Embracing Intensity

Today's guest has wonderful Instagram posts, many of them covering her work with twice-exceptional adults. I'm a fan of hers, and she's a fan of the podcast, so it's exciting to introduce her to the Embracing Intensity audience! Aileen Kelleher is a licensed clinical social worker, therapist, and coach. Her therapy practice in Chicago specializes in helping gifted and twice-exceptional children build social-emotional skills, self-compassion, and confidence to recover from anxiety, depression, and other mental health difficulties. Her international coaching practice focuses on helping gifted and 2E women harness their talents to help them find fulfillment and fun in their personal, professional, and social lives. Show Highlights: Why Aileen is intensely passionate about working with 2E people and sharing tools and resources How Aileen's personal brand of intensity manifests in her passion and her ability to embrace conflict and argumentative engagement; she appears intimidating to others and feels emotions deeply Growing up, Aileen experienced bullying from her peers that put her "on guard" with anxiety and fear where there was the capacity for negative emotions; she also had an early sense of social justice How Aileen identifies now as a 2E person who has anxiety, depression, and some ADHD characteristics In school, Aileen was a student who was eager to please her teachers and experienced solid support from her mother; she struggled to fit in and be accepted with peers How, as she grew older, she began challenging authority, rebelling, and calling out injustice How being from a large, Irish Catholic family trained her to use direct bluntness that not everyone accepts How Aileen learned to tone herself down and tune herself out by escaping in reading books and watching TV; in later life, she numbed herself through substance abuse to "check out" from reality How Aileen experienced her out-of-control intensity through raging at people as a young person and now uses writing, exercise, and art as ways to maintain control How Aileen has learned not to be "the biggest voice" in the room but to lift up and make room for the voices of others in community and collaboration How Aileen uses her fire for good by being helpful and learning all that she can about what she feels passionate about; she has also learned to admit her mistakes and keep going How Aileen helps other 2E adults find meaning, joy, and purpose in their lives How relationships with family and friends have helped Aileen learn to reach out for help and trust herself Why Aileen likes helping others define and find their personal values How ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) helps gifted kids figure out what they care about beyond simply proving how smart they are Parting words from Aileen: "You are OK just the way you are, even if you feel like you don't belong in a certain situation. That doesn't mean that there is something fundamentally wrong with you, and it's OK to ask for help if you need it. Gifted and 2E can have full and satisfied lives, and the fact that we are different shouldn't stop us from pursuing what we want--and what everyone else gets to have." Resources: Find Aileen on Instagram or at www.coaching4gifted.com. Her work with kids is at www.aileenkelleher.com.

Continuing our top 2019 reruns. This has been one of our top episodes from it's very start! 2019 was our first year of guest speakers, and we took a break for 2020 but had a great run in 2021. I'm super excited about our upcoming 2022 series especially because all of my top choices got back to me right away and agreed to speak. I'm still waiting on a few scheduling clarifications, but I'm pleased to announce that Jan. 22 we will have Leela Sinha, author of "You're Not Too Much" talk about the Intersection of Queerness and Neurodivergence, and Feb 19th we'll have Alexandra Loves talk about Passion vs. Drama! Get on our mailing list for updates and log in information at www.embracingintensity.com. You can support the continued growth of these free calls by joining our community at community.embracingintensity.com or supporting Embracing Intensity on Patreon! Navigating relationships successfully can be one of the most challenging things we ever do. The intensity and outside-the-box nature of twice-exceptionality (gifted plus disability), adds in a whole new layer of challenge. In this episode, Dr. Melanie Hayes shares both the joys and the hurdles of twice exceptional relationships. In this episode: Common issues in all relationships. Additional challenges for twice-exceptional people. Meeting our unmet needs in relationships. A recipe for twice-exceptional people to connect with who they really are and have fulfilling lives. Links: Embracing Intensity Community Support Embracing Intensity on Patreon

Continuing our top 2019 reruns. One of my most popular topics is twice exceptionality, especially as it relates to ADHD. This is what prompted my work in sharing stories of twice exceptionality on YouTube and my upcoming 2E Comics. I'll be launching a Kickstarter in the new year to help fund support with illustration so I can make it happen with my limited time! Coincidentally, this episode features input from Brendan Mahan of ADHD Essentials, and he just shared his most recent episode with me on twice exceptionality this week! Go listen to "Giftedness is Not Achievement w/ Aurora Remember Holtzman on ADHD Essentials! I've been asked a lot about twice-exceptionality recently and especially on how to identify ADHD when giftedness is also involved. In this episode: Characteristics observed in people who are both gifted and ADHD. Characteristics that may be common with giftedness, but are even more extreme when ADHD is thrown in. Assessment patterns I've observed with kids with ADHD. Links: Embracing Intensity Community Brendan Mahan's ADHD Essentials

Continuing the tradition of reruns for the month of December, and this month I'll be sharing some of my top episodes from 2019. The top guest episode was on Positive Disintegration w/ Chris Wells, and she has a new podcast on the topic that just came out recently! You can find the discussion recording and her latest talk on Overexitabilities in the Embracing Intensity Community. Kazmiers Dabrowski was an early proponent of what we now call the neurodiversity movement. He asserted that what was viewed as "neuroses" were not an illness, but in fact a sign of high developmental potential! His theory of Positive Disintegration views the importance of falling apart, or disintegrating, before integrating into a higher whole. This week, Chris Wells, Director of Qualitative Research at the Gifted Development Center, dives deeper into Dabrowski's life, what led to his theory and how it applies to us in the current day. In this episode: How Dabrowski's theory relates to the current neurodiversity movement. How his own life experiences and trauma impacted his theory. The importance of values. The three factors of developmental potential. How dynamisms, or the forces that drive our actions, serve as a catalyst to higher development. Links: Chris' New Podcast on Positive Disintegration! Finding Treasure In Ruins Blog Post Embracing Intensity Community Gifted Development Center

I first met today's guest when he enthusiastically shared some of my animated shorts on 2E experiences. We have followed each other, and I'm a big fan of his advocacy work. Join us to learn more! Dr. Matt Zakreski is a psychologist who works with gifted and twice-exceptional folks. We have connected over social media, and I'm excited to talk to him today and introduce him to the Embracing Intensity audience. Show Highlights: How Matt is intensely passionate about his experience as a "grown-up gifted kid," helping people through therapy and training, ultimate Frisbee, craft beer, Bruce Springsteen, and comic books Why Matt's personal brand of intensity means that he wants things to be "this way," and has a tough time when they aren't; he wants to know expectations ahead of time How Matt learned to embrace his giftedness later in his school years and had to find his people in the arts Why Matt speaks the language of caring and wants to be around people who care about something How even with ADHD and giftedness, Matt appreciates authenticity in himself and others In his school experience, Matt realized how to "flex" his gifts in language arts but struggled in STEM classes How Matt advises families to learn from his mistakes to "work smart, not hard" How Matt felt responsibility and a lot of expectations as the oldest child in his family How Matt felt the divide in high school between living in the sports world as an athlete and the arts world How Matt tried to tone himself down and embrace his leadership style of being second in command How Matt felt his intensity out of control significantly when he was bullied in 8th grade How Matt uses his fire for good by helping kids learn to lift others up instead of tearing others down Why getting in touch with his emotional world and being vulnerable have helped Matt harness the power of his intensity Personal habits that have helped Matt use his fire positively are taking time daily for long walks, podcasts, and music How Matt helps others use their fire by helping them be their best selves Why it's energizing to make time for yourself Parting words from Matt: "If you are too much for some people, then those are not your people. Do something for you, and do your version of it. Have the confidence to put your own spin on what self-care looks like for you. We have to value putting ourselves in inspiring and charging situations instead of draining ones. You are worth putting yourself first." Resources: www.drmattzakreski.com Find Matt on Facebook.

If you or someone you love is a gifted person, you understand that it can complicate many situations in life. It's wonderful to know that empathetic and supportive professionals are dedicating their lives to advocacy for these individuals. Join me to learn more about one such psychotherapist in today's episode! Gail Post is a clinical psychologist, parenting coach, workshop leader, and writer. In clinical practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy in the Philadelphia area with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted. Gail does consultations with educators and psychotherapists and parent coaching throughout the US and Canada. Dr. Post served as a co-chair of a gifted parents' advocacy group when her children were in school, and she continues to advocate through workshops in schools and parenting groups. Her writing related to giftedness includes online articles, several books, chapters, plans for an upcoming book, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Gail is just one of the popular gifted writers whose work is included in the book, Perspectives on Giftedness: Sound Advice from Parents and Professionals by GHF Press. Show Highlights: Why Gail is intensely passionate about working with gifted and twice-exceptional teens and adults, advocacy, parenting issues, nature, art, music, and trying to make a difference How psychotherapists help clients with mirroring and attunement to create encouragement for the changes people need to make Why it's difficult to find psychotherapists who specialize in giftedness Why Gail's personal brand of intensity looks like overthinking and being passionate about her work and values How Gail grew up feeling things intensely and feeling out of sync with others as she tried to fit in How Gail was affected by white privilege and by other issues of the 70s like the Vietnam anti-war movement, women's right, and civil rights How Gail had to tone herself down as a shy child when she learned to hide her abilities and talents Why Gail got out of control when she felt things and reacted strongly, especially in work settings How Gail uses her fire for good in helping people, writing, and utilizing her strengths, and engaging with her interest in the human psyche and behavior How Gail harnesses her power by knowing her strengths, pacing herself, and managing stress How she helps others by encouraging them to feel safe and accept themselves with empowerment in challenging situations Gail's upcoming book, Perspectives in Giftedness, written with several other authors: her articles include "How to Explain Giftedness to Your Child," one about what happens when kids know they are smart by society or school tells them they are not, and one about college planning to teach students and parents what they don't know about the process Why we shouldn't tell kids their IQ number because it can harm them or hold them back Final words from Gail: "I encourage everyone to work on self-acceptance with who you are because that's the foundation for moving forward in life. It's also important to accept your child's imperfections and all of who they are." Resources: Gail Post Gifted Challenges Connect with Gail on Facebook. Perspectives on Giftedness: Sound Advice from Parents and Professionals, (A Collection of Essays by GHF Writers)

We are celebrating our 5th anniversary of the Embracing Intensity Podcast by sharing past guests, listeners and community members answer to the question "What does Embracing Intensity mean to me? I'm also launching my new website at EmbracingIntensity.com - go check it out and explore!

The podcast is marking a huge milestone this week as we celebrate our 5th anniversary! In today's show, we go outside the box as we discuss the importance of storytelling when it comes to giftedness, equity, identity, and inclusion. Join us to learn more! Marc Smolowitz is a previous guest on the show, and I'm thrilled to have him back to talk about one of his projects, The G Word film. Marc is a multi-award-winning director, producer, and executive producer who has been involved in more than 50 independent films. His works have touched viewers on five continents and screened at the world's top-tier film festivals. Marc is currently in post-production on The G Word, a feature-length documentary that aims to be the most comprehensive film ever made on the topics of gifted, talented, and neurodiverse education across the US. The film tells seven stories with different perspectives and asks the urgent equity question, "In the 21st century, who gets to be gifted in America, and why?" The film is poised to premiere in 2022. Show Highlights: How the pandemic has affected Marc's work on The G Word and other projects A broad overview of The G Word and the important stories highlighted by the film How changemakers are working to make a difference in the gifted and talented community How we can use our voices to be allies for the disenfranchised How a zip code can be ultra-defining in the resources and opportunities available to people How Marc is working to "take the temperature" of people around the country in assessing how giftedness has been affected by the pandemic A look at the spirit of G/T/N Awareness Week (gifted, talented, neurodiverse), which is scheduled for October 25-29; this is a FREE five-day slate of virtual programming with a different focus each day. (See Resources to register.) Why free and appropriate public education is a social contract--a promise made to all parents for their children Why we as advocates and allies cannot quit fighting to make a better civil society for "more of us rather than less of us" Why we need a much more communal and collective narrative around giftedness and neurodiversity in our country Why The G Word is a mainstream educational film Resources: The G Word Film Find out more about the film, find resources, and sign up for G/T/N Awareness Week. Find the film on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I'm excited to introduce you to today's guest. She's a highly esteemed expert in the area of neuroscience and twice-exceptionality. Join us to learn more! Dr. Nicole Tetreault is a compassionate author, meditation teacher, and international speaker on neurodiversity, neurodevelopment, creativity, mental health, and wellness. Her book, Insight into a Bright Mind, explores groundbreaking research examining the experiences of unique, creative, and intense brains while advocating for new directions of human diversity and neurodiversity. Nicole is the founder of Awesome Neuroscience and translates the most promising neuroscience and positive psychology for people to live their best life. She is on the faculty at Bridges Graduate School of Cognitive Diversity and Education, and she leads a new generation of meditation practices by fusing novel discoveries in neuroscience with the ancient art of meditation. As the recipient of the Milton Career Exploration Prize from CalTech, she founded the novel nonprofit, Beyond the Cell, a transformative program to rehabilitate incarcerated women through guided meditation, neuroscience, literature, and expressive writing. Nicole believes we have the ability to wire our minds for positive plasticity through compassion and wisdom to live the life we dream. Show Highlights: Why Nicole is intensely passionate about neuroscience, positive psychology, and understanding diversity with compassion How Nicole knew from a very young age that she was different than others and greatly affected by social injustices How Nicole struggled when her intelligence didn't match up for her in the classroom How Nicole spent her adult years rewiring her brain with new patterns, thoughts, stories, and ideas What Nicole would tell her former teachers about how they were "missing" each other How Nicole experienced stereotyping and white privilege growing up as a blond Caucasian girl in a private school in a part of Los Angeles with a large Latino and Chinese population How Nicole had to tone herself down in phases in her life, mostly by learning to hide in middle school and again in grad school How Nicole's intensity got out of control in grad school when she felt pressure and anxiety to be perfect Nicole's transformational meditation practice to regulate her intensity and emotional intelligence The challenge in balancing a good mindfulness practice with what goes on in today's world Nicole's take on spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity How Nicole uses her fire for good in connecting and partnering with others who are passionate about equality for neurodiverse people Nicole's habits that help harness the power of her intensity: giving herself breaks for investigation, creativity, and curiosity; meditation; writing every day in a journal; and partnering with other creatives in the community How Nicole helps others use their fire by helping students see their magic and helping other people see their individual gifts How Nicole's book: how it came about when she listened to her gut, how it inspires others, and how she wants to change the language about being twice-exceptional Resources: Nicole Tetreault Find Awesome Neuro on Instagram and Twitter Insight into a Bright Mind: A Neuroscientist's Personal Stories of Unique Thinking by Nicole A. Tetreault Connect with me: 2E Connection

Today's solo episode is about a topic that I've thought about for a long time, so I'm happy to bring it to you. We will discuss getting an assessment as a gifted or twice-exceptional adult, so I hope you find it helpful for me to share my thoughts and tips. Show Highlights: Considerations that are universal to all assessment types: If you think you are gifted, you probably are. Make sure the person doing the evaluation has experience with giftedness and twice-exceptionality. Realize that every assessment will have limitations and strengths, and every evaluator will have personal biases. Five types of assessments: Diagnostic assessment This will be done with a trained professional who can give a diagnosis. Always look for someone with experience with giftedness and neurodiversity, and ask what tools they use. Psychometric assessment This evaluation can give valuable information about your strengths and weaknesses, and it's very standardized for comparison to others. It has limitations, like false lows and big gaps in highs and lows. Qualitative assessment This evaluation looks beyond just the numbers with things like observations, records, interviews, etc. It gives very useful information. Self-assessment The challenge in this evaluation is that there is a lot of information to take in. Multimodal assessment This kind of evaluation can be any combination of the other four types; it uses a variety of tools all together. Helpful books: (See Resources for more information.) The Power of Difference, The Dyslexic Advantage, The Gifted Adult, and Your Rainforest Mind Resources: Connect with me: Aurora Remember Find out our upcoming group call on Overexcitability with Chris Wells: Embracing Intensity Check out the following resources: Cognitive Processing Inventory at LDinfo Gifted Adult Checklist at Gifted Development Paula Prober's Giftedness Checklist from Your Rainforest Mind Books: The Power of Different by Gail Saltz, M.D. The Dyslexic Advantage by Brock and Fernette Eide The Gifted Adult by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen Your Rainforest Mind by Paula Prober