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Beat Your Genes Podcast

Latest episodes

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Sep 29, 2022 • 55min

290: Need to understand, How BYG started, Childless, Bad Childhood & depression

In today's show, the dr's discuss: How does evolutionary psychology approach the complex human need to understand how/why/when about the workings of the universe   hello! i am just curious how this podcast came into being and the aim behind it, as it appears to be an extremely altruistic dissipation of scientifically accurate advice and help. highly grateful for it. thankyou! greetings! i am 23 years old, from a pretty conservative nation and feel i have missed out on many life experiences thus do not want a kid as i want the rest of my life completely for myself and for the pursuit of other achievements. today's seemingly increasingly apocalyptic world (due to climate change and resource shortage) further kills the desire to bring forth a child. i feel its the poorly lived childhood and early adult experiences that prevent me from wanting a kid. would it be possible to understand the psychology behind it with respect to the fact that childhood experiences don't shape our desires? why do some women not want kids? Does having bad childhood experiences cause depression? Who’s philosophers view of the world do you agree with the most? What does Dr.Lisle think of the view of ancient Greek atomists? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Sep 1, 2022 • 51min

289: Ideal exercise, Resentment, Frustrated with dating, Getting better tips

What is the ideal level of exercise for one's health? Five years ago, I was diagnosed with severe OCD. After two years of painstaking efforts, I successfully got off SSRI and recovered without the help of therapy sessions. During the height of OCD, my wife treated me with contempt, frustration, anger, hostility and total lack of compassion and patience. She justified that in the past - when were were still a new couple - that I was harsh, critical and rude towards her. How can I get over my resentments? I feel like I am losing my mind in the dating world. I feel like men don’t want to lift a finger for a relationship. Much less to even meet a girl and get laid.  I’m on a dating site and get multiple likes or matches a day. I talk to guys over the app and they quickly give up. I talk to some longer term, meet up and it’s like they don’t want to put much effort into getting together. I think that at least 70% of it has to do with my kid and that takes some work and maneuvering. And no one seems willing to do it! It’s like fast food dating or what?! I feel like I am over qualified for most these men, will settle for less, and I don’t hardly get a “what’s up babe”. It’s extremely frustrating and disappointing and makes me second guess myself every minute. I wish I could send you pictures of myself and pictures of these men I’d settle for and almost have to chase for their attention. I must be either uncalibrated or something has gone majorly wrong in the dating world. I will be graduating from cosmetology school next month. As a professional hair stylist, tips will make up a significant part of my income. I am curious about the psychology of tipping. Is there anything that I can do to increase my chances of receiving a generous tip from my clients? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Aug 18, 2022 • 45min

288: Anti-depressant news, Ruined by dating a hot guy, Finding a dream job

In today's show, the Dr's discuss new evidence about anti-depressant treament and then discuss the following questions:  I think I have messed up my dopamine reward system and I don't know how to fix it or if I want to. I am early 40's, single and have been in many relationships. I don't have trouble attracting men. I think if I just decided it was time then I would settle for one but to me it is boring and mundane and I only feel excited by unpredictable, magnetic dynamics with men. For the last couple of years I've had an online FWB who lives overseas. He has a bit of a high profile and so the reward I felt from attracting him and engaging with him long term has been really high. Now that I attracted someone so unattainable I can't get excited about anyone else. I didn't used to be like this. I had plenty of loser bfs in the past. Wtf is wrong with me? And if I don't fix it, will I end up alone and be a miserable old person? My partner’s parents are in their early 70s and still love what they do, jumping out of bed to start work each day as they did 40 years ago. Both work in creative fields.  It’s not clear if they found the perfect careers, or if they would take the same excitable, have-at-it attitude to any path they had followed.  Are people who find their dream job genetically predisposed to do so? Is it in their own personalities to work with such passion and positivity or does everyone have that potential, if the right job comes along?
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Aug 18, 2022 • 47min

287: Dr. Howk on Current Events

In today's show, Dr. Jen Howk discusses some current events.  Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Jul 21, 2022 • 50min

286: Pair bond must-haves, Spirituality & EvoPsych, Creating an alter ego

In today's show, the doctor's discuss:  If your relationship status is single, would you only look to someone with your diet lifestyle as someone you'd only be interested in dating and possible pair bond? Can spirituality fit into evolutionary psychology? My question is about creating an alter ego - Apparently sports people do it and David Goggins did it. David Goggins was a flake and overweight and had no prospects and by his own admission was a liar. Then he basically turned his life around and became a Navy seal and said he did it by inventing an Alter ego called Goggins. So does this suggest personality can be changed. I know current theory is it is largely inherited. He also said an important part of his transformation was the accountability mirror. You basically look in the mirror every day and be completely honest about who and what you are and then from there you can change what you don’t like about yourself. Any merit in this? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Jul 7, 2022 • 1h 1min

285: Roe v Wade, Body Positivity in Women, Blank Slate model appeal

In today's show, the dr's discuss: Current events re: Roe v Wade There is so much about “body positivity” on the media and women growing their body hair out especially. On social media I read mainly positive comments on this, but especially from women, while some men are making rather jokey comments. I was just wondering what might be the motivation for women who keep saying stuff like “good on her”, “if only I was braver, I’d do the same”, etc…?? Like they’re all claiming that removal of body hair is forced on us by recent culture. Is it though? I personally as a women hate my body hair and have removed it since before puberty. To me it actually feels "natural" to remove it. So I wonder if there is any perspective on this specific topic from the evolutionary psychology perspective? What is your erudite opinion on why the ‘blank slate’ model seem to particularly appeal to certain "character types" more than others. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Jun 16, 2022 • 56min

284: Dropout daughter, Autism, Social connections, Rethinking 10 paid dates?

In today's show, the drs discuss I am worried about my daughter. She graduated with a perfect gpa while also modeling. After her degree, she moved to pursue modelling but she soon developed an eating disorder and quit.  Subsequently, she attended medical school but dropped out due to an illness caused by stress. She moved back home but she doesn’t want to work or go back to school. In fact, she barely leaves the house. Whenever I try to talk to her about it, she starts crying and we never get anywhere. I hate to see her waste her life like this. Please help, I don’t know what to do to help. Any thoughts on autism or Asperger’s, particularly in women? I am a 35 year-old woman who has struggled in life in very specific ways. I’m trying to figure out if my issues are related to being on the spectrum or if they are simply a result of the combination of my big 5. I find friendships draining, and the cost of friendships are not worth the payback. My concern is that there is pressure to make and maintain social connections, for example Dr. Dean Ornish believes social connections are one key to reversing disease. My concern is this pressure could cause unnecessary anxiety for some people, who become anxious trying to keep connections, when they could be just as happy without them.  I’m trying to follow your 10 paid dates strategy, but men just don’t pay anymore! Isn’t this a slightly archaic expectation or do I need to lower my standards? I’m 40 and would very much like to find the right man and have a kid while I still can. I’m athletic, a solid 9 physically, of high intelligence, relatively successful and highly agreeable. I’ve been on dating apps for over a year and been on countless dates. The only man who paid for our date knew about the 10 paid dates strategy and was honest enough to tell me he’s only interested in casual mating. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Jun 9, 2022 • 54min

283: Attachment styles, Confidence, Impostor Syndrome

In today's show, the Dr's discuss: 1. Are attachment styles just the last trend in psychodynamic nonsense? Or is there some legitimacy to it? 2. I wanted to get your perspectives on the trait of confidence. Do you view confidence as a combination of Big5 traits? Is there such a thing as internal confidence or is it all driven by market feedback with respect to mates, friends, and trading partners? I'm particularly interested in understanding if there are ways to help children feel more confident.  3. Please can you help me with 'Imposter Syndrome'? I was recently offered, seemingly out of the blue, a stellar opportunity to work at the highest tier of my industry that I am yet to complete training in. I am HC, HA, HN, above av intelligence. After weeks of stress & emotional turmoil, not to mention hard work, I pulled off a great presentation and have been flooded with esteem & positive feedback & people wanting to work with me. Not soley because of the presentation, but my name must be getting 'out there' in my field. I am in a permanent state of bewilderment & anxiety. I cannot seem to internalise, accept as true and enjoy my 'success.' I feel like a fraud and that my new clients are overestimating me and will be disappointed. Please help, these feelings are crippling and are inhibiting me moving forward. NB This is my third career and I have not experienced anything like this before.
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May 26, 2022 • 50min

282: Do women avoid direct help? Career confusion, Sister needs bone marrow

In today's episode, Dr. Lisle goes over:  What would be the stone age benefit for women to seek only compassion and not direct help or solutions? I grew up in a household with parents who successfully left their home countries and “made it” as engineers in the US. I grew up with the expectation that I would follow their trajectory - I completed a bachelors, a masters, and was always “en-route” to medical school. Post-graduate school though, things started to look a little differently for me. I lost academic steam and I fell into mystical, artsy land. Recently, I feel like I woke up from a pity-party slumber. I am getting back on the path to medical school. The problem? I am torn. I find myself battling 3 different lives: a life of sacrifice to others through usage of my scientific aptitude, a life of being a jester and using my charm to brighten people’s lives, and a life of solitude in pursuit of philosophical truths. So what do I do? Why have I been torn in this position for the past 3 years since graduate school? Am I stuck in black-or-white thinking and can do all three, or have I subconsciously ran a cost-benefit analysis and have determined certain routes aren’t worth it? My sister is in need of bone marrow. As her only sibling, I would be ideal for this and have a 25% chance of matching. But this comes with serious risks for the donor. Unlike my sister, I take good care of myself, eating a whole foods diet. I am not on any medication and avoid taking even aspirins. Also unlike my sister, I am vehemently opposed to taking the vaccine. However, my doctor says that I will likely be forced to take it if I want to be her donor. I could postpone a decision and simply find out if I'm a match, but if I am, I will feel compelled to continue going down this road, a road I'm not sure I want to go down. How do I make this decision? Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus
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Apr 28, 2022 • 50min

280: Lazy husband, Painful sex, Bf might wander, High T & agreeable?

In today's show, the doctors discuss:   I have been married for 8 years to a man who is a federal government employee. He is very responsible and reliable. Now, since the pandemic, he has been working from home 4-5x/week. I have notice how lazy he is. I workout, eat clean, do the cooking and all the cleaning. I find myself getting so irritated when I am with him. He is overweight and growing. He literally sits watching TV or reading articles on the computer and eating crap during working hours. I do not understand why my habits are not more influential.  My question is, how can in manage my feelings of frustrations and irritability. I border lack of respect and even attraction to him, am I being too dramatic. I am in a relationship for about 4 years now.  I am an agreeable introvert she is disagreeable introvert.. we both like spending time together and doing things, but our sex life is not great, she has some medical reasons and penetration is painful.. and this is something that comes up every now and then, she confessed previous relationships ended because of this, i can feel it most times she is not enjoying having sex, but she puts up with it.  My question is, is such dynamic possible, can a relationship survive long term, my sex drive is quite high, i'm 30, she is 28.. i feel like we should make it work but dont know what are the odds of this, i find myself reaching out different outlets to express my needs. How can I tell if my boyfriend is in love with/is really interested in his 'female friend'? How often would you say intuition is right in these situations?  Is it possible to be an agreeable highly testosteronized male?   What would such a male look like?  This confuses me bc I often think of highly testosteronized as a dominance climbing, aggressiveans & competitive and so am wondering how these traits co-exist. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Host: Nathan Gershfeld                               Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D. Podcast website:  www.BeatYourGenes.org True to Life seminars with Dr. Lisle and Dr. Howk : www.TrueToLife.us   Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus

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