The Terri Cole Show

Do you catch yourself saying… I don't want them to think… I don't want them to feel… I don't want to seem difficult… I don't want to hurt their feelings… If so, this episode is for you because it's about becoming a boundary boss without guilt. When we say, "I don't want them to think," or "I just wanted to be nice," we're self-abandoning and not setting boundaries we need to set. It's time to change that! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/736

I'm thrilled to welcome my close pal, Jennifer Pastiloff, back to the show to celebrate the release of her new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life. It's a call to arms to stop self-abandoning and no longer wait for permission, which I think is perfect for this community. ❤️ Jen has such a unique voice and wonderful sense of humor, and in this girlfriend jam, we talk about shame loss, Jen's inspiration for the subtitle, and how she is really living what she's writing about. It's so inspiring and empowering. Watch to the end because she also shares a beautiful poem for those who feel like they're constantly behind. I think you'll love it! P.S. Jen's TEDx Talk, Nothing You Do Is Wrong: https://youtu.be/_-RlIS9JbhM?si=fU2V8AuP6CvlqzSw Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/735

Do you find yourself saying "I don't want to hurt their feelings" while completely abandoning your own needs? You think you're being nice, but you're actually training people to ignore what matters to you—because you're ignoring it first. In this episode, I break down the hidden cost of people-pleasing and why "being nice" is often just self-abandonment dressed up as politeness. I go over the 5 core types of boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, material, and energetic) and shares exactly what healthy boundary-setting looks like in real life. You'll learn: Why boundaries aren't walls—they're doors that YOU control How you teach people to treat you by what you allow, stop, and reinforce The difference between being liked and being safe What to do when people get mad about your boundaries Why the more authentic you is waiting on the other side of the limits you set Plus, get Terri's Boundary Script Kit with scripts for all 5 types of boundaries at terricole.com/guide. If you've spent years people-pleasing and managing other people's emotions, this episode will help you reclaim your peace and show up as your full, authentic self. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/734 Doors to Boundary Bootcamp are open! It's my 8 week Flagship Boundary Course with 8 Live Q&A Coaching Calls. To get more info and sign up got to terricole.com/bb2025

I am so excited to have dating coach and podcast host Sabrina Zohar on the show to talk about dating, relational issues, and what a secure, emotionally safe relationship looks like. Sabrina shares the work that she did to get out of unhealthy relational patterns, how she navigates her relationship with her narcissistic father, what her and her partner do to make each other feel safe and secure, how she sets boundaries with difficult people, and so much more. 🔥 I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/733

Do you say yes when you want to say no? Do you do more emotional labor in nearly all of your relationships? Are you the one everyone counts on, while no one is there for you? (Maybe you don't even allow people to be there for you?) If any of this sounds familiar, this episode is for you. I had many requests to do another episode on people-pleasing, so let's cover how people-pleasing and self-abandonment are survival mechanisms, the cost of these behaviors to us and our relationships, and how we can slowly shift into healthier ways of relating. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/732

In this engaging conversation, Alana Carvalho, a licensed mental health counselor and creator of The Codependent Perfectionist brand, tackles the intertwined issues of codependency and perfectionism. She shares her personal recovery journey and insights on how these traits often sabotage authentic connections. Alana emphasizes the importance of honest communication, setting achievable goals, and fostering healthy boundaries. Listeners will benefit from her advice on navigating parenting challenges and redefining productivity through taking breaks and celebrating small wins.

Tired of feeling drained by others' emotions? This discussion dives into the unique struggles faced by empaths, emphasizing the need for healthy boundaries. Learn how to reclaim your emotional sovereignty and differentiate between caring and taking on others' pain. With practical tools and affirmations, you'll discover ways to transform from an emotional sponge to a supportive mirror. Explore self-awareness and personal growth, all while navigating the complexities of emotional relationships.

I am thrilled to have Shannon Watts, author and founder of Moms Demand Action, on the show to talk about her new book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. I was definitely fired up and inspired by what Shannon had to share, and I think you will be, too. If you've been going through life on autopilot (as many high-functioning codependents do), feel like something is missing, or like you've been playing it small and it's time to stop and do something different, this conversation is for you. Shannon shares practical tips and strategies for reimagining your life and while we talk about perimenopause and menopause, these tips can apply to anyone in any season of life! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/729

Every close relationship hits turbulence at some point. Conflict is inevitable. That's why the real magic of secure, emotionally mature relationships isn't about avoiding conflict. It's about having the tools to come back together and repair. Repair requires us to be proactive because the work needs to begin long before it is actually needed. You can't build a bridge in the middle of a storm (aka, a conflict). Having the ability to repair after disconnection or disagreements is everything. In this episode, I'm teaching you how to create a repair kit so you can prepare to handle conflict much more productively. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/726

Sometimes, it helps to laugh at life's problems– Even the real ones. If you could use some help in finding humor in today's current events, Angie is your gal! Today I'm sharing a relaxed chat with Angie "Pumps" Sullivan, co-author of Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches and co-host of the podcast I've Had It. Somehow, the conversation feels light even as we delve into the reality of mourning dreams and expectations, being a role model for your children, and speaking up to yourself without being a "Karen." I hope you enjoy today's episode with Angie as much as I enjoyed chatting with her! Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/727