The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover digital body language with Erica Dhawan. Erica studied human innovation and collaboration for over 15 years, shared her insights with over 200 audiences around the world, and wrote the new best-selling book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance. Now that we are working remotely more than ever before, our digital body language is crucial to our success in the workplace, but what is digital body language, how is it different from physical body language, and what can you start doing today to stand out as a leader? What to Listen For What is digital body language? – 8:09 Should you be concerned about your background on a Zoom call? What should you be concerned about most when you’re on a video call? How is digital body language different from the body language we use when face to face? How do you figure out what norms are acceptable in digital communication? – 13:44 What assumptions do we need to stop making when communicating digitally and how are those assumptions eroding at our ability to communicate effectively? What can we do to make sure we’re not misreading messages and emails? What can we do to set clear expectations for digital communication? – 19:55 How do we collaborate competently in the digital age when so much time is wasted in unclear communication? What are the four anxiety provoking events in digital communication? – 22:52 What two questions should you ask yourself when you realize you’re getting stressed out or anxious about a message or email someone sent you? What should you do if you feel like a team member or friend seems disinterested in a group conversation or Zoom call? How do Zoom calls limit the generation of new ideas? – 34:44 What can you do to foster team chemistry and help team members work together more effectively without team building activities? What three things can you do to maintain engagement over Zoom calls? – 40:00 What can you do to be more engaged in meetings if you are the only person on Zoom and everyone else is in a meeting room together? What are the best practices for onboarding digital new hires? How is our digital body language changing our physical body language? – 54:15 What ground rules can you incorporate today to set expectations for digital communication? The digital age has caused an interesting shift in the way we communicate. Our tone and facial expressions are no longer conveyed through words alone, but also in our digital body language. Our digital body language is conveyed through many things including what’s behind you when you’re on a Zoom call, whether you use Slack or email to send a message, and the “tone” of your text messages. Therefore, it’s critical that we set clear expectations for digital communication to keep our teams on track and engaged as studies show up to 4 hours of productivity are lost per week due to unclear communication. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Erica Dhawan’s website Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance by Erica Dhawan The Digital Body Language Expert Course Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover psychological flexibility with Dr. Diana Hill. Diana helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Life throws curveballs at us all the time, but if you have psychological flexibility you can be prepared for them—so what is psychological flexibility, why is it detrimental to our health and fulfillment to be psychologically rigid, and how do you start developing psychological flexibility? What to Listen For Why did Dr. Diana Hill pursue a career in ACT? – 0:00 What is psychological flexibility and why is it important for all of us to work on it if we don’t want to be crushed by the events and challenges in our lives? What are the 6 processes involved in psychological flexibility and why is it more important to focus on the processes than the resulting outcomes? Why does focusing on goals lead to disappointment in the long run? What makes some of us psychologically rigid? – 4:42 What areas in your life does psychological rigidity prevent you from being the best version of yourself? What can you do to identify the intrinsic values in your life so you can stop relying on future outcomes to bring you fulfillment instead of present processes? What is integrative psychology? What are the downsides of striving? – 15:25 What is experiential avoidance and how is it linked to unhealthy striving? What is values-based striving? How do you develop self-compassion? – 21:05 What practices can you start using today to develop self-compassion? Why is self-compassion important if you want to be a top-performer? Why does avoiding pain make life harder? – 36:20 How should we look at and deal with pain if trying to avoid it makes life more painful? What are self-stories and how do they limit our ability to perceive the world around us and achieve our potential? What can you do to help kids build psychological flexibility? – 43:58 Where should parents start if they want to help and encourage their children to build psychological flexibility so they are better able to deal with the challenges they will face in life? What value can you expect to get out of the ACT Daily Journal? What makes you resilient to the ups and downs of life? We all face challenges, but some are more flexible than others. Building psychological flexibility is a lifelong journey that requires self-awareness in your thoughts, emotions, behavior patterns, and relationships with others. The difference between being psychologically rigid vs. having resilience may seem like an abstract concept—but it can have drastic implications for our health and well-being over time if we're not careful! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr Diana Hill’s website Psychologists Off the Clock Podcast ACT DAILY JOURNAL: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to develop the confidence and fearlessness of Navy SEALS with Rich Diviney. Rich draws upon 20+ years of experience as a Navy SEAL Officer where he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. Since retirement in early 2017, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co. Leadership Institute and Simon Sinek Inc. Anyone can learn a skill, but the same cannot be said for attributes—so what is the difference between skills and attributes, how do you develop the attributes you do have, and how can you identify what your strongest attributes are so you can lean into them and be successful? What to Listen For Why did Rich Diviney want to be a Navy SEAL - 0:00 How did Rich’s SEAL training prepare him for the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic? Why is it important to train both the mind and body when it comes to developing resilience? How did military life prepare service persons for the pandemic - 11:10 What is elemental human behavior and how does it drive you to act the way you do? What can you do to better understand what advice will actually help you and what advice will waste your time? How do you figure out the life best suited for you - 18:04 What is the difference between skills and attributes and why is one more important in times of stress or uncertainty? What does it take to develop an attribute and can anyone develop any attribute? How can we create opportunities to develop attributes? - 25:24 How do you know what attributes are worth developing and which ones are a waste of your time? What is the difference between narcissism and arrogance, and which one is actually good to have in healthy amounts? If you’re a narcissist, what can you do to mitigate it and keep it in control? What attribute is critical to problem solving? - 36:02 How do Navy SEALS face their fears and what can you learn from how they do it? What can you do to develop your courage? Why is it important for everyone to develop their ability to take responsibility? What can you do to develop your confidence? - 48:26 How do you define true confidence? What actually is fear and how do we develop the ability to work through it? How do Navy SEALS handle uncertainty and how can we apply it to everyday situations? The world is in need of more individuals who can identify their strengths. If you know your strong points, then it will be much easier for you to find work that matches those talents and skills so that you are able to excel at what makes the most sense for YOU! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect with Rich Diviney on LinkedIn The Attributes by Rich Diviney The Attributes Self Assessment Tool Art of Charm Bootcamp! Core Confidence Coaching Program Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into the art of elevating small talk to deeper conversations. Discover the role of vulnerability in making meaningful connections and learn the cave analogy to guide your discussions. Unveil the FORD acronym as a tool for generating engaging questions. Hear strategies for sharing your experiences without seeming boastful. Finally, find out how to transform dialogue into a source of happiness and communal joy, enhancing both personal relationships and social interactions. Connect on a whole new level!

In today’s episode, we cover winning with Tim Grover. Tim is the CEO of ATTACK Athletics, a keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, athletes (including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade), and elite achievers, and is the preeminent authority on the science and art of physical and mental dominance and achieving excellence. Winning is something we all experience in a lifetime, but what does it take to win at winning, how do winners manage their time with everything else they do, and what do you need to do if you want to be the best at what you do? What to Listen For How did Tim Grover get his start working with Michael Jordan - 0:00 How do you build trust with clients when starting out as a trainer or coach? What do elite performers do to manage self-doubt and insecurity, and what can you learn from how they do it? The three categories of winners and their mindsets - 10:54 What 3 categories can individuals be broken down into and why will being in 2 of the 3 categories prevent you from being the best at what you do? How do you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner? What mindset do you need to stay ahead of everyone around you who is also trying to win? Why is it not enough to only know the fundamentals if you want to win? What do you need to look for to make winners keep winning - 24:00 What allows people to win when everyone around them can’t? How do you coach people through their insecurities so they can come out the other side as winners? How do professional winners push through their distractions to stay focused? Where did the Mamba Mentality originate and what did it represent off the court? Develop the focus and time management of champions - 39:42 What is the difference between managing your time and managing your focus, and why should you avoid one if you want to be the best at anything? What do you need to do to create balance and time in your life? What role does selfishness play in winning? How do you set boundaries when you’re surrounded by people who want your attention all the time? Elite performers don’t just have talent and skill. They also use their minds to manage self-doubt, insecurity, and distractions in order to stay focused on the task at hand. And there is no one way that works for everyone. What we can say with certainty about how you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner comes down to this simple but powerful truth: You must see your failures as opportunities for growth—as learning experiences which will help make you better than ever before! A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Tim Grover’s website Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover our inner voices and chatter with Dr. Ethan Kross. Ethan is an American experimental psychologist, neuroscientist and writer, who specializes in emotion regulation. He is a professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan and director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory there. We all have that voice in our heads that can feel out of our control sometimes, but why is it there, how can you use it to build confidence, and how does the world around you influence it in good and bad ways? What to Listen For Introduction - 0:00 Why is it a bad idea to turn inward when you encounter challenges in life, and what should you do instead? Why do we have a voice inside our heads that never stops talking? How can you use the voice in your head as a tool to strengthen your mental capability? What is the dark side of our inner voice and what can we do to manage it? How do you manage your inner voice - 10:30 What can we do to harness the power of our inner voice to help us rather than hold us back and limit our potential for success and happiness? How can the people around you be helpful or harmful when it comes to managing your inner voice? What is co-rumination and how can it hinder your ability to see situations clearly and move forward after painful experiences? Tips for nurturing healthy chatter - 40:30 Is it possible to silence the chatter in our heads? How does digital interaction with one another harm us compared to real face to face interaction? What two things should you consider when it comes to social media and your inner voice? What is good sleep hygiene and why is it important to get uninterrupted quality rest? What can you do to help people who might be struggling but refuse to ask for help? Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice can help you build unbreakable confidence and lead effortlessly. You can start by acknowledging it and making room for it in your life, instead of trying to silence or ignore it. Observe it and pay attention to when you’re giving it too much control over what you’re thinking about or feeling. As you do that, be open-minded about the world around you—engaging new people, experiences, and ideas will help broaden your horizons, push your confidence higher, and keep your inner voice in check. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Ethan Kross’s website Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Nicole LePera, a clinical psychologist and creator of @the.holistic.psychologist, discusses the importance of bridging the gap between insight and action for personal growth. She addresses identifying trauma, self-sabotaging behaviors, and trauma bonds in relationships. The podcast explores overcoming resistance to change, managing expectations, and breaking free from the overachiever pattern.

In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace? What to Listen For The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00 What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience? Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it? How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it? What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection? Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56 Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings? What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships? Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead? What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged? What is the signature trait of a successful relationship? What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38 What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships? How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships? What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom? How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you? What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves? Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael. Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it? What to Listen For The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00 What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation? What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone? Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends? The conversation formula - 13:20 What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know? What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk? What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it? What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20 Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you? What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk? What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them? What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation? Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the idea of mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Caroline has spent the last 30 years researching the nature of mental health and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn how to use their mind to detox and grow their brain to succeed in every area of their lives including school, university, and the workplace. We are all dealing with mental messes in varying degrees, but what is a mental mess, how does your mental mess impact your ability to find happiness and success, and what process can you start using today to clean up your mental mess? What to Listen For What is a mental mess and why is it important to manage? - 0:00 What is neuroplasticity and how can you take advantage of it on a daily basis to improve the quality of your life? What is the difference between the brain and the mind and why do we put so much attention on one at the detriment to the other? What can you do to replace your negative thoughts & beliefs with positive, empowering thoughts & beliefs? What’s wrong with the way we treat mental health? - 16:27 How is our current perception of mental health treatment preventing us from making significant progress in our overall mental health and happiness? How has the media negatively impacted our mental health and the way we process our mental messes? How does your mental health influence the length of your lifespan and what can you do to live a longer, healthier life? What is the neurocycle and how can it improve our lives? - 37:15 What are the 5 steps of the neurocycle and how can you use it to heal grief? Why is it important to develop a self-awareness of your mental state? How do you prepare yourself for those moments when you know you will feel anxiety or fear so they don’t stop you from achieving success? Mental health is an important part of everyone’s existence. In the same way we should take regular steps to maintain and improve our physical health, we must do the same for our mental health. If we don’t, then a mental mess builds up over time. This mental mess clouds our thinking, influences our beliefs in a negative manner, and slowly eats away at relationships. Using the neurocycle described by Dr. Caroline Leaf, you can start cleaning up your mental mess and improve your quality of life today. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Resources from this Episode Dr. Caroline Leaf’s website Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf Neurocycle App Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices