The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is quitting something stable you hate to do something risky you've always wanted to do -- with no promise of success -- worth it? Do you tough it out and try to have a good attitude at your current job -- with which you have ethical and professional issues -- until you can go full time on your side hustle, or do you acknowledge the problems and find another job in the meantime? What's an effective, reasonable, yet not terribly costly way to learn a foreign language? The disgruntled educator who wrote to us in Fan Mail Friday 78 reports back with a very encouraging update. You're in the process of making legitimate personal improvements since you and your significant other -- with whom you have children -- had a hard breakup. You want to get back together, but the feeling doesn't seem to be mutual. Can they be actively won back, or should you just give them space and hope absence will make the heart grow fonder? Quick shoutouts to Nev Medhora -- former guest and listener of AoC -- and Ivan Ivanovic who lives in Switzerland by way of Serbia! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-82-homebrew-for-humanity/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Charles Duhigg (@cduhigg) is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter at The New York Times and author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. The Cheat Sheet: What's the difference between what we think and how we think? Learn more about the science of motivation and what makes us tick. Compare the internal vs. external locus of control. What is cognitive tunneling and when does it affect us? Discover how we can use mental models to avoid it. Find out how to increase creativity even when we hit a block. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Need legal help with starting and running your business? LegalZoom has affordable solutions -- check it out and use code CHARM to make it even more affordable! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/charles-duhigg-smarter-faster-better-episode-552/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author of the upcoming Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. He joins us to talk about the evolution of our innate (but limited) morality and what we as modern, rational humans can do to overcome this programming. The Cheat Sheet: Do we learn good and evil as we grow up, or are they hard-wired into us by evolution? Are we all just closet racists (with some of us just more closeted than others)? How can we scientifically test biases in babies who seemingly only express themselves by cooing and pooping? Good news: innate moral sense exists. Bad news: innate moral sense exists, but is limited. The goal of a modern culture is to make it a bit less limited. What can we do to change the us vs. them monologue with which we're born? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-bloom-rational-compassion-episode-551/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This week we tackle one of the most overused words today: gratitude. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: When you repeat something enough, it often loses its meaning. Through overuse, "gratitude" seems to be one of the latest casualties of this phenomenon. But done right, gratitude is one of the most powerful tools we have for life improvement -- it's one of the straightest and shortest paths to happiness and connection, and it utilizes thankfulness for things we already have rather than goading us toward what's currently out of reach. The word thanks comes from the Old English thanc, which means thought or gratitude. But it's also related to the Latin tongere, which means to know. So to thank is really to know. To know someone and to know yourself -- to know what they did for you and to know how it affected you. We can't really summon the powers of gratitude if we're just going through the motions -- we have to remind ourselves of the reasons we have to be grateful. Try to remember what a friend did for you recently. Think about valuable lessons you've taken away from a tough learning process. Even remembering an exceptionally delicious meal you've had -- these are all things you know and can be used to plant the seed of gratitude. Once we start thinking of gratitude as a kind of knowing, we can work with it in our everyday lives. Knowing gives us three things: a way to keep us focused on the good in our lives, a way to stay connected with people in our network, and a way to express generosity. Gratitude is transformative -- it allows us to accept even negative truths as gifts and learn from them. It's facing our problems and growing from the sometimes hard lessons rather than ignoring or denying that problems exist. If you can feel a curiosity -- maybe even a little excitement about what you might gain from any situation -- then you're already tapping into your gratitude. Start saying "yes" to everything on a cognitive level. Accept things as they are rather than how you wish they were. Take a moment to reflect on what went well every day. It will go from a deliberate practice to something that's automatic. Communicate with those who make you grateful. Take 30 seconds to send your friend or colleague a text, an email, or a handwritten note to thank them for whatever way they made your life better. If you're looking for a way to maintain good connections and building social capital in your network, this may just top the list. To learn more about social dynamics and the place of gratitude, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-20-even-monday-deserves-gratitude/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible to strike a balance between a no-strings-attached friendship and a relationship to benefit from the best of both worlds? How can you turn your good ideas into a business when you're always being pressured into taking dead end jobs just to make ends meet? Does using profanity make you cool as #*$&? Is there any way to remain a friend with your best friend's significant other when they aggressively pursue you for...more than friendship? Is "you have to tell them like it is or they will walk all over you" really an efficacious customer relations strategy? A quick shoutout to Kady T (not her real name), who listens to AoC while trying to find a new home and launch a business while she raises her 11-month-old baby in a shelter for abused women. Next time you think your life is overwhelming, remember Kady T! For what it's worth, AoC has your back, Kady. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-81-is-profanity-cool/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into the art of crafting the perfect elevator pitch, crucial for making unforgettable introductions. Discover the Tornado Technique to streamline your message and convey emotional value. Gain insights on practicing in low-pressure settings to boost your confidence. Learn how self-reflection can evolve your pitch over time, ensuring it stays fresh and relevant. Plus, explore the impact of non-verbal cues and enthusiasm in leaving a lasting impression while networking.

Penn Jillette (@pennjillette) is the vocal half of comic magician duo Penn & Teller and author of Presto!: How I Made Over 100 Pounds Disappear and Other Magical Tales. The Cheat Sheet: The role of flow (or autopilot) in high-level performing. Why Penn & Teller are constantly pushed and driven to innovate. Why it's important to question the things we want to believe the most. How tough love should play into the creative process when you're collaborating with someone you respect. Does moderation deserve respect? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/penn-jillette-presto-episode-549/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, we may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. Let's get to it!: The Cheat Sheet: What can you do if the bad behavior of a friend is reinforced every time you pick up the slack for them? The roles we play in the lives of others directly affect the nature of our relationships. You can't go outside without a jacket in the middle of winter and blame the weather for being too cold. We may not be able to change someone else's behavior directly, but we can change the role we play in our relationship with them. In short: don't try to change other people. Change the role you play in their life. By changing your role, you take control and accept your own actions and consequences. To learn more about social dynamics and taking control in the roles we play in the lives of others, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-19-relationship-roles/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: In a relationship, can trust be rebuilt once broken? More important: should it be? A self-described alpha female has been trying Kimberly Seltzer's dating advice, but it seems to be backfiring. What's the deal? Do men really love "bitches?" (Her word, not ours!) Do you find yourself constantly getting placed into positions of leadership by others? Is it really possible to get left holding the ladder...for yourself? Do you ever create scenarios or situations you may encounter with others and try to solve them before they actually exist -- and does this lead to false judgments and misunderstandings? How do you continue to work with someone who is insecure, insincere, and threatened by you, but is definitely not going anywhere because the CEO believes in him? Quick shoutouts to Joshua Francium from Indiana -- who listens to AoC on his morning commutes -- and architect Michael Robin in Shanghai, who listens while he designs buildings! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Jordan will be speaking at Thrive — the for-purpose entrepreneur event — in San Diego this year! If you want to go, grab a ticket here and use promo code AOC for 20% off! Take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. We'll take you step by step to becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and charisma. This is for both men and women! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-80-should-broken-trust-be-rebuilt/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Srdja Popovic (@SrdjaPopovic) is the author of Blueprint for Revolution: How to Use Rice Pudding, Lego Men, and Other Nonviolent Techniques to Galvanize Communities, Overthrow Dictators, or Simply Change the World. The Cheat Sheet: What do revolutions and businesses have in common? Why nonviolence is more popular (and more effective). Why there are no charismatic leaders in the most successful revolutions. How to make a revolution cool by using comedy. How was '90s Serbia like Middle Earth in the era of The Lord of The Rings (Hobbits and all)? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/srdja-popovic-blueprint-for-revolution-episode-548/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices