Hole in My Heart Podcast

Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope. We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships. We'd love to hear what you think of this concept of emotional chastity, and please let us know which goofy triathlon would you try. (You'll understand when you listen.) Thanks for being a part of the HIMH Podcast fam! ​   //: Highlights: ​"Part of celibacy for me is not simply giving up a sexual relationship, but it's also a giving up that I have the right to an extremely intimate non-sexual relationship." --Wesley Hill "When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill   //: Do the Next Thing: For More

When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?" I'm so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.   //: ​Highlights: ​ "What is love? God gives you love for your kids. Tell me: which of your kids is perfect? Tell me: which of you, mom and dad, is perfect? We need grace. We need to extend grace." --Randy Hekman "What does love actually mean? Love means you accept their heart and you care for them." --Randy Hekman ​"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out our friends' amazing Guiding Families resource That Luis Palau prayer gathering he was talking about? Check it out here That Stick Faith thing about five mentors? Find it here For More

Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let’s start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen! Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play “Explain a Film Plot Badly.” IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.   //: Highlights: “I really struggled with the question, ‘How could impossibly be saved if I still have this struggle?’ It was so important to me to realize God doesn’t just save me in the past, but he is saving me in my present.” --Bridget Eileen “The celibate life is really not livable without friendship.” --Bridget Eileen "I’ve seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there haven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn’t have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out Bridget Eileen's blog, Meditations of a Traveling Nun for more beautiful thoughts on friendship/family/celibacy For More 

When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered. He offers that story here. We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why. Welcome back, friends! We are so excited to walk this season with you.   //: Highlights: "God allows us to walk away from him and stumble and fall so we can learn to reach out our hands and have him pick us up again." --Daniel Mattson "I was tempted to despair when I was younger. I thought, 'If I obey God, I'm going to be stuck in a nursing home alone and forgotten.' . . . [But] let's say I'm in a retirement home when I'm 80. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be looking around at those other people who may have just lost their spouse and don't know what it means to have the single life and thrive. I am going to take them by the hand and say, 'You know? I've been doing this for a long time. Let's live out this life with joy.'" --Daniel Mattson   //: Do the Next Thing: Find Daniel's book here! Follow him on Twitter here! Check out some Elisabeth Elliot (someone who suffered well and from whom we stole the "do the next thing" phrase) here. For More 

Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume. We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).   //: Highlight: “There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg   //: Do the Next Thing: For More

This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping] We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping. But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally. We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week!   //: Highlight: "What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus   //: Do the Next Thing: For More

Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH. Is it biblical to have a best friend? At what point does a friendship turn codependent? What can we do about it? We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.) We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...)   //: Highlights: "We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not on each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham "Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham "Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham   //: Do the Next Thing: Check out the Kelly's blog Read Messy, Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover Read When People are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch Read Knowing God by J. I. Packer For More

We have two incredible stories for you today: One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God." The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well. We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday   //: Highlights: ​ "That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie ​“How does God see me? … He wasn’t doing the frown-face-with-the-shoulder-turn. He was like, ‘Dude. Finally. I’ve been waiting. And I’m so excited you are here.'” –Kat LaPrairie "As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush “It was a little alarming the amount of pressure that the kids seemed to be under… to identify were they pansexual, bisexual, gay, lesbian, cisgender, or were they transgender? … Some people want to be supportive (and that’s good!) …. What I’m not hearing is people interjecting, ‘And it’s okay if you don’t know. You’re developing. You don’t have to label yourselves, my loves. You don’t have to label yourselves.” –Kathi Bush   //: Do the Next Thing: For More 

Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why. The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of ​Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation. Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain).   //: Highlights: "There wasn't a particular paragraph or a line of logic that got me [in Mere Christianity]. It was that while I was reading, I was suddenly aware not only did God exist, but that he was incredibly holy, and that holiness was a problem for me."  "I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity."  "In other groups I had made friends by telling dirty jokes and drinking a lot. (I learned pretty quickly that that's not how you make friends with Evangelicals). [My Christian friends] were so incredibly gracious to me. They just loved me right in. I never felt weird or out of place. It was just full acceptance all at once." "If you choose sin over relationship, it does not stay in your own private world, it always ripples out."   //: Do the Next Thing: For More 

Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?) We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg brings the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!   //: Highlights: "Prayer and pride are inversely proportional. If one side is high, the other side is low. If one side is low, the other side is high." " Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom." "Beholding the glory of God is the antidote to thinking more or less of yourself."   //: Do the Next Thing: For More