AuDHD Flourishing

Jes Diverges (she/they) helps fellow autistic ADHDers and has a fascinating background. We dive into how they ended up coaching rather than finishing their therapy degree... and in the process touch on how messed up some of our culture's attitudes are toward mental health!While we certainly don't solve the issue of AuDHD mental health, we talk aboutwhen to take a break from trauma healinghow entrepreneurship has been a surprising part of our trauma healingwhy insistence on one modality such as CBT doesn't serve ushow to balance individual and community healingFrom Jes' website:As an auDHD coach, I empower fellow autistic ADHDers to understand the unique interplay of the auDHD “combo meal” within their minds, and to let go of perfectionism, people pleasing, and unrealistic neurotypical expectations.By embracing radical self-love in place of shame, I guide individuals on their journey to confidently navigate the chaotic intricacies of auDHD life and become the audaciously authentic auDHDers they were meant to be.Resources mentioned:Jes' Instagram & TikTok @jesdivergesjesdiverges.comEmail Jes at jes@jesdiverges.comJes' Linktree with all the thingsEpisode TranscriptAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people have one or two core self-care needs that, if they're met, everything else feels easier. This episode is about how to figure out yours... and what to look out for when you hear people preaching about their own!There's also acknowledgment that your neurodivergent body and brain may process things in different ways, so the following questions may not be that useful for you.Figuring out your core self-care need or needs (just a jumping-off point!): Thinking back to times in your life when things felt the easiest, what was your life like? Which of your needs were being met fairly well?When life has been a bit easier or better, did you notice any particular ups and downs based on particular needs being met? For example, if you were overall feeling pretty good compared to your baseline, was there anything that particularly threw you off? Or something that could bring you back to that feeling better pretty quickly?Tuning into your body right now, is there anything your body is asking for? This won't necessarily be a core need, it's more a check-in to see what messages your body is already good at giving you.Thinking about the past few days, weeks, or months, are there any messages your body has been consistently giving you? For example, when you've felt tired, does it feel more like you need sleep, or more like you need food, or more like you need to be around another person to recharge? Again, this isn't a perfect metric, just noticing how your body talks to you.Is there any form of self-care that feels like it REALLY fixes a bad day?Resources mentioned: Takedown of Why We Sleep: https://guzey.com/books/why-we-sleep/Commentary on the above post: https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2019/11/18/is-matthew-walkers-why-we-sleep-riddled-with-scientific-and-factual-errors/Transcript DocAnd one more link someone sent taking down the book Why We Sleep (I haven’t listened to this episode but the links alone look great): https://open.spotify.com/episode/4r0Vawq8xAfnsnKbYVUNhc?si=n7t-koeuS2GXQ2QnA8j4dQ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do we survive capitalism while navigating the ethical dilemmas of making money within this broken system?There's no one right answer, but this episode breaks down my thoughts about it over the past few months.The problem isn't simply the exchange of goods or services for money, it's how late-stage capitalism seeks short-term profits above all else, extracting all the excess labor of the "lower classes" for profit.Ultimately I want more of us to be able to survive capitalism so we can build something better.Resources mentioned:The Moneyless Society podcast & bookThe AuDHD Entrepreneurs & Creatives free facebook group (I no longer am in the group bc I deleted Facebook, and a friend is running it) Podcast transcript doc Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's easy for AuDHD brains to latch onto one concept of a solution, and believe it has to happen that way. But sometimes there's a deeper question or problem underneath that.As one example, many neurodivergent folks want a morning routine... but the real question under that could be "How do I feel good in the morning," or "How do I get my day started?" How do we ask the right questions to make sure we're not wasting our energy? One way to know that part of you believes you're asking the wrong question is if you're experiencing "self-sabotage" when trying to achieve the solution you have in mind. A few potential ways to reframe your question/problem: Take time with it & take a step backExternally process with someone elseCome up with at least 3 different ways this could go down, or different scenarios, that might solve the question/problem (to get your brain thinking creatively, and get another perspective) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a meta-episode about how I think about and approach the science around autism and ADHD (as well as other neurodivergences).While I do my best to do additional research, there are so many things that no one knows about AuDHD brains!One tool to improve this podcast is the Transcript doc linked below, which is publicly available for comments. If you have any questions or comments, you can leave them on the file and I'll try to answer them there and/or in the podcast!Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup& this week's* newsletter if you wanna check one out * No, I don't send newsletters weekly... yay doing what works for our own brain instead of arbitrary rules/schedules :) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm a naturally growth-oriented person... however, I often find myself changing or "fixing" things that others think are a problem. What happens when I reorient to what's actually important to me?The self-help industry will happily sell us solutions, whether or not the problem was actually bothering us before we heard about it.Many of us feel like we're struggling alone. But not only are most people silently struggling, many neurodivergent folks feel that they're uniquely broken. It's such a common experience!It's totally fine to choose to change something about your life. However, it can be helpful to check in with yourself to make sure it's really what you want.The questions I offered around choosing to change something (and especially purchasing a self-help product):Is this actually causing me any harm?Is it harming anyone at all? If yes, is that harm actually meaningful, or am I mostly being harmed by the shame around it?If I changed this about myself, what might "better" look like? Is that definition or desire coming from me, or suggestions outside of myself?Is paying attention to this popular "problem" keeping my attention away from anything deeply important to me? If I didn't put time, attention, or money into this, what might I want to do instead?If I never changed again, would I (still) love and accept myself?Here are the messages I need to hear:It's okay to take breaks from personal growth.It's okay to give up on changing things about yourself just because they might make other people more comfortable.It's okay to focus on what your body and mind actually want and need, whether or not those line up with messaging from people around you.I bet you're actually doing a great job with the circumstances you've been given.Even if you never change or fix another thing, I love and accept you.Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pasha Marlowe speaks brilliantly about how to navigate trauma, triggers, and sensory needs in relationships as an AuDHD person.Making it concrete, we both talk about a recent meltdown with our respective partners, and how we navigated those during and after.This is a deeply un-shaming episode—we still struggle with relational trauma despite all the "work" we've done. It's okay to have a lot of needs in relationships. And we talk about how hard it can be to figure out what those are and communicate them effectively.If your neurodivergent relationship needs extra support, Pasha is one of the rare practitioners who's ND, trained in family therapy, and works with couples!Resources mentioned:Pasha's websiteNeuroqueering podcast and Mattia's guest episode@neuroqueercoach on TikTok@neuroqueercoach on InstagramNeuroqueer Heresies bookFull Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nat Smith is a vulnerability coach, playwright, and connection witch. They're also my sibling, so you'll hear stories about our childhood.Nat has known they're ADHD for years, and only recently has been exploring the label autistic. One reason it's been a slow realization: they don't experience it as a disorder and don't need a lot of external support day-to-day.Because of that experience, we also touch on the "levels" of autism currently being given in diagnosis. Many Level 1 folks are never diagnosed. And while I would probably be labeled Level 1, I'm actually more Level 2... I've just managed to have family and partners meet my daily needs.Nat's perspective is incredibly helpful for anyone who wonders what autism looks like when it's NOT an obviously disabling condition. This is where the word "Neurotype" is so useful!Disclaimer: And I would hope it goes without saying... every autistic person is different and has their own experience! Many if not most autistic people (and especially those who receive an official diagnosis) do experience autism as a disability for many reasons.Nat's experience does not at all detract from that! AND I feel it's important for more autistic people to be "out," even if they have a less common presentation.   Resources:Nat mentioned Devon Price's book Laziness Does Not Exist and the article of the same name.Nat's Substack newsletter/articlesNat's FacebookAuDHD Flourishing newsletter Full Transcript here  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The idea of "potential" has been weaponized against neurodivergent and disabled kids.Today I dig into why I hate the concept of potential as it's currently used, what I propose we talk about instead, and many personal details of my own journey toward feeling like I'm enough.Feeling a deep sense of enough-ness has totally changed my life. And while we all reach that in different ways, neurodivergent community has absolutely been a part of my healing journey. Love Your Brain July-Nov 2023 cohort (official last day to apply is Thurs June 29th... but also I understand the ADHD brain and we have a few days of leeway as the first group call is the week of July 7th)Cross-posted from The Longer Road podcastFull Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Autistic Pride Day, June 18th!What are you proud of?It doesn't negate any of our challenges, but it was fun to focus on what I love about my brain for a whole episode.If you'd like to learn more about Love Your Brain, here 'tis!Full Transcript hereAuDHD Flourishing Newsletter signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.