The Art of Charm

Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) is a vertical skateboarding legend who enjoys household name status these days, but as we learn in discussing his book How Did I Get Here?: The Ascent of an Unlikely CEO, the journey's been far from easy. The Cheat Sheet: Why taking risks is important for the sake of progress. How personal success can be gauged independently of financial success. Why your personal brand needs to be genuine and something you're willing to protect. Why it's important to learn everything about your craft -- even if you've "got a guy who handles that." What The Tony Hawk Foundation does for underserved communities. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/tony-hawk-how-did-i-get-here-episode-575/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're our own worst critics. In this Minisode Monday, the challenge is to question the validity of the thoughts we have about ourselves. The Cheat Sheet: You're a heck of a lot more than just your thoughts -- which is a good thing, considering we all harbor negative thoughts about ourselves. Our thoughts determine our feelings, which in turn determine our actions, which later define our beliefs. Our thought patterns are largely formed out of habits; our belief processes get stronger as we get older -- regardless of how untrue these thoughts may be. The problem isn't the thoughts themselves; it's the fact that we take these thoughts as truth without questioning them just because they're ours. It's a cycle. Challenge these thoughts! If they're not moving you forward, do something about it. It's easier said than done, but questioning the validity of these thoughts is a good place to start. Is the risk of failure really impossibly high? Are you really not smart enough? Are you really so unattractive that you're completely unlovable? Who might disagree with these assessments, and why might they disagree? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, Beyond the Darkness, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-32-do-you-believe-you/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right! Your company just got bought and your future there is uncertain. Is this week's holiday party an ideal networking event with the new overlords? The best way to get depressed and down on ourselves is to assume that we can read other people's minds. Negative feedback needs to be taken in balance. (If we took our negative feedback at The Art of Charm too much to heart, we wouldn't have two shows under our belts -- let alone 574 full episodes, 31 Minisode Mondays, 93 Fan Mail Fridays, and regular bonuses along the way.) You've followed our advice for attracting new people into your life (particularly Kira Asatryan's Stop Being Lonely tips from episode 504). But what happens when you seem to attract particularly needy people? In our recent interview with returning guest Philip McKernan, Jordan got into the preparation required to make a good show. When it comes to life, are you fully preparing for your show? Q: How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? A: The light bulb has to want to change. A good friend making poor decisions may be a lot like that light bulb -- he or she may not even want your good advice. Quick shoutouts to Anna in Norway and Chris Rudolph on the road that intersected with AJ and Johnny! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-93-holiday-party-networking/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sally Hogshead (@SallyHogshead) tells us how we can make anything fascinating in as little as one hour by applying the principles of her book Fascinate: How to Make Your Brand Impossible to Resist. The Cheat Sheet: Are you pistachio or vanilla? Different is better than better -- learn why standing out and knowing how to fascinate is your greatest competitive advantage. Neurologically, the process of fascination is similar to the infatuation of falling in love. Discover how to find your particular strengths and use them for maximum leverage -- not just in business, but in life. Take the fascination test to identify what makes you different -- so you can do more of what you're already doing right and less of what detracts from your strengths. And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard’s Self Made Man here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/sally-hogshead-how-to-fascinate-episode-574/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

General Stanley McChrystal (@StanMcChrystal) talks about more than 34 years of service in the US Army and his book Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World. The Cheat Sheet: See leadership from a special forces perspective. Understand why flexibility and adaptability are the cure for an unpredictable landscape -- in contrast to a system that values strict adherence to rules that limit rather than guide best practices. Learn techniques for ways we can build flexibility in ourselves. Find out why relationships are the key to success of any organization -- military or otherwise. Discover how we can develop relationships and networks to improve our own organizations. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/general-stanley-mcchrystal-new-rules-engagement-episode-573/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, 30-year military aviator and procedure specialist Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel rejoins us to talk about respect and practical ways to avoid misunderstandings. The Cheat Sheet: Respect is an important foundation for avoiding misunderstandings. But what is it? To avoid misunderstandings, the military (across all branches) is careful to implement a common definition for certain words -- like respect. Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel says, at its core, "respect is a take on what is right and what is wrong." Try to think back to a time when you inadvertently offended someone -- or when you were inadvertently offended -- by a perceived lack of respect during the interaction. It's possible the misunderstanding was the result of not sharing a common definition of respect. This is further complicated by the fact that respect can be a noun (abstract) and a verb (concrete). How do you define respect? Ask a friend how they define respect. Do your definitions match? If you want to avoid misunderstandings going forward, this is a good place to start. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-31-respect-from-a-military-perspective/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What do you do when you have resting grumpy face (you may know it by other names)? You could try the "smizing" exercise at The AoC Challenge -- but don't tell Matthew Kimberly. How do you woo potential employers in another country when you need a work visa sponsorship? What would Dan Ariely say about a life coach's motivation in trying to get you to become a life coach? A listener who spent time in the Air Force chimes in on Jordan's jet lag cures. Could voice lessons help you stop mumbling and low talking? Quick shoutouts to everyone in The Art of Charm Challenge Facebook page! We hit 5,000 people over the Thanksgiving weekend here, which is not something we ever expected. One of Jordan's favorite things to do each morning is check in with the group and watch what everyone is posting in there. It's for women as well as men (in fact, women seem to be in the majority at the moment) -- you should join us! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf92/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) is a film and television writer, former host of The Lip TV, and long-time friend who turns the tables and interviews The Art of Charm's very own Jordan Harbinger (@TheArtofCharm) in this one. The Cheat Sheet: Learn more about The Art of Charm's origin story and its continuing evolution. What does it mean to "Huck Finn" your way through life? What's the cost of trimming the fat from an incredible success story? How can you tell the difference between people who offer genuine life lessons and so-called gurus who use the self-help platform as a pyramid scheme? The role of luck in business and relationships. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gabriel-mizrahi-jordan-harbinger-the-reverse-interview-episode-572 HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Winter (@susan_e_winter) is an Oprah-featured relationship expert and author who rejoins AoC to show us how to handle a breakup in minutes instead of months with tips from her recent book Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache. [Photo by Linda Tanner] The Cheat Sheet: Love is an extreme sport: we all need to know how to recover after a crash. Why do breakups seem to happen more often around the holidays? Learn how to dismantle your ex's power to affect you and move on. Understand and dispel a number of relationship fallacies -- namely the Perfect Partner Myth, the Bad Partner Myth, and the One and Only Partner Myth. Regain mental clarity, emotional serenity, self-esteem, confidence, and wholeness with the help of Susan's Breakup Triage steps. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the payment section! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! Looking for a new podcast (in addition to The Art of Charm rather than as a replacement, we hope)? Check out Mike Dillard's Self Made Man here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/susan-winter-breakup-triage-episode-571/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we explain why comparing yourself to others is a toxic habit -- and one you should make a promise to stop doing sooner than later. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Comparing ourselves to others we somehow perceive to be more accomplished is something we all do from time to time. The problem: it's a never-ending battle we can't win. To some, comparing ourselves to others almost becomes an obsession as unhealthy as drinking, smoking, drugs, or complaining. It's even worse if we compare ourselves to friends, family, or others we consider close -- because we can't appreciate their success without feeling personal loss. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success author Dr. Carol Dweck went a little deeper with this phenomenon in our show with her here. When we're close to people we perceive as successful, we should appreciate the value they place in us -- because it's a two-way street and there are probably ways they compare themselves to us. Be grateful. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Unmistakable Creative, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-30-stop-comparing-others/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it!http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices