Embracing Intensity

Continuing reruns for some of my favorite episodes from season 2 for this December! This week, I'm sharing my interview with Kate Arms! I met today’s special guest, Kate Arms, at the SENG conference recently and was so inspired by her talk entitled "Thriving with Intensity: Mining The Magic From Your Overexcitabilities” that I knew Kate would be the perfect fit for the podcast. Kate is a classic overthinker, high achiever, and multipotentialite who exudes intensity. She gets bored easily as evidenced by a career that includes being a lawyer, an arts administrator, a coach to parents of gifted and twice-exceptional kids and gifted and twice-exceptional adults, and an Agile Coach in a high tech company. She is an eager student of western secular developments from Buddhist philosophy and practices and the Theory of Positive Disintegration and the author of the Extreme Resilience Workbook, L.I.F.T.: A Coach Approach to Parenting, Unblock: Writing Prompts for Works in Progress, and award winning short stories in the literary fiction and horror genres. She hosts two podcasts: Kate’s Nuggets features short episodes with advice on living well drawn from the worlds of coaching, leadership development, and psychology; Leadership Arts Review features conversations with leadership coaches about books about good leadership and the ideas in them. But what really lights her fire is being silly with her four amazing kids. More in this episode: Kate’s shares details about her personal intensity. Factors that affected Kate’s intensity while growing up Kate describes ways her intensity could feel out of control in the past. Channeling ways of questioning others Using leadership thinking to question self How theater can help intense individuals. No one person will have all the answers for you. Kate’s personal practices The personal passion that fuels Kate's intensity The magic question Resources Mentioned in the Show: How to donate to help keep the podcast going via Patreon website: Thrive With Intensity website: Parents of Twice Exceptional Kids website: Signal Fire Coaching Signal Fire Coaching on Facebook Signal Fire Coaching on Twitter Undoing Depression, by Richard O’Connor Making It All Work, David Allen

This December, I'm continuing the tradition of sharing reruns of some of my favorite episodes, this time from Season 2. This episode is with Arianna Bradford. Since I last spoke to her, Arianna has been busy. She has dissolved the NYAM project and now writes and speaks to groups of parents for a living. Her book, Shame on You, Big Truths from a Bad Mom, was independently released July 7, and it’s been widely regarded as a fun, honest book for parents. She’s currently working on her second book, and is in the midst of relocating to Florida. You can find out more about her book, schedule her for events, and more at: theariannabradford.com Is your personality way too big for most people to handle? And do you find yourself sometimes trying to become smaller than you really are? Today we're super excited to have Arianna Bradford join us on the show! Arianna was the founder and lead editor of the Not Your Average Mom (NYAM) Project, which is dedicated to celebrating strong women outside of the role of motherhood. Arianna really loves to talk and to express the ideas that she has going on in her head. She often found herself trying to curb the amount of talking she did when she was in high school, but it seldom worked for longer than ten minutes. Listen in today to find out what Arianna has to share about her passion and her fire. Arianna was raised in a small town in Florida and spent the first twenty years of her life there. She thought that she would never leave. Due to unexpected circumstances, however, she moved to Texas and stayed there for about six years. During that time, she met her husband and they had two children, Miles and Charlie. Arianna, her husband, and their two young children now live in Happy Valley, Oregon. When she's not busy writing something or photographing people, Arianna enjoys reading, playing video games, or trying to sleep. Listen in today to find out more about Arianna and her brand of intensity. Show highlights: During the time that she was living in Texas, her desire to capture images of her small son rekindled Arianna's interest in photography. Arianna loved the creative direction portion of photography when she started taking photos again, towards the end of 2014. The hard part of photography for Arianna then was that there was not a lot of money to be made from it in Austen. Discovering that she has a passion for working one-on-one with people, as a photographer- especially with women. Arianna's main focus is on helping women realize their own individual power and strength. What growing up was like for Arianna. Arianna was raised to think past what people would tell her. Being raised in a household with the attitude that you may as well be straightforward because people are going to judge you anyway. It took Arianna a long time to realize that sometimes it wasn't her chasing people away. It was their own prejudices and problems that did that. Arianna had to really try to curb her talking at high school, but it seldom worked for longer than ten minutes. Wanting to be smaller than she was. Most people believe that they need to be liked by as many people as possible. An anxious moment that Arianna had back in college when she was struggling socially. An incident that caused her anxiety and OCD to get out of control. Arianna believes that all emotions, even negative ones, can be channeled into something positive. She has made some of her greatest things in times of intense anger or sadness. The NYAM project was born of intense anger in Arianna. There are people who really identify with Arianna's writing. Art has really helped Arianna with harnessing the power of her intensity. Working hard on communication and trying to understand where other people are coming from. Remember that there's nothing wrong with being firey. People don't have to love you and it's okay for your fire to warm some people more than others. Links: Arianna’s Website Arianna’s on Instagram Arianna on Twitter   Embracing Intensity Community Free Harness the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

In his book How To Be an Adult, David Richo refers to assertiveness as “owning your own power.” This is so important because one of the best things we can do to increase our energy is to increase our sense of power and reduce our feelings of powerlessness. The most crucial way to do this is by getting clear on what we want and asking for it. In this episode: Assertiveness is owning your own power Passivity is giving your power away. Aggressiveness is changing power to control. You can use the four step STAR (Stop, Think, Act, Request) to communicate assertively. Links: Embracing Intensity Store Embracing Intensity Community Free workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity

Today’s guest made quite an impression on me when I found him on TikTok. His specialty is self-regulation, and he has found inspiring ways to teach his techniques to teachers and parents. Join us to learn more. Chazz Lewis, aka “Mr. Chazz,” is a preschool teacher who currently focuses his talents on teaching teachers to teach. He’s a mentor and motivational speaker who also hosts the podcast, Mr. Chazz’s Leadership, Parenting, and Teaching. Show Highlights: Why Mr. Chazz is intensely passionate about becoming the best version of himself and helping others do the same Why Mr. Chazz teaches self-regulation to parents and teachers Why we need to be careful to not “crush” someone’s superpower How Mr. Chazz’s personal brand of intensity means being in flow with his natural superpowers and giving and receiving energy from others How Mr. Chazz struggled in school, was always trying to catch up, and took ADHD medications that made him feel constricted The interpersonal battle over what people wanted for him vs. what he wanted as his own success How cultural factors affected how Mr. Chazz expressed himself, especially within the framework of his private Catholic school with a very specific discipline and structure The #1 lesson Mr. Chazz has learned: we need to adapt the way we teach to the way children learn instead of expecting them to adapt to the way we teach How Mr. Chazz has to tone down his curiosity by decreasing the number of questions he asks How Mr. Chazz has learned to know his likely triggers in certain situations so he can plan to pause and create a safe environment for his emotions How Mr. Chazz harnesses the power of his intensity through journaling and goal setting How Mr. Chazz helps others use their fire for good by helping them identify their fire The importance of finding your WHY--no matter how the circumstances change Final words from Mr. Chazz: “Spend a lot of time figuring out who you are and what lights you up.” Resources: Mr. Chazz Podcast Mr. Chazz on Patreon Website coming soon at Mr. Chazz Find Mr. Chazz:  TikTok: mrchazzmrchazz Instagram: Mr Chazz Mr Chazz Facebook: mrchazzmrchazz  

This week's episode is brief, with a quick update about my quarantine, exposure to Covid and awaiting our test results.  In this episode: Barriers to early identification. Asymptomatic spread. Even when we follow all the rules, we can still get exposed. 

Today’s show brings inspiration and joy from my guest and her story. She’s doing great things in the world of gifted adults, bringing them together by highlighting their unique qualities. Join us to learn more! Nadja Cereghetti is the host of the Unleash Monday podcast for gifted adults. Based in Switzerland, Nadja has a passion for learning new things, talking to people, science, and all things Marie Kondo. I’m thrilled to have discovered her podcast and to introduce her to you today! Show Highlights: Why Nadja is intensely passionate about gifted adults and empowering women How Nadja’s personal brand of intensity always involved her being “too much” and “too loud” How Nadja learned in school and went through times of failure and times of success The cultural factors that affected Nadja growing up in Switzerland in being white and not being limited by gender Why traditional education isn’t necessary in Switzerland to get a good job or make a good living Why Nadja tones herself down by avoiding alcohol, mainly because no one can handle her uninhibited self How Nadja is able to control her intensity by practicing karate Why Nadja created her podcast to touch people, meet new people, and highlight unidentified gifted adults How the language around giftedness has evolved and developed How Nadja uses coping mechanisms to hide her dyslexia and gain confidence to reject other people’s opinions How Nadja received advice from her stepdad about not fitting in and having your own way of doing things, and why that’s perfectly acceptable How others’ perceptions of you change according to how you dress Books that have influenced Nadja: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee, and The Book of Joy by the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu How Nadja helps others by creating a community and leading by example to show that a bubbly person can still achieve things in life How Nadja suffered from imposter syndrome but has finally discovered who she is and how she can help others Resources: Connect with Nadja and find her podcast Find out more about our EI community and events    The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo  Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee The Book of Joy by the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu  

I wasn’t sure what to talk about for today’s podcast when I happened upon Paula Prober’s newest blog post, Can Gifted Kids Become Ungifted Adults? Hint: No but, read the full post for her take. This got me thinking how I’ve observed as I’ve followed more neurodiverse folks on social media that people will often refer to their own giftedness in past tense and in quotes like “I was a ‘gifted’ kid,” as if giftedness was not something that still affected them now as an adult. I got to speak with Nadja Cereghetti, host of a new podcast for gifted adults called Unleash Monday, and we talked a lot about how a lot of gifted adults either don’t know they are gifted or no longer think they are. In this episode: We often confuse giftedness with achievement, or executive functioning skills. Highly gifted folks don’t always fit the standard achievement picture because their thinking is outside the typical box. Acknowledging our giftedness allows us to connect with our strengths and values to figure out what achievement really looks like for us. Finding ways to support us in our executive functioning and self regulation skills can help us harness our energy in a positive direction. Links: Your Rainforest Mind Blog Unleash Monday Podcast Embracing Intensity Community Free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook

In today’s show, I introduce you to a good friend who has been an anchor for me in creating a community over the last ten years, both in-person and online. Join us! Lana Quackenbush has been part of my Ignite Your Power program for several years, and she frequently joined the monthly Embracing Intensity guest calls last year. I’ve seen from the beginning of our relationship what an amazing person she is and how she’s learning to own the uniqueness of who she is. Lana and I both love helping people find connections in the common experiences of intensity, giftedness, twice-exceptionality, and creativity. Show Highlights: Why Lana identifies as a mixed-race, newlywed, preschool teacher who loves peacemaking and doing the right thing How Lana’s personal brand of intensity revolves around her qualities of being intensely intellectual, perfectionistic, and judgmental Why as a Virgo, Lana has to work on finding balance in many ways Growing up, Lana’s mom told her she was “exhausting,” and she had a hard time sleeping as a sickly child who learned to tune out her body’s signals The cultural factors that added to the “tornado of chaos” in Lana’s biracial, highly social family; it was always stressed to her the importance of “presenting” herself well How Lana learned to tune herself out or tone herself down in light of her mother’s postpartum depression and the realization that her needs weren’t always going to be met How Lana’s intensity gets out of control at times when she is wronged, and her self-righteous indignation kicks in The shift for Lana in finding a relationship that uplifts her intensity in a positive way How Lana uses her fire for good as she spends her days teaching two-year-olds and shows interest in families, children, and their parents Why Lana loves to see the emotional model of raising children reign over the intellectual model How Lana harnesses the power of her intensity by doing yoga and studying Buddhism How Lana follows her varied interests in phases, organizes spaces in her home to meet her needs, and imposes rules for herself about cleaning up one area before moving on Lana’s inspirational to-do list hack: she writes her list on business cards so the list is manageable, and she can feel the satisfaction of checking off each item Why Lana is ever-so-grateful that she followed the best advice she ever received: “Don’t make any permanent life choices before age 25.” Books that Lana recommends: Ishmael by Daniel Quinn and The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield How Lana helps others use their fire by kid-wrangling, making spaces for them, and meeting their needs Why Lana is learning to identify proudly as a person of color Resources:  Ishmael by Daniel Quinn The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield Find Lana on Instagram: ThatLanaLady

We are celebrating our 4th anniversary, 101K downloads! At this rate, I’ll make 200K in ½ the time! Keep sharing and listening so the message of Embracing Intensity can spread to those who need it!  For this week’s special episode, I asked audience and community members to share “What does Embracing Intensity mean to me?” I left it deliberately open ended, and got a wonderful variety of answers ranging from the meaning of the phrase, to the importance of the community. In this episode: Celebrating intensity, and harnessing its power. Tuning in to the messages of our intense feelings.  Finding community that not only accepts, but appreciates your differences.  Links: Embracing Intensity Community Leah K Walsh Coaching Jeff's Peer Support Page Tiffany's Lucy in the Sky: Therapy with a Pen Mezclados Studio Get your free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity Workbook!

As this show airs, we’re reaching two important milestones. We hit the 100K downloads mark, which is thrilling in itself. We also are approaching the fourth anniversary of the Embracing Intensity podcast, which means we’ve been at this for quite a while now! Reach out to me at Aurora Remember and let me know what “embracing intensity” means to you. We will feature these in our upcoming anniversary show next week! For now, enjoy another informative show with my inspiring guest who I've been a fan of for quite some time. Seth Perler’s life’s work has been dedicated to helping kids overcome executive functioning challenges so they can have great futures despite our outdated educational systems. Seth’s mission is to help compassionate and proactive parents, educators, and others who care about kids. He wants to give honest, practical, and unconventional approaches to helping complicated, struggling students without BS or misinformation. He wants to teach the world about executive function, which is at the root of student struggles. Seth’s vision is a day when we don’t need executive functioning coaches because education is wildly successful at empowering all students with everything they need to have happy, healthy, and successful lives. Show Highlights: Why Seth is intensely passionate about helping struggling students and changing educators to understand these kids better How Seth grew up as a curious, free-spirited kid who loved animals and nature but never fit into “the box” in school How Seth was labeled as a lazy, irresponsible failure--and his “fire was squelched” How Seth became a teacher of gifted kids but soon became frustrated with the system How Seth’s personal brand of intensity loves nature and the environment and feels the suffering of other people, animals, and plants Why Seth hates to see kids struggle to be understood How Seth is intense with his sensory experiences and emotions How kids’ feelings are invalidated by cultural factors that teach them that acknowledging their feelings is not OK Why Seth had a hopeless and cynical attitude as a kid, knowing he was “not like the other kids” How Seth learned to escape by going into social settings to avoid being alone Why Seth felt trapped by his “darkness” How Seth lived in his problem until he found the tools to step into the solution How Seth uses his fire for good by teaching what he most needs to learn and using what he has struggled with to help others How Seth harnesses the power of his intensity through meditation, the #1 way he understands himself Seth’s advice to those who don’t think they can meditate How Seth helps kids learn to shine through new mindsets, systems, and routines Seth’s advice: Focus on helping others with a heart and spirit of service Meditate and have times of stillness Learn to journal Get in touch with your story to know what is BS and what is truth Resources: Connect with Seth:   Seth Perler  and Executive Function Summit   Find Seth on YouTube and his podcast, Learn Smarter.