The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover focus and attention with Dr. Amishi Jha. Dr. Amishi Jha received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis, is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and is the Cofounder and Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative. It seems like our attention spans are getting shorter every year, but are they really, what can we do to improve our ability to focus, and how do we deal with the countless entities always clawing for our attention everywhere we look? What to Listen For Introduction and Dr. Amishi’s origin story – 9:00 How does meditation better equip us to deal with everything that is fighting for our attention in daily life? What is attention and why should we care? – 19:24 What are the three components of attention and how do mindfulness practices influence our ability to pay attention? What mindfulness exercise can you start doing now to begin seeing the benefits of meditation? Are our attention spans actually getting shorter? How do we use our brain to combat our own lack of attention or focus? The Finder Flashlight Practice for developing focus – 31:20 What can you do to help your children learn to pay attention and focus? What advantages do people with ADD/ADHD have that people without it don’t have? Improving focus while living under a lot of stress – 48:50 What 12-minute exercise can you do on a daily basis to boost your ability to focus, even in high stress, high demand situations and environments? Our ability to focus on something for an extended period of time is one of the significant differences between humans and other animals. However, like other animals we can easily be distracted and lose that focus. So what can we do in today’s world where everything in our daily lives is fighting for our attention? We can start by meditating (or implementing a similarly effective mindfulness practice) that can help us cultivate a sense of awareness that isn’t so reactive and easily distracted. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Amishi’s website Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day How to Tame Your Wandering Mind (TED Talk by Dr. Amishi) Dr. Amishi on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover networking with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Many of us don’t realize there is more to networking than simply showing up to events and introducing, so what kind of preparation should go into networking events, how do you know what value you have to offer those you meet, and how can you use digital platforms to be the super connector no one forgets? What to Listen For Intro to networking and Coach Michael’s recruitment – 0:00 What common misconceptions do people have about networking and interacting with people in your network? What 3 questions can you ask yourself to prevent you from wasting a life-changing networking opportunity? Networking hurdles and overcoming them – 9:50 What does science say about why so many of us feel uncomfortable about networking and what can we do about it? When and where should you avoid networking? Why is networking about more than just career development? Social capital and networking – 21:15 What are the 3 components of social capital and why do you need to know your social capital if you want to network effectively? What are the 2 strategies to networking and why do you need a mix of both in order to be successful at networking? Effective networking in the digital era – 34:50 What tips can you start using today to build an amazing network and connect with people you look up to? Why is it important to know your WHY when it comes to networking? What is the best way to introduce two people in your network? What are the best practices for following up with people you meet at a networking event (and what should you avoid doing)? Many of us view networking events as isolated opportunities to meet new people in which you only have the event itself to make new connections. The most effective networkers, however, know that is inefficient because that’s when everyone else is trying to do the same. Great networkers utilize the time before and after the events to start and strengthen new relationships. This can be as easy as messaging the attendees and speakers on LinkedIn before an event letting them know you are looking forward to meeting them and/or hearing their presentations. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Professional Networking Makes People Feel Dirty (HBS Article) Susan McPherson | Effortlessly Build a World-Class Network by Using These 5 Tips (AOC Podcast Episode) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance and burnout with Carey Nieuwhof. Carey is the author of the best selling “Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences” and the host of one of our favorite podcasts, The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. Introduction With all of the pressure to increase output and creativity these days, burn out is a real threat, so what are the warning signs you’re entering a dangerous burn out cycle, how can you avoid it, and how can you improve your skill set without risking burn out? What to Listen For Introduction and Carey’s history with burnout – 2:00 How do you manage the risks of burnout when building a business or focusing on your career? What does it mean to be at your best? – 14:10 What is one of the biggest myths about building a fulfilling career and life? What forms does burnout take and how can you recognize when you need help? The stress spiral and how to avoid it – 25:09 What are the warning signs you are stuck in the destructive stress spiral? What are the three types of energy zones we all have in a day and how do you identify them so you know when to do your best work and when to avoid doing work? Always be working on your gifts and skills – 43:45 How do world-class performers work to improve their talents and abilities? What do many of us allow our lives to be filled with that we should be saying no to? What exercise can you use to easily structure your week ahead of time so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or burned out? Why should you set goals for yourself if you want to learn how to start saying no effortlessly? If you are feeling burnt out at work, it might have less to do with how much you’re working and more to do with when you’re trying to work. It has been shown that humans have a specific window of peak energy during the day, and if you try to push yourself too far outside of that window, the effects can be detrimental to your productivity as well as your physical and mental health. By structuring your day around your individual peak window, you can revitalize your passion and productivity while easily saying no to work and appointments that don’t serve you. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor by Carey Nieuwhof Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences by Carey Nieuwhof The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover finding your life mission and turning it into a business with Brett Hagler. Brett is the CEO and Co-Founder of New Story, a Y Combinator graduate, and a cancer survivor recognized on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, named one of the Top 100 Most Intriguing Entrepreneurs by Goldman Sachs, and his company was named among Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Companies in the World” four different times. It’s no easy task to decide on a life mission, so what can you do figure out what yours is, why is it important to find work you’re passionate about or at least interested in, and how should you handle risk-taking and failure when pursuing a business idea that goes against the grain of mainstream thinking? What to Listen For What is New Story and why should you know about it? – 2:04 How did Brett Hagler realize solving homelessness is his life mission? What can you do to figure out what your life mission is? Why you should strive to do work you’re passionate about – 17:05 What hidden price do we pay for doing work we don’t find interesting or exciting? How can 3D printing be used to solve homelessness around the world? What’s it like going through Y-Combinator as a non-profit organization? How affordable will 3D-printed houses be and how soon will you be able to buy one? Building a base of loyal customers when starting a business – 33:50 What can you do to build a genuine connection with your customers when first starting a business that will set you apart from your competitors? How do you overcome self doubt when trying something new or experiencing success for the first time? What counterintuitive advice should you think about when starting and scaling a business if you don’t want to lose your best talent to your competition? Key strategies for handling failures in business – 47:50 What are the two ways to approach risk-taking when running a business and why should you avoid one? What are some of New Story’s greatest success stories? It’s true that the journey to finding your life mission is not easy. But if you want to be successful, it's worth taking the time and effort to find what you are passionate about—or at very least interested in doing. When starting a business for yourself, make sure you properly connect with your customers by providing them high-quality products they can't get anywhere else. And when failure strikes (and it will), use a few key strategies to handle tough times until better days come around again. Remember, "failure is just another word for opportunity." A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Brett Hagler’s website Brett Hagler on LinkedIn Brett Hagler on Twitter Brett Hagler on Instagram New Story website New Story on YouTube New Story on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover stress and anxiety with Dr. Jonathan Horowitz. Jonathan Horowitz received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology, and is the CEO and founder of the San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center where he helps people manage and overcome stress. Science is showing us that we are dealing with increased levels of stress and anxiety thanks to the pandemic, so what can you do to prevent your stress and anxiety from overwhelming you, how can you prevent burnout, and when do you know it’s time to seek professional help? What to Listen For Dr. Jonathan Horowitz’s origin story – 2:06 How easily can other people tell when you’re feeling nervous or anxious in a conversation? How does perfectionism get in the way of you achieving your goals and what can you do to move past it? Can you control whether or not people like you? Warning signs you’re not adequately managing stress – 22:40 What can you do to better manage your stress levels so it doesn’t damage your health and relationships? How does stress impact your ability to be creative and an effective problem solver? What can you do to help manage the stress of working from home and not having a clear distinction between home and work? Preventing burnout by practicing self-care – 37:56 What small but meaningful exercises can you do in your daily life to better take care of yourself so you don’t get overwhelmed by stress? What should you avoid doing if you don’t want to get overwhelmed by stress? How has our social anxiety been impacted by COVID and the lockdown and what can we do about it? How do you know when you should see a therapist? While short periods of stress (like exercise or solving a difficult problem) can provide countless benefits to our physical and mental wellbeing, long periods of chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our minds and bodies. But what can you do about it when it seems like being stressed out is normal? It comes down to small daily habits that any of us can implement in our lives because we all have a few minutes to spare to take better care of ourselves. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Jonathan Horowitz on LinkedIn San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Anne-Maartje Oud. Anne is a behavioral advisor, trainer, and the CEO & founder of The Behaviour Company based in Amsterdam. Your behavior plays an essential role in getting your message across, so what can you do to make sure your message doesn’t get lost, why is emotional validation crucial if you want to be a great leader, and how should you prepare for and handle conflict in the workplace? What to Listen For The biggest myths about reading body language – 1:30 What can reading body language tell you about someone and what can it NOT tell you? What questions can you ask yourself to find out what external and internal factors might be influencing your body language? What can you do if you are over analyzing your communication to the detriment of your relationships and career? The brain-body connection and how you feel – 18:05 What are easy ways you can convey trustworthiness in the workplace? What changes can you make to boost the effectiveness of your speaking and presentation style through Zoom? What are pacifying behaviors and why do we need to be on the lookout for them when talking to someone or a group of people? The importance of validation in the workplace – 36:46 What is emotional validation and why do you need to have a handle on it if you want to be an effective leader? What kind of feedback should you avoid giving if you want to lead your team effectively? DOs and DON'Ts of dealing with conflict in the workplace – 46:30 What are the 4 ways people use to deal with conflict and which ways should you avoid if you don’t want to lose your relationships? What can you do to prepare yourself emotionally for a difficult conversation or confrontation so you don’t lose your cool when it matters? What advice surrounding body language should you avoid at all cost? A person’s body language communicates a great deal about the person, but it’s not magic. In order to effectively understand body language, it’s important to dispel some of the myths surrounding body language so you know its limits. Body language can give you a glimpse into what a person might be feeling at that moment, but it cannot tell you what they’re thinking. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Anne-Maartje Oud on Twitter Anne-Maartje Oud on LinkedIn Art of Charm podcast with Joe Navarro The Importance of Validation by Joe Navarro, Anne-Maartje Oud Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Dr. Victoria Medvec. Dr. Medvec a master negotiator, Kellogg professor, CEO of Medvec & Associates, and is the author of Negotiate Without Fear: Strategies and Tools to Maximize Your Outcomes. Negotiating is a part of life, personally and professionally, so how should we be looking at it, how can we remove the fear and anxiety from negotiating, and what strategies can you implement from a professional negotiator to take your negotiating skills to the next level? What to Listen For Dr. Victoria Medvec’s origin story – 1:35 What do great negotiators enjoy about the act of negotiating? What are the biggest fears people have about negotiating that prevent them from getting what they deserve and what can you do to overcome those fears? What is the most important element of effective negotiation and how can you use it to overcome your fears of negotiating? Creating win-win negotiation outcomes – 12:59 How can you think about future negotiations in a way that makes both parties excited about the outcome? What questions can you ask in a negotiation to get a better understanding of what the other party is looking to get out of the negotiation? What does it mean to prepare for a negotiation and how can you show the other party during the negotiation that you’ve put in the work ahead of time? Common traps many expert negotiators fall into – 23:07 What are the 3 most common traps experienced negotiators fall into and what can you do to avoid falling into those traps? How do you bring creativity into negotiating to ensure both parties walk away from the negotiation with a win? Why are emotion and storytelling important in the art of negotiation? Managing emotions during negotiations – 37:00 What 4 steps can you take to manage the emotions during negotiations to prevent them from ruining a deal and making you and/or your company look bad? How do you effectively negotiate your salary to get what you deserve while also giving the company a positive outcome? How do different generations view negotiation and why is it important? What are We typically associate the word “negotiation” with negotiating a raise or negotiating the price of a car, but in reality just about anything can be negotiated. Unfortunately, many of us never try to negotiate because negotiating seems intimidating, or we just assume the price or cost of something is set in stone. If you want to get what you deserve out of life, no one is going to give it to you, you must be willing to know your worth and ask for it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Negotiate Without Fear by Victoria Medvec Medvec & Associates: Critical Decision and Negotiation Partners website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Charisma can make the difference between a fulfilling life and a depressing lonely existence, but what actually is charisma, why is it so powerful, and how can you develop it to bring out the best in you and the people around you? What to Listen For What is charisma? – 1:10 How does science define and perceive charisma? What is it about charismatic leaders that makes them stand out and what can you learn from them? Can charisma be learned? The importance of being present – 11:02 What are the three internal dials you can play with in order to figure out the level of charisma best suited for your personality? What does it mean to be present and why is it important if you want to be charismatic? Turning up your enthusiasm – 26:30 What do many people get wrong about enthusiasm and what does it mean to live with more enthusiasm? What simple changes can you make right now to be more enthusiastic in your interactions with other people? What easy steps can you take to increase your enthusiasm and put you in a better mood? Confidence is the key to unlocking your potential – 40:15 When is confidence most useful and why do those times also allow you to strengthen your confidence? Charisma might feel like something a person just has, but like many traits, it can be broken down into easily understood components. Once you understand what those components are, you can then take steps to develop them and allow your personality to shine by being a more charismatic version of yourself. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift Skills vs. Attributes: What Should You Focus On Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover memory improvement and competition with Dr. Johannes Mallow. Johannes is a 2-times World Memory Champion, completed a PhD thesis on the topic of Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), and worked as a researcher and engineer at the University of Magdeburg. Our ability to recall complex information is one of our defining characteristics as humans, but what do we get wrong about memory, what daily exercises can you perform to improve your memory, and what can you learn about memory from a memory world champion? What to Listen For Dr. Johannes Mallow’s journey into memory games – 1:46 What do people enjoy about memory competitions? What exercises can you do to train your memory and improve it? How does Dr. Johannes Mallow memorize a deck of cards in 20 seconds? The science of memory vs the sport of memory – 14:35 What is the brain great at memorizing and how can you use that fact to avoid forgetting important information? How does training for memory sports impact your memory in your day to day life? Simple strategies for memorizing people’s names – 21:39 What can you do if you find yourself in a high pressure situation and you need to remember something but your mind goes blank? What daily memory exercises can anyone perform to improve it? Most common misconceptions about training memory – 39:06 Why should we be concerned about developing our memory when we have powerful devices at our fingertips to remember things for us? The secret 2000 year old memory technique – 51:13 What is the memory palace technique and how can you use it to remember almost anything? What is the keyword method and how can you use it to learn new languages? Your memory is like a muscle. The more you train your ability to recall information, the better you will become at it. Humans have been working to improve their memory for thousands of years and have come up with some great techniques along the way, and if you have five minutes to spare each day, you can improve your memory so you stop forgetting names of people you just met, important upcoming events, and your anniversary! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Johannes Mallow’s website The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover becoming exceptional with Joe Navarro. Joe is a retired FBI special agent and recognized as one of the world’s foremost authorities on reading nonverbal communication. He has co-authored many international best sellers including What Every Body is Saying, The Dictionary of Body Language, Advanced Interviewing Techniques, and his latest one, Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart. Being an exceptional human doesn’t require anything out of the ordinary, but there are a handful of necessary traits to focus on if you want to be exceptional, so what are they and how do you develop them? What to Listen For What does it mean to be exceptional – 1:53 Why aren’t we taught how to be exceptional or charming when we’re growing up, and how can we learn to be so today? The five traits of exceptional people – 15:21 What does self-mastery look like in today’s world and why is it important if you want to be exceptional at anything? Why is the skill of observation important and what can you do to improve it? What is more important to us than validation and why do we mistake it for seeking perfection? The biggest misconception about giving validation – 38:30 Can you give validation to someone while also disagreeing with them? How are validation and trust related? Strategies to start divisive conversations on the right foot – 45:02 How do you have a productive conversation with someone who is clearly married to an ideology and doesn’t want to listen? What simple exercise can you use to better understand yourself and your worldview? Anyone can be exceptional, but not everyone is willing to understand what it takes and work at it. For example, being observant is a trait of exceptional people according to Joe Navarro, and being observant seems like a rather basic trait, doesn’t it? The problem is most people don’t think about or question what they observe. When most people think they’re being observant, they’re really just noticing something and instantly passing judgement on it. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Joe Navarro’s website Be Exceptional by Joe Navarro What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices