The Allender Center Podcast

Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth, prolific artists, writers, and co-founders of Art House America, join Dan in this podcast episode to discuss their life, work, and recent book, "Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much." In their latest book, Charlie and Andi have written a collection of letters to Christians and spiritual seekers who think deeply and care acutely about the state of the world and their personal spheres of influence. Each of these letters is a gentle nudge in the direction of God's powerfully ordinary purpose for each of us, no matter what the future holds, to participate fully in the beautiful, redemptive work of Christ. Our conversation touches on the importance of hospitality, the need to recapture the imagination, and the shared journey of navigating a chronic illness. In the midst of facing significant challenges and the ebb and flow of busy times and moments of slowing down, this discussion highlights a steadfast commitment to living a life filled with beauty, creativity, and faith. Be sure to check out "Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt" by Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth, now available anywhere books are sold.

Exploring the emotional complexities of scheduling time, the podcast dives deep into how managing schedules can bring up feelings of desire, grief, hope, and connection. The hosts discuss the existential aspects of time, the challenges of balancing fixed plans with flexibility, and the struggle to prioritize meaningful connections amidst busy family dynamics. They also reflect on aging, finding balance in life, and the playfulness of the Spirit of God within time's constraints.

Please note that this episode contains discussions of sex, and mentions sensitive topics like sexual assault, rape, and misogyny. Listener discretion is advised. Do you remember "the talk?" Maybe you never had one… or wish yours had gone differently. This week, we're pleased to talk to friend, therapist, writer, and NFTC alumni Sam Jolman, MA, LPC, about his new book, "The Sex Talk You Never Got," which was just released this week. In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness. In this new book, Sam helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire. "The Sex Talk You Never Got" by Sam Jolman was just released on June 11, and is available wherever books are sold.

We're pleased to bring you a new, three-part series this summer from Rachael Clinton Chen, where she candidly shares personal insights from her own journey of holistically healing from complex PTSD and anxiety, and the things she didn't expect when healing from trauma. In the first episode of this series, Rachael shares some of her earliest memories of contending with anxiety as a child, how she managed it, and what eventually drove her to begin to seek help. From the heart-wrenching lows to the moments so absurd they bring laughter, and every breakthrough in between, we hope this series of heart-to-heart conversations will bring you hope, make you laugh, make you think, and most of all make you feel like you're not alone. Stay tuned for Part 2, which will be released on July 5.

Story is how we make meaning as humans. Stories help us shape our identity and influence our perception of God. Our stories also are revelatory; they reveal something of the nature of God in a way that nothing else does. If you're curious about why we talk so much about story here at the Allender Center - or if you've heard it before and need a gentle reminder - this episode will help you reflect on the role of story and how your story connects with the story of God.

We believe that we are made for honor. We're made to be known, to be seen, and to be delighted in. But along the way, the joy of being honored somehow gets distorted. Shame, envy, or exploitation often tarnish our encounters with honor. As a result, many of us either shy away from it or diminish its significance. Alternatively, many of us may find ourselves chasing a counterfeit version of honor, pursuing attention, affirmation, wealth, or status. Why does receiving honor often evoke discomfort within us? Today, Dan and Rachael explore the essence of our relationship with honor — uncovering the underlying reasons behind our unease and highlighting the honor and glory we are all meant for.

Do you ever feel stuck in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions or negative thoughts? Dr. Alison Cook, therapist and host of "The Best of You" podcast, joins Rachael Clinton Chen to explore the intricacies of navigating emotions. Her latest book, I Shouldn't Feel This Way, offers practical strategies and a transformative 3-step framework to navigate difficult emotions and find more clarity. Whether you're grappling with past wounds, conflicting emotions, or seeking more connection with yourself and God, we hope this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement to support you on your journey towards emotional freedom.

In Romans, we're encouraged to renew our minds, but what does that really mean? Can we just think our way to healing? Today, Dan and Rachael dive into the fascinating world of mind-body renewal. They discuss how relying solely on our thoughts for healing has its limitations and propose a more holistic approach that considers the polyvagal system—a fascinating network that regulates our nervous system. Referencing Romans 12:2, they stress the importance of going beyond just thinking differently, recognizing the deep connection between our bodies, minds, and spirits. Dan explains the three stress states of the polyvagal system—ventral vagal, sympathetic activation, and dorsal vagal shutdown—and how disruptions can skew our perception of reality and impact our relationships. You'll also discover some practical techniques to help regulate the polyvagal system and clear your mind. By the end of this episode, we hope you'll gain a deeper understanding of renewal—one that embraces not only our thoughts but also our physical and spiritual well-being.

In our fourth and final episode of conversations with Narrative Focused Trauma Care alumni, we have the privilege of speaking with Rev. Mike Boland about the profound influence of his training and work in NFTC on both his personal life and ministry. In the shadow of childhood abuse, Mike found himself trapped in what he describes as a perpetual "Groundhog Day" cycle. While he managed to get by, true healing remained elusive. However, the cycle was disrupted when he became a parent, prompting him to seek help to address his past traumas and strive to become the kind of parent he aspired to be. This pivotal disruption led him to work with a skilled therapist who introduced him to the work of the Allender Center. Though his journey towards healing was tumultuous and marked with anger, Mike pressed on with courage. His desire for growth led him to participate in a Men's Recovery Week and eventually complete Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level III training, ultimately becoming a Facilitator with the Allender Center. We hope that this four-part series of candid conversations has inspired you and sparked your imagination regarding the possibilities of healing, both for yourself and others. Our aim has been to offer you a glimpse into the profound impact of embracing the life-changing experience of Narrative Focused Trauma Care. Learn more about NFTC training at theallendercenter.org/trainings Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse, including childhood sexual abuse, and is intended for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.

Today, Dan and Rachael are chatting with Petra Malekzadeh, who is the Narrative Focused Trauma Care Facilitator Training Coordinator at the Allender Center, as well as an Instructor and Advisor. She also led a thriving story group ministry at her church for several years before joining us. You'll hear about what drew her to the work of the Allender Center and, in particular, the work that she has done to understand the role of shame and step into a more fullness. We invite you to chat with Petra at our upcoming NFTC Level I Coffee Hour on May 8. If you have questions about NFTC training, how the program works, and how it can benefit your work, Petra is the perfect person to connect with. Sign up for this free coffee hour at theallendercenter.org/events. This is the third of our 4-part series where we're inviting you to join us in listening to real stories from those who've gone through Narrative Focused Trauma Care training with the Allender Center. Through candid conversations with these remarkable individuals, our goal is to give you a glimpse into the profound impact of saying yes to this life-changing experience. Learn more about NFTC training at theallendercenter.org/trainings