Setting Boundaries When You Want to Do it All (with Leah Burkhart)

In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I sit down with returning guest and friend of the show, Leah Burkhart, founder of The Healthy Sensitive, to discuss a challenge many highly sensitive people face: defining boundaries when you’re genuinely excited about everything. This might be especially true for the multipotentialites among us, who have many creative projects and interests in life.

It’s not about saying no to things we don’t want to do—it’s about creating space to understand the energy beneath the excitement.

The Excitement Paradox: “Death by Opportunity”

Leah and I explored the notion of “death by opportunity“—a burnout that stems not from external demands but from an abundance of internal excitement and possibility.

It’s the paradox of having no external limits on particular aspects of life: “The good news is, nothing is stopping us. The bad news is, nothing is stopping us.”

Highly sensitive people often feel driven by curiosity, connecting dots and imagining what’s possible. However, this expansive way of engaging with the world can become unsustainable when we lack filters to process invitations, opportunities, and excitations.

Boundaries as a Conversation, Not a Wall

When we hear “boundaries,” we might think of barriers preventing access. But what if boundaries were framed as an invitation to listen to what is happening beneath the surface?

A helpful perspective distinguishes between “not now” and “not yet.” Some ideas need more time to incubate (“not yet”), while others aren’t priorities during this season (“not now”). Boundaries are not prohibitions; they bring openness and space to slow down, pause, and let enthusiasm flow without rushing into action.

Tools for Sustainable Engagement

There are practical ways to define boundaries as the space between the urge to act and the decision to commit:

• Journaling: Use writing as a space to explore ideas without prematurely committing to them.
• Community Support: Surround yourself with people who can hold space for your ideas without pushing you to act on them immediately.
• Faith in the Pause: Urgency is often a red flag. If something still excites you after a day or two, it might be worth exploring. The Minimalists have their 30/30 rule: “If it costs more than $30, wait 30 hours before deciding.” This works well for all kinds of things – immediate excitement might settle down after time. Even if the idea still compels us, we can start seeing it through a more realistic lens that fits our capacity and ability in the current season.
• Testing Ideas Gently: Engage with possibilities without turning them into sacred proposals. For instance, dedicate time to dream and explore wild ideas, then step back and recommit to what’s already on your plate.

What Does a “Hell Yes!” Feel Like?

One of the central questions of our conversation was: How do we sustainably maintain authentic excitement?

We talked about recognising the signs of overcommitment and embracing a slower, steadier form of enthusiasm. Instead of chasing every “Hell yes!” moment, we can look for the slow burn of “mmm yeah”—a quieter, more sustainable motivation that doesn’t depend on perfect conditions to thrive. This notion of “Hell yes!” might look and feel very different to a highly sensitive person.

A great way to consider this is whether or not “hell yes!” comes from a particular state in our nervous system. Would need to feel excited and enthusiastic to take action in the future? This is usually a sign of a project being unsustainable.

Creativity, Community, and Boundaries

Another key theme was the importance of trusted people and processes for sharing and developing ideas. We considered how prematurely sharing an idea with the wrong audience can lead to defensiveness or even shutting it down altogether. This weak back, defensive front, is the opposite of the gentleness (firm back, soft front) required to stand our ground and stay strong in the face of unwanted judgement and criticism. Instead, we might seek people who understand our vision and values so they can provide constructive support without pressuring us to act immediately.

The Boundaries of Success – How Do YOU Measure It?

For highly sensitive people, it’s essential to define and understand our personal measures of success: What truly matters to you? Would you still pursue this if external rewards didn’t come? What do you do despite the threats associated with success (increased expectation, judgement, pressure to repeat, etc)?

Authenticity shines when we create from a place of intrinsic motivation. If we let external pressures, like algorithms or audience expectations, dictate our path, we risk losing connection to the heart of things.

Slowing Down to Speed Up

This conversation was a powerful reminder that slowing down and creating intentional space isn’t about doing less; it’s about doing what matters most. Boundaries, as a conversation with ourselves, allow us to understand our energy, desires, and what’s truly sustainable. This approach enables us to explore the world’s possibilities without burning out.

Links

Connect with Leah: https://thehealthysensitive.com/

Watch The Video Version on YouTube