Connection Codes

Tera sits down with Vanessa Marin, licensed sex therapist and CEO of Vanessa Marin Sex Therapy, to explore how our early messages around sex shape our adult relationships—and how we can reclaim joy, freedom, and connection in the bedroom. Vanessa shares her personal journey of unlearning shame, learning how to speak up for her needs, and rewriting her sexual story. From navigating body confidence to overcoming a sex-negative upbringing, this conversation is a powerful reminder that healing is possible—and your pleasure matters. Whether you're struggling with desire, communication, or emotional intimacy, Vanessa’s insights will leave you encouraged, empowered, and equipped.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠Find a coach: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches⁠⁠Vanessa Marin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/?hl=enWebsite: https://vmtherapy.com/Chapters:00:00:00 – A Warm Welcome + A Quick Note on Therapy00:00:50 – Meet Vanessa Marin: Sex Therapist, Real Talker, Freedom Fighter00:01:39 – Growing Up Silent: How Shame Shaped Our Sexual Narratives00:04:32 – From Shame to Liberation: Vanessa’s Personal Turning Point00:06:11 – The Call to Sex Therapy: Where Curiosity Meets Calling00:11:01 – Kids, Chaos & Connection: Keeping Intimacy Alive in Parenthood00:17:21 – Desire Decoded: What Your Libido Might Be Telling You00:23:02 – Let’s Talk Initiation: Who Starts, Why It Matters00:29:42 – Spicing It Up: Creating a More Playful Sexual Menu00:30:09 – What Actually Works for You? Redefining Sexual Connection00:31:13 – Vanessa’s Go-To Tools & Practices for Better Sex00:32:58 – Sex Positions: Myths, Pressure & What to Let Go Of00:33:26 – Fresh Energy: How to Stay Curious in Long-Term Love00:36:16 – Permission to Laugh: Why Playfulness Belongs in the Bedroom00:42:38 – Too Busy for Sex? Why Prioritizing It Changes Everything00:46:55 – It’s More Than Just the Act: The Deeper Value of Sex00:47:52 – Orgasm Isn’t the Goal: Navigating Challenges Without Shame00:50:38 – Where Emotional Safety Meets Sexual Connection

Tera and Wes Wages get vulnerable about what truly makes — and breaks — connection over time. In this heartfelt and revealing conversation, they explore the hidden challenges of long-term love, from battling insecurity and body image fears to maintaining consistency through the daily chaos of life. They also candidly share insights on emotional validation, how minor daily efforts like scheduled texts can transform a relationship, and why talking openly about sex — even without pressure — can reignite intimacy. With real-life stories, expert emotional tools, and a viral 8-million-view surprise moment, this episode is an honest look into the beautiful, messy, and rewarding journey of authentic connection.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠Find a coach: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches⁠Chapters:00:00:00 - 17 Years In: What Marriage Really Looks Like Behind the Scenes00:01:01 - How Wes Became Instagram’s Favorite Husband (And the Viral Moment)00:03:03 - Why Feeling Truly Seen Changes Everything in Relationships00:03:59 - The Small Acts of Validation That Keep Love Alive00:10:04 - Facing Insecurities Head-On: Real Talk About Marriage Fears00:11:50 - Building Unshakable Trust by Processing Core Emotions00:20:38 - Why Consistency, Not Grand Gestures, Sustains Long-Term Love00:21:20 - Juggling Dreams, Kids, and Marriage: Finding the Balance00:24:07 - The Daily Connection Habit That Makes or Breaks Relationships00:27:45 - How Scheduling Texts Can Actually Save Your Relationship00:28:54 - Power Tools for Deeper, Faster Emotional Connection00:30:03 - How Connection Codes Revolutionized Our Marriage00:35:05 - Getting Real About Sex, Pressure, and Intimacy After 17 Years00:40:45 - Final Takeaways: Hope, Growth, and Staying Connected Through It All

Do you ever lay in bed exhausted, but your mind won’t turn off? This episode breaks down why it’s not your to-do list that’s draining you—it’s unprocessed emotion. Hosts Tera, Phyllis, and Dr. Glenn explore the physiological and psychological toll of unacknowledged fear, anxiety, and emotional overload in today’s high-stress world. From Sunday scaries and doom-scrolling to navigating news-induced stress and personal loss, they reveal how naming your feelings and using the Core Emotion Wheel can bring your nervous system back into balance. With neuroscience, vulnerability, and practical insight, this conversation offers a roadmap to emotional regulation, deeper connection, and truly restorative rest.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠Find a coach: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/all-coachesChapters:00:00:00 – A Sleepless Mind & The Chaos Within00:01:04 – Welcome to the Place Where Emotions Finally Make Sense00:01:44 – Fear Isn’t the Problem—It’s the Key00:03:02 – What Science Says About What You're Feeling00:04:28 – Can Fear Really Wreck Your Sleep? Yes—Here’s How00:07:21 – Cortisol: The Tiny Hormone Running Your Life00:12:26 – Are You Being Emotionally Hijacked by Your Phone?00:16:38 – What Happens When You Choose Peace Over Noise00:21:31 – Human Connection: Your Brain’s Favorite Medicine00:31:51 – When Caring Becomes Crushing: Walking the Advocacy Tightrope00:38:55 – Speak the Fear, Set Yourself Free00:39:25 – Safe People: Your Emotional Safety Net00:39:56 – Is That Fear Even Real? Let’s Talk About It00:40:57 – This Simple Tool Could Change the Way You Communicate Forever00:42:50 – Real Fear, Real Stories, Real Healing00:44:19 – The 8 Words That Can Set You Emotionally Free00:50:38 – Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings—Here’s Why It Matters00:52:56 – The Wheel Isn’t Just a Tool—It’s a Game-Changer01:00:37 – You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck

In this week’s episode, Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis dive deep into the power of hurt—specifically, how we respond when our partner is hurt by something we’ve done. If you’ve ever deflected, avoided a tough conversation, or struggled with shame and guilt in your relationship, this episode is for you. Learn practical tools to process hurt, communicate with compassion, and move forward with authentic connection.Download the Core Emotion Wheel: https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cewFind out how to become a Certified Coach:https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coachingFind a coach: https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches

What if the story you’ve been telling yourself… isn’t even yours? In this deeply validating and insight-rich episode of the Connection Codes podcast, Tera Wages joins Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to explore how childhood messages, cultural labels, and relationship dynamics shape—and often limit—our identity. Through personal stories, including leaving church, navigating marriage intimacy, and feeling misunderstood by family, the hosts unpack what it means to "wear a hat" that no longer fits.Listeners will be challenged to ask: Who put this label on me? Why am I still wearing it? With raw emotional depth and practical wisdom, the episode empowers you to identify the inner “judge,” rewire internal narratives, and intentionally reclaim who you want to become.Links and Resources:Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 ⁠⁠⁠Connection Codes: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠________________________________________________________________Chapters:00:00:00 – Identity Isn’t Just a Concept—It’s Personal00:02:26 – When You Realize You’ve Been Wearing the Wrong Hat00:05:53 – Do I Even Matter… to Me?00:09:23 – The Labels We Live By (And How to Let Them Go)00:13:26 – How External Voices Shape Internal Battles00:25:56 – Old Messages, New Awareness: What Are You Still Carrying?00:27:19 – Step Into the Judge’s Chamber—You Might Be Surprised Who’s Inside00:28:14 – The Dishwasher Story: It Was Never About the Dishes00:29:28 – Tearing Off the Labels That Keep Us Small00:32:46 – Speak Life: The Words That Shape Who You Become00:42:00 – Feel It to Heal It: A Real Look at the Core Emotion Wheel

Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis explore one of the most foundational elements of human connection: identity. What does it mean to give identity—or to take it away? Through tender personal stories and real-life encounters, they unpack how kindness, often seen as a simple virtue, carries the power to either affirm or strip away someone’s sense of significance. Phyllis introduces the concept of the "identity meter"—a powerful internal gauge that shifts based on whether we're seen, valued, and understood. From social media judgments to a heartfelt moment with a grieving artist, the episode beautifully illustrates how much we long to matter—and how our everyday interactions either feed or deplete that longing. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Do I matter to them?”, this conversation will resonate deeply.Links and Resources:Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 ⁠⁠Connection Codes: https://connectioncodes.co/⁠⁠(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠________________________________________________________________Chapters:00:00:00 - What If Identity Could Heal the World?00:01:22 - Is Kindness Actually the Key?00:02:21 - Social Media: Boosting or Breaking Your Identity Meter?00:03:24 - She Left Him… and He Finally Knows Why00:04:37 - The Hidden Definition of Identity in Love00:07:10 - Tiny Acts, Massive Emotional Impact00:08:48 - The Domino Effect of a Single Kind Word00:16:36 - When Faith and Identity Collide00:27:25 - One Greeting. One Shift. One Human Seen.00:28:15 - The Power of Being Noticed—Really Noticed00:29:34 - “Do You Even Know Me Anymore?”00:30:31 - Rebuilding Intimacy, One Small Gesture at a Time00:31:41 - What Happens When We Truly See Someone00:33:05 - Unspoken Needs That Quietly Destroy Connection00:34:58 - From Global Conflict to Family Feuds: It’s All Identity00:36:30 - When Human Connection Becomes a Superpower00:43:48 - The Cost of Feeling Invisible00:43:57 - One Tool to Help You Understand What’s Firing Inside00:50:00 - You’re Not Broken—You Just Need to Be Seen00:53:25 - Your Challenge: Give Identity Today

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill unpack a recent “miss” in their relationship—one that reflects a broader season of emotional exhaustion, grief, and life transition. From losing Glenn’s mother to living a nomadic life out of a suitcase, the Hills open up about the cumulative weariness they’ve been carrying. Phyllis courageously names the fear of “forever missing each other” and the exhaustion that sometimes keeps her from even wanting to analyze the disconnection. This episode is not about offering quick fixes—it’s a raw, heartfelt look at what it means to live through heavy seasons and still choose connection. Whether you’re in burnout, walking through grief, or feeling stuck in cycles of disconnection, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone, and there’s hope in the wide lens.Links and Resources:Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 ⁠To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠________________________________________________________________Chapters:00:00:00 – We’re Not Okay (and That’s Okay)00:01:20 – When Life Just Keeps Coming at You00:04:16 – Tiny Misses, Big Emotional Impact00:06:39 – I Felt It, But I Didn’t Know Why00:13:17 – The Moment We Completely Missed Each Other00:26:16 – From Laughing… to “What Just Happened?”00:26:43 – Unpacking the Emotional Whiplash00:27:18 – Are You Seeing Me As the Enemy?00:28:21 – You Thought I Was Mad… I Wasn’t00:30:21 – Slowing Down Before the Disconnect00:33:06 – Reconnection Starts with Brave Vulnerability00:36:08 – How the Emotion Wheel Saved the Moment00:43:48 - Encouragement for Listeners

So many of us live as stunt doubles, showing up in spaces—church, work, even our own homes—feeling like we have to perform instead of just be. In this episode, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis unpack the weight of that, the exhaustion it brings, and how Connection Codes gives us the tools to step out of the act and into real, life-giving connection. They share stories from their recent event in Austin, the impact of this work around the world, and the freedom that comes when we stop masking and start living fully as ourselves.Links and Resources:Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min?month=2025-03 To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-onlineBook a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.connectioncodes.co/marriage-help(If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠________________________________________________________________Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome! Are You Living a Stunt Double Life?00:01:29 - Behind the Scenes: What We Learned in Austin00:03:04 - Real Stories, Real Change: Connection Codes in Action00:07:37 - Why Hiding Hurts & How to Show Up Fully00:12:34 - Stunt Doubling at Work, Church & Home—Are You Doing It?00:25:01 - Feeling Drained? The Link Between Emotions & Productivity00:28:30 - Burnout is Real—Here’s How to Spot It & Stop It00:30:22 - Loneliness Creeping In? How to Find Genuine Support00:32:10 - What’s in Your Emotional Backpack? Time to Unpack It!00:33:38 - Want Deeper Connection? Here’s How to Create Safe Spaces00:40:02 - The Core Emotion Wheel: Your Secret to Stronger Relationships00:48:03 - Final Thoughts: Ditch the Act & Start Living Fully

Marriage is full of seasons—some where you’re both thriving, some where you’re both struggling, and the hardest ones, where one of you is drowning while the other is doing just fine. In this episode, Tera, Echo, and Phyllis get real about what it looks like to stay connected when your partner is in a tough place, how codependency sneaks in without us realizing it, and why we were never meant to carry everything for each other. They unpack the guilt, the resentment, and the loneliness that can show up in these seasons, and share the tools that helped them stop fixing, start seeing, and actually enjoy their marriage again.Links and Resources:Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠⁠⁠ Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠⁠⁠ (If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠_________________________________________________________________Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠⁠⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠⁠⁠  Echo on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠⁠ Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠⁠ Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetterChapters:00:00:00 – The Part of Marriage No One Prepares You For00:01:06 – Saying the Wrong Name, Every Time00:02:04 – When Life Drains You and Your Spouse Doesn’t Get It00:03:40 – The Worst Thing You Can Do When Your Partner is Struggling00:07:03 – How We Accidentally Made Marriage Impossible00:11:50 – Your Spouse is Not Your Village00:24:18 – Codependency Feels Like Love—Until It’s Not00:28:27 – The Silent Ways We Sabotage Ourselves00:29:06 – The Cost of Ignoring Your Own Body00:31:29 – The Difference Between Asking and Expecting00:33:50 – Speak Now or Resent Later00:35:42 – The Secret to Processing Without Over-Talking00:38:34 – Breaking the Patterns That Keep You Stuck00:49:15 – You Weren’t Meant to Do This Alone00:52:12 – It’s Time to Stop Pretending Everything’s Fine

In this episode, Tera Wages sits down with Phyllis Hill and Echo Hill Vedder to talk about a game-changing concept: desire vs. capacity—the difference between what we want to do and what we actually have the bandwidth for. They discuss how ignoring our capacity leads to burnout, why so many of us push through exhaustion, and how tuning into our bodies can be the key to reclaiming energy and joy. Echo shares how she learned to listen to her body instead of the judge in her head, and Phyllis gets real about hitting empty after years of over-functioning. They explore many ways to grow capacity, shift limiting beliefs, and make space for what truly matters—without guilt or shame. Plus, they break down how emotional processing through Connection Codes helps expand capacity and disrupts the pain cycle not just for ourselves, but for our entire community. If you’re feeling exhausted, stuck, or constantly running on fumes, this episode is a must-listen!Links and Resources:Book a discovery call for Overwhelm Overhaul: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://calendly.com/tera-wages/30min⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/wheel⁠⁠ To enroll in Foundations use the code PODCAST for 20% off: ⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-course-online⁠⁠⁠ Book a coaching session with Dr. Glenn: ⁠https://connectioncodes.co/marriage-help⁠⁠ (If links are not working, please copy and paste connectioncodes.co to your search bar and look through our site menu!)⁠⁠_________________________________________________________________Connect with Echo Hill Vetter:Echo Hill Vetter’s Substack | Letters from Nashville: ⁠⁠https://substack.com/@echohillvetter⁠⁠  Echo on Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠ Schedule 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching with Echo: ⁠⁠https://calendly.com/echohillvetter⁠⁠ Echo’s LinkTree: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/echohillvetter⁠ Chapters00:00:00 - The Tug-of-War Between Wanting and Doing00:04:10 - A Room Full of Connection Code Coaches00:05:11 - When Your To-Do List Laughs at You00:08:48 - Burnout Doesn’t Knock—It Kicks the Door Down00:11:58 - Your Body is Keeping Score (And It’s Not Looking Good)00:16:33 - Why Some Days You Can Handle It, and Some Days You Can’t00:22:48 - The Science of Saying No (And Actually Meaning It)00:26:57 - The Invisible Cost of Always Saying Yes00:31:37 - The Brain vs. The Body: Who Wins?00:32:34 - When Life Demands More Than You Can Give00:34:38 - SOS: Finding Help Before You Collapse00:36:36 - Systems That Save You From Yourself00:42:56 - Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury—It’s Survival00:48:07 - Why Emotional Processing is the Secret to More Energy00:54:33 - Final Thoughts From Three People Who’ve Been There