Relationship Coaching School Podcast

Join me in episode 297 of the podcast for a moving and motivating conversation with Lloyd Fickett, founder of “The Collaborative Way”. We get in deep about life, love and leadership in this one. Shownotes: 3:55 Introduction of Lloyd Fickett 5:55 What is The Collaborative Way? 16:00 Problems that can be solved with The Collaborative Way 24:25 How team leaders can improve their leadership skills 30:00 Steps we can take to make our relationships stronger 41:20 Lloyd's experiences with grief and growth after his wife’s passing  49:30 Action step Useful Links: https://www.collaborativeway.com/ https://learn.collaborativeway.com/

I’m a big fan of esteemed psychologist Dr. Ed Tronick and was stoked to pick his brain in episode 296 of the podcast. Join us for an amazing conversation on The Still Face Experiment, relationship dynamics, his new book and much more. Shownotes: 5:30 Introduction of Dr. Edward Tronick 8:10 The impact on children from mask wearing 11:25 The “Still Face” experiment and its impact on culture 15:25 Understanding mother-child interactions 24:50 Working on our mismatches with others and building security 32:00 How relationship dynamics in the early years impact infants 42:15 The platform of security 45:10 The power of repair in relationships 1:02:50 Co-regulation between children and their mothers 1:14:00 Action step   Useful Links:   https://www.amazon.com/Power-Discord-Relationships-Building-Resilience/dp/0316488879 https://www.umb.edu/academics/cla/faculty/edward_tronick https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0  

In episode 295 of the podcast I continue our race conversation with Michael Taylor and Jon Walton, 2 friends of TRS whose life’s work is to educate others and lift up people of color. Check it out. Shownotes: 4:20 Introduction to Michael Taylor and Jon Walton 7:30 The roots of racism and white supremacy 12:00 Michael and Jon's experiences with racism 20:30 Is the reactivity around these problems necessary? 25:50 What can white people do? 33:25 Why we judge other people based on the color of their skin 41:00 How can white people get involved in supporting anti-racism without white-centering? 45:10 How to engage in challenging conversations around racism? 1:01:50 Is it necessary for white people to apologize to Black people? 1:04:00 Advice to deal with race issues in interracial relationships 1:09:00 About police brutality and how the media portrays Black people 1:16:45 Final thoughts 1:21:55 Action step   Useful Links:   https://www.shatteringblackmalestereotypes.com/ https://www.jontwalton.com/  

As the anti-racism protests and movement continue to spread across our country, I wanted to represent a few Black voices on the podcast to help me/us get involved.   In early 2019, I took a 7-week class for white people on equity, race, and diversity. Louiza “Weeze” Doran, who took time out of her insanely busy schedule right now, was one of my teachers.  I consider her one of my main mentors when it comes to the subject of racism.  Weeze is a coach, educator, political activist, organizer, and strategist, among many other things. She’s in direct action toward moving the system forward to equity, justice, inclusion, and liberation for the Black community. Weeze and I talk about how we’re doing in our response so far after the George Floyd murder, 3 things that white people can do right now to support, and our historical culture of whiteness. She helps me get clear on how to define racism and what it looks like in everyday life, because it’s not always so obvious. She also answers some great questions from my listeners. This is an amazing listen, folks. It will wake you up, may make you uncomfortable (and that’s a good thing -- it means you’re being activated!) and inspire you to look at your own life and take action.   Shownotes: 7:25 Introduction Louiza "Weeze" Doran 10:55 Society's response to George Floyd’s death 19:30 What white people can do to support the anti-racism movement 25:55 Defining racism 32:30 How living in your personal bubble keeps you from understanding other people’s lives and experiences 40:30 How to support the Black community without coming across as condescending 45:30 Where to get news and unbiased information 47:00 Examples of “unchecked white privilege” and covert racism 54:00 How to support Black people at work 56:05 About “white-centering” 59:45: How to talk to kids about racism 1:05:50 Hope about the future 1:11:35 Action step   Useful Links: https://www.accordingtoweeze.com/ https://www.instagram.com/accordingtoweeze/ https://relationshipschool.com/rct/  

As the pandemic continues, one of the most charged topics that’s come up is mask wearing. Many people are wearing them because their area requires it and/or they think it’ll help stop the spread. Others aren’t because their area has more relaxed rules and/or they think it’s holding them back from a much-needed return to normal life. Either way, it’s turned into a divisive issue with people internally or even publicly shaming each other for wearing or not wearing a mask.  This is a prime example of conflict, something that happens in our intimate relationships all the time. We want others to conform to our values and do what we’re doing. But this behavior just isn’t realistic. Join me in episode 293 of the RS podcast to dig deeper into the issue and discuss how we can resolve a lot of the conflict we feel by actively listening to each other and learning about both viewpoints. Useful Links:https://relationshipschool.com/rct/

As a man, I have wrestled with my sexuality most of my life.  That’s why I love it when other men are willing to “go there.”  Here’s another rich conversation with two men getting honest about us guys in the bedroom.  I first spoke to Destin Gerek a few years ago in episode 98 about evolving masculinity, and the man who used to call himself the Erotic Rockstar joins me again in episode 292 to build off that conversation and talk his new book The Evolved Masculine: Be the Man the World Needs & the One She Craves. Click here to listen. We discuss what an evolved man looks like 2020, why some men fear their masculinity, and the vulnerability of embracing the feminine within. We also talk intimately about common male sexuality issues and feeling satisfied not only with our partners, but with ourselves. This is a good one for men AND women -- go check it out!   Shownotes: 2:53 Introduction Destin Gerek 8:05 Masculine and feminine energy 10:00 Why some men are afraid to show their masculine side 11:25 The impact of the #MeToo movement on men 17:00 How men can use their sexuality as a gift for women 24:40 Men must believe they are worthy of sex 27:00 How can men cultivate a healthy sexual relationship? 31:25: What can men do to improve their sexual performance 44:30 How our relationship with our parents affect the relationship with our partners 48:20 How men can be better husbands and a better dads 54:15 Action Step   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/rct/ https://www.evolvedmasculine.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Evolved-Masculine-World-Needs-Craves/dp/1734144106 https://www.facebook.com/groups/relationshipadviceformen/ http://relationshipschool.com/connected

In episode 291 of The Relationship School podcast I spoke with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke, co-founders of Thrive! Inc. coaching and consulting which specializes in resolving conflict in the workplace and using it to fuel greater teamwork and collective creativity. They’ve worked with everyone from tech startups to Fortune 100 companies and have written books on the subject and even started their own podcast.   The two women, also life partners, have pretty incredible life stories and are just as passionate about conflict as I am, albeit in a corporate setting.  We talked about some of their own defining moments with conflict, speaking up to power, the importance of having real conversations, and how embracing conflict, as awful as it can be, can truly be life changing.  Have a listen!   Shownotes: 3:45 Introduccion CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke 12:35 Most common problems for people and teams inside different organizations 16:00 How to start tackling conflict and communication issues inside work teams 25:05 Tools for work teams to improve communication 29:40: How to give and receive feedback from others 38:40 Action step Useful links: https://www.thriveinc.com/ 4063507691: Send a text with your name and Email address, and reply with the word BEAUTY. http://relationshipschool.com/community/ http://relationshipschool.com/connected

Did I choose the wrong person? Are we just incompatible? These are a few of the tough questions many couples ask themselves at some point in their relationship, usually when that blissful honeymoon period ends and real life sh*t begins.  And there’s an even more important question to ask if you are interested in this subject. It boils down to what you both want.  Join me in episode 290 of the RS podcast for a quick but meaningful conversation about incompatibility with me and my wife Ellen. We chat about when incompatibility issues typically arise, why it happens (i.e. when the stress comes in, the truth comes out), and how being different people doesn’t automatically make you incompatible. If you are thinking you and your partner (or ex) might be incompatible, this is a must listen.  Come learn the bigger question we need to ask ourselves about our partners and if the relationship is right for you.   Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/connected

The brain is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? Our brains are what shape us as human beings, but do you ever wonder what’s shaping your brain? Join me in Episode 289 as I chat with neuroscientist Dr. Judy Cameron about her breakthrough research into the brain and how we as adults can help our children have sturdier brain development (this is so important for our future). In the past, brain development was thought to be mainly due to genetic programming, but Dr. Cameron shares how it’s actually life experiences from the time you’re born onward that play a larger role. That means giving our children healthy experiences right now is key for them to build the best brains possible! Come listen and prepare for some mind-blowing stuff!   Shownotes: 3:50 Introduction Dr. Judy Cameron 12:30 Where are we at as a society on rising kids 16:45 Does trauma inhibit brain development? 21:50 Understanding what causes some kids to have social issues  36:45 How can kids learn new and better habits or skills? 41:10 “Flexibility” as a necessary tool for adults to help theirs kids learn 46:30 The importance of building emotional skills at early ages 53:40 Getting “stuck” is related to learning difficulties 1:00:15 How can we strengthen our brain as adults Useful Links: http://workingforkids.com/ judycameron@workingforkids.com http://relationshipschool.com/connected

Making love is a pretty straightforward act, but man do we love to make it complicated. How society views sex has always been messy and made wose -- hold your gasp of surprise here -- for women.  It’s about time we ditch this double standard, right? Join me as I chat with relationship expert and Relationship School Ambassador Dr. Alexandra Solomon about sexuality, relational self awareness and all the complexities of sex (and boy there are a lot of them). We discuss how the resurgence of the #MeToo movement in 2017 was the final push she needed to write her new book Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want. Dr. Solomon, also the author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want, wanted to add her voice and contribute to this new chapter in conversations around gender, power and sex. Come listen as we talk more about the inspiration behind her writing and what women can do to discover their own unique erotic expression.    Shownotes: 3:10 Introduction Dr. Alexandra Solomon 10:40 About relational self-awareness 14:00 Lessons learned while writing her book 17:30 Guidance for young people about their sexuality 21:05 Women getting in touch with their own sexuality 23:15 At what point should parents have conversations about sexuality with their daughters 28:00 Differences on how society perceives female masturbation 31:50 What can men do to help women explore their sexuality 35:20 How men’s sexual performance is used to define manliness 37:40 Your feelings are data and you can learn from them 39:20 Advice for married couples on how to keep their sex life alive 43:15 The spiritual side of sex 47:20 Action Step Useful Links: Book: Taking Sexy back Dr Alexandra Solomon on Instagram Dr Alexandra Solomon on Facebook Dr Alexandra Solomon's website http://relationshipschool.com/connected