Embracing Intensity

I've been hearing a lot more comments lately along the lines of "I relate to your work, but I'm not really gifted." In this episode of Embracing Intensity, I discuss why gifted folks might not recognize their own gifts and some resources to explore if you suspect you might be gifted.  In this episode: 5 Reasons gifted folks might not think they are really gifted. My own experience and why I actually believed it despite underachievement. 3 of my favorite books & resources to explore potential giftedness. Links: Your Rainforest Mind, Paula Prober The Gifted Adult, Mary-Elaine Jacobsen PsyD Searching For Meaning, James Webb Embracing Intensity Community Free Workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity

I’m excited to share today’s show with you. My guest has an interesting perspective as an obviously gifted person who has dyslexia. Her experience is fascinating, but there is so much more to her story and work. Join us! Brenda Bryan is a kickass inspirational speaker and The Diviner of Human Potential. As a transformational coach and Mastermind facilitator, she supports women to unmask and nurture their genius, empowering them to live in the strength of their passion. Teaching through the Raise Your Voice Speaker’s Club, one-on-one workshops, and stages around the country, Brenda demonstrates authentic, warm-hearted humor with a deep wealth of knowledge of the importance of communication in feminine power. Brenda began working in her passion of building community and supporting women in the early 70s. Graduating with a degree in communications, she became active in the women’s movement. Through her activism, she acquired lasting skills in group processing, facilitation, and leadership. She facilitates ritual and teaches sacred art through drum-making and other creative works. For the past 45 years, Brenda has continued to build her toolkit to support women’s empowerment. Most recently, she was inspired to be the founder and CEO of It Must Be Said Productions, which is a platform for stories that need telling, a venue for social change. She believes the weaving together of creativity, innovation, and invention invites future visioning.  Show Highlights: Why Brenda is intensely passionate about feminism, helping women claim their place at the table, communication, ritual, and loving and nurturing ourselves Why Brenda’s personal brand of intensity involves anger over injustices and inequalities in our social order and environment, along with radical self-care and a questioning of authority Why Brenda wasn’t well-liked as she grew up because she would speak up and call people out Her learning challenges included trouble with reading, spelling, and writing due to dyslexia and being told she wasn’t “smart enough” How Brenda has seen positive outcomes from her journey with new possibilities as a  creative thinking problem solver How bigotry and prejudice against gay relationships set a tone for how and where she expressed herself How Brenda had to reinvent how she shows up and expresses herself in a “conscious becoming” How her intensity gets out of control when it’s heightened in relationships when boundaries are violated, but she has learned to manage and direct her passion and anger How Brenda uses her fire to help other women who are looking to become more How Brenda harnesses the power of her intensity with consistency of thought as she evolves as a human who adventures and takes risks in becoming How the personal habits of meditation, drumming, ritual, and spending time in nature help Brenda The best advice she ever received is two-part: “Stand up when you fall down,” and “There are no mistakes, only opportunities to learn.” Books that have influenced Brenda: Learning to Heal Yourself by Louise Hay, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill How Brenda helps others by loving people where they are and helping them go where they want to go Parting words from Brenda: “Embrace your intensity. There is an infinite purpose in who you are and what you bring to the table.” Resources: Connect with Brenda: www.brendarbryan.com Email: brendarbryan@gmail.com Phone: 503-728-8700

A couple of weeks ago I participated in an event called Camp ADHD, where folks around the world shared talks and discussion on topics related to ADHD. I spoke about twice-exceptionality, specifically as it relates to ADHD, and the topic seemed to resonate with a lot of folks, so I decided ot share it on the podcast as well!  In this episode: Why the topic of twice exceptionality is important to me.  Why it’s important to talk about twice exceptionality. Why it often goes overlooked. How to recognize when you might be both gifted and ADHD. Common themes from assessing 2E ADHD students. Strategies that might help if you fit this profile.  Links: Camp ADHD on YouTube Embracing Intensity Community Free Workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity

My guest today is twice exceptional and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. She’s super vocal about many things, including social justice, dressing up as Elsa for storytime, and showcasing her great style. Fortunately for me, she lives in my area, so I hope to meet her in person very soon! Dusti Arab is an entrepreneur and writer who leads the reinvention co., a boutique marketing agency specializing in building platforms and courses for mission-driven women. Dusti is currently writing a book, Braver Than Before: A Roadmap for Investigating Big Life Changes. Show Highlights:   How Dusti is intensely passionate about--everything she believes in! She loves to make sure people have access to what they need, including music and art Her personal brand of intensity includes being opinionated, drawing the right people closer, and setting boundaries How Dusti’s late ADHD diagnosis and twice-exceptionality manifested themselves in her drive to be an overachiever Why Dusti’s company is called the reinvention co. How Dusti grew up in Oregon, in a very white, very backwoods family in which race issues weren’t acceptable to talk about How Dusti loved to escape into another person through musical theater How she looked for other role models other than her mother and even tried a conservative Baptist church that resulted in her atheistic views How her intensity was out of control in her erratic job history and string of unfinished business projects How she went through postpartum depression, which resulted in the most intensity in her life How Dusti uses her fire for good in working with people and firms who help women and minorities get elected, along with bridging gaps caused by systematic injustice How Dusti learned to manage herself through a productivity system How Dusti is busy finishing the first draft of her book Personal habits that help with her intensity are getting enough exercise and time-blocking Regarding advice, Dusti admits that she was told a lot of things over the years that weren’t true--and she realizes it now Books that were helpful for Dusti: The Awakening by Kate Chopin and Everything in its Place by Dan Charnas How Dusti works as an amplifier and connector to build a platform to help women spread their big ideas Dusti’s upcoming event on January 22 Resources: Find out more about Dusti and her work:   The Reinvention Course Mentioned on this Friday: Course Created Live    

This week I wanted to take a moment to share about the upcoming plans I have for the year to help gifted, creative and outside the box thinkers connect and realize their potential.  In this episode: Upcoming topics and speakers for the Embracing Intensity Community. Refreshing my website Adult Learning Assessment and Coaching information.  Creating lots of fun and hopefully useful content. Links: My first Comic! Embracing Intensity Community Patreon Free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

Today’s show focuses on highly sensitive people. My guest loves helping HSPs uncover the layers of conditioning put on them by society and bloom in their uniqueness. Join us to learn more. Julia R. Wild is a bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and trauma educator with a Master’s degree in psychology. She’s also a writing, creativity, and life coach. Her first self-help book for sensitives became an Amazon #1 bestseller, and she’s a TEDxMileHigh Blogger. Julia loves helping highly sensitive and empath children and women find their soulful, powerful voice. Part of her work also helps parents of highly sensitive children better relate to their kids. Julia enjoys disrupting conformity and subverting the dominant paradigms so people can express their unique, sovereign creativity and live extraordinary lives. She is a big believer in writing for healing and embracing the shadow as much as the light. She has two projects slated for publication soon, including her Master’s thesis on autism from a spiritual perspective. Show Highlights: Why is Julia intensely passionate about her creativity, being an “old soul,” helping people find their voice, social justice, equality, and animals How Julia grew up in a household with extreme abuse and dysfunction in Manhattan but attended an all-girls private school How Julia’s personal brand of intensity involves being direct and blunt with a heightened sensory perception of sounds and smells Growing up, Julia’s intensity made everything more pressurized and challenging because of her toxic home and stuffy school How Julia’s cultural factors involved growing up in the rich environment of NYC, which gave her perspective and helped her be open-minded Why Julia has to water down what she says and writes How her intensity gets out of control with things she finds too stimulating How Julia uses her fire for good to help sensitives set boundaries and self-advocate Julia’s Master’s thesis, which gives a new, more balanced perspective to autism How Julia harnesses the power of her intensity with self-care, valuing her capacity for depth, and using her intensity in service to others Personal habits that help Julia are writing, channeling energy, and finding an appropriate use of humor The best advice Julia ever received: From Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are, pay attention the first time.” From the Buddha: “Don’t believe anything because you heard it. Find out for yourself.” “You’ve gotta risk it to get the biscuit.” Books that Julia recommends: Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, Walden, by Henry David Thoreau, Citizen by Claudia Rankine, and The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron How Julia helps others use their fire by “unconditioning” people and undoing the layers of conditioning that have been put on them by society Parting words from Julia: “Honor your sensitivity. If you’re weird or different, stay weird or different. It’s healing to tell your story, so value it.” Resources: Find Julia and her work:  Julia Rose Wild   

This is the final rerun episode for December before we launch into a new season of interviews, solo episodes and amazing guest speakers! Love is the very fabric of the universe, and I get so excited when I see someone using their intensity to spread the love around. My guest this week is Alexandra Loves, and I actually approached a year ago to be on the show. I’m so glad we decided to wait until now, because my connection with Alexandra has grown and bloomed during that time, giving us plenty to talk about! Alexandra is a Love Attraction Coach, Intuitive Spiritual Guide, and Entrepreneur. She is on a mission to catalyze creative power, and use her intuitive spirituality to guide her clients into their best existence. In everything she does, Alexandra is all about harnessing the power of that abundant universal fabric from which everything is made, Love. Today, Alexandra and I are talking about how intensity can be a force for good, for love, and for large-scale transformation. Because of her international upbringing, Alexandra feels comfortable talking to just about anyone. Added to that, she never felt the need for all the labels and stereotypes in the world today, yet the world seems inclined to want to place them on everyone. Rather than let that be the reason for toning herself down, Alexandra has fully embraced who she is and what she stands for. Now she is using her gifts to help people find love, find meaning, and find who they really are. Alexandra is teaching us today how to use our intuition. Once we begin listening, nothing can hold us back, and we can only increase our impact on what is going on around us. Alexandra says it best, “We are changing the world right now.” More in this episode: Alexandra shares why she is so committed to understanding her gifts and using them for a higher purpose. Alexandra is on a search of Absolute Truth, and she is OK with that definition evolving over time. In love, Alexandra embraces the “Wise Beyond Her Years” label. Much of Alexandra’s practice deals with reconciling gender expectations within men and women. Alexandra is on a mission to help us understand the dangers instant gratification. The cultural factors that have shaped Alexandra’s ability to embrace her intensity and her racial identity. The segregation and racial terms that put shackles around Alexandra’s neck. Alexandra toned herself down in terms of dating and intensity. How Alexandra realized she couldn’t tone herself down anymore. Everyone struggles under assumptions and stereotypes, and we need to be aware of that! Alexandra was able to heal from a damaging relationship because of her incredible support system and her own intuition. What habits Alexandra uses to fuel her fire. Alexandra helps women do the hard work of diving deep within themselves. Learn to recognize when you are being diminished. Visit my Embracing Intensity Patreon Page for weekly reflection questions and other self-exploration tools! Links: Alexandra Loves

This December I’m sharing reruns of some of my favorite episodes from 2018. This one is from one of my all time hero’s René Brooks of Black Girl, Lost Keys. She was super amazing when I interviewed her and since then her following has absolutely blown up! I remember being excited for her last Christmas time when she hit 10 K followers on Twitter and now she’s grown exponentially with over 36 K. She’s also lined up a book deal and has a ton of other amazing projects in the works. She’s also created 6 amazing workbooks on topics relevant to folks with ADHD including cleaning, time perception and “Guarding Your Yes,” and added a variety of great products to her store from T-shirts to fidgets and more! She now started gift cards just in time for the holidays. You can find it all on her website at blackgirllostkeys.com What I’m most incredibly grateful to René for is bringing awareness to the topic of Twice Exceptionality. Did you know that you could help somebody by just being honest and transparent about who and how you are? It's such a validating experience to know that somebody really gets you. Today's interview is with René Brooks. René's been a typical ADHD personality for as long as she can remember, losing keys, books, homework, and even her glasses sometimes when they were on her face! Although she was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of eleven, she never received any treatment for it until she was twenty-five. So her experience of learning that she had something real and that it could be worked with, started at that point. Listen in to find out what René has to share today, about growing up as a gifted person with ADHD. René created a blog, Black Girl Lost Keys, with the intention of sharing the experience of receiving a diagnosis of ADHD later in life, while being part of a demographic that is still mostly skeptical about mental illness. ADHD and giftedness are not mutually exclusive, and many people don't realize that, so it was often hard for René to be understood while growing up. Listen in today to hear her talking about the ups and downs of her life growing up with ADHD, and how she channels her intensity, her fire, and her passions. Show highlights: What's lacking in the world of neurodiversity. The similar experiences of people with ADHD within René's particular cultural dynamic. What René Remembers most vividly about being a gifted child. Being understood, and taken in context, has become more important to René than whether she's liked or not by someone. René discusses her ethical stance regarding politics, power, and the abuse of power. René has had to learn to pull herself back at times, as she can alienate people with her 'correctness'. Why René doesn't speak about the experiences of other people. What ally-ship in action really ought to look like. We tend to make things so much more complicated than we need to. René had a difficult time growing up as gifted, with ADHD. People often don't understand that giftedness and ADHD are not mutually exclusive. We really need to make space in the world for people who don't follow convention. The ridicule that can come from not conforming to cultural norms. The story of Henrietta Lacks. The way that black people have been exploited and made to suffer in the past by the medical community. More honesty and transparency in people would ultimately result in less suffering. Links and Resources: René on all social media: Black Girl Lost Keys Black Girl Lost Keys Blog ADHD Essentials Podcast Books mentioned: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, by Rebecca Skloot. Far From The Tree, by Andrew Solomon Embracing Intensity Community Embracing Intensity Store

Continuing reruns for some of my favorite episodes from season 2 for this December! This week, I'm sharing my interview with Kate Arms! I met today’s special guest, Kate Arms, at the SENG conference recently and was so inspired by her talk entitled "Thriving with Intensity: Mining The Magic From Your Overexcitabilities” that I knew Kate would be the perfect fit for the podcast. Kate is a classic overthinker, high achiever, and multipotentialite who exudes intensity. She gets bored easily as evidenced by a career that includes being a lawyer, an arts administrator, a coach to parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids and gifted and twice-exceptional adults, and an Agile Coach in a high tech company. She is an eager student of western secular developments from Buddhist philosophy and practices and the Theory of Positive Disintegration and the author of the Extreme Resilience Workbook, L.I.F.T.: A Coach Approach to Parenting, Unblock: Writing Prompts for Works in Progress, and award winning short stories in the literary fiction and horror genres. She hosts two podcasts: Kate’s Nuggets features short episodes with advice on living well drawn from the worlds of coaching, leadership development, and psychology; Leadership Arts Review features conversations with leadership coaches about books about good leadership and the ideas in them. But what really lights her fire is being silly with her four amazing kids. More in this episode: Kate’s shares details about her personal intensity. Factors that affected Kate’s intensity while growing up Kate describes ways her intensity could feel out of control in the past. Channeling ways of questioning others Using leadership thinking to question self How theater can help intense individuals. No one person will have all the answers for you. Kate’s personal practices The personal passion that fuels Kate's intensity The magic question Resources Mentioned in the Show: How to donate to help keep the podcast going via Patreon website: Thrive With Intensity website: Parents of Twice Exceptional Kids website: Signal Fire Coaching Signal Fire Coaching on Facebook Signal Fire Coaching on Twitter Undoing Depression, by Richard O’Connor Making It All Work, David Allen

This December, I'm continuing the tradition of sharing reruns of some of my favorite episodes, this time from Season 2. This episode is with Arianna Bradford. Since I last spoke to her, Arianna has been busy. She has dissolved the NYAM project and now writes and speaks to groups of parents for a living. Her book, Shame on You, Big Truths from a Bad Mom, was independently released July 7, and it’s been widely regarded as a fun, honest book for parents. She’s currently working on her second book, and is in the midst of relocating to Florida. You can find out more about her book, schedule her for events, and more at: theariannabradford.com Is your personality way too big for most people to handle? And do you find yourself sometimes trying to become smaller than you really are? Today we're super excited to have Arianna Bradford join us on the show! Arianna was the founder and lead editor of the Not Your Average Mom (NYAM) Project, which is dedicated to celebrating strong women outside of the role of motherhood. Arianna really loves to talk and to express the ideas that she has going on in her head. She often found herself trying to curb the amount of talking she did when she was in high school, but it seldom worked for longer than ten minutes. Listen in today to find out what Arianna has to share about her passion and her fire. Arianna was raised in a small town in Florida and spent the first twenty years of her life there. She thought that she would never leave. Due to unexpected circumstances, however, she moved to Texas and stayed there for about six years. During that time, she met her husband and they had two children, Miles and Charlie. Arianna, her husband, and their two young children now live in Happy Valley, Oregon. When she's not busy writing something or photographing people, Arianna enjoys reading, playing video games, or trying to sleep. Listen in today to find out more about Arianna and her brand of intensity. Show highlights: During the time that she was living in Texas, her desire to capture images of her small son rekindled Arianna's interest in photography. Arianna loved the creative direction portion of photography when she started taking photos again, towards the end of 2014. The hard part of photography for Arianna then was that there was not a lot of money to be made from it in Austen. Discovering that she has a passion for working one-on-one with people, as a photographer- especially with women. Arianna's main focus is on helping women realize their own individual power and strength. What growing up was like for Arianna. Arianna was raised to think past what people would tell her. Being raised in a household with the attitude that you may as well be straightforward because people are going to judge you anyway. It took Arianna a long time to realize that sometimes it wasn't her chasing people away. It was their own prejudices and problems that did that. Arianna had to really try to curb her talking at high school, but it seldom worked for longer than ten minutes. Wanting to be smaller than she was. Most people believe that they need to be liked by as many people as possible. An anxious moment that Arianna had back in college when she was struggling socially. An incident that caused her anxiety and OCD to get out of control. Arianna believes that all emotions, even negative ones, can be channeled into something positive. She has made some of her greatest things in times of intense anger or sadness. The NYAM project was born of intense anger in Arianna. There are people who really identify with Arianna's writing. Art has really helped Arianna with harnessing the power of her intensity. Working hard on communication and trying to understand where other people are coming from. Remember that there's nothing wrong with being firey. People don't have to love you and it's okay for your fire to warm some people more than others. Links: Arianna’s Website Arianna’s on Instagram Arianna on Twitter   Embracing Intensity Community Free Harness the Power of Your Intensity Workbook