The Art of Charm

Mark Manson (@IAmMarkManson) returns to the show to talk about his new book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life -- available today! F-bomb alert level: juicy orange. The Cheat Sheet: Conventional life advice -- all that positive, happy, self-help stuff we hear all the time -- is actually fixating on what you lack and making you unhappy. Always assume you're wrong: if you're embarrassed about things you held to be true and dear 10 years ago, it stands to reason that things you hold true and dear today will be embarrassing 10 years from now. What The Feedback Loop from Hell is -- and why it's making you miserable. How you can use The Backwards Law to get out of the vicious cycle of comparing yourself to others. How The Self-Awareness Onion can lead you to a great understanding of yourself and your relationships. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/mark-manson-counterintuitive-approach-episode-547/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: If you find your default mode is negative, how do you snap out of it? I use something called the Three Positive Things drill. This is not the same as what I usually dismiss about the positive thinking camp. When something bad happens, it's easy to complain. So I challenge you to do this instead: force yourself to think of three positive things about what's bothering you. You can't control an event, but you can control your reaction to it. For example, when I got water all over my pants in the airport washroom before a 14-hour flight, I considered: 1) my pants were actually kind of waterproof, 2) I got a funny story out of it, and 3) I didn't get any on my new shoes, so it wasn't really a big deal. It may sound ridiculous, but the Three Positive Things Drill actually forces your logical brain to reach (sometimes pretty far) for the inobvious and distracts your emotional brain from getting upset. It also helps you build habits that make you a more positive person in your daily life. To learn more about social dynamics and developing good habits that will have a positive impact on your life, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-18-three-positive-things-drill/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Feel like your resume is lacking in experience? Show 'em what you can build. More listener endorsements for the virtues of dual enrollment (something we wish we'd found out about sooner)! A listener brings some great advice to the "why do bad bosses happen to good employees?" discussion from Fan Mail Friday #76. When you're just starting out in the entertainment industry, how do you mingle and network with the rich and successful in your field when you barely have two pennies to your name? [Relevant reference: Nev Medhora | How to Crash Parties and Grow Your Network (Episode 390)] Two years into a mostly perfect relationship in which you motivate each other to be your best selves -- but the sex just doesn't happen as much as it used to. What do you do? Quick shoutouts to: Dena -- James Swanwick's girlfriend who listens to AoC religiously and says it's just slightly better than his podcast -- and Kevin Rapp (happy belated birthday)! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-79-if-you-build-it-they-will-hire/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Brian Fetherstonhaugh (@BrianOgilvy) is the CEO of digital marketing agency OgilvyOne Worldwide and author of The Long View: Career Strategies to Start Strong, Reach High, and Go Far. The Cheat Sheet: Career math: calculations to help you appreciate the length of the career journey ahead and the strategies necessary to make it to the finish line. What percentage of your personal wealth do you think you'll accumulate after your 40th birthday? (The answer will probably surprise you.) Career fuel: what are you building today that you can carry for 40+ years? Career inventory: taking stock of the deep, longer term, transportable skills you've built over time. Do you succumb to temporal discounting -- choosing the present known over the future possible? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get 50% off your first package! If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/brian-fetherstonhaugh-the-long-view-episode-546/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jenny Blake (@Jenny_Blake) is the author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One. She joins the show to help us better deal with the only real constant in life: change. The Cheat Sheet: How to make yourself more agile in your career. How to make sure you're not afraid to make a move forward instead of staying stagnant -- or worse: going for Plan B. How to actually pivot, and why it's not as drastic or dramatic as you might think. Why if you don't prepare for a pivot, you might be pivoted. How to know when it's time to quit your day job and go all-in on your side gig or make the leap to a different job or career entirely. And so much more... Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to need to organize all of your company's projects and communication in one place -- Art of Charm listeners can try Basecamp 3 for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jenny-blake-pivot-episode-545/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. In this Minisode Monday, former and future guest Jon Levy -- author of The 2 AM Principle: Discover The Science of Adventure -- joins us to discuss the Copy Machine Effect and how to end a conversation without burning bridges. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: You can't always curate your company beforehand; the impressions you make are created by how you interact in real time, on the fly. Conversation is usually spontaneous. You don't want to offend someone you've just met, but what do you do if you find yourself in a conversation that's not ideal? How do you politely excuse yourself from the discussion without the other party taking it personally (and without feeling guilty)? Keep in mind that time is limited. While mingling with large groups of people, you'll see participation in some conversations as crucial, some as best put off for another time, and others as entirely avoidable. Jon gives us a couple of ways out if we're alone (one cleverly involves the IFTTT Do Button), or if we're already part of a group. Understand the power of "because." Jon explains the Copy Machine Effect and how providing a reason is curiously persuasive in any conversation. And then he demonstrates. To learn more about social dynamics and put them to practice, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-17-how-to-end-a-conversation/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you go back to your long-term marriage that needs work once you've become infatuated with someone who reminds you of all the things your partner is not? As we learned in episode 499 with Kimberly Seltzer, boundaries are imporant. But how do we know if we're closing ourselves off with too many boundaries? If you're an educator who's had to make countless compromises, it's hard not to become jaded when work politics hamstring the passion that got you into your field in the first place. Is there a way to realign your perspective and avoid the mounting bitterness you've been feeling about your job before you just leave it all behind for good? Some fan mail we get goes beyond the scope of our expertise, and we have to recommend professional help. Kimberly Seltzer gets another mention here for her in-depth episode about how to find a therapist. We wholeheartedly encourage everyone who listens to this show to put a plan of action in place and stick to it. Start small, as even the tiniest daily improvement will snowball into a core-level identity shift that will improve your life and the lives of those around you forever. A quick shoutout to Brandon Monk, the woodworker in L.A. who made my new audio desk -- which is amazing! It's all solid walnut. Hand made. It's absolutely beautiful and is officially the nicest piece of furniture I have ever owned. Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-78-hard-problems/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shep Gordon (@SupermenschShep) is a talent manager, Hollywood film agent, producer, and author of They Call Me Supermensch: A Backstage Pass to the Amazing Worlds of Film, Food, and Rock'n'Roll. He was featured in Mike Meyers' documentary Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon about his life and times. The Cheat Sheet: How do you create history rather than waiting for it to happen? Do you have to be a jerk to make it in Hollywood? What's Shep's coupon system? What's the most selfish thing you can do? Is fame toxic? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/shep-gordon-supermensch-maui-episode-544/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Robert Cialdini (@RobertCialdini) is a speaker, consultant, and author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and, most recently, Pre-suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. The Cheat Sheet: What is "pre-suasion," and how does it relate to the concepts inside influence? How persuasive people shape others' behavior and how we can use these techniques on others -- as well as ourselves. How to gain and retain someone's attention. How language, geography, and imaging alter our perceptions of what causes events -- and how the media uses these principles to influence us and set its agenda. How to increase our appeal by causing others to focus on us (and why this phenomenon often lands innocent people in jail). And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/robert-cialdini-pre-suasion-episode-543/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away. It'll make you more magnetic and effective. Today, we're joined by recent guest, Unmistakable Creative host, and author of Unmistakable: Why Only is Better Than Best, Srini Rao. He'll tell us how to write 1,000 words a day without even thinking about it. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: In order to effortlessly write 1,000 words a day, you need to make it second nature in your daily routine -- like brushing your teeth. Writing by hand vs. writing by keyboard. Activation energy: the fewer steps there are for you to do something, the more likely you are to actually do it. Have the tools of your routine on hand and ready to perform. To minimize distractions, Srini recommends loading up Focus at Will (a subscription music service that helps you focus -- with science!), and blocking all attention-grabbing websites (or your browser itself) for an hour. If you're writing on a laptop, have your word processing software set up so it's the first thing you see when you open it up in the morning. Before you know it, you'll write 1,000 words per day and you won't even think twice about it. Give it a try this week! To learn more about social dynamics and overcoming conditions like procrastination, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-16-how-to-write-1000-words-a-day/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices