Episode 68. Val 5.2: Rejection. Ulland starts by inadvertently blaming Jo for difficulty starting to record due to generalized shenanigans.   What a dum dum. The partnership continues a dialogue about rejection and limits and how they pertain to relationships and codependency. This episode addresses more relational aspects of rejection.

Episode 67. Val 5.1: Rejection. The partnership discusses the Paradox of Choice and how limits around choices may lead to more happiness. Rejection of infinite options may lead to creative choices, and increased commitment to a couple activities, leading to mastery. DBT, viewed as rigid by some outsiders, allows for the freedom and creativity of its practice. This episode addresses more philosophical aspects of rejection.

Episode 66. Val 4: Failure. Ulland and Jo welcome failure. Such a good way to learn. Fail hard, fail fast, fail often. Ulland’s son plays the cello so no one can hear it, but Jo. Multiple examples of failure are given, including science and how each of Jo and Ulland risked and failed to arrive where they are today.

Episode 65. Val 3.3: “Kill your ‘self’,” says the Buddhist. Ulland and Jo review avoidance of uncertainty, which can happen from a threat to our identity. Buddhist’s offer the solution of minimizing our identity being such a focus—the attachment of who we think we are or how others expect us to be. Ulland and Jo give several personal and impersonal examples of situations that may challenge identity.

Episode 64. Val 3.2: Meaning in Uncertainty. Ulland and Jo discuss meaning and how subjective it is compared to an objective universe. Ulland likens the evolution of the mind being a house with multiple additions. They discuss how meaning can be either positive or negative. Jo discusses how meaning has to adapt and change sometimes, and life can teach us that some values were not effective enough for each of us.

Episode 63. Val 3.1: Uncertainty. Ulland and Jo gossip about their familiar friend Uncertainty. No one knows when the episode will start for sure. Neither do they it seems. Ulland tries while Jo is ruthless for at least “tuna . . . half minutes.” Jo retorts, “Turn-about is fair play.” The beginning suggests a possible failure—they might be ahead of themselves here with this one, since Failure will be the third value discussed. Eventually.

Episode 62. Val 2: Accountability. Ulland and Jo define accountability. Examples are given. Ulland discusses the complexity of accountability in treatment with an example of how systems struggle to be accountable at times when clients become stuck in treatment.

Episode 61. Val 1: Shi**y and Good Values. Ulland and Jo start the conversation about values in a theoretical sense. They review values that are helpful and then shift to talking about some substitutes for good values.

Episode 60. Happiness = Problems to Solve. Ulland and Jo discuss how problems are necessary for growth and positive emotions. They discuss dialects and the Biosocial Theory as relevant to how our country is suffering in recent moments—how abuse of power has directly affected minorities. They ask for those less directly effected to quietly listen and make space for the expression of grief. They also suggest that values show us which problems we need to work on. And there are no easy answers for complex problems.

Episode 59. First World Problems. Ulland and Jo review the mediocre life. They review technology and the overwhelming amount of choices we have and how that has not led to happiness. The effervescent optimist Ulland makes the statement, “The vast majority if your life is boring.” He concludes his case with the wisdom that exceptional people poop, too. “I’m a primitive animal!” Finally accept the mundane by living in mediocristan and consider the backwards law.