The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we rethink the definition of success with J Douglas Holladay. Doug is the founder and CEO of Path North, a Georgetown University professor, former White House advisor, and the author of Rethinking Success: Eight Essential Practices for Finding Meaning in Work and Life. In an age when more and more people are finding themselves trapped by the idea of a nonstop pursuit of material wealth, it’s time to take a moment and redefine what success should mean before we run ourselves into the ground, so what should success look like and what can we do to find long-lasting success that genuinely makes us better people? What to Listen For What’s wrong with the current definition of success and why do we need to rethink it before we run ourselves into the ground? What is the difference between happiness and meaning, and how do you differentiate between the two so you are not chasing fleeting moments and rewards? Why is it more important to be comfortable sharing your weaknesses and failures instead of your strengths and successes? What role does forgiveness play in our ability to build and maintain relationships, and why can a lack of forgiveness be our downfall? How do we escape the trap of becoming our parents so we can take their best traits and ditch the worst traits? What can you do to find your own narrative while pushing back on everyone around you with their own narrative for who you are and who they expect you to be? What questions can you ask yourself to make sure you are living your story instead of the story everyone else wants you to live? What exercise can you do to integrate what you need to do and what you love to do? Many of us define success through a lens we develop over years of experience and exposure to the world around us. Unfortunately for many, this has turned into an endless pursuit of more stuff to fill the void inside us created by the same society dangling the trappings of wealth in front of us no matter where we go in the modern world. It’s time to redefine what success means so we can get out from under the obscene expectations set by society and start living a fulfilled life resulting from living a life inline with our values and not things. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode J Douglas Holladay’s website Rethinking Success by J Douglas Holladay Dr. Michael Rich | Center on Media and Child Health Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover connecting and commitment with Jenn Gottlieb and Chris Winfield. Jenn and Chris are the founders of Super Connector Media and have helped hundreds of humans master the art of connection. Connecting with people takes intentional effort, but where should that effort go in today’s digital age, what can you do to take the pressure off when connecting with new people, and how can you make the best of networking during the social isolation of COVID? What to Listen For What question can you ask yourself to give you a jumpstart at networking? What mindset can you adopt to take the pressure off when meeting new people and networking? What exercise can you do to identify the badass moments you’ve had in life even if you feel you haven’t had any? What is the Badass List and how can making one help you overcome imposter syndrome? How do you take solid steps toward the confidence you want? How can you make the most of networking during the social isolation of COVID? What is the 51% Principle and how can you use it to motivate yourself to do the things you know you need to do? What follow up strategy should you use after sending someone an initial pitch or introduction so you don’t turn them away from helping you? What does it mean to be pleasantly persistent? What can you do to make your LinkedIn profile stand out to potential recruiters and employers? What tips can you implement to make Zoom meetings more engaging? If you want to connect with a new person, the last thing you want to do is ask that person for something. That might sound obvious, but expressing something as simple as “Let’s connect” or “I’d love to pick your brain” is asking for something. Not only that, but it’s ambiguous, so the person on the receiving end doesn’t know why you want to connect or what you want to pick their brain about (and for how long (time = money)). If you want to connect with someone new, offer that person significantly more value than what you might want from them - ideally, make it so their response takes little to no effort, but hey, we all need to start somewhere. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Chris Winfield’s website Jen Gottlieb’s website Super Connector Be On TV Bootcamp! Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover assertive self-talk with Gary John Bishop. Gary is one of the world’s leading personal development experts and the author of New York Times best-seller, Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life. How you talk to yourself can mean the difference between success and failure, but what is the “right way” to talk to yourself, how do you avoid negative self-talk, and what can you start doing today to build the future you want and deserve? What to Listen For What can you do to overcome a victim mentality so it doesn’t set you up for failure moving forward? What can we do to overcome the victim mentality many of us feel after during or after a shitstorm like 2020? Why is changing our behavior crucial to changing our lives and why is positive thinking not enough? Why is it important for your own development to seek out challenges that force you out of your comfort zone? What is the difference between assertive self-talk and narrative self-talk, and why should you avoid one because it sets you up for failure? Why do words matter when it comes to describing our life experience and how do we choose words that don’t set us up for failure? What is wisdom and what can you do to become wise? What can you do to not get bitter or salty as you get older? What is a shitstorm and how do they help us develop strength and wisdom? What great exercise can you start doing today to be more positive about your future? The words we use to describe ourselves and the world around us determine how we live our lives and express ourselves to the people we meet, so the language we use can set us up for success or failure, and beyond that, your language must be backed up by action or all the words in the world won’t save you from disaster. Everyday we wake up, we are hitting the reset button and have the opportunity to take steps toward where we want to be, or take steps away from it by doing the same things we’ve always done. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Gary John Bishop’s website Wise As Fu*k by Gary John Bishop Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop Stop Doing That Sh*t by Gary John Bishop Do The Work by Gary John Bishop Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover conscious leadership with John Mackey. John is the CEO and cofounder of Whole Foods as well as author of bestselling Conscious Capitalism and Conscious Leadership. Being an effective leader is not just about leading the people around you, but being conscious of each individual and how you can help them grow around you, so what can you do to become a conscious leader, think about your competition in a positive way, and create an empowering environment at work and home? What to Listen For What is the difference between leadership and conscious leadership and how do you balance the two? How do you lead with love in the cutthroat world of business? How should you think about competition if you are a business owner so that you think of your competitors in a positive light rather than something that needs to be beaten? Why is it important for conscious leaders to have a strong vision and how can not having one lead to disaster? What 3 tips can you follow to learn from your mistakes if you want to be successful? What signals can you look for in prospective employees for high emotional intelligence? What can you do to create an empowering environment in your workplace? How can you respond to criticism in a healthy positive manner? Why is gratitude so important to being happy and what gratitude practice can you use to lead a happier and more fulfilling life? Being conscious of the people around you takes effort, even more so when you are also in a leadership position since you are relying on the people around you for your own success and so it can be easy to forget to treat everyone the way each individual wants to be treated. But nothing worthwhile in life is obtained with ease, and the effort you put into being a conscious leader will pay off in the long run when the people around you support you and do everything they can to help you succeed. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Conscious Leadership: Elevating Humanity Through Business by John Mackey Conscious Capitalism: Liberating the Heroic Spirit of Business by John Mackey Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the innovation stack with Jim McKelvey. Jim is an entrepreneur most known for cofounding Square and the author of The Innovation Stack: Building an Unbeatable Business One Crazy Idea at a Time. Innovation is not something that happens when you want it to, but when you’re backed into a corner and innovation is the only way out - so what can you do to prepare yourself and your company to make sure you’re in the best place to innovate when the time comes? What to Listen For What does it mean to get comfortable with discomfort and why is it important if you want to survive in a rapidly changing world? What is the difference between an entrepreneur and a business person? How can you tell if an idea is a billion dollar idea? What does it mean for an idea to be a billion person idea? How does your ability to build relationships influence your ability to build a business? Why is it important to be both audacious and humble as an entrepreneur? What is linguistic gravity and why is it important when trying to convey the significance of an idea you have? What is an innovation stack and why is it integral to your success as an entrepreneur? What is LaunchCode and how is it improving the industry of software development? Being an entrepreneur requires a certain amount of comfort with the uncomfortable. As an entrepreneur, you are doing something that has never been done before, or you’re doing something that you’ve never done before, which means there won’t be a clear cut solution to every problem you encounter. If you are not comfortable with being uncomfortable, it will be more difficult to solve the hard problems and you will be more likely to walk away after being uncomfortable for too long. The most successful entrepreneurs appreciate the feeling of discomfort because they recognize that is where the real learning and innovation takes place. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode The Innovation Stack by Jim McKelvey Jim McKelvey’s website LaunchCode - “Land Your Dream Job in Tech” Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover vulnerability and curiosity with Guy Raz. Guy is a host and correspondent who has interviewed more than 6,000 people, is the co-creator of How I Built This and the TED Radio Hour, and is now the author of How I Built This: The Unexpected Paths to Success from the World’s Most Inspiring Entrepreneurs. Expressing vulnerability and genuine curiosity can lead to fantastic conversations, so what does it mean to be vulnerable in a conversation, how can you inspire others to open up more, and how do you choose to be more curious? What to Listen For How did Guy Raz get his start as a podcast host? What can you do to inspire people to open up more in conversation? What can you do if you are struggling with depression and you’re not sure where to turn? Why are more and more people contending with depression and anxiety today and what can we do about it? What is the secret to happiness and why is it simpler than many of us think? How can you change the way you view risk so it doesn’t stand in your way to happiness and success? What mindsets allow you to face down adversity when you would normally give up and walk away? How can we help build resilience in children? What tips can you use to build a network that will help you find fulfillment and success? What can you do to recapture the curiosity so many of us let go of as we become adults? A nurtured sense of curiosity is one of the most important traits you can have when it comes to engaging people in interesting conversations. A conversation is a two way street - if someone expresses a thought or feeling, curiosity about her, or her thought or feeling, is what allows you to follow up with genuine interest in what she has to say by relating to your own experience and/or asking her follow up questions that let her know what she has to say is important. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Guy Raz’s website How I Built This by Guy Raz How I Built This - a podcast hosted by Guy Raz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to think for yourself with Dr. Vikram Mansharamani. Dr. Vikram is a global trend-watcher who shows people how to anticipate the future, manage risk, and spot opportunities, and is the author of Think For Yourself: Restoring Common Sense in an Age of Experts and Artificial Intelligence. We’re often told to think for ourselves, but how do you separate your thoughts from the bombardment of information we receive from our devices and the people around us and what can we do to think critically about the ideas and opinions we read and hear every day? What to Listen For What can you do to identify the influences in your life and keep them in check so you’re not constantly pushed in many different directions? How do you determine what decisions in your life are worth worrying about? What can you do to stop wasting so much time on the tougher decisions in your life so you can keep moving forward? What can you do to confuse the algorithms to help give you more unbiased information? What checks can you implement in your life to prevent blind dependence on technology? How do we decide when rules should be followed or broken? What questions can you ask to remove underlying biases for rules, recommendations, or prescriptions? What are the four types of decisions we make and how should we approach each one? What is the Cynefin framework and how can it help you in complex decision making? What is the value in being a generalist vs an expert, and how do we balance the two in our own lives? What can you do to sort through the misinformation to find the truth? Being able to think for yourself is an increasingly important skill as we continue drowning in ideas and opinions from the people around us and screens in front of us. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Think For Yourself by Vikram Mansharamani Vikram Mansharamani’s website The Cynefin framework Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck from your busy mind with Dr. Jessica Borushok. Jessica is an award winning author and recognized expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy who has helped hundreds transform their relationship with their thoughts and optimize their world. Busy minds keep many of us up late at night needlessly worrying, so what can we do to calm our minds so we can be more present and more productive and what does science say about why our minds race? What to Listen For What does science say about why our minds race when we’re bored? What are the two ways we use social media and which one is detrimental to your mental and emotional well being? Has technology made our minds busier, and if so, how do we deal with it? Is an affinity for worrying a result of nature or nurture? What question can you ask yourself to figure out if you’re worrying to solve problems or just worrying because you can’t quiet your mind? What can you do to calm your mind when it’s racing? What is the best way to connect with other people? How can you know how to be authentic if you don’t know who your authentic self is? What questions can you ask yourself to decide if your present actions are helping or hurting you? Our minds are great at manufacturing an endless stream of thoughts, but most of our thoughts are not worth our valuable attention, otherwise we would never get anything done. We also can’t just shut our minds off because it’s the mind’s job to never stop thinking, so what can you do if you feel you are constantly overwhelmed with what is going on between your ears? Most importantly, remember that you are not your thoughts - you are the observer of your thoughts. Your mind is like a roommate you can never kick out, so it’s crucial that you build a healthy relationship with it rather than trying to fight it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/CHARM. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day. Resources from this Episode The Busy Mind Psychologist - Dr. Jessica’s website Dr. Jessica on Instagram Busy Mind Reboot: 30 Days to Your Best Self Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover imposter syndrome with Dr. Jill Stoddard. Dr. Stoddard is a psychologist, author of Be Mighty, speaker, co-host of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, entrepreneur, and women’s advocate. Imposter syndrome is a fact of life for anyone who is trying to push themselves and it can lead to extreme self-sabotage if left unchecked, so what can you do to overcome it, what does the science say about the topic, and how do you talk to people about it in order to move past it? What to Listen For What is imposter syndrome and what can you do to overcome it so you don’t sabotage your own success? Where does the research suggest that imposter syndrome comes from? Why do we struggle to internalize success and what can you do to change that so you don’t feel insecure about the work you do? What are the 5 subtypes of imposters and how can knowing yours help eliminate your insecurities? What can you do to overcome the fear or concern around asking for help? What can we do to counteract feelings of imposter syndrome and move forward from them? Why is understanding your values important to overcoming your imposter syndrome and what can you do to figure out what your values are? How do you deal with imposter syndrome if you’re constantly around people who don’t respond positively to you opening up and being vulnerable? Why is it easier to connect with people who are open and honest about their flaws? Imposter syndrome will always be a part of our lives if we are focused on improving ourselves, so while we cannot eliminate it, we can find ways to reframe it and minimize its impact on our daily lives. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Jill Stoddard’s website Be Mighty - by Dr. Jill Stoddard Psychologists Off the Clock - co hosted by Dr. Jill Stoddard The 5 Subtypes of Imposters by Dr. Valerie Young What are Your Core Values? Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to focus on what matters most with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven C. Hayes is a professor and author of 44 books and nearly 600 scientific articles, his career has focused on an analysis of the nature of human language and cognition and the application of this to the understanding and alleviation of human suffering. It’s easy to let your life get derailed when you don’t have a solid understanding of what matters to you, but what can you do to determine your guiding values and how can you differentiate between the important thoughts you have and those that just distract you? What to Listen For What are the 6 processes can you implement to lead a more intentional life you find fulfilling? Why is the pursuit of good feelings and avoidance of bad feelings detrimental to the human experience? Why is it important to learn how to feel, and how do you learn how to appreciate “bad” feelings? What exercise can you do before seeing someone to put yourself in a great mood? How do you differentiate between thoughts that define you and thoughts that you’re experiencing, so you don’t have to feel like crap just because you’re thinking something negative about yourself? What can you do to define your values so you have a strong guiding compass in life and don’t get bogged down by insignificant details and failures? Should we trust our experience or our minds, and why can one lead to failure and time wasted? What are the 3 C’s that can lead you to a more clearly defined and fulfilling life? How can you deal with the thoughts that lead you to failure and avoidance? There are an infinite number of things we could think about in a given day, but we only have 24 hours to experience them, so the thoughts we choose to focus on can have a lasting impact on not just our mental well being, but our long term happiness and success. Not having a solid foundation of guiding values can make it all too easy to fall into a trap of focusing on thoughts, feelings, and experiences that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Whether you’re communicating with your team online or working on a project, Grammarly is the digital writing tool you can always rely on to get your message across clearly and effectively, across mobile and desktop platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at grammarly.com/charm. Resources from this Episode A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Dr Steven Hayes Dr. Steven Hayes’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices