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The Leadership Podcast

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Oct 2, 2024 • 28min

TLP428: What Makes A Good Leadership Book with Jim and Jan

Jim Vaselopulos and Jan Rutherford discuss what makes a great leadership book including the value of storytelling in making concepts relatable for the audience. They also discuss the importance of evidence-based concepts, and the significance of lasting and practical advice that transcends time. The best leadership books aren't necessarily leadership books. “The books that help you most are those which make you think the most. The hardest way of learning is that of easy reading. But a great book that comes from a great thinker is a ship of thought, deep braided with truth and beauty. ” —  Pablo Neruda      Key Takeaways [02:06] Jim and Jan discuss what makes a great leadership book, preferring evidence-based works over parables. Jim values data-driven insights, while Jan appreciates storytelling for its lasting impact, noting that different styles resonate with different readers. [06:18] They both share that a great leadership book should offer practical, timeless advice, with a preference for shorter, more digestible formats. [12:49] Jim and Jan discuss how to write impactful leadership books. They said Jennifer Garvey Berger found success by simplifying her content and making it more engaging. They emphasize the importance of practical advice, real-world applications, and effective storytelling. They also appreciate niche topics that offer fresh insights, like Valerie Friedland's work on linguistics.  [17:13] They both highlight the need to balance employee and employer perspectives in leadership. They emphasize that effective leadership involves not just setting direction and pace but also considering the tone and impact on people. [21:34] Jan highlights the value of being open to changing one’s views and learning from diverse sources. He also concludes with a story about historian Stephen Ambrose advising a young aspiring historian to gain real-world experience. [23:56] They discuss the value of curiosity in leadership and suggest that a good leadership book should inspire curiosity in its readers. They reflect on their own experiences with writing and invite listeners to share their favorite books and ideas for future topics.  [27:17] Closing quote: Remember, “The books that help you most are those which make you think the most. The hardest way of learning is that of easy reading. But a great book that comes from a great thinker is a ship of thought, deep braided with truth and beauty. ” —  Pablo Neruda    Quotable Quotes "A useful outcome of any leadership book is does it make you more curious? And if it does, to some degree, mission accomplished." “The best leadership books aren't necessarily leadership books."​ "If you're talking about leadership, you better be facing your own hypocrisy because nobody's got it all figured out ever." “Those leaders constantly test themselves and reframe their life story.” "Different things speak to different people."​ “A new way to communicate an idea is always interesting in a leadership book but it also needs to last." “The books that help you most are those which make you think the most. The hardest way of learning is that of easy reading. But a great book that comes from a great thinker is a ship of thought, deep braided with truth and beauty. ” —  Pablo Neruda    Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Jan Rutherford’s Linked In | Jan Rutherford’s Twitter | Jim Vaselopulos Linked In | Jim Vaselopulos Twitter |
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Sep 25, 2024 • 34min

TLP427: Finding Significance through Challenges, Work and Love with Michelle Hollingshead

Michelle Hollingshead is an entrepreneur, author of “Meaning Indicator: Finding Significance through Challenge, Work, and Love.” Michelle delves into the power of vulnerability, inspired by her personal experiences and the loss of her brother post-9/11. Her book echoes Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, focusing on resilience and intentionality. She stresses the importance of choice and compassion through life's trials.  Michelle explores the delicate balance between challenge and care in coaching, highlighting that love can coexist with direct feedback. She emphasizes that true love involves nurturing potential and moving on when necessary.  Michelle introduces the concept of "and" from her book, which helps manage life's complexities, and reflects on her mother's influence and the need to balance professional ambitions with family life.  Michelle discusses leadership and personal growth, emphasizing the balance between results and relationships and the evolution from command-and-control to inspiring participation. Michelle shares insights into how life stages influence leadership perspectives and her journey as an empty nester exploring new directions.     Key Takeaways [01:44] Michelle discusses embracing vulnerability, influenced by personal experiences and the loss of her brother after 9/11. Her book, "Meaning Indicator: Finding Significance through Challenge, Work, and Love," inspired by Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning," explores resilience and intentionality. Michelle emphasizes the power of choice and compassion in life's challenges. [07:06] Michelle discusses the balance between challenge and care in her coaching experience, emphasizing love as caring for oneself, others, and the world. She explains that love in the workplace can coexist with honest, direct feedback and that sometimes the most loving action is for both parties to move on. Michelle highlights that love is about helping others realize their potential. Jim references a past guest who noted the Greek language's multiple words for love, aligning with Michelle's view of love as deep, honorable caring. Michelle's research on meaning in life revealed people often discuss challenges more than love, though they rank love higher in surveys. [17:40] Michelle explains the concept of "and" from her book, highlighting how it helps navigate life's complexities. She acknowledges those motivated by work and solving problems but also notes the tension when work overshadows other aspects of life. Michelle shares how her mother's passion for programming influenced her, wishing she had shared this passion when they were younger.  [19:16] Michelle discusses her research on the "greater good" archetype from Carolyn Taylor's work, highlighting how leaders navigate competing stakeholder needs and make thoughtful trade-offs. Jim raised an interesting point about the tension between significance and happiness, referencing his observations from different cultures. This sparked a discussion on how meaningfulness often involves stress and contemplation, while happiness focuses on satisfying basic desires. Jan shared an inspiring story about Jim's leadership during a challenging expedition in Patagonia, emphasizing how he thrives under pressure and excels at delegating.  [22:53] Michelle dives into the intricacies of leadership and personal growth, emphasizes the balance between results and relationships in leadership, noting the evolution from command-and-control to inspiring willing participation. Michelle reflects on the importance of understanding what drives individuals, highlighting the dynamic nature of personal motivations. They discuss the transformative impact of life stages, such as becoming parents or empty nesters, on leadership perspectives. Michelle shares her journey of balancing professional ambitions with family life, and now, as an empty nester, she explores new personal and professional directions. [28:29] Michelle shares how her father-in-law, Mickey, impacted her life. Despite his cancer diagnosis, Mickey was at peace, reflecting on his great life and embodying leadership through results and relationships. Michelle felt grateful to capture and share his life through this process. [31:33] Michelle reflects on the significance of her book, emphasizing that the things that matter most now are the same as those that will matter in the end. Michelle notes that her book is a short read, perfect for recalibrating during a plane flight. Jim and Jan express their gratitude for Michelle's insights and the opportunity to have her on the show. [32:34] And remember, Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself  - Viktor E. Frankl   Quotable Quotes "Leaders go first. I need to be doing my best to walk my walk and role model." "People don’t need my perfectionism. They need my compassion." "Sometimes the most loving thing is for everyone to move forward." "The word I chose for love was caring for self, others, and our world." "Seeing that aliveness in people who are passionate about what they do is very compelling." "Widen the lens, and just having that awareness." "Challenge, work, and love are ways people find significance in life." "Even as an empty nester, I'm reorienting myself to my own relationship with work and discovering new focuses." "The things that matter most in the end are what matter most today. This is an opportunity to reconnect with what is significant for you."   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Michelle Hollingshead Website | Michelle Hollingshead LinkedIn | Michelle Hollingshead Instagram | This is the book mentioned in this episode
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Sep 18, 2024 • 43min

TLP426: Closing The Confidence Gap with Kelli Thompson

Kelli Thompson is an award-winning leadership and executive coach, keynote speaker, and the critically-acclaimed author of “Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck.” In Kelli’s two-decade career leading teams in primarily male-dominated industries, she received industry awards for her ability to build programs that cultivated the pipeline of future leaders. Kelli explores how both women and men give away their power. She critiques outdated definitions of executive presence based on masculine norms and advocates for a more individual-focused approach. Kelli shares insights on balancing authenticity with professional expectations, including dress codes, and introduces her “Situational Savviness Matrix” for effective communication. She offers advice on salary negotiations and determining if it’s time to leave a situation by evaluating values, skills, and energy. Kelli previews her upcoming TED talk on the dangers of idolizing leaders and how it stifles personal intuition and leads to corporate issues. She concludes by defining confidence as trusting yourself despite fear.     Key Takeaways [02:53] Kelli shared that she's a certified storm spotter and originally wanted to be a meteorologist. She studied meteorology in college but decided against the career due to its demands. Kelli also discusses weather prediction, comparing it to leadership. She notes that while we can't control circumstances, having the right tools is essential.  [06:54] Kelli explores how people give away their power, often by not knowing what they stand for. She shares her own experience of following others’ advice, which led to an unfulfilling career and personal life. Kelli emphasizes the need to define your values and have the courage to say no to anything that doesn’t align with them, inspired by the Hamilton quote: "If you don’t know what you stand for, what will you fall for?" [09:10] Kelli discusses how women might give away their power by saying "yes" to fit in or climb the ladder, while men might do so by suppressing traits that don’t fit traditional norms. She highlights that men who are empathetic or collaborative may struggle with their careers and personal well-being when they hide these qualities. [10:40] Kelli discusses helping clients find clarity by focusing on core values. She starts with core values and works to define non-negotiables and how they want to be perceived. Kelli uses tools like the Enneagram to uncover motivations and blind spots, helping clients identify strengths and talents. This clarity leads to better decision-making and confidence. Kelli also shares the inspiration behind her Clarity and Confidence Women’s Leadership Program, created to provide tools and strategies for overcoming systemic challenges and personal doubts. [15:55] Kelli explores the outdated definitions of executive presence often based on traditional masculine norms. She notes that the modern workplace, created by men for men, still reflects these old standards. Kelli advocates for redefining executive presence to honor individual styles and values. She shares her experience of balancing directness with respect and love, showing how to align personal authenticity with effective leadership. [18:27] Kelli discusses the challenge of balancing authenticity with professional expectations, especially regarding dress codes. She recounts her experiences from banking and pharma, where strict dress codes were enforced. Kelli suggests evaluating if you can conform to an organization's dress code before joining. She stresses that while organizations may prefer certain behaviors, the real focus should be on whether these behaviors drive results. Kelli also explains that executive presence often relates more to building relationships and influencing others than to superficial standards. [22:40] Kelli explores the role of adaptability in executive presence, stressing that what works in one region may not in another. Kelli shares her experience with phone sales, where directness didn’t work in the South, and introduces her “Situational Savviness Matrix” to balance directness and politeness. She concludes that executive presence is broad, and focusing on specific behaviors is more effective than the general term. [25:58] Kelli explores salary negotiations. Kelli stressed the value of "situational savviness" and detailed how employees should prepare by gathering salary data, quantifying accomplishments, and making a clear ask. She noted that raises may take time and require approvals. Kelli discusses the courage needed to handle requests and the option to set specific performance goals for future raises.  [30:45] Kelli discusses the crucial questions to ask when deciding if it's time to quit something. She outlines key questions to ask before quitting: Is this situation aligned with my values? Is it using my best skills? How does it affect my energy levels? Is it moving me closer to the leader I want to become? If many answers are negative, it might be time to quit. She also explores why people stay in toxic environments, highlighting fear of regret and the unknown. Kelli advises making informed decisions by asking tough questions and understanding your values before making a move. [36:51] Kelli previews her upcoming TED Talk, set to address the harms of putting people on pedestals. She explains how idolizing leaders based on experience or charisma stifles personal ideas and intuition, leads to corporate scandals, and creates feedback gaps. Scheduled for November at Creighton University, her talk will be about ten minutes long and available online in February 2025. [40:27] Kelli Thompson talks about the performance element in leadership and how being intentional about how people feel when led is crucial. She defines confidence as the ability to trust yourself and act despite feeling nervous. Kelli challenges listeners to take one tiny step towards a goal while feeling terrified, as confidence comes from taking action.  [42:28] Closing quote: And remember, I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is to be on my own side. Be an advocate for myself and others like me.  —  Maya Angelou   Quotable Quotes "A big part of not giving our power away is defining what we stand for and having the courage to say no to everything that isn’t that." "Showing up in a way that honors our unique approach but also honors our values is key to aligning with the type of leader we want to become." "The strongest arguments for salary increases always include market research, demonstrated performance, and a clear ask." "Sometimes the hell you know feels more comfortable than the hell you don’t." "We don’t change until the pain of our current circumstances outweighs the fear of the unknown." "Confidence is the ability to trust yourself and to take action on that. The actions of confidence come first; feelings of confidence come second." "Leaders become jerks because they don’t get the feedback they need. We put them on a pedestal and silence our ideas." "You have to do the thing while also feeling nervous. Confidence is a side effect of taking action."   These are the books mentioned in our discussion with Kelli   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Kelli Thompson Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter) |
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Sep 11, 2024 • 39min

TLP425: How to Build a Work Culture that Maximizes Your Impact with Jaime Taets

Jaime Taets, CEO and founder of Keystone Group International, and author of "You Are Here" and "The Culture Climb" discusses the challenges of leading in a post-pandemic world, highlighting the importance of conscious leadership, and adapting to constant change. Jaime emphasizes the need for leaders to create cultures that value strengths and impact, prepare for ongoing changes, and foster environments where employees feel connected to the organization's purpose. She also addresses the generational shifts in the workforce and the significance of managing change effectively.     Key Takeaways [03:51] Jaime discusses the current dire state of workplace culture as a result of a perfect storm of factors accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic. She explains that declining employee engagement, which had been gradually worsening for over two decades, was amplified by the pandemic, forcing companies to rapidly adapt to shifting employee values and priorities. This exposed their unpreparedness for the dramatic changes in the workforce.  [05:52] She talks about leaders struggling to cope with increased pressure and uncertainty, while lacking the necessary skills to inspire and motivate their teams. Simultaneously, she states that employees are disengaged and unclear about the organization's direction.  [08:23] She believes organizations struggle to meet conflicting employee demands and different generations have varying expectations, making it challenging to please everyone. She argues that ineffective leadership is a root cause, with many leaders promoted based on performance rather than leadership skills.  [12:45] Jaime says organizations struggle with rapid change and differing employee needs. She also stated that poor leadership, often prioritizing performance over people skills, hinders progress. [19:33] Jaime believes resilience is the cornerstone of strong leadership. Overcoming challenges, rather than being deterred by them, shapes individuals into effective leaders. She also says societal pressures often hinder personal growth, but a mindset shift is crucial to view obstacles as opportunities for development.  [27:35] Jaime believes social media, while initially beneficial, now negatively impacts mental health by fostering unrealistic comparisons. This leads to a longing for a simpler life, reminiscent of past eras.  [32:19] Jaime shares her personal journey of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro inspired by her upcoming book, "Surviving Greatness." The book explores the challenges of achieving success and the subsequent need for personal growth. [37:54] Closing quote: Remember, “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. ” —  Lao Tzu   Quotable Quotes "Culture is the leader's choice." “Our cultures cannot thrive and produce the business results that we're looking for if our leaders don't know how to manage their own energy."​ "Everyone has a story, and we're more similar than we are different."​ "The most successful people have had the hardest roads going there."​ "The comparison issue is just absolutely robbing us of living our lives and what makes us happy." "If you don't shift your own perspective, it's really going to be someone else who tells you what your perspective should be."  "We haven't given leaders the time or space to learn how to lead like that."  “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. ” —  Lao Tzu   These are the books mentioned in our discussion with Jaime   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Jaime Taets’s LinkedIn | Jaime Taets’s Website | Jaime Taets’s Instagram |
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Sep 4, 2024 • 38min

TLP424: The Mentally Strong Leader with Scott Mautz

Scott Mautz, author of "The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors," defines and describes what it is to be a mentally strong leader. Scott defines mental strength as the ability to remain calm, in control, and intentional, contrasting it with signs of mental weakness. He emphasized the importance of managing emotions and being intentional in leadership, adapting flexibly to different situations. Throughout the discussion, Scott highlighted tools from his book aimed at improving leadership effectiveness and managing expectations. He also touched on the impact of coaching on mental strength development and navigating societal changes affecting workplace dynamics.     Key Takeaways [03:18] Scott revealed a surprising detail about his past: he did stand-up comedy in college and grad school for beer money, almost professionally. However, he chose to follow his passion for leadership instead of pursuing comedy full-time. Scott integrates humor into his leadership style, using it to lighten the mood, diffuse tension, and unite people. He believes that "the shortest distance between two people is laughter." [04:52] Scott discusses his book "The Mentally Strong Leader" defining mental strength as the ability to remain calm, in control, and intentional. He contrasts this with signs of mental weakness, emphasizing that lacking these qualities indicates low mental strength. [06:05] Scott explores how intentionality in leadership can be a delicate balance, noting that being overly intentional may lead to tone-deafness, while lacking intentionality can result in uninspired leadership. He emphasizes that mental strength includes managing emotions and approaching work with intention, adapting flexibly to meet the demands of different situations. [07:21] Scott identifies signs of mental weakness in leaders and defines mental strength as the capacity to manage emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively during challenges. He emphasizes self-awareness and self-regulation as crucial for leadership, impacting organizational outcomes. Jim adds that effective leaders balance being demanding and inspirational, setting clear expectations while promoting positivity and realism. Scott agrees, emphasizing tools from his book, "The Mentally Strong Leader," for effective expectation management. [15:48] Scott draws an analogy between mental muscles and physical muscles, akin to a workout regimen. His mental strength self-questionnaire offers a personalized score, highlighting strengths and areas for improvement in mental muscles such as boldness and decision-making. This tool supports leaders in maintaining balance and commitment to their mental strength development journey. [19:23] Jim queried Scott on the impact of coaching in developing mental strength, drawing a comparison to sports coaching. Scott suggested initiating with a mental strength self-assessment and employing scientifically grounded tools from his book. He advised revisiting progress after three months and seeking guidance from a coach or mentor if advancement slows down.  [21:54] Scott discussed his book's focus on emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, emphasizing the misconception about confidence and the role of doubt. He introduced the doubt continuum, stressing that managing doubt is key to genuine confidence. Scott warned against extremes like overconfidence and fear paralysis. Jan linked this to societal challenges of tribalism and asked about leadership balancing uniqueness and adaptability. Scott highlighted leadership as fostering more leaders through learning agility and embracing individuality while evolving. [25:47] Scott and Jim discussed how societal changes are impacting workplace dynamics, comparing these challenges to "adult puberty." Scott highlighted the importance of mental strength in today's career pressures, similar to emotional intelligence. Jim reflected on past generational work differences, noting higher expectations today could lead to greater disillusionment. Both agreed on the growing importance of resilience in adapting to changing career landscapes. [30:16] Scott and Jim explored the nuances of difficult conversations, emphasizing preparation and understanding power dynamics. Scott highlighted the importance of fortitude in these interactions, while Jim discussed strategies for managing up, focusing on influence, endurance, or departure.  [36:13] Scott reassured listeners not to feel daunted by the process of becoming mentally stronger, emphasizing that everyone starts at a baseline. He suggested using the mental strength self-assessment to identify areas for growth and highlighted the effectiveness of the tools and habits in his book, validated through real-world applications.  [37:21] And remember, Striving for success is healthy, but believing you need to succeed the first time around may backfire. Mentally strong people believe failure is part of the process toward a long journey to success. By viewing failure as a temporary setback, they're able to bounce back and move forward with ease. - Amy Morin   Quotable Quotes "The shortest distance between two people is laughter." "Mental strength is the ability to regulate, not only your emotions, but your thoughts and your behaviors and actions as well. Productively, of course, especially in times of adversity." "Mental strength is the leadership superpower of our times. It is the next EQ that you're going to be hearing about for the next ten years, because it's a level above EQ in empowerment."" "The opposite of mentally strong is not mentally weak. We all have a baseline of mental strength that we could work from." "You have to have self-awareness about how you are, but more importantly, you need to have self-awareness of how you affect others." "The best leaders spread hope in reality, and they lay out what they expect, and they're super clear about their expectations and what they demand." "Times are calling for mental strength more than ever. It really is why I believe it's the next EQ for us all." "We're victims of our own success. We can talk about having this fulfilling, magical career in the work life that people are like, oh my gosh, it's actually work." "Having difficult conversations is a different form of fortitude because it's really hard." Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Scott Mautz Website | Scott Mautz LinkedIn | Scott Mautz X (Twitter) Facebook | Instagram |   This is the book mentioned
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Aug 28, 2024 • 42min

TLP423: GAIN Without Pain with Greg Hammer M.D.

Dr. Greg Hammer retired professor at Stanford University School of Medicine, pediatric intensive care physician, pediatric anesthesiologist, mindfulness expert, and # 1 best selling author of “GAIN Without Pain.” Greg discussed the GAIN method (Gratitude, Acceptance, Intention, Non-Judgment) to promote happiness and mental strength through brain flexibility. He compared stoic philosophy with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, emphasizing self-compassion and positive mental health habits. He also discussed non-judgment in coaching, focusing on empathy. Greg highlighted the importance of being present and listening actively. He explored faith's broader role in coping and happiness beyond specific religions.     Key Takeaways [03:02] Dr. Greg discussed why self-care is crucial for healthcare professionals, especially post-pandemic. He introduced his book, "Gain Without Pain: The Happiness Handbook for Healthcare Professionals," emphasizing resilience to prevent chronic stress. Dr. Greg explained the acute stress response and highlighted strategies for building resilience through self-care to maintain mental well-being in challenging times. [03:57] Dr. Greg explained the acute stress response, where the body releases adrenaline and cortisol in reaction to threats, a survival instinct from ancient times. In modern life, these responses can lead to chronic stress and health problems. He stressed the importance of resilience in managing stress effectively, given the constant stressors in today's world, to maintain long-term health and well-being. [10:13] Dr. Greg discussed the stellate ganglion block and cognitive behavioral therapy for stress relief. He introduced the GAIN method—Gratitude, Acceptance, Intention, Non-Judgment—as essential for happiness. Dr. Greg explained how these practices use neuroplasticity to rewire the brain, emphasizing gratitude for daily blessings, accepting life's challenges, and living intentionally in the present moment. He gave practical examples of each, showing how they can reduce suffering and strengthen mental resilience. [20:50] Dr. Greg compared stoic philosophy to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), noting their focus on controlling what's possible and letting go of what isn't. He questioned why people often neglect beneficial actions, attributing it to self-judgment and a tendency to feel undeserving of happiness. Dr. Greg highlighted the role of intentionality in changing these patterns, emphasizing techniques from CBT that promote self-compassion and positive mental health practices. [23:57] Dr. Greg and Jim discussed non-judgment in their coaching practice. They highlighted the difference between discerning behaviors and labeling people as good or bad. Dr. Greg shared insights from his meditation practice, emphasizing seeing oneself and others without judgment. [29:17] Dr. Greg reflected on his experiences as a pediatric intensive care physician, highlighting lessons in leadership and presence. He stressed the importance for physicians, especially younger ones, to prioritize presence and active listening, which he believes significantly impacts patient care and family satisfaction in critical situations. [32:58] Greg discussed the role of faith during tough times, agreeing that it's about believing in something bigger than ourselves, like a sense of interconnectedness or higher purpose, rather than specific religious labels. They highlight how this broader view of faith can help people cope and find happiness, emphasizing its universal relevance beyond individual beliefs. [35:34] Greg shares a story highlighting our tendency towards negativity bias and the need for self-compassion. They emphasize the potential of neuroplasticity to cultivate positivity and happiness. [40:58] And remember,  "Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes." - Thich Nhat Hanh   Quotable Quotes “Happiness is much lower down on the list of evolutionary pressures, let's say. So we've evolved in order to preserve our survival. “Suffering equals pain times resistance.”  “We're very judgmental by nature and we judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others.” "Our brains have something called neuroplasticity. That means that we can change those neural networks, those patterns. We can actually rewire our brains, which is really important, because our brains have become hardwired in ways that may have been adaptive for survival, but are not good for our peace and happiness." "Develop a practice where you could sort of wipe the slate clean before you go into that room and be present with the family first."  "Happiness really resides in the present moment." “Gratitude is essential for happiness." “But being present and open and making eye contact and being there for and with that person and their family, I think that's what people really want and need.” "We are all made of the same stuff...embracing the idea that we're more than just these little individual selves is intrinsic to happiness."  Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Dr. Greg Hammer Website | Dr. Greg Hammer Facebook | Dr. Greg Hammer Instagram | Dr. Greg Hammer YouTube | Dr. Greg Hammer LinkedIn | Dr. Greg Hammer X (Twitter) |   This is the book mentioned in this episode
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Aug 21, 2024 • 37min

TLPMM011: Becoming a Self-Reliant Leader with Jan Rutherford

Jan Rutherford, founder of Self Reliant Leadership®, takes a deep dive into the themes of self-reliance and leadership resilience. He shares insights from his collaboration with Jacquie Jordan, a co-author on his book “Becoming a Self-Reliant Leader: How Grit and Disciplined Duty Forge Indomitable Teams”. Jan explores the foundational principles of Self-Reliant Leadership: leading oneself, leading others, and leading the organization, stressing the continuous adaptation and refinement of these interrelated skills.  Jan shares personal insights from his background in Special Forces and leading wilderness expeditions, emphasizing the importance of solitude and reflection for effective leadership.  Jan highlights practical strategies for fostering resilience and adaptability in leaders, emphasizing the need for clear expectations, accountability, and effective communication within teams.  Jan reflects on his journey as a leader, acknowledging the challenges and transformations he's experienced. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and facing one's own hypocrisy in leadership, a concept inspired by one of his mentors.      Key Takeaways [03:36] Jan Rutherford, founder of Self Reliant Leadership, discusses the importance of self-reliance in leadership. Inspired by the book "My Side of the Mountain" as a child, Jan learned the value of self-sufficiency. A challenging experience during special forces training further solidified his belief. Leaders, according to Jan, need to be well-rounded individuals taking care of themselves mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This self-reliance allows them to make tough decisions and lead effectively even in difficult situations. However, Jan also emphasizes the importance of relying on others for help when needed. [07:26] Self-reliance is a core concept for Jan's leadership philosophy. It translates into three pillars: leading self (taking responsibility), leading others (setting expectations), and leading the organization (alignment and focus). Jan emphasizes the importance of constantly reflecting and adapting these principles. He uses an analogy of climbing a summit - preparation, teamwork, and a clear vision are all crucial for success. Jan also shared a story from a past expedition where nervousness manifested as humor. [12:31] Jan also talks about what leaders can do to foster greater resilience and adaptability in themselves.  [14:32] Jan talks about effective leadership communication. Leaders should set clear expectations and solicit feedback to improve performance. Negotiation is key to gaining commitment from employees. Leaders should also understand the importance of balancing tasks with building relationships with their teams. [20:55] Jan discusses the challenges of personalized leadership. Leaders need to tailor their approach to individual employees while still maintaining fairness. Effective leaders should spend more time developing individual relationships with their team members. [22:22] Jan discusses how to handle HR policies that restrict personalized leadership approaches. The leader is advised to push back on HR and use their power to implement what they believe is best for their team. [24:35] Jan discusses the importance of self-awareness in leadership. He also talks about the challenges of modern leadership and the importance of helping people find purpose and meaning in their work.Jan also shares how having a co-author of his book, Jackie Jordan, brought a valuable outsider's perspective to the project.  [35:40] Say nothing which is not true, nothing which is not kind, nothing which is not useful, and nothing which is not necessary. - W. S. Darley   Quotable Quotes “You gotta get up on the hill. You know, we are not paid to be busy. We got to get some alone time and reflect and figure things out.” “If you’re not squared away, if you’re not self reliant, you can’t lead. Because when it’s your turn to lead, you’ve got to exhibit discipline, and you’ve got to sacrifice, and you know, you got to muster everything.” “Slow down to speed up.” “We get so caught up in our head trash that sometimes like, oh my gosh, this is the end of the world. Is it really the end of the world? No, it’s not.” “Don’t ask people for feedback. Ask them for advice and suggestions.” “The biggest challenge is the need to personalize leadership approaches yet be perceived as fair.” “We are not high and mighty. We are flawed. You know, we are works in progress. We are facing our own hypocrisy.” “There's a big difference between good tired and bad tired. And I think our obligation as leaders, coaches, whatever we do, is to send people home at night good tired, not bad tired.”   Here are the books mentioned in this episode Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Jan Rutherford LinkedIn | X (Twitter) YouTube |
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Aug 14, 2024 • 41min

TLP422: Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict with Karin Hurt

Karin Hurt, founder and CEO of Let's Grow Leaders and author of "Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict," discusses the impact of post-pandemic stress on workplace dynamics. She highlights rising conflict levels based on global surveys, leading to reduced innovation and retention.  Karin introduces her book's "GOAT Phrases" (Greatest Of All Time) - 12 powerful phrases that can be used for effective conflict resolution, focusing on connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment.  She advises on recognizing when to disengage from conflicts and choosing suitable communication methods. Karin discusses team-building strategies, including mock presidential debates, and distinguishes between organizational and interpersonal conflicts. She emphasizes addressing conflicts within broader organizational contexts and using structured approaches like the "Inspire Method" for accountability conversations.    Key Takeaways [01:42] Karin talks about her new book, "Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Workplace Conflict," is available now. Karin shares an interesting tidbit from her past as a "madrigal singer," a form of Renaissance choral music requiring high collaboration. Additionally, she recounts a remarkable experience of being struck by lightning at age 20, which she humorously attributes to her high energy levels. Karin’s insights into leadership and her unique experiences promise a fascinating discussion. [05:21] Karin discusses the importance of effective communication in resolving workplace conflicts. She highlights the challenges of negative work relationships and the research on the rise of conflict after the pandemic. She introduces the concept of "conflict cocktails" which include factors like post-pandemic stress and unclear expectations. Karin also explores the concept of "GOAT" phrases, which are the greatest of all time powerful phrases for conflict resolution. These phrases focus on four dimensions: connection, clarity, curiosity, and commitment. [10:48] Karin dives into the power of phrasing in communication. While words themselves only make up 7% of the impact, phrasing can significantly influence how our message is received. Karin emphasizes that even the most powerful phrases won't work if nonverbal cues contradict the message. Body language and tone are crucial for effective communication. Her book offers specific phrases but acknowledges the importance of adapting them to the situation and remaining open to the conversation. [13:07] Karin shares her insight about David Brooks' book "How to Know a Person" emphasizes the importance of adaptation and overcoming limitations to be successful. This aligns with the executive coaching principle that "what got you here won't get you there." She discusses how to deliver critical feedback effectively using phrases that build connection and curiosity, avoiding accusatory labels that shut down conversations. [15:05] Karin discusses how to move people from complaining to solutions. The key is to understand what the person really wants and to empower them to take control. An example is given of a woman who felt stuck in a corporate culture but was encouraged to focus on her own agency and influence. She also highlights the importance of veterans and the US military.  [19:10] Karin explores the challenging topic of when to recognize and quit a conflict. She reflects on the realization that some conflicts are unresolvable or not worth resolving. Karin suggests evaluating personal well-being and values alignment when deciding whether to continue or disengage from a conflict. She shares poignant examples, including a nurse's decision to leave a toxic work environment despite initial doubts, highlighting the necessity of prioritizing mental health and values alignment in conflict resolution strategies. [22:59] Karin discusses thresholds in workplace conflict, highlighting how remote work has affected communication dynamics. She stresses the importance of choosing appropriate mediums for delicate conversations, emphasizing face-to-face or high-bandwidth methods for critical discussions like terminations. Karin warns against using asynchronous tools like Slack or email, which can inadvertently escalate conflicts by signaling avoidance or indifference. This approach aligns with Marshall McLuhan's theory that "the medium is the message," underscoring the need for thoughtful communication to resolve conflicts effectively. [25:34] Karin critiques common team-building pitfalls. She discusses how activities like golf outings often miss the mark in addressing deeper team issues and can exclude non-participants. She advocates for purposeful team-building aligned with organizational goals and values, emphasizing inclusivity and genuine connection over "forced fun" activities.  [36:02] Karin addresses misconceptions about solving organizational challenges solely through recruiting. She highlights the necessity of ongoing development and support for employees, citing Gallup's findings on low engagement levels. Emphasizing empathy and curiosity, Karin advocates for understanding employees' emotional states to enhance communication and productivity. She stresses the importance of clear expectations and sensitive responses in fostering a positive workplace environment, urging leaders to actively support their teams' growth and well-being. Karin shares her favorite powerful phrase, "What would a successful outcome do for you?" highlighting its ability to uncover deeper motivations in conversations. [39:50] And remember, peace is not absence of conflict. It is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. - Ronald Reagan   Quotable Quotes “We have four dimensions of effective collaboration or better workplace conflict: Connection. Are we connected as human beings? Clarity. Do we have a shared understanding of success? Curiosity. Are we genuinely interested in one another's perspectives and what's possible? And then commitment. Do we have a shared agreement?” “Encourage courageous conversations.” "When you avoid the conflict, you lose out on the innovation and all of the problem solving that comes when people feel confident, have the psychological safety to really show up and share what they're thinking." "Most people have more power in their circumstances than they think." "Encourage people that they have more power than they think in most circumstances." "There is a lot of money wasted on leadership development and team building that's not purposeful." "A lot of times we run around thinking we're influenced and we don't realize how much influence we have." "If you did not hold somebody accountable and you let them be a bad performer, you are not being kind to anybody in that scenario." "Show up curious in the conversation and move to commitment." Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Let’s Grow Leaders Website |   Karin hurt | LinkedIn | Karin Hurt X (Twitter |   This is the book mentioned in this episode
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Aug 7, 2024 • 35min

TLP421: Real-Life Wisdom for Frontline Leaders with Monica Rothgery

Monica Rothgery, author of "Lessons from the Drive-Thru: Real-Life Wisdom for Frontline Leaders,” discusses her journey from being an Army officer to becoming the first female COO of KFC US. She shares insights from her career, emphasizing the importance of frontline leaders in shaping a business's success.  She also highlights the challenges faced by frontline managers, the value of genuine investment in team members, and the lessons learned from her time managing a Taco Bell in Chicago and leading operations in Thailand. She underscores the necessity of adaptability, empathy, and leveraging personal uniqueness to inspire and lead effectively.    Key Takeaways [02:53] Monica discusses her career milestones, including her time as a quartermaster officer and her 30-year tenure at Taco Bell. She also explains her advocacy for frontline leaders and the importance of their roles. [08:03] Monica shares her initial mistakes in leadership and how she learned to engage and care for her team. She also mentioned the importance of genuine investment in team members and understanding their needs. [14:15] She discusses the importance of engaging and empowering frontline leaders. Her belief that engagement starts with the individual and is an inside job. [18:15] Monica discusses the role of frontline leaders in shaping the future workforce and the importance of their development. Monica discusses the impact of AI and robotics on frontline jobs and the need for companies to unlock the potential of each leader and focus on their specific roles. [27:56] She also emphasizes the importance of developing skills to adapt to technological advancements in the workplace. Monica's advices the young workers and aspiring leaders on finding purpose and meaning in their work. She also mentioned the significance of the first boss in shaping an individual's career and work ethic. [33:56] Closing quote: Remember, “I don't fear that a man will wear out as quickly as he will rust out.” —  Colonel Sanders   Quotable Quotes "Be yourself. Find your place where you're welcomed, where you're supported, where you can thrive."​ “It's about understanding what motivates people and then using their strengths to find ways to leverage them in the workplace."​ "Frontline leaders have some of the most important leadership jobs in every country.” “Make a list of all the momentary benefactors in your life and express some gratitude for them.” "The spotlight has to be on the team." “It's just tough to find the people to keep a restaurant open. I think that's a huge challenge.”  “One thing that companies have to do is unlock the potential of each leader.” "The parent's job is to instill confidence, teach the kid how to maybe go to an interview, equip that child to go out into the world as a self-sufficient functioning member of society".​  “I don't fear that a man will wear out as quickly as he will rust out.” —  Colonel Sanders   These are the books mentioned in our discussion with Monica   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Monica Rothgery’s LinkedIn | Monica Rothgery’s Website | Monica Rothgery’s Twitter |
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Jul 31, 2024 • 38min

TLP420: The Gift of Meritocracy with Shawn Dawley

Shawn Dawley, an executive and former combat pilot, dedicated 25 years to military service, visiting 80 countries across six continents. He holds a bachelor's degree in aeronautics and master's degrees in business, political science, and military studies. Overcoming a challenging childhood, he excelled in the Air Force, demonstrating that leadership potential can emerge from any background.  Shawn champions the importance of critical thinking, empathy, and trust in both military and business leadership. He believes that corporate structures should not overshadow the human element of leadership and stresses the significance of investing in people, developing future leaders, and fostering a growth-oriented culture.  As a speaker, Shawn has evolved from struggling with public speaking to offering insights on authenticity, emotional intelligence, and the neuroscience of decision-making.     Key Takeaways [02:39] Shawn, a leadership speaker and coach, shared a story about his childhood which was difficult due to death and abandonment. Despite this, he enlisted in the Air Force at 17 and found success through hard work. He credits the Air Force for providing him with the opportunity to succeed and for shaping his leadership skills. One of the most important lessons he learned in the military is the importance of objective, critical thinking. This skill has been essential for his success in the corporate world and other aspects of his life. [08:24] Shawn discusses leadership in the military vs business world. He argues that despite some key differences, both require leading people. He emphasizes the importance of human connection and empathy in leadership, regardless of the field. Shawn also highlights the difference in leadership development between the military and business. The military actively trains leaders, while businesses often neglect this crucial aspect. Shawn believes investing in people is the most important responsibility of a leader, and that building a strong team ensures a smooth transition when leaders move on. [14:45] Shawn  discusses his journey to becoming a successful public speaker. He emphasizes that public speaking is a skill that can be learned and improved through practice. He highlights the importance of preparation and spending quality time crafting a speech. Shawn also talks about building the business model around his public speaking career. He acknowledges the challenges of starting out and the importance of persistence. He credits mentors for helping him with the business aspects. [19:47] Shawn discusses a common problem leaders face: spending too much time on administrative tasks. He argues that leaders should delegate these tasks to free themselves up for strategic thinking. According to Shawn, the most important thing leaders should do is integrate. This involves looking across the entire organization and considering external factors like regulations and competition. Leaders need to be freed from administrative duties to focus on this crucial role. [24:20] Shawn argues that our brains are wired to feel before we think. This can be helpful in situations requiring a quick response, but it can also lead to emotional reactions in the workplace. Shawn suggests that leaders should acknowledge this neurological reality and focus on helping employees manage their emotions. He believes creating opportunities for employees to learn from their mistakes can be a valuable tool for growth. [31:52] Shawn discusses transitioning from military to civilian life. He argues that the key to a successful transition is avoiding comparisons to the previous role. Instead, one should focus on appreciating the new role for what it is and finding value in the new situation. Shawn also emphasizes the importance of emotional buy-in during transitions. Even if a transition plan seems logical on paper, people won't feel settled unless they trust the change and believe in its purpose. [35:34] Shawn argues that there are no new leadership principles. He encourages leaders to be human and acknowledge that they won't always have all the answers. Leaders should focus on having good intentions and acting in the best interests of those they lead. People will forgive mistakes as long as they see the effort and good attitude behind the decisions. [37:40] And remember: Inspiration exists but it has to find us working. - Pablo Picasso   Quotable Quotes “Progress will never rest in the hand that has no head.”  “The gift of meritocracy allowed me to do some things, I would say as I left the military, went into the corporate world, spent time in academia, if there's one thing, and I don't think the military has a monopoly on it, but this absolute demand for objective, critical thinking that military operators require has served me well, because when you are, let's say, mission planning for a combat sortie, it is to your detriment to engage in the delusion of wishing things into existence that you want to be or wishing things away that you find unpleasant. And so you just have to just mercilessly try to dissect the battle space as it is and then develop courses of action that will fit into that environment.” “ Leadership is a very fundamental, primal human condition.” “The mark of a true leader is that when he or she leaves, not only does the place continue to operate as under his or her command, I think if it does, even better. I think that there's some bit of legacy that you must still have to those folks.” “Public speaking is a skill and like any skill, it is acquired and improved.” “We are building a more and more complex society, which can, I think, incline us towards more and more technical solutions. And I think sometimes we get so busy keeping the trains running on time that we forget, okay, at the end of the day, how do I earn the trust of people that I am leading and influence them to do more than what they thought capable?” "There are, I think, some fundamental differences between leading, let's say, a military organization in combat versus being an executive responsible for profit and loss of a business unit or a company. There are some just fundamental characteristic differentials. But what I have found is that at the end of the day, behind that title, behind that role that the people entrusted to your care hold are people." “I would encourage leaders, as one who's still going through this myself, to give yourself license to be human. We often think now that I'm the leader, it's incumbent upon me to be the rock, to have all the answers. And that's a lot for a single human being to carry."   Resources Mentioned The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Shawn Dawley Website | Shawn Dawley LinkedIn | Shawn Dawley Facebook | Shawn Dawley Instagram | Shawn Dawley YouTube |

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