Hole in My Heart Podcast

If you have ever struggled with pornography addiction or are close to someone who has, please listen to this episode. Licensed mental-health counselor, ordained minister, and author Jay Stringer, helped peel back the layers of understanding for all of us as we heard results of his nearly 4,000-person study on the "whys" behind unwanted sexual behavior. From the research laid out in his incredible book, Unwanted, we dig into family systems that can foster certain types of lust and anger, the power of shame (and what removes it), and steps to take toward actual freedom. And of course, Chuck Norris and some ridiculous high-fiving action make an appearance.   //: Highlights: "We need to learn to listen to our lust, and see what it says about us." --Jay Stringer "We need to begin to break some of the silence up, to say, 'Because we are made in God's image we are sexual, and that is a beautiful, stunning thing. And yet because evil cannot destroy the glory and goodness of God, evil will then go after that which most reflects God's glory and image, which is of course, our sexuality.'" --Jay Stringer "If we are really wanting change, what does it mean to not condemn ourselves for our unwanted sexual behavior, to not hate ourselves for our sexual story, but to be kind about how it in some ways makes a lot of sense--given the life that we've had?" --Jay Stringer   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Jay's site This site is also amazing Get his book! Follow him on Twitter For More

Do you intrinsically feel the shift in culture over the last ten years or so, but you can't quite name it? Author and pastor Sam Allberry can. ​In addition to being a really great hang, Sam lays out four cultural shifts and seven responses to those shifts on today's episode. This is not one to miss.   //: Highlights: "As I deny self I don't become less me. As I follow Jesus and deny self I become more the me God had thought up in the first place. Isn't that amazing? God can take a group of us and we all become more like Jesus, but we won't become more like each other." --Sam Allberry "Jesus is not as easy as we think he is when it comes to these issues. That is so important to know because if they are angry at this stuff they aren't angry at Christianity, they aren't angry at me, they aren't angry at you, they aren't angry at the church. Actually, their real issue is with Jesus, and they need to realize that." --Sam Allberry   //: Do the Next Thing: Listen to the talk we reference here Look into Living Out Ministry Check out Sam's book on some of these issues here You can follow him on Twitter here For More

If you grew up in the purity movement era of Christianity--where a lot of talk around sexuality was based on 'just say 'no' to sex before marriage'--were you burned by it? Encouraged by it? Our friend, Jason Soucinek, executive director and founder of ProjectSix19 talks us through the benefits and detriments of talking about sexuality with a focus on this type of purity, and helps us consider another way. We also dig into favorite group games (just don't talk about kickball kaythxsbye), get a bit crazy about being inclusive of single people, and have a giant take us to Goofball Island for reasons we still don't quite know.   //: Highlights: "As a parent, you want to be Google to your children--especially when it comes to [sexuality]." --Jason Soucinek "I think if we're only looking at two parts [fall and redemption] and we are starting with the Fall, then our language is going to be around sin, and the language of, 'no, 'bad,' and 'not good.' We'll eventually get to 'image of God' or 'Jesus' or 'forgiveness,' but that's just not the story I see taking place. It starts with, 'It was very good.'" --Jason Soucinek   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Jason's sexuality equipping ministry here These may be especially helpful for parents: Parent's Primer on Sexual Integrity Parent's Primer on Internet Pornography For More

Every week, we invite people into our home for food, conversation, and games. It's basically the podcast but in real life. My real life little sister, Angela Bowles, talks about how this works both as a biological sibling and sister in Christ. We also discuss the first time I shared my story with Angela (on her 16th birthday?!), how we get motivated to do difficult things, and PLEASE listen to the after-closing bloopers. We guffawed.   //: Highlights: "I got super convicted by my own mouth on a stage. I was talking [on a platform] about how the Church is the hope of the world, and how we need to open up our doors to anyone who needs family. It was the Holy Spirit pinpricking my heart saying, 'You got to open up your own home and invite people in.'" --Laurie Krieg "That's why Fram Din works: It's because it's not about sexual issues necessarily, it's about being 'with.'" --Angela Bowles "I've really loved seeing the interaction of people with our daughters. Our oldest daughter, Gwyn, is super excited: She starts praying for the family and it's all of her cousins, all of Family Dinner, and all the people she interacts with that she cares about. It's really cool to see that in her mind that they truly have been adopted into the family." --Matt Krieg   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out this book: Family on Mission! For More

Do you ever wonder how people can go from living comfortably to saying "yes" to serving people courageously? We do. So we asked some of our friends how they did it. Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India. Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient. Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode.   //: Highlights: "I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen "The gospel is so needed-both for the predator and the victim. I am kind of repulsed  by that because we only want to think about the victim. But both need huge redemption. As I've see this, [the perpetrators] need to be redeemed from viewing anyone as an object. . . . For the children who have been through things (so many people who have been trafficked): The Lord has to heal that hurt. There is so much in this world that needs to be made right. . . God starts to do that work in us now, but there is a waiting in that hope that is to come." --Dana Mollhagen   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out their organization, Faith in Deeds For More

91% of US adults believe the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself, and 2 out of 5 Americans believe that, when it comes to what happens in the country today, "people of faith" and "religion" are a part of the problems in our country. How can we speak into this environment as believers? Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant. We launch the courage conversation by talking about a time when someone quite innocently (but publicly) accused me of something, and Gabe represented Jesus well by advocating strongly for me.  We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession. This one is not one to miss.   //: Highlights: "People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons "The reality is most people are not looking for a debate. They are looking for someone who is loving and kind, but also willing to be confident in what they believe." --Gabe Lyons "Confession is the initial act that starts to open up a door of freedom--of shame being removed, and us living out in a courageous way what God wants to do. If we don't do that, we don't usually have courage. We don't feel comfortable telling anybody else what we believe is true, because we do feel judgmental. Because we know that in our own life we have things we haven't confessed. It is critical to confess so we can then (with confidence) approach all the issues and topics and conversations that we need to be bold about in our society." --Gabe Lyons   //: Do the Next Thing: Follow Gabe on Instagram and Twitter Read Gabe Lyons and David Kinnaman's books! For More (including some statistics from his book)

Do you ever feel like you are a spiritual extremist? Some days you're running so hard and fast toward Jesus, and then you get tired. Or you mess up. Or someone says something to throw you off and you stop. And putz around a bit. And get discouraged. But then you get convicted and you start sprinting until you...don't. This back-forth, sprint-stop can be exhausting. Josh Kelley, author of 'Radically Normal', talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle? It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.)   //: Highlight: "I face more temptation going to a Bible study than going to the bar. And this is why: I was a smart kid, and my identity was being this smartest one in the room--knowing more about the Bible. Every time I walk into a Bible study or walk into a church, my temptation to prove myself or to prove my spiritual astuteness is overwhelming." --Josh Kelley “Whether it’s a bartender or a barista or a pastor or whatever God has called you to, you can be 100 percent completely devoted to God in that place. The only thing that’s preventing you from being a whole-hearted follower of Jesus is not your education level, it’s not where you live, it’s not your job, its whether or not you choose to follow Him . . . with your whole heart.” –Josh Kelley   //: Do the Next Thing: Read Josh's book! Radically Normal: You Don't Have to Live Crazy to Follow Jesus Check out Josh's site! For More

Author, poet, and artist, Jackie Hill Perry, is in the house! As we do with every guest, we get at the intersection between the gospel and Jackie's real, right-now life. In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose? Join us. P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest.   //: Highlights: "Randomly, the strongest thought came to my head that said, 'My sin will be the death of me.' I was like, 'Oh, that was weird.' I started to think about my sin and it's consequences . . . I tried to be Christian before. I had said the sinner's prayer like 12 times before and it never worked. I knew I could not save myself. I knew, 'If you're calling me to be holy, that has to be something You do.' I told God, 'What you're calling me to do I know I can't do on my own, but I know enough about you to know that you'll help me.'" --Jackie Hill Perry "I think my challenge was would I ever love him [my husband, Preston] truly? Will I ever be as attracted to him as I was to the women I was with? Will I ever feel like I can be myself? Those were a lot of my fears." --Jackie Hill Perry "I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry   //: Do the Next Thing: Read Jackie's new book Gay Girl, Good God Follow Jackie on Instagram For More

If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here. David Bennett, author of 'A War of Loves' (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar. But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work? Let's dig in. We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks.   //: Highlights: “There was an inner, ‘I don’t want to be gay and I hate myself. I don’t want to be same-sex attracted. I want to be straight like everyone else and belong.” I reacted to that in an extreme pendulum swing towards radical self-discloser, “I am gay, if you don’t accept it, then I don’t accept you. Get out of my way because I’m getting my rights and you’ll hear from me. I’m going to spend my life defending the gay community and destroying homophobia.” –David Bennett “Jesus was saying to me, ‘No, I identify with that suffering. I died on the cross and had all the stones thrown at me. You don’t have to take those. I took them for you.'” –David Bennett “I had been really, really politically active . . . working for gay marriage and very passionate about that and that political faction. I used to tear down all the Christian union posters on campus and put gay marriage march posters on top. That’s where I was. [But] in the middle of this there was still this aching void in my heart. Still this, ‘I want something more.'” –David Bennett "[Madeline] said to me, 'David, have you experienced the love of God? You don't know the meaning of those desires until you experience the love of God.' She inflected to me that she really didn't like the narrow-mindedness of a lot of the Christian community and how horribly the LGBTQI community had been treated. That bowled me over. I had never had a Christian actually care--really actually care and embrace me as if they got what I'd been through. That was so powerful and disarming. Then she said . . . 'I really feel the presence of God right now. I have to pray for you. Do you mind if I pray for you? Is that okay? I don't usually pray for people but I just feel this compulsion. God's love is so intense for you." . . . It wasn't that [God] loved me as a fact, but she was experiencing how much more God loved me more than everything else. It was as if this love was unique for just me. It was the one thing that could get through the huge wall I had built over my heart." --David Bennett   //: Do the Next Thing: Get his book! A War of Loves Check out Larry Crabb's book on gender called Fully Alive Follow David on Twitter For More

Gratitude. Joy. Hope. God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical. Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting. Welcome.   //: Highlights: "The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave. It's because of God." --Matt Krieg "It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg   //: Do the Next Thing: For More