The Art of Charm

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you listened to our recent episode with Darya Rose, you understand the importance of creating good habits without having to fall back on willpower. But where do you begin? More feedback on jealousy in response to the actress whose boyfriend has trouble with her romantic scenes, and advice given by another listener. While listening to our most recent episode with Susan Winter about breakups, a listener who recently went through a breakup was prompted to write in for advice about getting back into the dating game. The catch: she has HSV and dreads the responsibility of telling potential new partners. A casual relationship had to hit the brakes because your partner's mother passed away. It's a few months later and you want to pick up where you left off. How do you know if the other person's ready -- and what should you do if they're not? [For reference, Kimberly Seltzer talks about covert contracts a bit here.] If the married person you're having an affair with stops having sex with you because they've discovered you watch porn, there may be other issues at play here. You probably already know what our advice is going to be here, but come along for the ride anyway, won't you? Shoutouts to Jeremy Ashton from the HATponics crew and the CHS Lions Powers of Hope team who build aquaponics systems in Jamaica to help deaf kids grow food, and Meredith from her crazy dad in Wuxi! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf96/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) rejoins the show to discuss how we often label the other person in a relationship as "the crazy one" and why we need to examine where we land on the narcissistic continuum. Linda is a therapist and author of Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love. The Cheat Sheet: After a painful breakup, have you ever casually referred to the estranged party as your "crazy ex?" It's common to chalk up the strains of complex human dynamics as the results of someone else's mental disorder when we want to avoid taking personal responsibility for them -- and this is dangerous. While a real narcissist is hard to find, we all land somewhere on the narcissistic continuum. Learn what we can do if we think we or someone we know and love might be in a relationship with a narcissist -- or even be one. Understand the difference between being a true narcissist and exhibiting narcissistic qualities. And so much more... Are you trying to hire the right person for your business, but the best candidates keep slipping away? Let ZipRecruiter -- the fastest way to hire great people -- help you screen only the best here! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! With pain-free invoicing, FreshBooks helps entrepreneurs and freelancers save time and avoid a lot of the stress that comes with running a small business. Try a month of unrestricted use for free here (no credit card required)! Enter "ART OF CHARM" in the how you heard about us section. Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/580/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin de Becker (@gavindebecker) is the the author of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the security pioneer who designed the MOSAIC Threat Assessment Systems used at the top levels of government. The Cheat Sheet: Violence is a reality -- if you're not prepared for its possibility, you'll be caught off guard by its eventuality. Learn how to hone your sixth sense for danger. Discover how to spot the red flags that signify someone as a likely abuser, con artist, or predator. How can technology paired with human intuition protect us from people who mean us harm? How literal is the term "gut feeling?" And so much more... If you're only going to take one supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens, with its 76 natural ingredients, is what we recommend. Art of Charm listeners get 50% off here! Whether you're a lady or a gent, you don't need to know what MicroModal fabric is to enjoy the comfort of MeUndies; you just need to wear them -- support this show (and yourself) with MeUndies here for 20% off! You know James Altucher -- he's been on The Art of Charm, and Jordan's been on his show. We share a lot of similar guests, but we ask different questions. Check out The James Altucher Show here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/gavin-de-becker-gift-fear-episode-579/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. Last time he was on the podcast, Jon Acuff shared something he called the notecard exercise for people who wonder how to find good mentors. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Gather a big stack of 3×5 cards. You're going to write down one person per notecard. [00:43] Ask yourself these questions. [00:52] You'll probably end up with a huge stack of cards -- or, at the very least, a good starting point. [01:31] The purpose of this exercise is to illustrate that you have so many options that don't often come to mind, and now you've got some contacts to get the ball rolling. [02:00] You can also arrange the cards on a board and reach out to your contacts one by one to see what unfolds. [02:18] To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/mm34/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Why do we steer away from more spiritual topics on this podcast? Is Jordan on the level? Mr. Mumbles from Fan Mail Friday 91 gets some advice from -- of all people -- Jordan's mom! You don't have to rely on the bar scene to be social -- you can banter with others in plenty of other situations. Adopting idiosyncrasies of high performers won't necessarily make you a high performer. Quick shoutouts to Rachel Whitney on the acting grind in Hollywood and Phil, who lost 140 pounds and shook off depression -- and credits his AoC experience for galvanizing these positive changes! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/fmf95/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paul Bloom (@paulbloomatyale) is a developmental psychologist and author who returns to discuss his newly published book Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. The Cheat Sheet: How do you define empathy -- and do you believe it's a crucial component to "good" behavior? Learn why empathy actually does more harm than good by making us focus on smaller problems that affect one person over solving the bigger, intangible ones that can affect an entire population. How does empathy direct us to help in fundamentally biased ways? Why did we evolve empathy in the first place? Understand the differences between empathy, sympathy, and compassion (and why it matters in our decisions). And so much more... Gentleman's Box is a men's subscription service that provides men around the world with four to six men's style and grooming essentials in a monthly box. Use promo code "CHARM" at checkout to save $5 off any subscription option at Gentleman's Box here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/paul-bloom-against-empathy-episode-578/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julian Guthrie (@JulianGuthrie) is an award-winning journalist and bestselling author. She joins us to discuss her new book How to Make a Spaceship: A Band of Renegades, an Epic Race, and the Birth of Private Spaceflight. The Cheat Sheet: How Julian Guthrie gets in touch with hard-to-reach people. The types of habits and backgrounds shared by the movers and shakers of the aerospace industry -- itself a magnet for high achievers. How incentive competitions can spark an industry or even jumpstart a lagging field -- and why. Why it's crucial to be relentless in the pursuit of your vision and able to convey the sincerity of your passion. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of consistent rejection. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/julian-guthrie-make-spaceship-episode-577/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Minisode Monday, AppSumo and OkDork's Noah Kagan rejoins us to talk about putting simple systems in place to boost productivity. The good news: it's not as complicated as you may think. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: What are the two things that keep most people from being productive? What environment best lends itself to your productivity? Do you feel better when you're creating or consuming? Why is email such a poor way to maintain productivity -- and what might serve you better? How do you know when to stop dismissing something that's worth your time? And lots more... To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital Intensive here! Let us know about how you put today's Minisode Monday into practice! Leave a comment below, tweet with @TheArtofCharm in your response, or write to Jordan directly: jordan@theartofcharm.com (he reads everything)! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Listen to The Art of Charm, The Adam Corolla Show, and hundreds of your favorite podcasts with the free PodcastOne app (on iOS and Android) here! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/minisode-monday-33-productivity-tricks-with-noah-kagan/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: The path to entrepreneurship is seldom taken alone. Why does AoC advertise for brands you don't hear about on other podcasts? Our friend Karen "BattleAxe" Baetzel tells us how some unfortunate aviator call signs come to be (and tells Jordan what his might be). Why is the real joke always in the comments? Is your relationship truly worthy of the "it's complicated" label? Quick shoutouts to Darya Rose (our most recent guest) and Clotilde Dusoulier -- foodie bloggers currently enjoying AoC -- and Sunrise Emmanuel! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@theartofcharm.com! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/fan-mail-friday-94-bangers-and-bottlenecks/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Darya Rose (@summertomato) is a neuroscience Ph.D and author of Foodist: Using Real Food and Real Science to Lose Weight Without Dieting. On this episode, we talk about the psychology behind forming habits and what we can do to make lifestyle changes that last. The Cheat Sheet: If you're one of three American adults who qualifies as obese, you've probably tried dieting. Has it worked? What's the biggest mistake people make when trying to get healthy, lose weight, or make some other positive lifestyle changes? Why traditional willpower-based habits like dieting don't work. How to use your own psychology against yourself to shed old bad habits and make new good habits stick. What's the key difference between success and failure? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/darya-rose-foodist-episode-576/ HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices