Embracing Intensity

I met today’s guest through the neurodivergent community on Twitter. Join us to learn more about his inspiring story. Joseph Gitau is a writer, singer, and blogger who has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar I. With his childhood and youth being spent between his native Kenya and the US, he has a unique perspective about how neurodivergence is treated differently in both countries. Joseph uses his talents to promote mental health throughout his creative outlets. Show Highlights: Why Joseph is intensely passionate about mental health and the arts How Joseph’s personal brand of intensity includes music and twice-exceptionality How Joseph’s journey of discovery through school was difficult because he was an introvert How the Kenyan tradition of children being “not seen and not heard” was very difficult for Joseph as an ADHD music-lover who always wanted to sing and play music Joseph’s years in Kenya and the US, and how his ADHD and bipolar diagnosis came about How Joseph has to tone himself down--even today How Joseph’s intensity got out of control when he dropped out of university, and he didn’t know what to do next Why Joseph does the important work to break the taboo around ADHD and promote mental health awareness Why Joseph’s writing includes interracial characters How celebrities represent neurodiversity to the world Why society uses labels to put people in different boxes How Joseph came to accept his neurodivergence The mixed feelings around neurodivergence, superpowers, white privilege, and economic privilege How Joseph uses his fire for good through his blog where he talks about the educational system, neurodiversity, and how marginalized people are affected Joseph’s plans for the future How Joseph harnesses the power of his intensity through yoga and learning to balance structure and flexibility Joseph’s parting advice: “Don’t worry about tomorrow. Nothing is set in stone except what you did yesterday. Do what’s right by you, and people will respect you.” Resources: Find Joseph Gitau on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.

Today’s conversation is with a creative who has overcome obstacles to find her place in the world where she isn’t afraid to be seen and heard. She helps others connect and engage, no matter how they have been “othered” by society, and she has learned how to effectively use her superpowers. Join us to learn more about making the world a brighter place for us all. Jen Sujin Yoon is a creative consultant, storyteller, people-connector, and future-builder. We met on TikTok and immediately vibed with each other’s content. Jen is starting a new adventure as she launches The Dork Web Production Company. She lives in the Bushwick community of Brooklyn and loves this “cool hood” filled with passionate artists. Show Highlights: Why Jen is intensely passionate about connecting people and using The Dork Web as “a light corner of the web where people meet and are inspired to make the world a brighter place.” How Jen’s personal brand of intensity involved her awareness of how “it all comes together” in her characteristics of being highly sensitive, neurodivergent, and 2E How Jen’s intensity was always shut down as she grew up as a Korean-American having to live according to metrics and expectations; she turned to art, comics, fiction, and pop culture as forms of escapism In Jen’s school experience, she was bookish and in the gifted program, but she never felt like she fit in or was good enough at school or at home Why toning down and tuning out was just how Jen learned to live, and she’s only recently learned to own her space and put her voice and face out there to be heard and seen How Jen learned to make herself small to try to fit in and be a people-pleaser--these were her survival skills How Jen felt “othered” in many ways but wants people to feel like they belong How Jen’s intensity becomes out of control in her moments of “Hulk-smash” crazy anger How Jen compares her ADHD to superpowers that make her loud and proud Why Jen views her past traumas as what has developed her into who she is today Why Jen wants to normalize ALL emotions How Jen uses her fire for good as she uses her interdisciplinary experience and embracing leadership to help promote others and their work that aligns with her values How Jen harnesses the power of her intensity as she watches her younger sister (whom she mothered) grow up and have awareness of the world’s realities Why Jen explains her childhood narcissistic trauma as “death by a thousand paper-cuts” Jen’s advice: “Even if you're a problem-solver and leader, you still have to take care of yourself and not be a martyr. No one is coming to save you---you have to save yourself.” Resources: Find The Dork Web on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram. Website coming soon at The Dork Web

We had our first neurodivergent book club on Saturday, and one of the things we talked about was the complexity of labels. On the one hand, they serve as a tool to get information, support and connect with others, but it can also serve to separate us into "us and them" if we're not careful.  In this episode: Why I avoided using the terms gifted and twice exceptional for so long, and why it's helped to finally use them.  Just because we can get by without a label, doesn't mean it wouldn't be helpful.  Being in both parent and neurodivergent adult spaces, parents are hesitant to label kids with disabilities, but not giftedness, while adults wish they'd gotten disability diagnoses sooner and often dislike the gifted label.  Links: Embracing Intensity Community Free Workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity

Today’s show is all about taking a holistic approach to achieve balance and take back control of your life. Join us to learn more. Zarya Rubin is a physician and functional medicine health coach. She is a formerly stressed-out mom who now helps women in mid-life get to the root of their health issues and manage their stress to take back control of their lives. Show Highlights: What is stress? The relationship between stress, control, and our response to stressors The body’s primal response: fight, flight, or freeze Zarya explains her self-care graphic and gives factoids about stress How unmitigated stress often leads to burnout Personality traits that make you prone to burnout: being a workaholic, superhero, perfectionist, or lone ranger Common stressors in daily life are work, family, life events, health, finances, change/loss, and pandemic stress, which all of us have experienced in the last several months How stress CAN be a positive thing that motivates us to accomplish daily tasks How women can reduce stress levels by sharing with others and finding community Three types of stress: acute, episodic, and chronic The gut/brain connection and how stress affects it How to prevent stress, manage stress, and build resilience: Use stress-busting techniques. Take care of the basics. Use a checklist, speak up, and practice self-care. Practice breathing techniques, meditation, and mindfulness. What self-care is Types of rest: physical, mental, social, sensory, emotional, spiritual, and creative Zarya gives examples of breathing exercises and meditation that you can try at home Tips for good health habits for those with executive functioning impairments Resources: Find out more about Zarya and her work, and find her FREE Guide to Becoming Stress-Proof: Wild Lilac Wellness

The foundation of my work on my blog and podcast has been about intensity, and it's origins came from my work on excitability, also known as over excitability. Excitability is when you receive and respond the world more intensely than others.  In this episode: Excitability as a sign of high developmental potential The 5 areas of excitability Using your strengths Links: Free workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity! Embracing Intensity Community

Today’s show is with yet another intriguing person I met on TikTok. I’m especially interested in her experience with twice-exceptionality and the work she’s doing in TV. Shadi Petosky is an Emmy winner and Wendy’s Employee of the Month-winning TV showrunner. She co-created and showran the Emmy-winning Danger and Eggs for Amazon Prime Video, which was also a Critics Choice and GLAAD nomination. She executive produced Twelve Forever for Netflix and the upcoming live- action, gender-bending sci-fi series Forever Alone with Adaptive Studios. She most recently directed the live-action comedy pilot, Let’s Go Atsuko for Quibi, and her show, Pretty Cursed, is in development at Circle of Confusion TV. She was the animation supervisor for all 72 episodes of the hit show Yo Gabba Gabba. Show Highlights: Why Shadi is intensely passionate about making stuff like comics, art, games, designs, visual effects, and TV writing Why Shadi’s personal brand of intensity is “clownish with a Willy Wonka vibe” How Shadi grew up living a series of ADHD cliches, being a daydreamer and a nerd later in high school who loved theater and clubs In school, Shadi was bullied a lot and involved in many fights; she stayed in trouble, was an extrovert, and says she was never anyone’s favorite person Cultural factors that affected Shadi include growing up in rural Montana and then a military kid who lived an isolated and classless existence in remote areas Why Shadi’s childhood affected what she thought was possible in pursuing dreams How Shadi didn’t have to tone down or tune herself out as a kid, but has had to learn as an adult to handle conflict, deal with people, and tackle her intense irritability How Shadi has handled her executive functioning issues in managing other people How Shadi uses her fire for good in making TV shows with queer kids and doing fulfilling work that matters, especially when it comes to justice sensitivity What Shadi has noticed about the evolution of TV shows in the representation of trans folks and other marginalized groups How Shadi’s creativity was affected by the pandemic and quarantine How Shadi harnesses the power of her intensity by making lists, going to therapy, DBT, and new medications; she has also tried to cut down on stressful jobs and prioritize leisure time How Shadi helps others use their fire by helping young writers, teaching, and working with kids Why it’s tough to be vulnerable online

I once again had other plans for this episode but I realized I've hit survival mode for the school year. Every year since 8th grade, I've had what I called Spring Fever when I'd crash at the end of the school year. I've come to realize that it's the fatigue that comes from over taxing my executive functioning skills for too long.  Add a pandemic, last minute taxes, aging hormones, unfavorable med change and adapting to my son's new schedule getting up earlier Mondays, and my brain's pretty much toast today! In this episode:  My creativity and new thought currently dried up Meds are like brain glasses Giving grace through the end of school I'm opening up some 1:1 spots for coaching and adult learning assessment  An exciting collaborating to revamp my website with more info on how that looks this summer! Threadless sale 15% off and just added all of Jays Workshop squirrel merch! Call recording for Breaking the Stress Cycle available in the Embracing Intensity Community Next call on Asyncronous Dev in Gifted Adults with Tiffany Chhuom  

Today’s guest had all the markers of traditional success, an Ivy League Education, letters after her name and a well paying career, but she realized she was miserable because she was not being authentic to herself. She broke out of the medical system to help people in a more holistic way. Join us! Dr. Zarya Rubin is a Harvard-educated physician and certified health and wellness coach who is passionate about helping people heal through functional medicine. She partners with her clients to get to the root cause of symptoms and create a roadmap to wellness. Show Highlights: Why Zarya considers herself a “multipotentialite” who is passionate about many interests and has engaged her entrepreneurial qualities in many varied careers How Zarya’s love of opera singing has fared during the time of COVID Zarya’s personal brand of intensity means that she has always been “a lot,” but seemed like a “garden variety normal intense person” during her time in NYC Why she is intense about political activism and her many passions but has learned to be quieter as she has aged and come into the coaching space, learning to live a slower paced life on the west coast How Zarya’s intensity has transformed over the years as she grew up as a shy and quiet child How the acceleration from kindergarten to 3rd grade in one year led to Zarya’s inner struggle with darkness and anxiety The disastrous outcome of Zarya’s acceleration in school leading her to become a burnt out gifted kid Cultural factors that influenced Zarya stemmed from her very Jewish, very intense, and very loud family How Zarya had to tone down and tune out for decades to make herself more acceptable to women in friendships and men in relationships, which also meant she dumbed down her education and career How Zarya’s intensity never appeared out of control outwardly, but she inwardly dealt with anxiety and PTSD How Zarya uses her relentless pursuit of answers and solutions for the good of her clients and her family How Zarya’s husband helped her gain a new perspective on social media posts What parents of gifted kids really want How Zarya harnesses the power of her intensity by embracing, recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting it How Zarya’s goal as a coach is working with women in midlife to help them find their spark, joy, and passion again Resources: Wild Lilac Wellness Visit Zarya’s website to get her FREE Guide to Becoming Stress-Proof Instagram Wild Lilac Wellness LinkedIn Wild Lilac Wellness  

I've observed a lot of themes around integration and disintegration recently so I thought it would be a good time to do a quick overview of Kazmier's Dabrowski's theory of Positive Disintegration. You can find a more comprehensive overview on ep. 154: On Positive Disintegration with Chris Wells, and my Blog Post “Finding Treasure in Ruins.” Dabrowski believes that intensity/excitability is a sign of high developmental potential, and neuroses, which we might call neurodiversity, anxiety, existential depression etc., can be positive if they move us towards our higher selves.  In this episode: 3 factors of positive development Dynamisms are the inner and outer forces that drive our actions.   5 types of integration and disintegration Resources on integration 5 Types of overexcitability Thoughts on Integration Over identification and/or rejection of certain parts of our identity What is Dabrowski's Sweater? Getting your conflicting parts to communicate with each other.

Today’s show focuses on strategies for success. My guest combines her late-in-life diagnoses, training, and experience to help clients accomplish their goals. Maaya Hitomi is an ADHD coach and academic strategist who supports ADHD, autistic, and otherwise neurodivergent clients to build strategies for better coping. At Structured Success, Maaya’s own coaching and consultation practice, she builds upon her Master’s training in psychology, her experience as a coach, and her lived experience as a neurodivergent person. Being ADHD, autistic, and dyslexic herself, Maaya credits her academic and professional success to the coping strategies she learned along the way. Focused on collaboratively building individualized coping strategies to support her clients, Maaya helps them make the healthiest thing the easiest thing. Show Highlights: Why Maaya is intensely passionate about giving people tools to understand how their minds work as she teaches coping strategies and learns alongside them How her mom didn’t acknowledge Maaya’s ADHD early on, and her official ADHD, autism, and dyslexia diagnoses didn’t come until her university years In school, Maaya was always seeking to learn more and caused problems because of being bullied and feeling socially awkward Cultural factors that affected Maaya include her privileged upbringing in the suburbs and gifted programs at school Why Maaya’s intensity is less of a problem now because it’s been identified and accepted How Maaya was always “too everything” in elementary school, so she put her head down and spent some lonely years in high school, which was the worst thing she could have done How Maaya’s intensity got out of control when she stood up to a bully and was overwhelmed into shutdown mode--an act that had far-reaching effects How Maaya uses her fire for good by using her personal acceptance and sharing her knowledge and experience with her clients How Maaya has collected “nuggets of truth” along the way and developed coping strategies that she can share with clients How Maaya helps others use their fire by bringing strategies and options to them with which to fashion a workable system Resources: Connect with Maaya:  Structured Success Find Maaya on Twitter: @structuredsucc Find Maaya on TikTok and Instagram