

The Couples Therapist Couch
Shane Birkel
This podcast is about the practice of Couples Therapy. Many of the episodes are interviews with leaders in the field of Relationships. The show is meant to help Therapists and Coaches learn how to help people to deepen their connection, but in the process it explores what is most needed for each of us to love, heal, and grow. Each week Shane Birkel interviews an expert in the field of Couples Therapy to explore all about the world of relationships and how to be an amazing therapist.
Episodes
Mentioned books

May 12, 2025 • 45min
242: The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men with Tom Bruett
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Tom Bruett about The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men. Tom Bruett, LMFT is a therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, which provides therapy for queer folx and training for therapists who work with queer relationships. Hear how to be more open & sensitive with your clients, the 7 stages of relational development, why you should trust your intuition with your clients, how to work better with queer couples, and how to model that these types of conversations are okay. To learn more about Tom Bruett, the Queer Relationship Institute, and The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men, visit: QueerRelationshipInstitute.com The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men

May 5, 2025 • 39min
241: 'Til Stress Do Us Part with Elizabeth Earnshaw
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Elizabeth Earnshaw about the themes from her new book, ‘Til Stress Do Us Part. Elizabeth is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Clinical Fellow of The American Association of Marriage & Family Therapy. She also founded A Better Life Therapy, where she sees couples in her tailored weekend intensives. Over the past 15 years, she’s become one of today’s most trusted relationship teachers. Hear why couples fight when they love each other, how to help clients manage stress, how to get them to be more compassionate towards each other, the most common stressors as parents, and how to help your clients internalize concepts with metaphors, analogies, and pictures. To learn more about Elizabeth Earnshaw, A Better Life Therapy, and ‘Til Stress Do Us Part, visit: ElizabethEarnshaw.com ABetterLifeTherapy.com ‘Til Stress Do Us Part Instagram @LizListens

Apr 28, 2025 • 35min
240: Emotional Abuse with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into emotional abuse. Hear why emotional abuse is so complicated, how it compares to physical abuse, how different family environments impact the potential for emotional abuse, examples of boundary violations, and how to stick to the principle of non-violence with your clients and yourself.

Apr 21, 2025 • 44min
239: Neurodiversity & Relationships with Dr. Matt Zakreski
In this engaging conversation, Dr. Matt Zakreski, a clinical psychologist and author of The Neurodiversity Playbook, delves into the world of neurodiversity and its effects on relationships. He discusses the importance of self-awareness in communication and reveals how generational perceptions of neurodiversity differ. Dr. Zakreski shares practical strategies for fostering empathy and flexibility in communication, advocating for open discussions and personalized solutions. He also emphasizes the value of therapy and dedicated time for meaningful conversations to enhance relational dynamics.

11 snips
Apr 14, 2025 • 32min
238: The 3 Situations When Couples Therapy Won’t Work with Shane Birkel
Explore when couples therapy may not be the answer, focusing on addiction, severe mental health issues, and harmful behaviors. Learn why some situations may require individual therapy instead, emphasizing the delicate balance of safety and trust. Delve into the nuances of communication challenges, including infidelity and emotional abuse, and understand the vital role of boundaries. Discover insights on how these obstacles can impede healing and why therapists might feel like a last resort in certain scenarios.

Apr 7, 2025 • 43min
237: Transformative Couples Therapy (TCT) with Dr. David Mars
In this engaging discussion, Dr. David Mars, Director of the Transformative Couples Therapy Institute, shares his extensive experience in couples therapy. He critiques traditional methods, emphasizing the importance of compassion and emotional connection. Dr. Mars explains how childhood influences shape adult relationships and promotes open communication to overcome these patterns. He also highlights the role of meditation in therapy sessions and the transformative power of embracing one's inner child for healthier partnerships.

Mar 31, 2025 • 42min
236: Trauma Bonds with Dr. Laura Copley
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Laura Copley about trauma bonds. Laura is a trauma therapist, international speaker, and author of the relationship self-help book, Loving You Is Hurting Me. Hear the stigma around trauma bonds & toxic relationships, how trauma bonds work, how to help your clients face their fears, the similarities between trauma bonds & addiction, and how to give hope to your clients’ relationships. To learn more about Dr. Laura Copley, visit: Loving You Is Hurting Me on Amazon Loving You Is Hurting Me on Barnes & Noble Instagram @DocCopley

Mar 24, 2025 • 48min
235: The 5 Forces Destroying Your Relationship with Dr. Pat Love
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Pat Love about The 5 Forces Destroying Your Relationship. Pat is an acclaimed therapist, speaker, and author of several books who has been a clinical practitioner of marriage and family therapy for over 40 years. Hear what’s important when selecting a mate, why true love takes time, how to help your clients when their emotions get flooded, how to navigate financial stress, and why fairness is so crucial to the success of a relationship. To learn more about Dr. Pat Love, visit: FlourishTogether.com Pat’s books on Amazon Pat’s LinkedIn

Mar 17, 2025 • 51min
234: Sex & Science with Emily Nagoski, PhD
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Emily Nagoski, PhD about sex & science. Emily is a Sex Educator & Researcher and New York Times Bestselling Author of Come As You Are and other books on sex. Hear why there needs to be more sexuality education out there, the different forms of desire, how the sexual accelerator & brake work, how to bring up sex with your clients, and the most surprising findings from Emily’s research. To learn more about Emily Nagoski, PhD, visit: EmilyNagoski.com Come As You Are Book Come Together Book Burnout Book Feminist Survival Project Podcast

Mar 11, 2025 • 51min
233: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Ryan Rana
Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Ryan Rana about emotional avoidance & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Ryan is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor, and Therapist and has 25 years of experience in the therapeutic field in many different capacities. Hear how to start off assessing your clients, why EFT is all about risk, why blame is a survival strategy, how to avoid misdiagnosing clients, and why validation is so key. To learn more about Ryan Rana, visit: The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy ICEEFT.com Use Coupon Code: CouplesCouch50Off for $50 off membership for a year at SuccessInVulnerability.com You can also listen to Ryan on Episode 116 of The Couples Therapist Couch