Relationship Coaching School Podcast

How do you deal with past traumas that get triggered in your daily life? Are you unsure why certain interactions in your current relationship get you so upset?  This week, trauma legend Dr. Peter Levine joins me in a discussion where we dive deep into how his somatic experiencing method helps with the healing of trauma and other physiological and stress disorders.  If you’re interested to learn about a body-oriented and neurobiological approach to healing trauma, I invite you to listen to this one. Shownotes: 2:35 Introduction Peter Levine 6:30 What differentiates people who can overcome trauma and find meaning on it 15:55 Practical tools you can use to help others and yourself to heal trauma 26:35 The importance of listening to your body 33:15 Being present and experiencing emotions as passive observers 46:20 The relation between trauma and feeling angry 49:40 Are past generations stronger than new ones? 52:35 Recreating traumas as a way to heal them 1:02:05 Action step     Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/1024/video-peter-levines-secret-to-releasing-trauma-from Books: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/se-books Ergos Institute (his primary company now): SE student Master Classes, Public Courses, and FREE SE resources: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/ergos Somatic Experiencing Institute: 8-module Professional SE training, Intro to SE, and educational webinars: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/se-trauma-institute

What happens when someone you care about gets difficult to handle? Let's say they raise their voice at you or give you the silent treatment. Whatever triggers you, you get upset because they're behaving in an upsetting way.  So, how do you deal? What do you do? Our reaction speaks volumes about how we do relationships.  In this week’s podcast, I answered this question from one of our listeners' posts in The Relationship School Facebook group:  Can you explain the distinction between being calm and regulated?  If you want to know the answer to this question and get tips on how to self-regulate, I invite you to listen to my new podcast. Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training

Our modern society presents us with the mythology that answers these philosophical questions like "Who am I?" or "What’s my purpose in life?” But once we answer all those questions through the story of separation, then what is the alternative? What does interbeing mean to you?  This week, author Charles Eisenstein, joins me in a very interesting discussion on how his journey of personal growth played an important role in his development and influenced his body of work on separation and interbeing.  Much of Charles' work draws on ideas from Eastern philosophy as he lived in Taiwan for nine years. The main goal of his work is to make you become aware of your own "story of interbeing.” If you’re interested in interdependence and your connection to the world, you’ll want to check the podcast: Shownotes: 4:15 Introduction Charles Eisenstein 11:10 Defining interbeing and separation 17:30 How separation creates disconnection in our lives 27:00 How deep relationships can help individuals and society 37:15 Communication crisis and lack of empathy 42:40 How to overcome being in a victimhood position   53:45 Framing problems in an “us" vs "them” mentality 59:20 Action Step Useful Links: https://charleseisenstein.org/ https://relationshipschool.com/training

If you’re single and dating, are you tired of all the dating apps in our swipe-right culture? This week, John Kim LMFT, better known as the Angry Therapist, joins me in a very interesting discussion about his life after getting divorced that transformed his journey in becoming a therapist and coach. We also talked about John’s new book, “Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.” He wants you to prioritize your relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful life. If you’re interested in dating and relationship tips, you’ll want to check this podcast. Shownotes: 4:20 Men and therapy 9:00 John Kim’s background and childhood 16:55 Dealing with racism in John’s early years 20:30 How his divorce pushed John to start getting interested in therapy 28:00 Understanding parenting through experience 31:50 Working as a coach in this day and age 36:25 About John’s new book “Single on Purpose” 37:55: Dating and friendship advice 45:20 Final advice 46:40 Action Step   Useful Links: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/ https://twitter.com/angrytherapist https://relationshipschool.com/training

Did you know I took my son on a 5-day father’s son wilderness survival trip a few months ago?  It was so amazing. And, did you also know connecting with nature by just taking a brisk walk at your local park is good for improving your mental health and emotional well-being? Just stepping away from my phone and laptop for 5 days was the kind of digital detox I needed.  Back when I was lost in my life, nature was always there for me. Nature is a big family value of ours. That’s why I wanted to take my son on this powerful trip. Good nature time, good father-son bonding time. Our guide on the trip was so solid, I wanted to have him on the podcast to share more of why it’s so key to get outside. This guy has a ton of experience and it was so great to jam about nature, connection, and purpose.  If you’re interested to know how immersing in nature can expand your awareness and find your true calling, you’ll want to check out the podcast.  Shownotes: 3:50 Introduction Tim Corcoran 6:15 The importance of having a connection with nature 13:20 Connecting with yourself through nature 19:45 Giving back and helping others to create a connection with nature 24:25 First steps towards finding your purpose 30:20 Listening to yourself and your emotions 38:50 The father-son / mother-daughter experiences 49:15 Advice for people who want to reconnect with nature and themselves 56:45 Action Step Useful links: https://www.twineagles.org/ https://www.purposemountain.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/training  

As 2020 winds down, what are you hoping to see what happens in the new year with your relationship? Maybe you want to rekindle the romance. Or maybe you want to start a family. Whatever your hopes and dreams are for the new year, in this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you four important questions to start the new year. Here is one of the questions: Why are you together? In other words, what is the purpose of your relationship? Listen in as we unpack this question along with the other three. Shownotes: 0:45 4 questions to find the purpose of your relationship 3:30 Why are you in a relationship with your partner? 7:35 What do you want from your relationship? 9:30 Where do you want to go in your relationship? 11:25 How are you going to get where you want to be?   Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training

Did you know the longest study conducted by Harvard University on human behavior found that the single biggest determining factor of a well-lived life was based on the quality of relationships the participants had? In today’s podcast, I give a few more examples of human behavioral studies showing how relationships affect the overall quality of life. I also give tips on how moving forward with your relationships with yourself and others are going to fit into all the challenges that lie ahead in the new year. https://relationshipschool.com/training

Ever wonder what makes a successful couple? This week, my wife and I welcome back a returning guest Christine Hassler (and her partner!).We hosted this fun Q&A related to growth in relationships, marriage & raising kids. Here’s one of the questions we answer in this podcast: What should I do if I'm growing, but my partner isn't? If you want to know the answer to this question, I invite you to listen to this interesting podcast. Shownotes: 3:25 Introduction Christine Hassler and Stefanos Sifandos 5:00 How Christine and Stefanos met and the evolution of their relationship 18:10 Deciding to commit to a long-term partnership 21:25: How being involved in self-development jobs affects their relationship 28:55 How having kids impacted their relationship 31:55 Dealing with taking care of others instead of yourself 38:45 How does it feel to work with your partner 50:00 What to do when you are putting in the work but your partner is not 57:45 How the pandemic impacted their family dynamics 1:09:20 Action Step Useful Links: https://stefanossifandos.com/ https://christinehassler.com/ https://relationshipschool.com/training  

Dr. C. Sue Carter, an author and expert in attachment and bonding, unveils the fascinating role of oxytocin, often dubbed the "Love Drug." She explains how this hormone acts as a vital glue in long-term relationships and its impact on pair bonding and emotional safety. The conversation dives into the evolutionary significance of oxytocin, highlighting its influence on both men and women. Dr. Carter also shares actionable steps to enhance oxytocin levels for healthier connections, emphasizing the importance of physical touch and nurturing interactions.

In this week’s podcast, my wife Ellen and I continue the discussion on attachment dynamics and give tips for all you ‘pursuers.’  If you are the pursuer in your relationship who always wants to connect with your partner, especially under stress and anxiety, we want to help you learn how to communicate your need for connection better so you don’t drive the other person further away. Here are two very important questions I ask all couples to think about:    Do we want the same kind of relationship? What do you really want out of the partnership?  Listen in as we answer these questions.  Shownotes: 1:45 Being there for yourself 5:20 Understanding your partner’s position 8:40 Letting your partner know that you care and want to understand them 11:35 Don’t expect others to behave as you want them to 13:20 You and your partner should act as a team 18:25: Action Step Useful Links: https://relationshipschool.com/training https://relationshipschool.com/dipr