're done, click here to say why it's total bs we didn't do 30 more measly minutes to justify an all-new ep this week: Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksLook into the mirror, say "funny guest" three times, and what will appear? Writer and comedian Tim Kalpakis, of the Birthday Boys and Sloppy Boys, that's who! Tim pours us a couple of Bloody Marys and talks about some of our favorite topics: Bar Rescue, getting an MRI, and why Mike Mitchell is everybody's favorite. Plus, you know we had to get a former SNL writer (Lorne.) to help us punch up some JokeBlogger jokes! This is one hell of an ep, so pull up your barf bucket and get ready to laugh!Check out the Sloppy Boys podcast wherever you get your shit, and support them on Patreon for even more classic Sloppy Boys content. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Oppa Christmas Vacation Style! We're taking a week off, but still couldn't let ya leave empty handed...so allow us to introduce, from behind the paywall, an absolute banger of an episode from this past Miketober. It's The Stuff with our friends the Doughboys! Wiger and Mitch join us for a classic rewatch of a scary marshmallow movie, guess some ice cream flavors (pretty badly if I recall), and much more. For new listeners, enjoy this episode ad-free and the rest of Miketober over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, and for those of you who have already heard this crap and hate our guts, please enjoy an all-new intro, outro, and yes, everyone's favorite part, advertisements. Music for Miketober is courtesy of Craig Dickman and Jesse Farrar. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer lola butt. Ads time! Well gang, since I'm one of those guys who can barely remember to zip up his fly on the way out the door, you know I ain't memorizing all 5,678 of my passwords. You know what I'm talking about? Well, good news on that front. No they didn't invent a new pill to fix our brain problems, but they did invent NordPass. That's just as good! And a hell of a lot cheaper, thanks to our sponsor: NordPass. Christmas is coming! It doesn't matter whether you've been naughty or nice, you still get 70% off NordPass Premium at NordPass.com/YKS or use a code yks. Plus you get an additional month for FREE! Also sponsoring today's show, it's BetterHelp. Welp! It's that time of year again...the time therapists call "the moneymaker". Yeah, it's getting pretty dark outside, but inside our brains, let's light up some dopamine receptors, take a page out of Pharrell's book, and become "happy" whilst talking to some licensed professional counselors. Ohhh baby! Now that's what I call, good to do. Get 10% your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Finally, you gotta give it up for the HelloFresh crew. 14 free meals, that sounds like me at Thanksgiving/Christmas/etc. Probably not Easter because honest to god who cares about Easter meals? Not me, and not HelloFresh. We won't be eating at Easter! Pass it on! And then, go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks14 and use code yourkickstartersucks14 for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! I just found a piece of dark chocolate sitting half melted on my trackpad. I really hope your gifts are better than that! It better be a new car! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.