

The Couples Therapist Couch
Shane Birkel
This podcast is about the practice of Couples Therapy. Many of the episodes are interviews with leaders in the field of Relationships. The show is meant to help Therapists and Coaches learn how to help people to deepen their connection, but in the process it explores what is most needed for each of us to love, heal, and grow. Each week Shane Birkel interviews an expert in the field of Couples Therapy to explore all about the world of relationships and how to be an amazing therapist.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Sep 29, 2025 • 49min
261: Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) in couples therapy. Hear what Shane learned from the training he went to led by Jan Bergstrom & Dr. Rick Butts, why the HOCI model is helpful, the 6 core birthrights every human being has, how to start working with a new couple, and why it’s healthy to be concerned you messed up as a parent.

Sep 25, 2025 • 49min
260: Wise Effort with Dr. Diana Hill
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Diana Hill about Wise Effort. Diana is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, and sought-out speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. Hear how to practice Wise Effort, how to help your clients create a stronger connection with their partner, the most common types of regret, why people lose connection with the things they want, and why you should find a tree. To learn more about Dr. Diana Hill, her book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and her programs, visit: WiseEffort.com

4 snips
Sep 16, 2025 • 42min
259: Infidelity with Dr. Ellyn Bader
Dr. Ellyn Bader, author and co-founder of The Couples Institute, shares her pioneering journey in couples therapy and the significance of her Developmental Model. She reveals the developmental stages of relationships, emphasizing the importance of autonomy for healthy connections. Delving into infidelity, Bader breaks down common triggers, the stages of therapeutic work, and effective strategies for rebuilding trust. Her insights offer a roadmap for navigating the complexities of relationships and overcoming challenges together.

Sep 8, 2025 • 35min
258: Working with Men in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks working with men in couples therapy. Hear the perks of 1-day intensives, the common differences between men & women when it comes to couples therapy, how to help men truly listen in their relationship, how to identify moments to slow down and do some deeper work, and when it’s okay to not say anything as a couples therapist.

Aug 25, 2025 • 48min
257: Emotional Repair with Andrea Dindinger
Andrea Dindinger, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience, shares her insights on emotional repair in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of accountability in healing everyday hurts and the role of curiosity in soothing a dysregulated partner. Andrea introduces a three-step approach for effective emotional repair and discusses the complexities of rebuilding trust after major betrayals like infidelity. Her focus on emotional skills and the need for ongoing dialogue provides couples with practical tools for stronger connections.

4 snips
Aug 19, 2025 • 54min
256: Brain Science & Attachment with Dr. Dan Siegel
In this enlightening discussion, Dr. Dan Siegel, a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and author on mindfulness and neurobiology, explores the crucial role of brain science in relationships. He delves into how attachment styles shaped in childhood influence adult dynamics. Siegel highlights the power of empathy and emotional communication in therapy, alongside practical tools like the Adult Attachment Interview. The conversation also touches on how integrating past experiences fosters hope and healing in therapy, transforming relational challenges into opportunities for growth.

Aug 11, 2025 • 29min
255: Resentment in Relationships with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks resentment in relationships. Hear how to help couples let go of resentment, how to make healthy decisions based on compassion for your partner, what couples should do after they get past the honeymoon period, how to grieve a sacrifice you’ve made in your relationship, and how to help clients come up with compromises.

Aug 4, 2025 • 45min
254: Boundaries & Neurobiology with Juliane Taylor Shore
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Juliane Taylor Shore about boundaries & neurobiology. Juliane is an Educator, Therapist, and Writer inspiring people to shift their relationships with self, others, and the world. She’s the Author of “Setting Boundaries That Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered.” Hear how our salience network works, how our emotions & history influence our actions, how to witness yourself doing therapy, why you’re a gift to the clients you work with, and how we can work with our brains to learn how to witness our minds. To learn more about Juliane Taylor Shore, her book, and her workshops, visit: JulianeTaylorShore.com JulianeTaylorShore.com/Book You can also listen to Juliane on Episode 199 of The Couples Therapist Couch

Jul 28, 2025 • 42min
253: Relationships & Control with Shane Birkel
This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks relationships & control. Hear all the things we can’t control in life, how to help your clients respect the autonomy of their partner, what makes people become controlling, the healthy way of talking through feelings, and how to help a client who’s on the receiving end of controlling energy.

12 snips
Jul 21, 2025 • 41min
252: Trauma & Relationships with Dr. Janina Fisher
In this engaging conversation, Dr. Janina Fisher, a clinical psychologist and trauma expert, shares insights from her extensive work in trauma treatment. She discusses the significant shift from narrative therapy to body-based approaches, explaining how trauma is stored in the body. Dr. Fisher emphasizes the importance of recognizing bodily reactions in relationships and reframing conflicts as trauma responses. She highlights the need for safe sharing practices and small disclosures, advocating for empathy over vulnerability in healing.