The Couples Therapist Couch 257: Emotional Repair with Andrea Dindinger
Aug 25, 2025
Andrea Dindinger, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience, shares her insights on emotional repair in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of accountability in healing everyday hurts and the role of curiosity in soothing a dysregulated partner. Andrea introduces a three-step approach for effective emotional repair and discusses the complexities of rebuilding trust after major betrayals like infidelity. Her focus on emotional skills and the need for ongoing dialogue provides couples with practical tools for stronger connections.
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Use A Gentle Tone Cue
- When your tone goes sharp, ask your partner to cue you with a gentle reminder like “tone, mommy.”
- A short cue prompts immediate ownership and a chance to try the interaction again calmly.
Translate Blame Into Feelings
- When someone blames, map the blame to underlying feelings and name them out loud.
- Saying "I feel lonely" or "I feel resentful" invites connection instead of escalation.
Child's Simple Apology Modeled Repair
- Andrea shared a memory of her son apologizing after being grouchy and explaining why he acted that way.
- His owning the moment melted her heart and modeled vulnerability's future benefit.