Art Creativity & Wellbeing

Navigating social situations has only gotten worse in the pandemic – but it sure wasn't always easy, even before! Today's guests, Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of the Modern Manners for Moms and Dads Podcast, have spent years helping parents navigate social minefields. With a book coming out in the fall and an awesome quiz that you can take right now (I did!), These two friends, educators, and parents have lots to contribute in helping us get along and raise our kids in these crazy times. Listen to this episode to learn: – how to navigate the toughest situations you might encounter – how to understand your own approach to parenting – how to shift that approach, if it's not working as well as it could for you and your family A few announcements 1. I share in this week's preshow segment how frustrating I'm feeling, as a child-development expert, hearing from so many parents whose children are not doing well in the current educational climate. I've got 3 ways to help if this is you! Join my FREE Pandemic Back-to-School Challenge – enroll at the link below by Wednesday, July 22, 2020: weturnedoutokay.com/pandemicchallenge Try the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), our online virtual coaching practice, where parents are getting much needed help navigating the start to this crazy school year. Right now you can try the Community for just $1 for your whole first month! Click the following link for details and to join NPC: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC A new publication I'm creating, the WTOO Playbook! The August 2020 issue is jampacked with help and hope as you navigate the beginning of this crazy school year. Join my newsletter group to find out more about the WTOO Playbook: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly 2. We're in the middle of a 10-week (free) newsletter series on how I'm overcoming my own burnout and overwhelm. The most recent newsletter was all about how much better I felt coming from a place of kindness, rather than judgment. Click here to read that newsletter and to sign up for future ones! 3. I've been invited to be part of the Mommy Matters Virtual Summit, the brainchild of next week's WTOO guest, parent Coach, mindfulness expert, and yoga instructor Mariela Ortiz! The Summit starts in early August, and you can sign up for it by going to: Mommymatterssummit.com Links Evie, Sarah, and I discuss are in the show notes, located at weturnedoutokay.com/340 Enjoy the show! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

If the return to preschool/childcare/school is on your mind – and I know it is, because I've spoken with lots of you over the last few weeks – this FREE Pandemic Back-to-School Challenge will help you: – Take on your biggest concerns about the upcoming year – Manage your children's behavior, and your own emotions, so you're ready for the upcoming changes – Learn the 3 Keys to Success for starting this year off right, even amidst all the uncertainty You can do this, and I'm excited to help! The challenge runs for four days from Thursday, July 23-Sunday, July 26. Each day I'm sharing a video with participants as well as inviting questions and success stories… Also participants get to be present for the Live Challenge Wrap up on Sunday! And I'm doing something I've never done before in a challenge, handing out MVP awards! I know we can start this year off on a positive note, regardless of whatever else is happening. Prove to yourself that you can do it – join our challenge! Click the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/pandemicchallenge Challenge starts Thursday, July 23. See you then! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

I am excited to bring Shannon Connery, PhD, onto the show today, because she's got lots of great ideas to help you keep going! (Click here for Shannon's website, where you'll find her podcast, her blog, and a wonderful free guide that she offers to help people overcome the challenges that we all have in our lives : ) Shannon is a therapist living in Colorado, and in our conversation today you'll hear her story of losing nearly everything – and coming back stronger from that experience. Shannon is also a podcaster, and her Fix Yourself is one of my favorites – she helps us all know what to do when we encounter difficult events and struggles in our lives. Shannon shares so much about herself, and her feelings, and what she's tried that works to keep going and to help her family members and patients thrive. Today we talk about: – The role of empathy and positivity in helping you keep going – Steps we are taking (and that you can also take) to dismantle racism – What Shannon is doing to help those that she works with through the pandemic Join us! Video of our conversations – as well as lots of key links from this conversation – are available at weturnedoutokay.com/339 A couple notes from the preshow segment: – Registration is now open for the private coaching practice for parents that I run (the Ninja Parenting Community), so you can join now if you need the extra help from a child development expert, and the support of a wonderful online community! weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC – All throughout July I'm offering free live trainings, and even a free challenge! Get notified of these at the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today we're answering your GREAT questions! – "[My young daughter] is going through a phase of not wanting clothes on. Do I just not battle it? What's appropriate at 4? How do I instill the importance of being careful without taking away her sweet innocence? Or am I totally overthinking this?" – "This week's hot topic is sharing and temper around that. The minute [my three-year-old's] little brother walks in the room (even if he hasn't messed with her stuff yet) she goes right to screaming at him and throwing stuff… I'm struggling with getting her to react in a bit calmer way. "Understandably, she is having a lot of trouble letting other kids play with any of her toys. I get it, we haven't had to share in a long time. I'm just wondering if there are some good strategies or advice for starting back at square one was sharing, and also talking nicely to others even when angry." – "My four-year-old was playing with her toys saying "this one is dead, it's in the dead place" (inside the toy garage) then when I needed a shower "Mummy you need to go to the shower and be dead"… How can I talk about death at an appropriate level for children?" – "They don't stop fighting with each other – they push each other's buttons just for "the fun of it." (I said they were great questions : ) If You're Struggling to Keep Going During this summer I'm using my newsletter to share about my own journey, trying to find peace and stop feeling so guilty while working, running our household, and keeping going sustainably. Last week I shared about my first step (stopping "obsessively checking" on the Internet, and (as I share in this episode) it's going well! But I know I've got a long way to go… If you want to come along on this journey with me, I'm sharing about it in my newsletters. Click the link below to get them automagically delivered to your inbox! Weturnedoutokay.com weekly Tons of links today! You'll find them - as well as a cheat sheet of answers to these questions - at weturnedoutokay.com/338 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

As a child development expert, I want to help you keep going in our new reality! This conversation, recorded during March 2020 (in other words at the very beginning of the pandemic here in the US), I know will be super helpful for that. I am excited to bring you my conversation with the author of one of my favorite parenting books (it's called Happy Campers) – Audrey Monke of sunshine-parenting.com is today's OkayCon 2020 guest! Audrey shares: - How to stay positive, even while everyone is cooped up together – Some great family-focused activities you can do to make your stuck at home time more enjoyable – What lessons Audrey, her family, and counselors and campers (who attend the summer camp Audrey owns and runs) are learning from this time Learn how to keep going: In my (free) Weekly Parenting Newsletters I am taking you on my journey of recovering from burnout, exhaustion, and huge feelings of guilt. I am working to feel at peace with myself – to keep going, raising my kids, keeping our household running, and feeling happy inside – and if you want some tools to help you accomplish those miracles, click this link! Weturnedoutokay.com/weekly NPC Summer Camp registration ENDS Wednesday 7/1 One way parents have been feeling way better, recovering from exhaustion, handling their kids' fears, clinginess, and potty training issues: the Ninja Parenting Community. Get access to everything in the community and enjoy a summer camp program created just for you, if you are looking for connection and positivity in our new reality! I am closing registration to NPC on Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM EST – enroll today, and take that first step toward being able to feel at peace with yourself and (sustainably) keep going! Here is the link, jump in while there is still time: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC (go to weturnedoutokay.com/337 for notes to this episode) We will get through this together! Cheers - Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"Would you have any recommendations for books or anything that might help with learning the best ways to integrate an older adopted child into a family, or good books on adoption and advice?" "How to divide my attention between my 1 YO and my 4 YO… I try to give exclusive mummy daughter time but it's never enough." These are the first two questions in our Q&A series… I hope they are helpful! A Summer Camp program for you Towards the end of the episode I mention NPC Summer Camp, a new program I'm offering to help parents of young children not just get through, but live IN, summer 2020. Opening Ceremonies are this coming Friday! Spend your whole first month in my online coaching practice for parents (NPC) for FREE – exclusively for podcast listeners and folks in my email group – by clicking here (offer ends Wednesday, June 24, so enroll today!) Then you'll be all set for summer camp! We'll have lots of fun, keeping each other company and taking control of our family's direction in this, a summer like no other. Camp activities are aimed at helping you enjoy family time even in this year's difficult circumstances. Join now, spend your whole first month in NPC for free. I can't wait to see you in our community forums! For the adoption and sibling jealousy links that come up today, click the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/336 And hang in there. We will get through this together! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

I am super excited to bring you this conversation with Jennifer Louden, whose extremely helpful books (including the one we dive into today, Why Bother?), have sold nearly a million copies! Jennifer has been featured in hundreds of podcasts, magazines, and TV and radio shows – even appearing on Oprah. In today's conversation you will learn: – How to really give a hoot about your life again – Why it's crucial to LIVE in tough times, instead of just trying to live through them – Appropriate discipline for when your child gets into mischief (specifically writing on walls with magic marker, but what we discuss applies to whenever a kid gets into trouble) Go to jenniferlouden.com for answers to this question, posed there: "How do you bother after heartbreak, after creative and career defeats, after loss, after sidelining your dreams to pay off the debt, raise kids, or take care of aging parents?" But first, listen to our conversation! Need something positive in your life this summer? I'm excited to share a new program I'm offering: we are having summer camp in the Ninja Parenting Community! In addition to the courses, challenges, and other great stuff to keep you sane while raising your little kids, NPC Summer Camp includes: – Weekly camp activities that help you be a better parent, like making a vision board, or a "house rules" sign, or a treasure hunt to take kiddos on, or a "no occasion needed" fun family surprise – Supportive and fun Members-Only Campfire Nights – The sense of belonging to a community of people who get it, and who are along on this parenting journey with you NPC Summer Camp dates: Friday, June 26-Friday, August 7, 2020. Enroll now to enjoy family life this summer! Exclusively for podcast listeners and folks signed up for my weekly newsletters, click here to get your whole first month for free! (Offer ends Wednesday, June 24, and NPC Summer Camp begins Friday, June 26, so jump in now!) Can't wait to see you at summer camp! Click here to see this post in your browser : ) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"It's as if we are going through the 1918 flu pandemic AND the Great Depression AND the Civil Rights era, all at once." That's what James Arthur said on his podcast, Minority Korner, in (and about) Spring 2020. I think he's right. To get through it all we are going to have to work together! That's the spirit in which I bring you this episode. In this conversation on racial justice between my friend Shane Sams, and his friend Talaat McNeely, Talaat shares that we each must "Make change within our sphere of influence." Well, my sphere of influence is in teaching parents like you how to get your family going in the direction you want. Today I link that idea up with getting this nation going in the direction we want: one in which everyone is treated fairly, and where parents don't have to worry about their children being harassed, assaulted, or murdered because of how they look. I hope this episode, all about raising anti-racist kids, will help you make these crucial changes within your sphere of influence. FYI: Free live training course on raising good, kind kids – This week I'm doing not one but two live trainings, teaching on how a parent can change a child's bad behavior to good… and one common mistake that well-meaning parents often make when trying to raise good, kind kids. (In other words, something that ups the bad behavior, when they're trying to reduce it. It's not a mistake you want to make.) Click weturnedoutokay.com/kind to sign up for the live trainings, this coming Thursday, June 11 and Sunday, June 14! Because of my white privilege, I have been able to insulate myself. I've been able to not see some important truths that have been right in front of me. I have remained ignorant, when I should have been seeking education. This week one of my friends, a white man from Kentucky, had an amazing conversation with one of his friends, a Black man from Chicago. Talaat McNeely and Shane Sams spoke for an hour and 45 minutes, and I was astounded and ashamed at the stories Talaat told. Things that have personally happened to him and his kids, just because of the color of their skin. I was: – astounded by the differences in our experiences, Talaat's and mine, which only came about because he happens to be Black, and I happen to be white. No one should ever, EVER be treated the way Talaat and his family have been treated. – ashamed because I let it happen. The simple fact that it is happening means that I have not done enough to stop it. Talaat shares five key steps that we can take to stop racism. (I don't remember to bring up the first and most important one until we're almost at the very end of today's episode, so all along you'll hear me talk about four key steps… But that first one is most important. Talaat brings it up right at the beginning of his conversation with Shane. It's something you hear me talk about on the show again and again, and I still can't believe it took me until the last part of this episode to talk about it in connection with stopping racism.) There are about a million links today, so for those and a description of the five key steps we can take to stop racism – to raise anti-racist kids – click the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/334. We need each other now, more than ever. If you are reading this and you're a person who (as the Black Panthers used to say) is Black or oppressed, you have my empathy, and my pledge to become educated instead of remaining ignorant about what has happened to you, and the part I have played in your troubles. If you're a person of privilege, I hope that like me, you're open to moving forward on the path from ignorance, to education. And from there to support. We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

(FYI: about 10 or so minutes in, I use the word "jackass" once or twice... it's not enough for an E-rating, but I want you to be aware just in case you want to listen away from sensitive ears.) Hi Friends, I had planned for, and drafted, a very different kind of post today for you (I got about a dozen spider bites while sleeping Saturday night, and we've got a very large ant invasion going on in our kitchen; my abandoned draft was largely about these.) But as I wrote I realized how truly small and insignificant these concerns of mine are. There is a lot going on in the world, and a lot going on in the news. And I wanted to start the week off with a simpler message. I wasn't sure what that message would be, except somehow I wanted to transcend the fear, the worry, and the struggles that we are seeing in the news, and even in our own homes. My family and I just finished virtually attending the closing ceremonies for the year at my son's school, and the Executive Director George Popham teared up saying the following: "If there's one important thing we should be doing, it is to put good, kind people in the world." Immediately I knew that that was the message I wanted to share. This morning when I woke up, and even as I began to write this email, I was feeling helpless and small and afraid. (And itchy from spider bites, if I'm being honest.) Hearing George's words made me feel much, much better. We have a really important mission, us parents: It's to put good, kind people in the world. If we do nothing else – absolutely nothing! – besides this, I believe it will be enough. And if I can be helpful to you, as you are working on this mission, that would fulfill something deep in me. I have lots of ideas and experience working with young children, and spent nearly a decade working in an outstanding, cutting-edge preschool program. I earned my bachelor's degree in Human Development and Family Relations, and later my master's degree in Early Childhood Education. I've spent the last six years helping parents rein in their children's bad behavior and truly enjoy family life. I know a lot about what makes kids tick, and how we can alleviate their bad behavior, and thus connect with them and feel happy within ourselves as we raise them. If we're going to raise kind people, we can do that best by making our environment is positive and kind as possible. If you're struggling with that, I hope I can be helpful for you! I just built a page on my website, weturnedoutokay.com/bias, where I gathered many of the resources that have been helping me learn to combat racism – a huge part of raising good and kind kids. I've also got lots of other free resources, including 332 back podcast episodes, and an entire Virtual Summit that I put on in response to the pandemic this past April. You can spend more in depth time with me each Wednesday evening by joining the WTOO Book Club, which is free to join, and can be free to read the book if the purchase cost is a barrier for you. And I am running a special right now, until this coming Wednesday, June 3, on entry into the virtual coaching practice where I personally help parents with their biggest challenges, trying to make this as affordable for you as possible. Lastly, if you've got any parenting questions at all I hope you'll go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact and ask. We will get through this, together. Cheers, Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"I feel like I'm completely alone trying to meet completely insatiable needs for days on end." That is what one of the moms in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote early last week. She's not the only one. Not by a longshot! In this week's episode I share my best ideas for getting through a crisis. Even a slow-motion, simultaneously-terrifying-and-tedious, pandemic-induced crisis like the one we're in now in June 2020. If your energy, patience, and/or well-being is flagging, first of all let me offer HUGE hugs! Listen to this episode for some practical things you can do to get through the toughest of these tough times. Join us! Links that come up today: Parenting Masterclass For the all-summer-long live Masterclass series, "Parenting in Place," which features lots of WTOO beloved guests and friends, like Audrey Monke, Jessica Lahey, and Devorah Heitner, click here! (I'm signed up for it, and I hope you'll sign up too!) Ninja Parent Playbook! Want to be a part of the (extremely limited) first-ever issue of the Ninja Parent Playbook? This is the brainwave I mentioned briefly in last week's episode – a newsletter to help you keep going, anchored by a calendar that gives you some small step to take every day. But it's so much more than that. It's part workbook, part inspirational thinking, part marching orders to keep you on track. It's packed with informative and thoughtful ideas to help you not just "live through" this (or any) crisis – but really, truly LIVE. If you want to bring your family safely through hard times, while feeling not just as if you're scraping by but as if you are happy within yourself and in your family, you need this newsletter! It's a monthly publication that comes in your mailbox! (If you're outside the US at this point it needs to be a PDF into your email, although I'm hoping that will change in the future : ) Click the link below to sign up: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook WTOO Book Club Click the following link for the WTOO Book Club (we are reading Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book and one that really gets to the heart of how to have a happy family life) weturnedoutokay.com/bookclub Grand Reopening sale ends Wednesday, June 3 Earlier I mentioned the Ninja Parenting Community, my online private coaching practice; Wednesday, June 3, 2020 is your LAST day to get a special quarterly rate – 3 months for the price of 2! Click this link for details: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC Click weturnedoutokay.com/066 for my conversation about consent, with Amy Anderson. Click weturnedoutokay.com/332 for last week's conversation with special needs preschool teacher, and close friend and colleague of mine, Tricia Tomaso (the episode comes up today because I shared last week about the brainwave that has become the Ninja Parent Playbook : ) Click weturnedoutokay.com/333 to view this post in your browser. And again huge hugs! We will get through this together This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe