Relationship Coaching School Podcast

Here’s a scenario: You and your partner had a fight or disagreement. You want to talk about it;  they don’t. Hmmm. How do you deal?  In this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you a few tips for you avoidant-types on how to deal with your partner who always wants a connection or wants to talk about it.  Here’s a critical question I ask space-takers to think about:    Does withdrawing relieve my partner or not? In other words, is my space-taking helpful to my partner and good for our relationship?  Listen in as we unpack this question.   Shownotes: 0:50: Distancing in relationships 6:25 Establishing a time limit on the time you take for yourself 10:30 Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training  

Did you know when males have an emotive experience, two parts of the brain lights up? And when females have an emotive experience, nine parts of the brain light up? You’re probably thinking, why just two parts with men and nine parts with women?  If you’re interested in brain differences that boys and girls experience from the time they start school throughout adulthood, you’ll want to check this out:  This week, New York Times best selling author of "The Wonder of Boys: What Parents, Mentors and Educators Can Do to Shape Boys into Exceptional Men” examines the inner life of boys; their physical, socio-emotional, and neurological development.  Michael believes that to improve male sensitivity in America, parents should adopt bi-strategic and multi-strategic parenting styles and raise boys (and girls) with resiliency, purpose, and doing emotive development that fits their sensitivity. Shownotes: 3:05 Introduction Michael Gurian 5:20 Brain differences in education 10:10 Why men struggle more with therapy than women 21:50 How does empathy work inside the brain 27:00 How to raise boys in this day and age 34:15 What parents should keep in mind when rising girls 41:35 Action Step   Useful Links: https://gurianinstitute.com/events/gurian-winter-institute-2021/ https://relationshipschool.com/training  

What happens when you’re in a relationship with someone who’s dealing with depression and is being distant? Should you stay or should you give them an ultimatum?  In this week’s podcast, that was just one of the questions I answered from one of our listeners' posts in the Relationship School Facebook group.  I covered a lot of ground in the sex and relationships category from polyamorous relationships in the context of post-betrayal to dealing with relationship dissatisfaction. Some pretty intense stuff.  Here’s one of the other questions I answered in this new podcast:  No one talks about the sex slowing down in a long-term relationship. What is healthy and normal and what is not? If you want to know the answer to this question and more relationship advice, I invite you to listen to my new podcast.  Check it out. Shownotes: 1:30 Being in a relationship with someone who takes anti-depressives 5:45 Being the one who always takes the initiative to work on the relationship 8:45 Can polyamorous relationships solve partnership problems? 11:45 Benefits of men being part of a men’s group 13:35 Sex frequency in long term relationships 15:15 When can being too demanding cause dissatisfaction? 19:50 Supporting each other in conflicts with other people https://relationshipschool.com/training

Somatic Abolitonist, Resmaa Menakem, shares a true story about racial discrimination between the police and his family.  He also challenges the hell out of me.  Man, this was a good one, very intense. I learned a ton.  I continue to learn about how me, as a white heterosexual male, can improve in the area of race, equity and diversity.  This is a pretty charged episode. Trigger warning.  Check it out. Shownotes: 5:25 Introduction Resmaa Menakem 9:35 Fearing racism deep-rooted in society 15:05 The necessary work to make a shift in society 21:30 How white people can address racial problems and understand black people 34:00 How trauma stays in people’s bodies and transforms through time 35:00 Cultural baggage 37:20 Racism manifested in police agencies 49:05 Diversity, equity, and inclusion trainings 58:10 What does the work of healing cultural trauma looks like for white people 1:11:35 How training black people differs from training white people 1:21:50 Action step Useful Links: https://www.resmaa.com/ https://www.instagram.com/resmaamenakem/?hl=en https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/

We continue our discussion from last week’s podcast with my wife Ellen on attachment dynamics. This week, writer Bethany Saltman, author of a "Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment” breaks down her own experience with attachment after diving head first in the research. If you are unsure if you are “secure” or “insecure” and how that might impact your adult partnership or future family, you’ll want to check this out.   Shownotes: 3:25 Introduction Bethany Saltman 9:45 Bowlby & Ainsworth’s Attachment Theory 21:30 Bethany’s relationship with her daughter 27:00 Understanding attachment theory to improve parenting 32:40 Teenagers' bad behavior 35:50 Thoughtful and deeper relationships through attachment theory 47:35 Action step

Here’s a scenario: You want to talk about something that is bothering you, but your partner tells you they need some time to think and walks away. You end up feeling frustrated and ignored for the rest of the day. Sounds familiar, right? Then this new podcast will shed some serious light on this dynamic. If you are interested in attachment dynamics, you’ll appreciate this podcast. My wife Ellen and I answer some of your questions about attachment styles posted directly from our Instagram followers   Shownotes: 4:10 Understanding and healing what pushes your partner away 9:05: Working together with others who have a different attachment style 16:50: Willingness to work on yourself and with others 19:50: What if you or your partner struggle with being empathetic 25:00 Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/

Using psychedelics to resolve trauma wasn’t something I was aware of when I first started experimenting over 30 years ago. The research has exploded as well as the positive outcomes for people with PTSD.  In this interview, I speak to one of the leading authorities on psychotherapy and psychedelics, Rick Doblin. Rick is such a trail-blazer.  If you have questions about how “safe” or “effective psychedelics are for your healing journey, this is a must listen. We cover MDMA, psilocybin, LSD, and ayahuasca.    Shownotes: 4:00 Introduction Rick Doblin 10:50 How to handle bad experiences with psychedelics 13:55 Using psychedelics recreationally and facilitators for growth 33:30 Experimental studies about the use of psychedelics 47:45 Psychedelics and psychotherapy 1:00:30: Using psychedelics alone vs. doing it with others 1:11:15 Action Step

When you were young, did you know how to work through conflict? Were the adults involved at all or was it more of a “hands off” situation? Whatever you went through as a kid, there’s another way.  My belief is that if we raise kids in a good way, and teach them how to work through their differences, we’ll have a brighter future. My family and I wanted to record this podcast to show you what’s possible when kids have conflict. This is an unscripted conversation with my kids. Check it out here Shownotes: 3:20: Conflict between children 8:30: Tips for resolving conflict 16:00: When can adults intervene? 21:30 Taking a break and spending time alone 26:45: Using humor to resolve conflicts Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/

A lot of couples fight about money. Money has a lot of charge for most of us. That’s why I wanted to interview Ken Honda about how we can improve our relationship to money. Ken has written dozens of books and has tons of advice for you about money and how you can increase wealth and connection. I think you’ll enjoy this one.   Shownotes: 4:05: Introduction Ken Honda 12:10: Why is there pain and fear around money 16:00: Finding out who you are in order to have a better relationship with money 24:40: The relation between emotional intelligence and financial intelligence   31:00 Happiness and money 35:25: Money and generosity 39:00: How to relax our body and mind around money 43:00 Money advice for couples 47:40: Rising kids with financial intelligence 1:00:40 Action step   Useful Links: https://kenhonda.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/community/ https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ Text me (USA): 7207044850

If you are single, I got some feedback from a lot of people on this. They helped me ensure that these are in fact, 3 of the biggest myths around being single. Would love your input. Take a listen and leave a comment on social, or below in the blog/podcast post. Shownotes: 4:45: Myth # 1 6:30: Myth # 2 8:25: Myth # 3 12:20: Action step   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/connected/ Text me (USA): 7207044850