Relationship Coaching School Podcast

In this lively episode, Bryan Franklin and Jennifer Russell lay bare the inner-workings of their extraordinary relationship. And it truly is extraordinary! Bryan and Jennifer share how they came together and worked to build their relationship from the ground up. We get into specifics and details that I think you will find extremely helpful and enlightening here. Bryan and Jennifer also tease us with a few of their “extraordinary-relationship principles”, the rock-solid foundations of their partnership. If you resonate with the idea of relationship designed to optimize the evolution of each individual, then you will love this episode. Make sure to leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts! SHOWNOTES: Bryan shares a vulnerable realization from his first marriage [4:30] Jennifer shares her own early relationship struggles [8:00] A powerful wedding vow [10:30] Guys: don’t view your partners as “roadies” [12:15] How does Jennifer define intimacy? [15:30] A founding principle of an “extraordinary relationship” [20:30] Another extraordinary-relationship principle in action [24:00] What Brian and Jennifer do to better their future selves in relationship [31:00] The process Bryan and Jennifer use when they are triggered in conflict [33:45] The 3rd extraordinary-relationship principle – being called into your greatness [37:00] Re-framing your partner’s complaints – “All of your fights are the source of your own _______” [44:00] One last extraordinary-relationship principle – (it’s a good one) [47:00]

If you are the one who chose to get a divorce, or you are thinking about a divorce, than this podcast episode is for you. Divorce is often stigmatized in our culture as bad, wrong, a failure, you name it. But is it really? Isn’t it okay to throw in the towel sometimes? My answer is in this episode, where I talk about 2 reasons why divorce might be, or might have been, a valid decision for you. But be prepared because I also challenge you. Notice if you get defensive and if so, leave a comment below.

Do you know how to listen to an emotional woman? Yikes! This one’s for the men out there (and yes, some women are not great listeners as well, I get that). If you’re anything like me you know it can be hard to listen to your woman. It’s probably in your best interest to sharpen your listening skills in a way that opens her up and softens her.  How do you do that? In 3 simple steps, which I outline in the podcast.  I talk about what it means to FRACK your woman, and why you want to avoid it.  Also I share 3 words to tell your woman so that she feels validated.  Finally, I bring in a great rule of thumb I share with my wife when it comes to listening and understanding her. You’ll want to hear this one, as it was a game-changer for our whole relationship.  Make sure to leave a comment or any questions you have below!

This episode was a lot of fun.  Former dedicated David Deida student Adam Gilad brings some excellent advice during this dialogue. We cover fatherhood, dating, marriage, and why Adam couldn’t do relationship early on and what he “figured out” along the way. He also shares his most recent wedding vows and so much more. I think you’re in for a treat here.  SHOWNOTES: What lead Adam to teach about relationship? [3:55] A personal share from Jayson: re-writing marriage vows [12:30] The #1 thing that made Adam ready for deep relationship [13:40] Adam shares his “one vow to rule them all” [15:55] Reframe: the idea of marriage as “hard work” [18:10] Playing the infinite game of love [25:10] Why do people hold back on asking for what they need/want in relationship? [25:10] The difference between finding and inspiring love [29:25] The 3 ways to inspire love  [33:20] Adam’s answer to inspired marriages [43:15] Adam brings a vulnerable share [44:55] Jayson and Adam swap stories of being a father [47:40]

In this 2nd installment of AMAR (Ask Me Anything about Relationships) I dive into your burning questions and it gets a little intense in there! Thanks for bringing it everyone! SHOWNOTES: There’s a lot of great questions in here including: How to relate to someone who’s depressed [5:30] How to find a great marriage counselor [17:45] How to get over years of resentments [26:35] What to do if someone is passive aggressive with you [34:25] And more!

This is a pretty charged issue. On the one hand, some people really believe divorce is one of the major culprits to kid’s problems. On the other hand, newer research suggests that kids are fine coming from divorced families, and in fact may even be more resilient and capable of handling life’s challenges. If you really think divorce is going to mess up your kids, think again…Listen in, then weigh in with a comment below. SHOWNOTES: The erroneous assumption that comes along with divorce statistics [3:00] What is the real issue here? [8:10] The problem with divorce/marriage research [11:45] What I suggest you do if you are in a dead marriage [15:15] Relationship tools to use if you want to avoid divorce [17:20]

Co-dependency gets a bad rap in most circles. I used to shame it as well. Yet, as I’ve matured, I’ve come to see that there is a lot of value to be found in co-dependency, yet it’s important to know the difference between the more neurotic kind and the wisdom kind. In this episode I go into what co-dependency is, where it comes from, and how we can relate to it with grace and honesty in our long-term relationships. SHOWNOTES: How does Jayson define co-dependency? [1:30] Our two fundamental drives as human beings [3:40] The dance of authentic co-dependency [12:00] What’s cool about the drive to be authentic… [17:00]

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you…”  Maybe you’ve heard this one before, or even said it yourself to someone you were breaking up with? I know I have in past relationships. If you’ve used this statement, or been on the receiving end of it, you need to listen to this podcast. There’s much more to the story. Find out by listening in… SHOWNOTES: A common statement in relationship, but the real meaning behind it [1:50] A more honest statement to use instead [5:15] What is supposed to happen in a real relationship? [11:30] What happens when we don’t learn how to love [13:45]    

This episode was a lot of fun. Terry Real brings the heat for women and men using what he calls “fierce intimacy.” While this episode is for both men and women, it is largely geared toward women who are with a guy who’s not fully on board. He has some great advice for women, while at the same time challenges men to develop their relationship skills. I know you’ll dig this one. SHOWNOTES: Beginning of interview [4:30] Terry shares how he came to be interested in relationship work [5:00] What is “fierce intimacy”? [7:20] The difference between a good man and a great man [12:30] Advice for young millennial men [15:00] What Terry says to women who are frustrated with their men [19:30] A lot of men who wont do the work for themselves or for the marriage, will get it and rise to the occasion for the sake of… [23:00] 3 key steps for women to work with their shutdown men (this is very good) [26:00] Should women reward their man’s effort with sex? [32:45] The design flaw in the way most therapists do therapy [40:10] Parting comments [50:15]

If you’ve ever skied, surfed, or gone outdoor climbing, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced that elusive peak state of awareness referred to as “flow”. Time slows, thoughts disappear, your sense of self seems to merge with the present moment, and everything just…flows! The flow state brings high levels of creativity, learning and connection…all things that we want in our relationships. In this episode, I bring on flow expert Jamie Wheal to dig into an important question: How can we bring this peak state into our long-term partnerships? We also hear deeply personal, wisdom-packed stories from Jamie on the evolution of his partnership.  You’re going to enjoy this one. SHOWNOTES: Start of interview [0:40] What is the Flow Genome Project? [1:30] What’s the distinction between dopamine rushes, drug highs, and “flow”? [3:50] Is there a bridge between peak flow states and monogamous relationships? [7:20] What happens when sex is made into a dedicated practice, similar to exercise or flossing? [12:50] “Erotic Tonglen” [16:50] Shares from Jamie’s personal life [22:50] What happened to the sexual chemistry when Jamie had kids? [28:05] Is the bedroom a place of withholding or safety? [29:05] The unconscious bargain that Jamie started his marriage with, and had to drop to save the relationship [31:20] What Jamie learned about his relationship at Burning Man [33:00] False notions about enlightenment and soulmates [40:30] Parting Words from Jamie [43:40] There are 3 key components of Flow: 1. Rich Environments 2. Deep Embodiment 3. High Consequence