The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What news sources do we trust to keep us informed about current events? If you're still in college, is a long distance relationship a worthwhile pursuit -- or will it just hold you back from achieving other goals? Is there such a thing as too much personal development? Can someone really become unknowingly deficient in relationship skills because they're too absorbed in their own journey? How does one get started in the industry of self-help and personal growth? When your estranged parents reach out and want to visit you on the other side of the ocean, is it wrong to tell them that now's not a good time? Quick shoutouts to Mitch, a producer at a studio Jordan used (he turned out to be an AoC fan just by coincidence!) and Chris Johnson, who's deciding whether or not to do his own podcast now that he sees some of the work that goes into it! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-74-personal-overdevelopment HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Cuddy (@amyjccuddy) is a social psychologist, TED Talk speaker, and author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The Cheat Sheet: What is presence, and why do the charismatic seem to have it in abundance while so many of us struggle to find it regularly in ourselves? Presence is a renewable resource -- not a permanent state. Confident body language begets confidence and presence. Arrogance isn't a proxy for confidence -- why inauthenticity undermines trust, how you can keep yourself from conveying it, and how to spot it in someone else. Extroverts don't have an unfair advantage when it comes to commanding presence; by the same token, introverts aren't at a disadvantage. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/amy-cuddy-presence-episode-536/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bob Burg (@BobBurg) is the co-author of The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea, a parable with dynamic business principles and life lessons that we can all apply with great effect. The Cheat Sheet: Why the world isn't dog-eat-dog. The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success -- how they apply to your business and personal life. How we add value without giving away the bank and hurting our own business or interests. How we give without being obsessed with the results. As the old adage goes: how you do anything is the way you do everything. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/bob-burg-the-go-giver-episode-535/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 12th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. We take on roles when interacting with others. But are we in control of the roles we play, or do they come about by default or inaction? Let's find out here! The Cheat Sheet: When interacting with others, we all play roles. Sometimes these roles complement each other, and sometimes they clash. We don't always choose the roles we play. Sometimes they just happen by default or plain inaction. When two people are working together to get something done, one person may take the supporting role of ladder holder and the other, the ladder climber. In the ladder example, there's nothing wrong with taking on either role. But did you arrive at your respective roles by choice, or did one of you take the initiative to select one and the other just fell into the one left over? This week, think about the roles you play at home. Think about the roles you play at work. Think about the roles you play among your friends. Which roles do you have by choice, and which roles do you have by default or inaction? For whom are you holding the ladder when you shouldn't be? To learn more about social dynamics you can put to use, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-12-playing-roles-and-holding-ladders/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it -- as an added bonus, Gabriel Mizrahi joins us! In this episode: What can you do to keep a good relationship with a family member who doesn't support your goals while not letting their negativity derail your ambition? How do you convince your boss that his convoluted approach to a project could be better streamlined without causing insult or drama? As a direct-sales team leader, how do you keep your team's morale up when it's discovered that one among them has been stealing from several others in the group? How can you be civil to -- and work with -- a boss you don't respect? Extra complication: he's the business owner's son. A prospective employer says your resume looks great on paper, but they express concerns upon meeting you because your work history is unorthodox. How do you present your case? Quick shoutouts to: Bill Durfy, who listens with his 18-year-old daughter, and Dylan F, who listens in Manhattan because his girlfriend turned him on to the show. Ladies, tell your men about AoC! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-73-why-dont-i-want-to-hire-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator, shares insights on negotiation and emotional persuasion. Learn how to size up different types of negotiators and defuse negative emotions. Discover the power of slowing down negotiations and effective communication techniques from his book 'Never Split the Difference'.

Carmen Simon (@areyoumemorable) is a cognitive scientist specializing in neuroscience research and how we can use memory to have a positive impact on other people's decisions. She is the author of Impossible to Ignore: Creating Memorable Content to Influence Decisions. The Cheat Sheet: How to stay on people's minds. How to influence other people's memory. Why being remembered in the future is more important than being remembered in the past. When forgetting is actually better than remembering. How to influence others to forget. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/carmen-simon-impossible-to-ignore-episode-533/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the 11th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual author and recent guest David Burkus joins us to talk about how to tell if your network is too dense, what this really means, and how you can remedy the situation. The Cheat Sheet: While you may be influenced most by the five people with whom you spend the most time, research suggests shuffling those five people depending on the project at hand. In theory, this is great. But what if your network isn't wide enough to allow for this kind of shuffling? On the other hand, as networks cross and everybody gets to know everybody in each other's networks, the diversity of those networks decreases at the same time as they get denser. Grab a notepad and list the 10 people you interact with most. "There's nothing magical about 10," says David. "You could go to 15 if you've got that many; you could go to five if you feel like you don't have a lot of friends." Stare at that list and start thinking about how many of those people would also be on each other's list. How many of them know each other? How often do you all hang out together? If your network's too dense, it's time to start expanding. To learn more social dynamics hacks like this one, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-11-how-to-tell-if-your-network-is-too-dense/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you an introvert who leaves the party early because you need time away from people to recharge? Or are you just really ambitious and ready to move on to more invigorating projects than clubbing? It could be both... Five years into your marriage-tracked relationship and you've both agreed to save your virginity until the wedding night. And then your significant other drops a bombshell: they haven't been a virgin since before you started dating. Now what? The family who listens to the AoC podcast together stays together! (Or at least engages in regular discussions instead of constant arguments.) If a reason-based atheist withdraws from a group of bunk-believing old friends and there's no herbal remedy around to cure his melancholy, does his aura change color? A doctor who listens to the show reminds men with low libidos to get testosterone and estradiol levels checked -- aromatization might be converting what seems to be a normal level of testosterone into estrogen. "Even in younger guys," she says, "this is an increasingly huge problem because of all of the endocrine disrupting chemicals in our world." If you're dating someone you consider "out of your league," is it possible you're giving them too much of a benefit of the doubt when they're waving every shade of red flag directly in your face? A quick shoutout to Drew Mistak, photographer (your email bounced back to Jordan when he tried to connect you to Hines Ward). Also to Stephen Cristopher, who's starting his own show to help others with their small businesses! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com!   Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-72-endocrine-disrupting-atheists/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David Burkus (@davidburkus) makes it easier for good ideas to leave the ivory tower of academia and get adopted by the people in the corner office who need it. He is the author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual. The Cheat Sheet: Why are smaller companies with limited resources better poised than giant corporations to work with potentially game-changing experimental policies?  You may be the average of the five people you spend the most time with, but nobody ever said it has to be the same five -- especially when project teamwork comes into play. Why former colleagues are some of your most valuable network connections -- and how you can keep in touch with them. Research shows that who is on your team and the company you work with have far more influence on your performance than just your skills. Do you hate your job? Science tells us why. But the good news is: you can do something about it at any level. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/david-burkus-under-new-management-episode-532/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices