Relationship Coaching School Podcast

Not a fan of your inner critic? Want to get rid of it? What if that negative voice inside isn't your enemy but a valuable part of your internal family? Author, psychotherapist and founder of the Internal Family Systems Model (IFS), Richard Schwartz, says our true "Self" exists side by side with the many parts that make us who we are. The trick is putting the "Self" back in the driver's seat. In this episode, Richard and Jayson talk IFS and explore the concept that people are naturally multiple. This one's great for therapists, coaches AND individuals alike! SHOWNOTES Who is Richard Schwartz? [7:00] What makes Internal Family System (IFS) therapy unique? [11:00] The three goals of IFS [19:00] Changing your relationship with your inner critic [22:00] Richard's thoughts on co-regulation [35:00] Is healing on your own realistic? [44:00] Your partner, your "tor-mentor" [49:00] Richard's bits of advice and suggested resources [54:00]    

Did you know around one in ten marriages starts as a long-distance relationship? Connor and Vienna are one long-distance couple on their way to marriage and, as professional mentors, they have many gems of wisdom to share.  Find out what's working for them and see how their insight applies to you!   SHOWNOTES Who are Connor Beaton and Vienna Pharaon? [7:00] Connor and Vienna's love story [10:00] This couple's tips for long-distance couples [20:00] The importance of communication in long-distance relationships [23:00] What does defensiveness say about a person's relationship priorities? [31:00] Balancing autonomy and the desire to be together [39:00] As relationship coaches, what advice do these two have for all couples? [51:00]

Wondering HOW The Relationship School® changes lives? If it's really worth it? Curious why more and more people are saying it's life changing and the best thing they've ever done? In this episode, we hear the honest stories of four Relationship School students, each living different lives with unique challenges. SHOWNOTES Who are these four women? [9:00] How The Relationship School did what therapy could not [19:00] Community & Commitment make it work [25:00] Relationship School and your kids  [28:00] What is LUFU? [36:00] Get in touch with your needs [41:00] Top reasons to enroll [48:00] Contest details:   In order to qualify, you must 1)- be able to fly to Boulder CO on your own, 2) pay $100 (for a $1000 course) 3) have not won anything before. 4) be a member of the private smart couple facebook group   There are 3 big prizes.   1st prize: Free ($100 non-refundable deposit so we know you are in) admission to the Embracing Conflict weekend (value $1000). PLUS, you get to bring a friend for half price! boom! 2nd Prize: $200 toward any relationship class (Must be used by Feb 1st) 3rd Prize: $50 toward a hat, shirt or other merchandise in our store (expires Feb 1st)   Instruction to enter: Record a 1 min video of 1) the most triggering behavior your partner (or past partner) does and 2) how you normally deal with it, and 3) what your question is about how to do it better.   Video must be no longer than 1 minute.

Happy New Year! In this special episode, Jayson shares his candid thoughts on what worked for the Smart Couple Podcast last year, what did not and the changes planned for 2018. We also get Jayson's top ten episodes list from 2017.   SHOWNOTES The Smart Couple Podcast: Reflections on 2017 and Plans for 2018 [4:00] What's The Relationship School Have In Store for 2018? [12:00] Jayson's 2017 Top Ten Episodes List [17:00] Hidden Power Of Conflict – Annie Lalla – SC 88 How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner & Interpersonal Stress – Stan Tatkin – SC 104 The Neuroscience & Power of Safe Relationships – Stephen W. Porges – SC 116 Ayahuasca, Trauma, & Relationships – Dr. Gabor Maté – SC 134 The 4 Freedoms That Develop Masculine Depth & Purpose – Satyen Raja – SC 140 The Trap of Becoming Your Partner’s Therapist – Danielle LaPorte – SC 146 My Wife On How To Repair After A Ruptured Connection – Ellen Boeder – SC 152 Setting Boundaries With Ease, Grace and Love – Terri Cole – SC 156 Interpersonal Neurobiology – Dan Siegel – SC 158 Why Spiritually Developed People Struggle With Monogamy – Ellen & Jayson – SC 176

Wondering what you can learn from a millennial couple? Turns out it's quite a bit! Kiyomi and Joel are a mixed-race millennial couple that discovers how much their culture plays into their relationship. These two high school sweethearts grew up together and their system for growing together as they mature (as we all do) is inspiring. Think where you come from isn't a big part of your love life? Uncertain a couple so young can offer profound wisdom? Prepare to be surprised!   SHOWNOTES:  Kiyomi & Joel’s high school love story [9:00] What is Relationship OCD? [12:00] Joel’s secret for consistent happiness [17:00] Couple discovers being mixed race affects them [21:00] Kiyomi & Joel’s conflict management method [29:00] What’s the secret to balancing work and relationship life? [35:00] Jayson’s advice when planning a wedding [43:00]

Couples that survive the toughest relationship challenges are so impressive! Leahnora and Noah are one of those couples. Cheating nearly tore them apart but they made commitments to change themselves and now they're stronger than ever before. What did they do? How do they handle the baggage of their past? Jayson explores the tough questions here. Also, Leahnora and Noah are still working through some common issues around sexuality and conflict and they share vulnerably about this as Jayson gives some relationship coaching. SHOWNOTES How did Noah handle the cheating? [9:00] Leahnora & Noah’s personal growth paths [15:00] Defensiveness isn’t always bad [25:00] Their open relationship experience [29:00] How Noah & Leahnora’s fighting style [35:00] Trusting love’s message no matter the cost [40:00] Jayson addresses their sexuality struggles [44:00] When you’re both triggered [54:00] Don’t respond with “That wasn’t my intent” [60:00]

 Is your spiritual growth helping your relationship? Are you collaborating with your partner to better yourself as an individual? Or are you going to your corner of the house to meditate all by yourself? Their careers as therapists and decades of mediation experience have lead Jayson Gaddis and his wife Ellen Boeder to multiple spiritual development discoveries. Turns out even the most spiritually advanced amongst us struggle with relationships. Jayson and Ellen also encourage couples to discover how collaboration with a partner in times of stress can strengthen each individual. This episode is full of tips for anyone interested in bettering themselves and their relationship at the same time! Here are a few highlights:   SHOWNOTES How Ellen & Jayson Benefit from Spiritual Practice [2:00] Spiritually Advanced People Struggle With Relationships [10:00] Strengthening Relationship With Dependence [17:00] Calming Down Together [20:00] Where Spirituality Alone Falls Short [25:00] When “Your” Triggers Should Be An “Us” Thing [33:00]   'Win a Chance to be Coached By Jayson' To celebrate my first book, The Smart Couple Quote Book and the Holiday Season, I am giving away 3 big prizes. 2nd place) $200 credit for any of my courses, 3rd place) $30 to be used in the Relationship School store and the Grand Prize is a 45-minute coaching session for you or you and your partner from me! Boom! Who's in? To enter to win you must go to the Jayson Gaddis Fan Page on Facebook and 1. Find the Contest Post 2. Like the contest post 3. Comment on the post with what you love about The Smart Couple Book 3. Share the post and tag 3 friends   AND extra bonus points: For an extra 5 entries into the raffle, post a selfie of you on your social channels with the book tagging Jayson Gaddis OR leave a review of the book on Amazon. If you leave a review, email us a screenshot of your review at info@jaysongaddis.com . Make sure we see the tagged post as well. Send us an email as a back up with a link to your social post.   Contest is open to anyone in the world until December 10 at 11:59p MT. Winners will be announced on the Smart Couple Podcast and Facebook on Wednesday, December 13th.

According to John Gray, women are embracing their masculine side and men their feminine side more than ever before and our new behavior is significantly influencing our biology and the new challenges that we face in our most intimate relationships. John Gray, author of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, says that as gender roles change, so are our hormones, making many relationships ... well, complicated. As Jayson finds out in this episode, John Gray is willing to stir up controversy to prove traditional gender roles and behavior shouldn't be abandoned completely if we want to be physically healthy and happy in our relationships.   SHOWNOTES Who is John Gray? [9:00] Stop the blame game [17:00] Putting on your masculine or feminine "hat" [20:00] Relationships in the era of gender neutrality [23:00] The science behind "male" vs "female" qualities [34:00] Is the angry man a feminized man? [39:00] Pesticides and hormones [43:00] Balancing our male and female sides [54:00] Ladies, venting is good for you [57:00] Changing diet to correct hormonal imbalance [1:09:00]  

The Smart Couple Quote Book is out! This is a relationship book unlike any other. Add tools to your relationship toolbox with just a minute of reading a day. You will learn radically simple ways to avoid pointless fights, have better sex, and build an indestructible partnership. Who is the Smart Couple Quote Book for: - Singles! - Couples! - Friends! - Coaches! - Yoga/Meditation Instructors! - Team Leaders! - Busy People! - Lifelong Learners! - Quote Lovers! and more.... Take a selfie with your Smart Couple Quote Book for our upcoming photo contest!  

Unsure why certain interactions with loved ones get you so upset? Ever struggle to relate to the hardship of others? Psychotherapist Sharon Stanley says the issue could be trauma, trauma you may not even be aware you have. Once we assess our own trauma we can begin exercising our senses and become more compassionate to others. According to Sharon, we owe it to ourselves and to each other to consider the pain in our pasts, only then can we embody true empathy!   SHOWNOTES Who is Sharon Stanley? [6:00] The best ways to connect with a traumatized person [11:00] Interacting with a partner with trauma [16:00] Building strength within the body to address trauma [20:00] The cost of ignoring trauma [25:00] Are you dealing with trauma? [26:00] Is neglect the worst type of trauma? [30:00] The importance of being embodied [35:00]