In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Margarit Davtian who is a consumer rights activist, social scientist, and “cult slayer”. She exposes deceptive marketing practices, cult psychology, and New-Age conspirituality trends in the coaching industry. Margarit, one of the founders of Ethics For Coaching, helps individuals seeking support in life coaching, business consulting, and self-help industries—the project shields against grifters and scammers who exploit vulnerable positions with undeliverable promises and unethical practices. Ethics for Coaching’s mission is to educate, support, mediate, and raise awareness, giving consumers the power to make more informed choices. They aim to be a reassuring presence in an industry that can sometimes be hyped up, confusing, and misleading. As you will know if you’ve been listening for a while, this is an area I am increasingly passionate about. I have seen bad actors take advantage of the trust and hope of good people, who have been convinced to spend ridiculous amounts of money on “high ticket offers” that promise the world and deliver disappointment. Calling Out Multilevel Marketing Scams and Coaching Cults I believe that coaching is a fantastic tool that can help us unpick challenges and find clearer ways forward in a desirable direction. So it’s frustrating to see so many horror stories of its manipulative misuse by bad actors. I hope this conversation contributes in some small way to highlighting signs of a multilevel marketing scams and coaching cults so we can all distinguish between good and bad practices and make more informed decisions about what we are looking for and what a particular person is offering. Margarit and I delve into the Four Pillars of Ethical Coaching. These are beneficial not only for coaches but also for clients, who should understand what to expect from the coaches they work with. The Elements of Ethical Coaching Include: Clear expectations and outcomes Be collaborative, non-judgemental, and willing to accept feedback as a coach Deliver on your promises (and promise no more than you can deliver) Communicate with clarity and honesty Don’t use scarcity and urgency marketing tactics Don’t use mindset manipulation tactics to overcome objections No high-pressure selling Understand potential sources of emotional/psychological harm Don’t use coercive control (e.g. programming fears/phobias or using thought-terminating cliches) Commit to establishing competence and maintaining professional boundaries Establish contracting between coach and client Be open about areas of knowledge and expertise (and what is beyond your scope) State and clarify objectives and outcomes Testimonials should only be used with explicit permission No coercive conditions for joining a program (e.g. you MUST share a positive testimonial) Make relevant qualifications, certifications, and credentials known Include refunds, plagiarism, risk management plan (how a client knows what to do when they have a concern) Want to Know More About Ethics For Coaching? They are looking for coaches who are passionate about this stuff to continue the work they’ve started. Find Margarit on Instagram and YouTube Conscious Revolution Podcast | Substack https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjxP30X9Asg&

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I talk about some things that came out of our conversation in The Haven around the prompt, “I can’t wait”. What do you struggle to wait for? I can’t wait! This phrase contains potential for some playful excavation. You’ve probably uttered these words. I have, many times! Sometimes, we have to wait for possibilities, situations, and people to arrive, change, or evolve. Waiting can be painful, exciting, or boring. Resistance to waiting uses a lot of energy. One of my favourite places to observe this is in liminal spaces such as airports, lobbies, and queues (lines). An individual with potent, impatient energy can infect a whole crowd. Our nervous system can sense this coiled-spring-energy around us. It might seek to establish safety and connection through co-regulation or ignite into dysregulation, sensing strong fight/flight readiness in the environment. I wonder what comes to mind for you when you think about the phrase: I can’t wait… For the next episode. For kickoff. To feel better. Around. To get on the road. To get this over with. To get there. …it makes me testy. To see you. For this to start. For this to end. To leave. For the lunch break. To go. …it makes me anxious. To get home. …I need to keep myself busy. More to add? Pop them in the forum! A Stitch in Time… The saying goes that “a stitch in time saves nine”. So, if you notice an issue, you can fix it now rather than wait for it to unravel. But it’s also true that an impatient stitch today can create chaos down the line, and the right thing to do is pause, assess options, and wait for a better fix. We throw time, money, and energy into things to avoid waiting. We might replace being useful (informed decision-making) with feeling useful (just doing something). When we do this, we can incur more expenses and amplify the problems in the long run. How much present pain is caused by the fact we couldn’t wait and so rushed into a decision? What helps us wait? Highly sensitive people will often pause to check before taking action. This checking reflects the depth of processing and takes place mainly beyond conscious awareness in the nervous system. It can sometimes mean that others must wait for HSPs to get on board, get started, and decide. Sometimes, this pause is frustrating because it can happen with decisions about inconsequential things that are safe and enjoyable. But there are many situations where sensitivity can either reinforce and solidify a particular course of action (reasons why it makes sense) or zoom out and consider logical byproducts of taking the proposed path (reasons why we will regret this down the line). Through its deeper processing, sensory sensitivity provides vital checks and balances to the quick-to-act instincts of others. Both are necessary elements for successful collective survival and flourishing. However, sensitive voices often get lost in the noise, especially when they are not valued and encouraged by the broader culture. Reflection Questions Where do we have to wait? What do we find it hard to wait for? What do we lose when the wait is over? What does waiting give us? What impact do people who can’t wait have on us? There are many angles from which we can look at these words. Watch The Kota Replay Protected Content Are you a Haven member? Login to access this content. Not yet a member? Register here.

Over the past few years, there have been a bunch of developments in sensitivity research. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share some reflections on the Second International Conference on Sensitivity Research. Michael Pluess, Francesca Lionetti, and Corina Greven oprganised it through The University of Surrey. In all honesty, academic presentations aren’t really my cup of tea. My mind drifts too easily. But I munched on bananas and persevered because I really think this stuff matters. So I hope this episode helps others who are interested in the essence of sensory processing sensitivity research right now. Grab a banana, strap in, and explore some of the latest high sensitivity research with me! The Second Conference on Sensitivity Research When the train arrived at 1:26 p.m., I knew it would be tight to make the 2 p.m. start. On top of that, the heavens were saturating the world below with rain. All in all, the thirty-minute walk home could have been more appealing. I decided, instead, to hunker down in a café around the corner, and from there, I would watch the International Conference on Sensitivity Research. The event was organised by Michael Pluess, Francesca Lionetti, and Corina Greven through the University of Surrey on Wednesday 22nd May 2024. Academic presentations aren’t easy for me to follow at the best of times. It takes me many bananas to stay focused, and even then, my brain wanders and falters. Add a busy coffee shop, indulging my love of people-watching, and let’s say I am glad they recorded the conference! Douglas Adams said, “If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else.” Well, I do want to understand this stuff, so I’m embarking on what currently feels like an impossible challenge… I will attempt weaving together what I understood of the research and explain it to the best of my ability. Please note that I do this in a spirit of humility. I invite you to clarify, contradict, and correct any misunderstandings. No Cut-Offs Before I get into the conference content, I want to share these three words. “No cut-offs” was the collective agreement among the panel at the end of the conference. Despite my initial assumption, it wasn’t fashion advice. They weren’t attempting to disuade attendees from repurposing old jeans by chopping them into denim shorts for the summer. Instead, “no cut-offs” referred to how we measure and talk about high sensitivity in individuals. Because sensitivity is complex and on a continuum, it is difficult to definitively measure and label a tipping point when someone becomes a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). So when I refer to HSPs in this post, it’s a description of those who score higher on the sensitivity scales. During the conference, we heard from researchers who have built on the existing foundations to better understand the nature, purpose, and characteristics of sensitivity. The studies examine Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) in different contexts and under various environmental and cultural conditions. They also show new scales for observing, measuring, and assessing factors associated with sensory processing sensitivity. I am personally interested in how the research can help us design, create, and maintain favourable spaces and routines for more sensitive people. And how we can support those working with HSPs with a better practical understanding of the associated traits. I also want to explore how we might nurture and amplify the voice of high sensitivity as part of our collective survival strategy. Getting Started As it turned out, I could have made it home and still had time to put the kettle on before the conference. It started in beautiful chaos. Oh, don’t you just love technology! We joined the Teams meeting and watched as Art Aron tried unsuccessfully to get the sound working on his end. I’m sure everyone in the group felt an empathetic surge of mildly flustered panic. Michael Pluess remained cool (on the outside, at least) and calmly invited the crowd of 200+ attendees to relocate to Zoom. He kept a wonderfully peaceful presence even though he must have tasted a little stress beneath the surface. He’s one of those people that naturally gives you the feeling that you’re in safe hands. 30 Years of Sensitivity Research and Collaboration Once the technology agreed to play ball, Art and Elaine Aron began the conference by highlighting some of their collaborators from the past three decades, notably a sensitive Pumpkin-Seed Sunfish. Surprising! They picked out some favourite sensitivity research through the years, including one showing how highly sensitive people are naturally less affected by cultural biases in their perception of stimuli. Whether a person’s culture values the individual or the collective more highly impacts HOW individuals process and perceive data. It turns out that because of the deeper processing, HSPs can perceive ideas, people, and situations more objectively than less sensitive individuals. Elaine celebrated that, while for better or worse, environmental conditions have a greater influence on a sensitive nervous system, a highly sensitive person’s perception is less naturally swayed by the values and beliefs in the culture around them. This area interests me because it speaks to the value of high sensitivity in the collective context. Might it also mean that HSPs are less likely to get swept up in group-think and more likely to quietly question mob-minded assumptions? What could the upshot of that be for the voice of sensitivity more broadly? I’d be interested in learning about any research that follows this thread to see if there is a link. The Arons trotted through a few research headlines to give us a flavour of recent work. HSPs have been found to demonstrate higher emotional responsiveness to positive and negative images and can perceive emotions in other people more easily. Highly sensitive people are equally likely to be sensation seekers as the general population. And they’ve noticed a link between sensitivity to medications and the trait of SPS. Continued Confusion Surrounding High Sensitivity Elaine also discussed a study currently under review exploring the reasons for continued confusion surrounding the trait of high sensitivity. This is noteworthy because it will provide an opportunity to reevaluate and revise many of the assumptions that have become ingrained in popular discussions over the years. One of the reasons the trait sometimes receives criticism is the abundance of information disseminated through online popular culture, which often portrays an incomplete or even incorrect picture of what we know to be true. However, she also notes a palpable shift towards accepting and understanding the evidence, firmly establishing high sensitivity as a natural trait and not just a subject for popular self-help books. Other potential reasons for confusion include misconceptions about extroverted and high sensation-seeking behaviour, both of which remain common for HSPs. Additionally, most typical HSPs are less visible because they go about their lives without realising they are highly sensitive. Furthermore, while half of HSPs are men, they tend to be less visible, whether by choice or a lack of awareness. There are also inherent difficulties in observing the depth of processing, which is at the trait’s core. For example, it’s hard to spot people (and ourselves) pausing to notice before acting. The original HSP Scale misses essential aspects and underestimates the importance of depth of processing. HSPs also differ widely because of differential susceptibility (positive and negative environmental effects on sensitive individuals), sprinkling confusion on our expectations for how a highly sensitive person ought to sound, look, and act. Highly Sensitive Children in the School Context Jenni Kähkönen from Queen Mary University of London started the research presentations with her study into highly sensitive children. This centred on teacher-reported sensitivity collected through a newly developed Highly Sensitive Child in School Scale. Core Sensitivity On The Highly Sensitive Child in School Scale: a child easily noticing how others are feeling thinking deeply about things being very sensitive to injustice getting easily distressed when other children are fighting appearing to feel things deeply trying hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things These were consistent factors across Swiss and UK children and were identified equally in girls and boys. They found a link between the Overstimulation and Core Sensitivity scales in the UK but not Switzerland. Overstimulation is indicated by: a child struggling to focus in loud and chaotic situations needing quiet time after an exciting activity feeling easily overwhelmed when under pressure If a school environment is very good, the child might not display overstimulated behaviours. This may indicate that the environment is inherently calming to the child. Or it might mean the child waits to feel safe before displaying behaviours linked to overstimulation, i.e., once they get home at the end of the day. Several other differences existed between the two schools. In the Swiss study, the teacher-reported sensitivity predicted higher social competence and grades. This was not the case in the UK, where there was no correlation between sensitivity and higher social competence or grades. There was a link to predicting signs of worry for sensitive children in the UK, unlike in Switzerland, where no such internalising symptoms were identified. Higher sensitivity predicted lower externalising symptoms (attention issues, hyperactivity, and conduct problems) in both countries. Environmental Conditions and Sensory Sensitivity The research supports the notion that more sensitive children can benefit from calmer working environments and quiet time to recharge after exciting activities. Teachers should be mindful that social or time-pressured tasks may impact more sensitive children. But sensitive children can succeed when conditions are favourable. It is worth considering the impact of class size and classroom design in enabling more sensitive children to thrive. High Sensory Processing Sensitivity: Blessing or Challenge? Veronique de Gucht, from Leiden University explored whether high sensitivity might be considered a blessing or a challenge. She shared findings from studies into sensitivity, giftedness, and resilience. 6 Scales of Sensory Processing Sensitivity Veronique introduced the new Sensory Processing Sensitivity Questionnaire (SPSQ), an updated tool for understanding and measuring sensitive traits. The questionnaire covers six sensitivity categories and offers a more nuanced and comprehensive approach to sensitivity research. Negative Dimension of Sensitivity sensory discomfort emotional and physiological reactivity The study found those who score more highly for the two scales on the negative dimension, are more likely to experience physical or psychological symptoms like fatigue, physical complaints, depression, and anxiety. Positive Dimension of Sensitivity sensory sensitivity sensory comfort social-affective sensitivity aesthetic sensitivity There was a much lower link between those same symptoms and higher scores on the positive dimension. Using the two dimensions of sensitivity feels like a helpful step forward. It should allow us to see the impact of different sensitivity scales across various contexts. Giftedness and High Sensitivity Veronique shared a study examining the link between giftedness and SPS. It found that gifted individuals scored lower on the Negative Dimension Scales than the general population. There was no real difference on the Positive Dimension.  There is nothing in these findings to suggest sensory processing sensitivity makes an individual more likely to be gifted or that gifted people are more likely to have the SPS trait. A follow-up study explored whether resilience reduces the adverse effects of heightened sensitivity. It found that higher scores for the negative aspects of sensitivity correlate with lower resilience and higher symptoms. Whereas, higher scores for the positive dimension scales correlate with greater resilience and lower symptoms. This suggests that resilience has the potential to alleviate the negative impact of SPS on an individual. This is crucial for practitioners to consider when working with sensitive people. Interventions (therapy, coaching, training etc), can help HSPs cope with the negative aspects of sensitivity (sensory discomfort and emotional and physiological reactivity). But support can also enhance the positive aspects of sensitivity. This can help the individual align with their environment and thrive on their own terms. Genetics of Environmental Sensitivity and its Association with Mental Health and Wellbeing Dr. Elham Assary from King’s College London gave the third presentation. Her research delved into how high sensitivity relates to mental well-being. She then explored whether genetic or environmental factors correlate with greater depression, anxiety, and autistic traits in Highly Sensitive People. The study measured subjective well-being using questionnaires and self-reports to create a comprehensive picture of personal well-being. It found that more highly sensitive individuals reported feeling less hopeful, less optimistic, and less happy (subjective well-being). There no significant difference in curiosity, gratitude, ambition, and grit (psychological well-being). This suggests that while HSPs may experience psychological well-being, they might still FEEL dissatisfied or unhappy with their life. A Link Between Aesthetic Sensitivity and Psychological Wellbeing The results highlighted a curious link between high aesthetic sensitivity and increased psychological well-being. Aesthetic sensitivity refers to the ability to perceive and appreciate beauty through the senses, such as being deeply moved by art, music, nature, flavours, and scents. We might connect the dots with the previous research and question whether our relationship with art and beauty can help build resilience and mitigate the adverse effects of sensitivity. It would be fascinating to explore if and how we might be able to deepen our aesthetic sensitivity to increase psychological well-being. The twin study also revealed that sensitivity and mental health outcomes are primarily influenced by shared genetic factors rather than environmental ones. This means that the same genetic traits leading to high sensitivity also predispose individuals to depression, anxiety, and autistic traits. However, despite a correlation, nothing indicates a causal relationship. Dr. Assary suggested that a better understanding of the genetic basis of sensitivity could help identify predispositions to anxiety, depression, and autistic traits, enabling more targeted interventions. We might also consider what underpins our subjective judgement of well-being (feeling less happy, satisfied, hopeful, etc) and whether that is a story that we can shift in time. Sensitivity and Overstimulation I think there was then a short break in the presentations at this point. But it must have been brief because the next session had already begun when I returned from the toilet ordering more bananas. We then had three five-minute flash talks. The first was delivered by Dr Sofie Weyn, who looked at HSP overstimulation and how it fluctuates during the day and across different contexts. The diary study got participants to gauge and record levels of overstimulation, environment, moods, fatigue, and pleasantness of stimuli in the environment (sounds, sights, smells, tastes, touches) throughout the day. Sofie found that overstimulation fluctuated throughout the day for everyone regardless of sensitivity, with the highest levels between 5 and 6 p.m. Overstimulation decreased later in the evening. There was an increase across the board in public spaces, especially when other people, negative moods, and fatigue were reported. Overstimulation also increased with reports of unpleasant sounds, lights, smells, tastes, and touches. Overstimulation was significantly higher for highly sensitive individuals when their fatigue level rose. However, overstimulation decreased when they reported higher levels of pleasant sounds, visual stimuli, and positive moods. This shift was much more prevalent for more sensitive than less sensitive individuals, consistent with the theory that HSPs are more significantly impacted by positive and negative environmental stimuli. These findings reinforce the need for awareness of variations in overstimulation and to work WITH those fluctuations rather than fighting against them. Focusing on rest and sleep quality can mitigate fatigue, increasing pleasant auditory and visual stimuli through music and ambient lighting in environments we can control and noise-cancelling headphones, dampened lighting, or tinted glasses in conditions we can’t change. Attentional Capture and Sensitivity Robert Marhenke from the University of Innsbruck gave the second flash talk about Attentional Capture and Sensitivity. He introduced the concept of selective attention, which has been assumed to be lower in highly sensitive people. Why? Because, as we know, highly sensitive people process information more deeply, are more aware of subtle stimuli, are more easily overwhelmed and distracted by extraneous stimuli, and have a lower ability to filter out irrelevant information. He explored this through two theories of attentional capture: the Bottom-Up Theory, where our attention is drawn to a stimulus based on its properties (e.g., bright colours or distinctive characteristics), and the Top-Down Theory, where our attention is directed by preconceived intentions, goals, or knowledge (e.g., something we know we want to find). The study found that individuals high in SPS were not more easily distracted by striking elements in the Bottom-Up experiment. Results from the Top-Down experiment found that highly sensitive individuals were less biased by their own intentions and goals, so they were, in fact, better at ignoring distractions, even if they were similar to what they were looking for. It might be surprising that HSPs are not more easily distracted by environmental stimuli. However, this aligns with the study Elaine and Art Aron highlighted, showing that cultural influences on perception impact sensitive individuals. So, even though HSPs are more affected by their environment, this doesn’t inhibit their ability to process and perceive it with a greater sense of objective discernment. Interesting! Effects of Sensitivity and Childhood Family Conflict on Objective Stress Responding Sophia Bibb then delivered her inaugural research talk as a first-year PhD student at Ohio State University. She shared her research into the Effects of Sensitivity and Childhood Family Conflict on Objective Stress Responding. Despite mixed results in recent studies, this was based on the previous assumption that stress affects highly sensitive people more than less sensitive individuals. Sophia looked at the effect of different stress types on sensitive individuals. Predictable threats elicit a fear response (a time-locked reaction to a tangible stressor), and unpredictable threats cause anxiety (an anticipatory state of chronic arousal). The research examined the relationship between SPS, childhood family conflict, and objective stress response. It found a correlation between high family conflict in childhood and increased reactivity to unpredictable threats later in life. However, it showed no relationship between SPS and reactivity to unpredictable threats for those who didn’t experience family conflict growing up. This suggests that SPS alone doesn’t equate to greater anxiety. Interestingly, individuals low in SPS who experienced family conflict showed lower reactivity to unpredictable threats than those who hadn’t. Sophia concluded from this research that HSPs are not inherently more biologically reactive to stress. Also, HSPs may experience greater sensitisation to childhood stress, particularly to sustained, unpredictable stressors. This is consistent with the Diathesis-Stress Component, which indicates that greater reactivity in a sensitive individual is contingent on early sensitisation events like high family conflict. Understanding the interaction between SPS and biological stress reactivity can inform approaches to psychopathology and interventions for HSPs. Measurements of Sensitivity The three-hour conference concluded with a panel discussion about measuring sensitivity. I’ll admit, by this point in the live event, my brain was frazzled, and I couldn’t process anything. I was beyond the banana, so I was grateful to have a recording to go back and watch later. The panel explored the strengths and limitations of how sensitivity is currently observed, measured, and applied in research and practice. Elaine Aron reiterated the centrality of depth of processing to high sensitivity and how challenging it can be to observe and measure. Veronique de Gucht pointed out that very few people would choose to answer a question in a way that sounds like they have no depth. In such a case, respondents are likelier to answer questions based on what is socially desirable rather than true. The Negative Effects of High Sensitivity Elaine laments the negative flavour of the original HSP Scale, which was developed through exploratory processes rather than being built on the foundations of an initial theory with well-established definitions. If she could go back and start again with the initial scale, she would emphasise the depth of processing more and focus less on overstimulation. But I would love her to cut herself some slack because she seemed pretty hard on herself about the whole thing. They did what they could with what they had at the time, and sensory processing sensitivity was a completely new, unexplored field to uncover and discover. This is how these things start and evolve. Imperfectly and in ways we later regret with the benefit of hindsight! The six new scales provide a richer and more detailed understanding of different elements of sensitivity. They are emotional and physiological reactivity, sensory sensitivity, sensory comfort, sensory discomfort, social-affective sensitivity, and aesthetic sensitivity. These scales provide greater potential flexibility to future research and are already being integrated into collaborations with other fields of study unrelated to high sensitivity. The panel also discussed the need for specialised training to understand the functional diagnosis of sensory processing sensitivity. In other words, we need to move away from what I heard described as “differential diagnosis,” which I believe means categorising high sensitivity as dysfunction (comparable to normative functioning) rather than a core biological function of an individual. This requires knowledge and acceptance of the core sensitivity traits in humans. No Cut Offs OK, I think we are there. So, let’s finish where we started and return to those three words, “no cut-offs” (I’m still not talking about denim shorts). While many individuals, as well as teachers and parents, might seek definitive answers (is this child HSP or not?), it’s not possible or even desirable to treat sensitivity in this way. Environmental factors complicate it, and careful consideration is needed regarding the potential harm an individual might face if the HSP label is labelled and used about them. I felt heartened by this conference, especially after watching it back (several times) and starting to grasp what was being communicated. I hope we might see an increasing flow of discoveries related to sensory processing sensitivity across disciplines, fields, and backgrounds. There are many elements I would love to explore, so I look forward to finding out where the research goes next. I still get most excited when highly sensitive people see themselves reflected in descriptions of the trait so they can begin the journey of growth in self-understanding, acceptance, and awareness and explore who they’ve always been in light of their sensitivity, not in opposition to it. Watch The Video of My “Summary” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkGsvdA3htw&

Can Artificial Intelligence help us embrace, explore, and celebrate our human creativity and sensory sensitivity even MORE deeply? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Marc Winn about the impact of generative AI on our creative spirit. We step beyond the unhelpful binary debates that tend to view the complex tangle of technology adoption as all good or all bad. We begin with the most important starting question: What do we want to use it for? And how can it help us become more human, more playful, more attuned to our senses, and less mechanical and robotic? How Can Artificial Intelligence Help Us Become More Human? Marc has dedicated the past 14 years to helping people find their way in a rapidly changing world. He focuses on AI and how embracing it isn’t just about technology—it’s about people. Through AI Adoption groups, Strategy Days, and long-term Partnerships, he focuses on the human side of digital transformation. Marc is also the author of The 50 Coffee Adventure: A Fun, Light and Easy Way to Build Connections—One Magical Conversation at a Time. In the episode, Marc and I Discuss: The role generative AI can play in giving people who have always struggled simple ways to express themselves Why art is deeply misunderstood (and often overlooked) in its role in changing the world How art has a role to play in helping us meet the significant challenges of our time The link between burning out and building things in other peoples’ image rather than your own (and what it means to live from that authentic place within us) Why Marc believes you have more of a chance of changing someone’s life by making mistakes rather than delivering perfection Fears and hopes about the post-consumption age of creativity and how mass participation will become a new normal How AI supports and can enhance creativity (rather than replace it) I enjoyed this conversation a lot. It gave me a fresh perspective on things I hadn’t considered before. Marc’s Links Book a Coffee with Marc Moving Fast Together – The Human Side of AI Adoption (Marc’s Presentation) 45 Minutes of Marc’s Life That Got Out of Hand Marc’s Website | Marc’s Blog Watch The Conversation https://youtu.be/TjGD4kWjGbw

If you’re a freelancer or solo practitioner, you likely need to wear many different hats to keep your business going. It can be tiring and confusing at times. An understandable trend in the age of algorithmic social media is people donning the social media marketing hat more and more, sometimes at the expense of their core craft. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I chat with my friend, Adam Kawalec. He explains what he means when he says he’s a coach, not a marketer or social media influencer. He describes how he’s intentionally built his business through word-of-mouth referrals and relationship marketing. In our conversation, Adam demonstrated what happens when we shift our focus from persuasion, traffic, and engagement to depth, connection, and potency. The invitation to find more meaningful, gentle, and person-centred ways of building a sustainable business left me feeling hopeful and enriched. This goes against the growing trend where the drive for social media influence trumps professional training and development. This is why I wanted to speak with Adam about the ethicality of coaching and how to remain focused as a coach not a marketer. Ethics For Coaches and Marketers It’s a companion to the episode with Megan Malone when we considered the cost of reputation damage to coaching as a trained skillset due to a series of documentaries and exposés highlighting nefarious, manipulative, and abusive practices performed by people calling themselves coaches. It often happens when the focus on developing skills as a coach is gradually eroded and replaced by marketing and sales. During our discussion, Adam mentioned the Ethics For Coaching project. It’s a crucial initiative to educate consumers and support coaches in practising their craft with integrity, safety, inclusivity, and professionalism. This project’s four pillars serve as a guide, highlighting red flags to watch out for and expectations you can have with a safe and competent coach. Much of it speaks to the question of whether someone is a competent coach or simply a persuasive marketer. I also spoke with Margarit Davtian, a board member of EFC and a consumer rights expert, who sheds light on the project’s mission and her role in it. In the episode, Adam and I explore: Why marketing doesn’t have to feel like marketing when you approach it in the right way Ways coaching differs depending on the setting (and the stakeholders) The difference between traffic marketing vs relationship marketing Ethical responsibilities when marketing and practising as a coach The importance of slowing down if you want to speed things up What it means to be truly remarkable, and how to be so good they can’t ignore you Finding the sweet spot in your daily rhythm to commit to growing without burning out Connect with Adam Website: https://adamkawalec.com/ Inside The Comfort Zone Podcast Watch The Conversation https://youtu.be/JpViYWqPN7w?si=4KcI4tj8PjFq_jcS

The podcast delves into the impact of money on relationships and individuals, highlighting how wealth can trigger possessiveness and control. It explores the complexities of giving, human dignity, and unconditional assistance. The story of 'Reward to Finder' serves as a cautionary tale about the negative effects of money on artistic expression and personal values.

Adam Grant explores how our practice can lead to boreout in Hidden Potential. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I dive into this idea and reflect on the role of playfulness in maintaining our motivation with the things that matter most. We consider the distinctions between burnout and boreout and delve into the contrast between obsession and passion. I ask how the demands and pace of hustle culture might lead to chronic boredom. We look at why we need not stress about discovering our purpose and passion despite the societal messages we are bombarded with. “It is neither work nor play, purpose nor purposelessness that satisfies us. It is the dance between.” – Bernard de Koven Boreout is the emotional deadening you feel when you’re under-stimulated to the point of disconnection. But it might also occur when we are chronically overstimulated and unable to pause between life’s ceaseless bombardment of noise. Practice and Boreout Boreout is a phenomenon that often arises when we lose our sense of purposeful connection and intrinsic joy with the task at hand. When it comes to practice, it can turn into an obsessive slog rather than a meaningful journey towards progress and growth. Deliberate play isn’t about avoiding work. It’s about shifting our mentality and seeing how potential can be reached sustainably by finding ways to playfully engage in practice, learning, and growth. “You’re not supposed to enjoy it; it’s piano practice!” We fall into a trap with certain endeavours. We believe that practice ought to feel like a slog. This leads us to stories of forbidden fun. Some things are meant to feel like punishment. However, Adam Grant refers to a study conducted on renowned concert pianists, which revealed most of them practised the piano for just an hour a day during their early years, and they weren’t raised by controlling and dominating drill sergeants. Their passion ignited, and their parents and teachers gave them the conditions to maintain their motivation and enthusiasm. They practised, not because they had to, but because they were interested. They enjoyed working with teachers to explore the craft more; excited, engaged and wanted to learn, improve, and practice. When we treat it as something we’ve just got to repeat and repeat, practice can lead to boreout. It can also extinguish passion and cause us to resent things that used to be exciting and joyful. In the episode, I also explore: Harmonious passion vs obsessive passion and which is more useful How my drum teachers used deliberate play to keep me on track with my exams Why a lack of creative coaching led me to quit a football team Similarities between burnout and boreout How it can be more relaxing to create than to do nothing Why overstimulation can leave us bored and disconnected The way algorithms overstimulate our senses with sameness – and how variety and difference are sources of energy and inspiration Collective boreout through cultural drift How uncertainty gives rise to creativity, passion, and play (and the danger of trying to avoid it) And more…

Humour is a VERY important sense. Without it, we risk taking ourselves so seriously that we lose all perspective. Our sense of humour is a core part of gentleness (firm back, soft front) because it allows us to move through the world with greater flexibility and openness. We all have this sense! But it takes practice to remain humourously sensitised to the world around, within, and between us. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share a Haven Courtyard conversation I had towards the end of 2023 with Roxana Alexandru and Neil Hughes. We explored how we might use humour to befriend anxiety and the inner critic in helpful and healthy ways. Rox helps people figure out ways to play with and change their relationship with debilitating social anxiety. She shares her experiments through Instagram and TikTok. Neil wrote the book Walking on Custard & the Meaning of Life: A Guide for Anxious Humans. It contains an inspiring ongoing meta dialogue with his inner critic throughout. Check out Neil’s website and watch his TEDx Talk (A new plan for anxious feelings: escape the custard!) I love how both Rox and Neil relate to the voice of their inner critics. So, I thought it would be fun to have them both on the same call…and I was right; it was! In our conversation, they explained why they felt drawn to use humour to engage with their inner critic and what they’ve learned. We Discuss Humour, Anxiety, Inner Critics, and… How can we work on our relationship with the inner critic in light-hearted ways? When is it better to be amused than anxious? Experimental ideas to take control over the process so that the fear doesn’t gain power over you. How Neil’s goal was to reach a point where he no longer needed to think/talk about anxiety. We explore how engaging with inner work as a temporary process (perhaps even obsession) can lead you to a light on the other side. The link between custard and anxiety and how seeing it through this metaphor can help identify and reach more solid and desirable ground. Situations and environments where social anxiety increases (and how to prepare/recover to avoid feedback loops) The simple power of being interested (rather than worrying about being interesting) The derailing fear of being misunderstood. Why we can never be prepared enough for every potential eventuality and how Neil engages with that truth in creatively humorous ways How scripting can help give a set of mental tools to draw on and use during times when we most need it Creating deliberate awkward moments helps the brain lean into discomfort on our terms. Why are our post-situational inner narratives often worse than the situations themselves – and how do we choose more favourable (and evidenced) narratives to believe? The sound of our inner critic (is it a voice? A narrative? Or a flavour?) How to relate to impostor feelings (or impostor syndrome) in a helpful and humourous way The stories we tell ourselves about appearances and how judgements by those around us about those around us can become internalised How do we gauge and measure progress with anxiety and the inner critic? And how do we recognise ways we have grown and are growing? Watch The Courtyard Replay Protected Content Are you a Haven member? Login to access this content. Not yet a member? Register here.

Exploring the misconceptions and controversies surrounding life coaching, the podcast delves into ethical standards, regulatory measures, and the need for industry regulation. Guest Megan Malone sheds light on the importance of professional accreditation and steering clear of harmful coaching practices. The discussion emphasizes the value of transparency, accountability, and ethical marketing in coaching, aiming to elevate the industry's reputation and integrity.

After experiencing challenges with panic attacks, Aaron Espe figured out how to build a career that works for him. Aaron is currently a full-time songwriter based in Nashville Tennessee. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I chat with Aaron about songwriting, creativity, and adapting to creative adversity. I first heard his music in 2012 when I was presenting the music podcast, Lost on Radio. Aaron was our artist of the week with his track, Hanging By a Thread. I felt an instant connection to his sound and have been keeping a close ear on his work ever since. His book, On Songwriting: Practical Tips and Insights from a Decade in Music City will be an important part of my reference library from now on. It’s a fantastic guide for anyone creating things to help rekindle focus, clarity, and a sense of possibility. In our conversation, Aaron Espe and I discuss: The importance of being adaptable and flexible in a creative career (and being unable to co-write songs led Aaron to write a book) What inspired him to carve his own path rather than taking the conventional songwriting routes he was “supposed” to follow The GPS Method and The Painting Method for writing songs (and which we naturally gravitate to) Where inspiration comes from and processes for writing when it’s not there The power of co-writing as a way to grow your skills and network And much more… https://youtu.be/bUoUh5MIPNw