Hole in My Heart Podcast

"I think I am afraid of being in *God’s* presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in *my* presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D. Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it.   //: Highlights: "God—even in His pursuit—He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."—Curt Thompson "The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world." —Curt Thompson   //: Do the Next Thing: Read Curt's book here Check out his organization here For More

Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me." How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves. This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply.   //: Highlights: "The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. ​ "It is not difficult for us to register [shame] in catastrophic events (bullying, sexual and physical abuse, or some kind of public humiliation). The thing is, as far as our real life is concerned, the vast majority of how these [shame] events actually occur is in the privacy of our own minds. It is the dozens of times when we say to ourselves 'I should have done this. I should have done that. I'm not good enough at this. I'm not good enough at that.' . . . It's these micro-moments that turn into a death of a thousand cuts." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.   //: Do the Next Thing: Read Curt's book here Check out his organization here For More

Peek between the cracks of the podcast to hear updates on our words for the year ("Do you feel like God gave you that word?"), look forward to our words for 2019, and hear us encourage each other unplanned. As we reflect on this year of pain and growth, we may even shed a couple tears between our laughs. (Of course we do. :) ) We love you, guys. Thanks for being a major joyful part of our year.

It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year. But what about today? Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?" We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us.   //: Highlights: "That’s what lament is: It’s crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things.” --Sharon Garlough Brown "A spiritual discipline is a grace discipline. I don’t have the power to make myself more like Jesus, but I can practice things that will help me be more attentive . . . and responsive to His call.” --Sharon Garlough Brown   //: Do the Next Thing: For More

At HIMH we sometimes call ourselves "gospel addicts," but what is an addict? Author, psychologist, and addiction expert, Dr. Gregory Jantz, breaks down some of the attributes and questions we may have for ourselves or our friends on how to take steps away from the following addictions: ​ Alcohol Food (eating too much or little) Work Sex/pornography Relationships TV/Netflix Social Media Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.) Come play and learn with us.   //: Highlights: "A relapse handled properly is all about recovery--because we are learning from it." --Dr. Gregory Jantz "[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz   //: Do the Next Thing: Learn more about Dr. Gregory Jantz here Find his book, Healing the Scars of Addiction, here Take the CAGE questionnaire here Follow on Twitter  For More

Fruit of knowing the Good News is believing that God loves kids. He cares about their souls, he cares about their spirits, and he cares about their bodies. That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"? We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, 'God Made All of Me,' Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.)   //: Highlights: "We need to start talking young because 1 out of 5 kids will be victims of childhood sexual abuse before their 18th birthday."--Justin Holcomb "[If you talk about body protection with kids] it builds a trust so that if something happens, if they are exposed to something . . . they are going know, 'Mom and Dad know about this. They talked to me about this. They are safe and understand this.'" --Lindsey Holcomb "We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb   //: Do the Next Thing: Get the book here Visit their website here Follow on Justin and Lindsey on Twitter Check them out on Facebook For More

Let's take it back to the basics and then broaden to the more complex: What does LGBTQIA mean (and why doesn't the term "homosexuals" cover it)? Where can parents take their mix of emotions when their kid comes out? Is there even a right and wrong when it comes to the gender conversation? We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse? Mark is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture. Ready? Let's go.   //: Highlights: ​"What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse "A lot of times youth ministers will say, 'It's not my experience, so how can I be a trail guide?' You don't have to be Bear Grylls, you just need to be familiar with the trail. You just have to have walked the trail with other people . . . and to read up on it." --Dr. Mark Yarhouse   //: Do the Next Thing: Find some of Dr. Yarhouse's Center for Faith articles on gender here Two of Dr. Yarhouse's books we found very helpful are Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture.  Want to partner with us? Find out how you can here For More

Heyyyy! Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the United States! Happy "we are thankful for you all" if you are not in the States. In this 8-minute special we debate whether or not you put the stuffing in the turkey. (Answer: Find Alton brown's killer recipe on the link below for turkey SANS STUFFING. Throwaway turkeys are welcome for such goodness.) We also get a lil' bit serious on what we are thankful for. Get it here, kids. That Link: (At the bottom of the last episode): https://www.himhministries.com/blog/episode-59-a-tiny-living-act-of-obedience

What do you get when you cross 350-square-feet, six people, a one one-eyed cat named Sirius, and an honest look at what makes up our identity? This episode. Ashley Auerbach, a mom of four turned-tiny-living expert (whose life is soon to be featured on a TV show!), talks about obedience and the beautiful shredding it does to our perceptions of self. We also have her figure out our tiny living problems such as how to play Cones of Dunshire in our hypothetical new RV, and what to do in said hypothetical RV if we want to buy our kids those crazy huge Costco bears for Christmas. We laugh and get real per usual.   //: Highlights: “My identity was wrapped up in what I did for people and how I entertained and how I opened my home. Because I couldn’t do any of those things my identity took a real hit. And it’s still taking a real hit.” --Ashley Auerbach "[God] allowed these circumstances of my health to fail so I could get to the place where I would say ‘yes’ to the more he would have for me." --Ashley Auerbach   //: Do the Next Thing: Follow Ashley on Instagram here or at AuerbachAdventures  Follow here blog here For More

Yup. We are talking about looks. Specifically, clothing. This may seem like too surface-level of a conversation for this podcast, but aren't clothes an expression of who we are? An expression of who God made us to be? We would say, yes. This conversation arose as I (Laurie) was stressing out way too much about what to wear on a stage. I found myself dressing for my audience as opposed to dressing as an expression of who God made me to be. Then Kelli ODell--a friend and our Producer Steve's wife--entered the scene. She got to know my heart and helped me express it tangibly. Now, I don't stress. I just live. If you feel annoyingly stressed about expressing yourself tangibly via clothes, you may leave practically encouraged after listening.   //: Highlights: "When you do this process and find out, 'These are my colors, these are the shapes that look good,' it simplifies your life . . . You are freed up to focus on other people. You kind of forget about yourself." --Kelli O'Dell "So many of us see what looks cool on XYZ celebrity, and we are like, 'Okay, that is a cool look. I want to try that on.' What Kelli does is she confirms whether that particular look is right for you as an individual. Versus trying to be like someone else, it's helping you be more like who you are." --Steve O'Dell   //: Do the Next Thing: Do you want to hit up Kelli for ideas for you? Email her here For More (Including quizzes you can take!)