Connection Codes
Connection Codes
We often find ourselves stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and frustration. We don't know how to convey how we feel OR we burst out and create even more pain. Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill have spent years researching human connection and how to break that cycle. The Connection Codes is the guide to helping couples conquer conflict and it is the tool to break the cycle of pain and live in peace together.
Hosted by Tera Wages of the I Get It podcast.
For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/
Hosted by Tera Wages of the I Get It podcast.
For free resources to a better marriage go to https://www.connectioncodes.co/
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jul 29, 2025 • 50min
Living and Loving with Neurodivergence (176)
Phyllis and Dr. Glenn Hill sit down with Elijah Runyan, Director of Certified Coaching for Connection Codes, to dive deep into the world of neurodivergence and emotional connection. Both Elijah and Dr. Glenn share personal stories of what it’s like to live with unique emotional wiring—where everyday experiences, like dishes left undone or mismatched hangers, can trigger intense pain experiences. Through candid reflections, they reveal how shame and loneliness can take hold when these experiences go unseen or misunderstood, and how learning to process pain instead of judging it opens the door to authentic connection. This episode highlights how the Connection Codes framework—centered on regard, curiosity, and emotional awareness—has transformed their relationships, helping them move from miscommunication to genuine closeness with their families and partners.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuConnect with Elijah here: https://www.runyanstronghealth.com/Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening Up: Why This Conversation Matters00:00:56 - What Neurodivergence Really Feels Like00:04:22 - When “Different” Becomes a Daily Struggle00:07:41 - From Shame to Identity: The Pain Behind Control00:12:14 - Why Being Seen Is More Powerful Than Being Helped00:21:15 - Raising Kids While Feeling Misunderstood00:22:22 - Making Room for Everyday Pain00:22:33 - Teaching Compassion Through Lived Experience00:25:10 - Travel, Triggers, and When Systems Break00:26:57 - Navigating Marriage with a Neurodivergent Lens00:29:13 - How We Learn to Speak Each Other’s Language00:30:19 - The Great Hanger Debate (Yes, Really)00:32:37 - Celebrating the Things That Set Us Apart00:35:10 - Final Thoughts on Connection, Curiosity, and Courage
Jul 22, 2025 • 46min
What Your Emotions Are Trying to Tell You (175)
Tera, Phyllis, and Dr. Glenn dive into the deeply human instinct to stay hidden—especially when emotions like shame, sadness, or anger begin to rise. Whether it's saying “I’m fine” when we’re not, or disconnecting to avoid discomfort, the episode unpacks how hiding becomes a form of emotional protection that ultimately costs us connection. Drawing from personal stories and the Connection Codes framework, the hosts reveal how early life messages taught us to suppress emotion rather than engage with it—and how staying hidden, even from ourselves, creates internal dissonance. Through honest reflection and practical tools, they guide listeners toward emotional safety and deeper intimacy by asking the core question: “What’s firing in me right now?” If you've ever shut down, avoided vulnerability, or longed to feel more seen in your relationships, this episode offers a compassionate and powerful path back to connection.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuChapters: 00:00:00 – When You Say “I’m Fine”… But You’re Not00:00:38 – Caught Hiding in the Pantry00:01:38 – The Emotional Weight of Disappearing00:02:34 – Wellness, Vulnerability, and Hidden Triggers00:05:55 – What Hiding Really Does to the Heart00:08:35 – The Silent Disconnect in Relationships00:11:26 – Why Hiding Becomes a Habit00:15:02 – What Happens When You Finally Speak It00:24:25 – The Emotion Wheel That Changed Everything00:25:20 – Saying the Thing You've Never Said00:27:33 – You Deserve to Be Seen00:30:48 – Finding Your Safe People00:33:04 – When Judgment Shuts Us Down00:38:11 – Using the Core Emotion Wheel in Real Life00:43:47 – Wrapping Up: Your Next Step Toward Connection
Jul 15, 2025 • 42min
Are We Traumatizing Our Kids to Sit Still? (173)
In this powerful episode of the Connection Codes podcast, Tera and Phyllis sit down with trauma-informed coach Echo Hill Vetter to break open what happens when we let go of punishment and choose connection over consequence. Together, they unpack why punishing our kids “into good behavior” often fails — and how to replace control with curiosity, repair, and true partnership. Echo shares how dance and movement are medicine for kids’ big feelings and how parenting leadership really means supporting our kids from beneath, not controlling them from above. If you’ve ever wondered, “If I don’t punish, what do I do instead?” — this honest conversation shows the way forward.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuChapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome + Why This Conversation Matters00:00:38 - Echo’s Raw and Real Parenting Story00:01:10 - When Parenting Feels Like Constant Friction00:01:24 - What It Means to Parent Through Trauma00:03:21 - Why Culture Taught Us to Punish00:05:04 - Dance, Movement & Emotional Survival00:08:28 - The Truth About Traditional Parenting Struggles00:09:22 - Choosing Connection Over Consequence00:18:13 - Leadership Reimagined: Parenting from Beneath00:21:40 - How Our Kids Mirror Us (Literally)00:22:10 - What to Do When Kids “Act Out”00:23:01 - Regulating Ourselves Before Reacting00:23:25 - Is Talking Back Actually a Good Sign?00:24:20 - Seeing the Need Behind the Behavior00:27:27 - Real-Life Tools for Collaborative Parenting00:28:57 - When Your Kid Is Wild (And Wonderful)00:34:51 - Curiosity and Compassion: The Game Changers00:36:13 - Echo’s Parting Encouragement to All Parents
Jul 8, 2025 • 55min
(Replay)Adding depth to your relationship & working with your partner, not against them...(71)
If you are in a happy, loving relationship where you feel safe but have moments that suddenly your partner feels like the enemy... Ooooo... you aren't alone. It is easy to feel like they are the ones in the "wrong." Today, we talk about reframing our thoughts and having deep conversations to experience new depth and peace in your relationship.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuChapters:00:00:00 - Emotional Struggles And Communication Breakdowns00:03:52 - Dr. Glenn & Phyllis: Dedication To Helping Others00:07:40 - Importance Of Deep Connections In Relationships00:18:34 - Power Of Vulnerability In Relationships00:22:48 - Partnering Against The Cyclone: Unity And Protection00:27:55 - Building Deep Connections Through Connection Codes00:31:16 - Effects Of Physical Pain On Behavior And Parenting00:42:31 - Three Steps To Connect And Communicate00:46:02 - Power Of Consistency In Improving Relationships00:50:45 - Emotional And Physical Pain: Loneliness, Guilt, And Fear
Jul 1, 2025 • 44min
How Connection Beats Guilt Every Time with JoAnn Crohn (172)
When did motherhood start to mean sacrificing your whole self? In this honest episode, No Guilt Mom founder JoAnn Crohn joins Tera to unmask the hidden expectations that keep moms overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of guilt. JoAnn shares how a single permission slip — and a head of cabbage — helped her break free from the “selfless mom” myth, reclaim her identity, and build a thriving community where moms stop doing everything alone. If you’re ready to rewrite the good mom story and trade guilt for real connection, this episode is your sign to start now.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuWebsite: noguiltmom.com JoAnn on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanncrohn/Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening Thoughts & Gentle Disclaimer00:00:38 - Meet JoAnn: The Voice Behind No Guilt Mom00:02:49 - From “No Kids Ever” to Motherhood00:04:25 - Surviving Postpartum: The Turning Point00:06:58 - Why Moms Need Real Self-Care00:12:29 - Journaling: A Safe Space for Truth00:19:11 - Smashing the “Good Mom” Expectations00:22:43 - How Moms Cope (and Why It Changes)00:23:12 - Choosing Sobriety: What It Reveals00:23:40 - Why We All Need Community00:24:15 - Can AI Help Us Connect Better?00:26:05 - The Social Skills We’re All Relearning00:28:17 - Building Real Friendships (Not Just Playdates)00:30:30 - JoAnn’s HAPPY Framework in Action00:35:15 - Using the Core Emotion Wheel at Home00:41:03 - Final Takeaways & Resources You’ll Love
Jun 24, 2025 • 55min
Healing Isn’t Just in Your Head (171)
In this powerful episode, coach Echo Hill Vetter invites us into the often-ignored conversation between our minds and our bodies. With deep vulnerability and insight, Echo shares her transformative journey of realizing that trauma isn’t always dramatic—it’s often stored in the quiet, unmet needs of the body. From the radical idea of going to the bathroom when you need to, to learning how to “feel your feelings” physically, she offers a compassionate, body-first approach to emotional healing. This episode challenges the cultural narrative of self-abandonment and gives listeners practical tools to rebuild trust with themselves—one sensation at a time.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuChapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome + Why This Matters00:00:38 - Trauma Isn’t Just in Your Head00:01:57 - What Sent Echo Searching for Answers00:02:55 - The Moment Everything Shifted00:06:36 - Learning to Trust the Body Again00:09:48 - How to Actually Listen to Your Body00:12:26 - What Happens When You Meet Your Needs00:15:12 - Echo Gets Real About Her Past00:29:24 - When Your Body Is Screaming and You Still Ignore It00:30:23 - Emotions Are Physical—Here’s Proof00:32:09 - Small Changes That Change Everything00:33:43 - Mental Health Starts in the Body00:34:46 - Healing Ourselves to Heal Society00:36:25 - “Feel Your Feelings” — What That Actually Looks Like00:46:05 - The Tool That Changed How I See Emotions00:46:46 - Echo’s Honest Moment With Guilt + Shame00:52:47 - Final Thoughts + Where to Go Next
Jun 17, 2025 • 43min
Learning to Move Before It All Makes Sense(170)
Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill welcome back Chris Cruz—Managing Director at Harbor + Union- for a powerful conversation on leadership, action, and emotional clarity. With refreshing vulnerability, Chris shares how the phrase “clarity is found in motion” transformed his approach to decision-making, leadership, and connection. Listeners will hear how fear often paralyzes us into waiting, but motion—taking a first step—can lead to surprising clarity. Tying this into the Connection Codes framework, Chris explains how emotional insight comes not from planning but from engaging—especially in conversation. This is a must-listen for anyone navigating fear, change, or relational stuckness and looking for practical tools to move forward with authenticity.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuLinkedIn – Chris Cruz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjosephcruz/Chris’s Instagram : @chriscruzThe Practice of Being with Jesus: https://tinyurl.com/4zzddd89Chapters: 00:00:00 - A Warm Welcome + Why This Conversation Matters00:00:38 - Meet Chris Cruz: Storyteller, Pastor, Creative Voice00:00:55 - When Desire Isn’t Enough—Why Action Changes Everything00:01:36 - Life Lately: Chris Reflects on the Journey00:02:54 - “Clarity is Found in Motion”—The Quote That Sparked It All00:09:52 - Sitting with Fear, Moving Anyway00:14:19 - Processing in Real Time: What Happens When We Don’t Have it All Figured Out00:22:34 - Why Imperfection Might Be the Key to Starting00:23:09 - When Learning Becomes a Hiding Place—And How to Step Out00:25:12 - What Therapy Taught Me About Growth and Patience00:25:54 - Getting Honest About What’s Really Underneath: Fear, Shame, Guilt00:33:29 - Motion Brings Clarity: Why We Can’t Stay Still00:36:37 - Behind the Mic: Chris Shares His Podcast Journey00:39:33 - A Quiet Nudge Forward: Encouragement to Move Gently
Jun 11, 2025 • 39min
You Can’t Heal If You Keep Hiding (169)
In this powerful episode, certified Connection Codes coach Bridgett Blood shares her raw and transformative journey through 12 weeks of deep emotional work that redefined her understanding of peace, connection, and faith. Joined by Phyllis, Dr. Glenn, and Tera, she unpacks the shift from peacekeeping to peacemaking—revealing how naming harm, confronting emotional pain, and embracing core emotions like anger and sadness led to true restoration. Most profoundly, Bridgett reimagines her relationship with God—not as someone who rushes to fix, but as a presence who grieves with her. If you’ve ever longed for honest healing and a deeper spiritual connection, this episode offers both reflection and renewal.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuChapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome Back: Kicking Off a Deeply Personal Conversation00:00:17 - When Peace Demands More Than Quiet00:01:51 - Bridgett’s Journey Through Trauma and Truth00:03:21 - The Risk and Courage of Naming the Pain00:04:53 - What Real Peace in Relationships Actually Looks Like00:07:23 - Texts, Therapy, and Truth-Telling: Taking Brave Steps00:18:14 - When God Doesn’t Fix It—He Sits With You00:21:30 - Choosing Wholeness in the Middle of Family Tension00:21:59 - A Love That Stays: God’s Presence Without Conditions00:22:50 - Rethinking Miracles: It Doesn’t Always Look Like Rescue00:23:56 - How Owning Your Part Opens the Door to Healing00:24:33 - Partnering with God, Not Waiting for Magic00:25:42 - What Happens When You're Emotionally Honest with God00:30:04 - Feeling It All: Using the Core Motion Wheel00:37:24 - The Hard Work Is Worth It: Final Reflections
Jun 3, 2025 • 58min
What Happens When You Start Showing Up for Yourself with Bridgett Blood(168)
In this heartfelt episode, certified Connection Codes coach Bridgett Blood joins Tera and Phyllis for an honest and moving conversation about what it means to connect with yourself first. After facing the collapse of a romantic relationship that had initially introduced her to Connection Codes, Bridgett found herself alone—and yet, divinely invited—to use these emotional tools to begin healing from the inside out. She shares how journaling her core emotions, honoring the signals from her body, and staying present through the pain helped her rebuild a sense of wholeness and self-worth. This episode is a powerful reminder that the journey to connection with others must begin with ourselves—and that even in our darkest seasons, we can learn to stay.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mAFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menuChapters: 00:00:00 - Let’s Begin: A Gentle Disclaimer00:00:39 - Welcome to the Space Where Connection Matters00:01:32 - Meet Bridget: A Journey of Heart and Healing00:03:03 - From Breakup to Breakthrough: Bridget’s Path to Wholeness00:03:55 - Her Daily Practice: Wheels, Words, and Staying Present00:07:02 - Emotional Honesty: The Real Work of Being Human00:11:20 - When Phyllis Needed the Tools Too00:18:06 - How to Stay True to Yourself in Love00:24:02 - Listening to Your Body When It’s Screaming Softly00:30:48 - Pain Isn’t the End—It’s the Invitation00:31:16 - One Massage, a Lifetime of Emotions00:32:20 - The Weight We Carry When We Don’t Process00:34:01 - What Our Bodies Remember from Generations Past00:35:02 - The Science (and Soul) Behind the Body’s Memory00:38:16 - Bridget’s Road Back to Self-Care00:40:07 - Loving Yourself While Loving Someone Else00:42:27 - The Courage Men Need to Feel00:45:42 - What Healing Sounds Like for All of Us00:49:04 - You’re Allowed to Ask for Help00:55:19 - A Soft Landing: Final Thoughts & Tools for You
May 27, 2025 • 47min
Naming This Emotion Could Save Your Relationship(167)
In this deeply personal and eye-opening episode, Tera shares the emotional weight of discovering a lump and choosing silence over fear—until it became too loud to ignore. Phyllis opens up about years of stored anger and the physical damage it caused before she began the journey of emotional release. Alongside Dr. Glenn, they explore how unprocessed emotions don’t disappear—they go deeper, affecting not just relationships, but our health and sense of self. Through honest storytelling and the powerful tool of the Core Emotion Wheel, this conversation invites listeners to stop stuffing, start feeling, and gently uproot what’s been buried for far too long. It’s not about fixing everything overnight—it’s about finally starting.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://www.connectioncodes.co/cew-podcastFind out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/all-coachesChapters:00:00:00 - Before We Begin: A Gentle Disclaimer00:00:39 - Welcome to Connection Codes: Let’s Get Real00:01:32 - Tera’s Story: When Fear Took Over00:02:27 - What Happens When We Avoid Emotion00:03:10 - How Emotions Take Root in Us00:05:05 - Phyllis on Anger: The Emotion She Never Spoke00:07:04 - Why Feeling Is Healing00:08:09 - The Brain-Body Link You Didn’t Know About00:17:16 - Learning to Actually Connect With Yourself00:26:52 - The Paint Job Metaphor That Says It All00:27:18 - When Gratitude Becomes a Mask00:28:03 - Getting Honest About Gratitude00:28:49 - Why Downtime Is Not Optional00:30:12 - Success Means Nothing Without This00:31:33 - Using the Core Emotion Wheel to Process Life00:33:19 - Real-Life Ways to Apply the Wheel00:39:37 - How One Tool Is Changing the World00:40:19 - Making Emotional Check-Ins Part of Everyday Life00:45:13 - Your Invitation to Try the Core Emotion Wheel
