Art Creativity & Wellbeing

I’m so excited to bring you returning champions Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of Modern Manners for Moms and Dads today! You’ll learn why the kind of parent that we are matters, especially right now… and you’ll hear how these two wonderful educators take my very cynical Roundtable question and turn it around. You’ll also hear their awesome Roundtable questions for us all to discuss – one pertains to the election, and so I felt I had to publish this episode today, so you’ve got a couple weeks to listen! Evie and Sarah brought me onto their show in early March 2020, just before the pandemic changed everything. If you listen to that episode, you’ll notice that I identify myself as one kind of parent (what Evie and Sarah would now call a Crescent-style parent)… When I bring them onto my show in episode 340, just a few months later – but after our world has completely changed – my parenting style has completely changed too. I’ve become a Constellation-style parent. For all the wrong reasons! In the interview portion of today’s episode, I share about my current parenting style, a perfect split between Crescent and Constellation, and how I’ve made my peace with that. We also talk about their new book! It’s called Modern Manners for Moms and Dads, and you can download the first chapter for free by clicking here: http://evieandsarah.com/book! Did you notice, I referred to the “interview portion” of today’s episode? That’s because as I have moved into publishing every other week, it’s opened up really interesting and cool opportunities for making the show just a little different. We still talk about the same important things. It’s still all about helping you feel cared for, no matter what your circumstances are. I’m just doing that in different ways that never presented themselves when I released an episode every week. So for the first half hour or so, I share things like the Parenting News (a REALLY good one today) and some things I’m offering, like – this week’s Free Live Training on handling worries in a playful way (it’s this coming Friday 10/23/20, sign up here: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly) – the sweet, 3-months-for-the-rate-of-2 deal I’m offering on the We Turned Out Okay Playbook (https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook) – how much you’re enjoying the powerful, even magical private coaching calls so many of you have scheduled with me (schedule yours by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/contact; they are completely free of charge and with no strings attached) – the Self-care Bootcamp we are doing throughout the American election week, 11/2-11/6, in the Ninja Parenting Community (you can try the Community for your whole first month for just $3, just by clicking https://weturnedoutokay.com/courage! Then Evie, Sarah, and I have our fantastic conversation… And after THAT I read you an essay that I’ve written. It’s called Socks and Medicine and Fear and Love (you can read it by clicking here.) I hope it helps you frame the small, daily choices that you have a little differently. If you, like me, are prone to coming from fear in these small daily choices, I hope it helps you come from a place of love for yourself. Because I truly believe that the only way you can come from a place of love for others. Click the following link if you’d like more essays like this in your life: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly. And click the following link to view this post in your browser: https://weturnedoutokay.com/348. Cheers! And thanks for listening/reading! Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

With all the talk recently about something called “patriotic learning,” I wanted to bring you an episode to help you understand how education can become a political football, what that really means for your child, and what you can do about it. So I called on my friend, historian Gary Gregory. Gary runs a tour company, Lessons on Liberty, bringing folks into the history of the Revolutionary War. He also runs The Printing Office of Edes and Gill, where he uses the technology of the 1700s to create real documents from that time period, and to bring people into that time period. Gary knows a lot about history, both real and revisionist, and brings us his wisdom today! Hope you enjoy this episode! There are about a million links, and you can find all of them here: weturnedoutokay.com/347-part-2 Cheers! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings! If this feels like a pretty ambitiously named episode, well, that's because this is where we are in fall 2020. We are on the bleeding edge of crisis parenting, and there is a feeling in the air of "this is where our society fails or succeeds." (At least that's how it feels to me! You are very welcome to disagree. Either way, I hope this episode gives you a roadmap to success on your parenting journey, and some hope.) Whether a society succeeds or fails is in large part dependent upon the how that society raises its children. In this episode I offer five ways to think about this idea: 1. A society will fail by operating from a place of fear… A society will succeed by operating from a place of love. 2. A society will fail by rejecting change and diversity… A society will succeed by accepting both of these key qualities and using them to move forward together. 3. A society will fail by looking past – ignoring – that which is right in front of it, but which is difficult to look at… A society will succeed by understanding what is right in front of it, the matter how difficult or upsetting that information is. 4. A society will fail by stunting and mis-shaping children's development… A society will succeed by embracing children, wherever they are in their development, and by playing to their children's strengths. 5. A society will fail by putting up barriers and excluding those who don't share similar beliefs… A society will succeed by choosing to connect on a human level, with compassion and empathy, regardless of beliefs. Thank you for listening! I hope you find this one helpful! (View this post on my website by going to weturnedoutokay.com/347-part-1) Announcements and Links… 1. I am a part of the Emergency Home Learning Summit, a 2-month long Virtual Summit that is free to watch in real time! My talk is coming up this Thursday, and that's not all. The creators of the Summit are making it possible for speakers to do really cool virtual things, like live Office Hours! Learn more and sign up for the Emergency Home Learning Summit here : ) 2. I am offering a Quarterly Membership to the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC.) NPC is where parents are learning how to: – Help their children adjust to virtual schooling – Handle it when teachers are, shall we say, less than kind – Deal with changes in the bedtime routine that results in a child's complete freak out – Bring a parenting partner on board with positive discipline strategies – Understand how their values and parenting style impacts their children's development … And that is just in the last few weeks! Click here to learn more and join NPC at the Quarterly Membership Rate – 3 months for the price of 2, every quarter that you're a member! 3. My monthly publication, the We Turned Out Okay Playbook, is getting some real accolades; licensed mental health counselor Janine Halloran calls it "A life raft for families who are adrift", and subscribers are saying it's "Worth every penny" and "Simple, and yet so powerful." Find out what all the fuss is about – Click the following link to learn more and subscribe to the Playbook: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook 4. Click here for episode 342, my conversation with coach Mariela Ortiz (where I first learned of the idea that we can come from just one of two places, fear or love.) 5. Click here for episode 339, my conversation with Shannon Connery, PhD, which I reference in today's episode. 6. Click here for episode 344, all about "the secret fears of a child development expert" (that's me.) 7. In this part of the episode I reference one of my all-time favorite books, Visual Intelligence by Amy Herman. She teaches first responders, FBI agents, and others how to overcome their own biases and truly see what is right in front of them. Herman's book is such a model for me, and today I hope to help you understand why what she teaches is so crucial to a society's success. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

If there was ever a time to call what we are all doing "crisis parenting," now is it. In this episode, I bring you a critical tool to help you keep going! I also share about why I called this show "We Turned Out Okay, The Modern Parent's Guide to Old-School Parenting." A mom in the WTOO Facebook group asked that question, and this Basics Bootcamp episode seemed like the perfect time to talk about that! Also today, I have three things to invite you into! In chronological order: 1. October's We Turned Out Okay Playbook The October 2020 issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook gives you tools for getting the behavior you WANT from your child – it goes to print at noon on Wednesday 10/23! Licensed mental health counselor and best-selling author Janine Halloran calls my Playbook ""A life raft for families." If a life raft seems like a good idea to you right now, click the link below! weturnedoutokay.com/playbook 2. The rate for my online private coaching practice is going up! I help parents and kids thrive every day in my online private coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC). Members have exclusive access to the WTOO Book Club, twice-monthly Live Members-Only Calls, and some low key, yet powerful, challenges we are doing this autumn! The rate for becoming a member will DOUBLE on Saturday 10/26, so if you've been on the fence about joining the Ninja Parenting Community, get in now before the rate goes up! You'll get your entire first month in NPC for free, too! weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC 3. I'm a Speaker at the Online Toddler Play Summit! My presentation is all about how to keep going while raising will kids, and it's out on Monday, September 28… Get your free ticket to the entire event (there are 20 of us speakers : ) by clicking here Go to weturnedoutokay.com/346 for video of this podcast episode… Other Key Links: Click here for Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book. It comes up today because I share (without any detail whatsoever) of being sexually abused at age 7, a story that I tell in this book. Click here for The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. The tool I shared today comes directly from this book : ) This week's highlighted archive episode is located at weturnedoutokay.com/176, my conversation with Ingrid Alli and Hamilton Graziano. We discuss interracial marriage, parenting, and overcoming bias. It's a great past episode and I hope you enjoy it! Also in the pre-intro I talk about one of my personal heroes, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who we lost last week. I ask you to honor her life by being kind and compassionate. I also share about one of my favorite-ever books, Notorious RBG. Highly recommended reading! Hugs! We will get through this together! Cheers! Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Hi Friends! Today I'm talking about some successes we've seen both with a coaching client, and here at home : ) Aaaaand... the WTOO Book Club starts up September 16, this coming Wednesday (if you're seeing this in real time)! I'm sharing the book we will be discussing, and how to join! (Which is: Go to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC to get our Book Club meetings for free - as part of your first 30 days Free - in the Ninja Parenting Community, which is where the WTOO Book Club now lives : ) I am SUPER excited to spend some quality time together, talk about what's really on your mind right now as a parent, and learn along with you. Cheers! Karen Karen Lock Kolp M.Ed. Child Development Expert, Parent Coach Host of the We Turned Out Okay Podcast, helping parents of young children change kids' behavior from bad to good; feel happy inside; and truly enjoy family time weturnedoutokay.com/ Publisher of the monthly We Turned Out Okay Playbook, teaching simple, powerful tools to help parents feel in control of family life, and happy inside weturnedoutokay.com/playbook/ Author of 3 parenting books including Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, written to help parents "keep calm and handle every temper tantrum" weturnedoutokay.com/books/ The quote I live by: "The opposite of play is not work. It is depression." – Brian Sutton-Smith This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

I'm so excited to bring you today's guest, Phyllis Fagell, LCPC, mom, school counselor, and author of the wonderful book Middle School Matters. Phyllis helps us (yes – I include myself in here : ) – Pick our battles – Talk with teachers and caregivers – Figure out what we CAN do In short Phyllis helps us feel in control of our family's direction right now. That's SO important, given this extremely shaky start to the school year and our worries about the pandemic, downright silly politics, and the need for racial and social justice. Not to mention our own need to pour from a full cup and not an empty one. Given all that, I know you are going to LOVE our conversation! You can find Phyllis, and all the wonderful work she does, by going to PhyllisFagell.com Links that come up in today's episode: Because we've gone to and every-other-week schedule, in each episode I offer a back episode of We Turned Out Okay, something you can listen to in our off week! Today, I bring you my first conversation with Raeshal Solomon, from episode 215. Raeshal single-handedly got herself out from under a mountain of debt, while living with a serious chronic illness. She's a money expert, but more than that she is an expert in keeping going! I know you are going to love this conversation. (Raeshal was also a part of OkayCon 2020, my Free Virtual Summit from this past March, right at the beginning of the pandemic. Click weturnedoutokay.com/328 for Raeshal's wonderful contribution to OkayCon 2020.) I'm excited to share, I will be part of the Reignite Toddler Play global virtual summit coming up at the end of this month! I don't have the link yet, but as soon as I do I will drop it in here. Holly Peretz, the creator of the Virtual Summit interviewed me this past week and I just know you're going to love this conference! I'm spending September offering you HOPE… – Click here to watch the first module of my premium "How to Keep Going" course, absolutely free, right there on the page. – On that page you can also sign up to get the ENTIRE "How to Keep Going course, completely free! (You can also do that by clicking here.) – "A life raft for families who are struggling to stay afloat." That's what Janine Halloran, LMHC, author of Coping Skills for Kids and Coping Skills for Teens recently said about my We Turned Out Okay Playbook. That is high praise indeed! Check out the Playbook for yourself by going to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook. You can subscribe for the October issue on that page, too! – In this post, called "A case study about handling epic tantrums," I share the tools and strategies that a mom in our Ninja Parenting Community successfully employed to stop her four-year-old's extremely epic tantrums. If she can do it, so can you! Click here to learn how you can work with me, for free, for a whole month. - Bruce Feiler's wonderful book, Life is in the Transitions, comes up in our conversation today. – Click here to say hi in Instagram!… In Twitter… On the WTOO Facebook page… Or in the WTOO Facebook Group! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to this second installation of Basics Bootcamp! I tell some truths today that we need to hear and recognize, if we are going to raise a happy family and feel good inside ourselves. Just like the title says, I do dive into my biggest and deepest fears about the pressures put on you, as you raise your kids. I say things today that scare the bejabbers out of me! But I know they need to be said. As a child development expert, I'm the one who has to say them. I also share something positive: my biggest hope. It's a buckwild episode for buckwild times… Let's dive in! PS lots of links today! Get your whole first month in the Ninja Parenting Community, my online private coaching practice, for FREE by going to: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC We've moved to an every-other-week format, and each episode I am highlighting a great episode from the past! Today, I offer my conversation with Jonathan Fields, founder of The Good Life Project from December 2016. It's maybe even more relevant today than when we originally recorded. weturnedoutokay.com/125 Today I share two pieces of recent parenting news that had me with my jaw on the floor: "Parents accused of neglect over virtual truancy; Charges, as families struggle with remote classes" "No pajamas allowed for online learning, Illinois district says" In the very first episode of the show, I invited my four best friends from life on, and we all talk about our unplanned adventures: weturnedoutokay.com/000 Here is the first in my Basics Bootcamp series, all about why boundaries are so important when raising kids: weturnedoutokay.com/343 I share about how my kids have gone from reading Dave Barry essay collections to watching calculus lectures on YouTube… for fun… and getting way more out of books like 1984 and Brave New World than I ever did. I also talk about how the movie Super Size Me helped establish some trust in digital offerings in one of my sons, who'd been feeling as if you just can't trust anything, from any source, that you had not experienced your actual self. (It turns out that, when I share in this episode that Morgan Spurlock gained "like 50 pounds," I was wrong – it was 24 pounds. But still, he gained 24 pounds in 30 days of eating only McDonald's food. That's a lot of pounds!) I share about how Pat Flynn of SPI.com, and Rich Litvin of RichLitvin.com, have helped me on my journey to creating, producing, and keeping going with this show and everything at weturnedoutokay.com. Cheers! Karen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome! In this episode I share a recent case study from my online private coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), where the mom of a four-year-old was dealing with extreme temper tantrums, and fearful that her son would never learn to obey the rules. Even the ones for safety. She struggled to see how good boundaries could improve that situation – until they did. Here's something I have learned during the coronavirus pandemic: Basics matter. Understanding how to do the most basic things, like getting a child to obey you, is even more important now than ever. And yet the basics are elusive during the pandemic. Today we dive into using a super basic thing, good boundaries, to get your child to obey you. Also I share about what's happening with the We Turned Out Okay Podcast… changes are coming, ones that will make the creation of the show sustainable for your host : ) It's interesting, because good boundaries also come into play in talking about the changes to the show. Join us! Key Links and Notes: Click here for my conversation with coach Mariela Ortiz, which is where she brings up a great metaphor: how much more helpful it is for us to help our friend OUT of a hole, rather than jump into the hole along with them… Mariela relates that back to how crucial it is for us to take care of ourselves, get privacy and breaks when necessary, so that we can keep going. Click here for the fantastic article about returning to school in the pandemic that educator and best-selling author Jessica Lahey wrote, along with her husband Tim Lahey, who was an infectious diseases doctor. They contribute their expertise to give us a great set of guidelines for whether we should be returning to physical school, or virtual school. It's awesome. Click here for my video and checklist on "Successful potty training even under pressure" Click here for my video and checklist on "How to handle every temper tantrum" Check out my new publication, the We Turned Out Okay Playbook, and get your digital copy of the inaugural issue for free! Click here to get my weekly Parenting Newsletters; I write multiple times per week, with tools, ideas, and (usually) at least one thing I learned how to do better, and how it pertains to helping your family thrive! Today's back episode reference: weturnedoutokay.com/036 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Our choices right now seem extremely limited, don't they? We don't have a choice in how the coronavirus spreads, we don't have a lot of choices in how our children's childcare and schooling works right now. For many of us even our own ability to be private, to have alone time, doesn't feel like it's under our control. Today's guest, Mariela Ortiz, helps us to a different mindset: she talks about "a daily practice of choice." Some things are in our control; we can make meaningful choices. Listen to today's conversation to figure out how to do that! Notes and Links Mariela invited me to be one of the experts in her Mommy Matters Summit, such an honor! And we have a GREAT conversation, which you can watch by signing up for the Summit at the link below. It started Monday, August 3 and will go through August 27, 2020, with a new guest expert each day! Sign up to get 25 days' worth of guests – including me – in your inbox by going to: mommymatterssummit.com Get your FREE August 2020 inaugural issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook I'm excited to share the start of something fun and helpful, the We Turned Out Okay Playbook! It's a monthly publication I'm creating to help you feel like you have some power, and some good choices to make, even in the midst of all the insanity. You can download the August 2020 PDF completely free! Go to: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook Weekly "How is Karen overcoming burnout and exhaustion" Newsletter Series Continues For the last seven weeks I have shared a newsletter each week about how I'm overcoming burnout and exhaustion, in this time where being a parent is so tough. Last week I wrote about the part that music plays in my self-care (click here to read about that.) Get the next newsletters in this series by going to: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly Visit weturnedoutokay.com/342 for the video of my conversation today, and for these show notes. Hugs from me to you! We will get through this time together! Click here for a favorite book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Click here for another favorite book, Skulduggery Pleasant. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

SENSITIVE EARS ALERT… Part way through this episode I share about a traumatic event that happened to me in my childhood. I ask that you put on headphones, or listen away from sensitive ears. Thank you! Today I share three keys to success, when parenting in a pandemic or any crisis. They are not difficult keys. Because if they were, we wouldn't be able to do them as consistently as they need doing… Instead, the first key is relaxing, the second key is enjoyable, and the the third key takes something negative and frames it to be positive. Also: the day before I recorded this episode I had a total brainwave. I connected up my superpower – helping people feel seen and cared for – to the reason I have this gift, and have had ever since I can remember. It's not a pretty reason. When I was seven years old I was sexually abused, in my own home, with my mom right upstairs. (She was completely unaware, and I would be a senior in college before she discovered the extent of the trauma. In my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, I share about what my folks did that was helpful, even though they had no idea what had happened to me.) After the incident, my whole personality changed. I felt lost, anxious every time we drove out of my ken in the car, and convinced that if I lost sight of my family, they had deserted me. The day before recording this episode I had the following brainwave: My superpower comes from the fact that no one gave me the care that I needed, no one came to my rescue on that day. No one had found me when I was lost. So, I had to learn to do that for myself. I had to take care of little Karen, because no one else was there to do that. And it's left me with a unique ability, that I've been practicing ever since: to make people feel seen, and cared for. It's become the defining value of my life. So if you're feeling lost, or as if no one cares about you, let me be that person for you. As a child development expert, I've never yet met a parent who didn't have some concerns for their children. If you're feeling like everything is impossible right now – lockdown, mask etiquette, school-at-at home, chaos in one corner and fire in another – I can help. I've got two ways: First, I am creating a publication called the We Turned Out Okay Playbook. It is going to be so helpful for you, as you navigate the craziness and help your family through it all. I wrote it to help you LIVE in challenging times, so you and your family can come through them and thrive. Check it out – and download the August 2020 PDF completely free – by going to: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook Second, I'm opening up some time in my schedule to talk. For conversations. Conversation that helps you feel seen, and heard, and cared for. Conversation that helps you handle parenting, in the age of coronavirus. If you want to think possibilities instead of fears… If you want the help of someone who knows her child-development stuff, who helps her clients get real success… If you want to have a conversation that's so helpful that you will literally remember it for the rest of your life… Email me! (I share my email address towards the end of this episode. I won't write it down for bot-fraud-prevention purposes, but suffice it to say that my email address is my name, combined with the name of this website. Or, you could just listen to this episode, where you'll hear me say it out loud : ) I've worked with people who came into a coaching session with me, believing that something was impossible. They came out of it looking forward to some new possibilities and within a very short amount of time (the story that I share in this episode, it was the same day) wrote to me and said "I thought this was impossible, and we are DOING it!" What is possible for you? Let's find out. Key Links The inaugural issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook is officially out! Click the link below to view and download your free PDF copy of Issue 1/August 2020: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook The wonderful coach, Mariela Ortiz, was kind enough to include me in her virtual summit, Mommy Matters! Click the link below to join the Free virtual Summit that Mariela is offering, which starts on August 3: https://bit.ly/2Ztu7pJ On August 4 (next week if you're listening in real time) Mariela is my guest on We Turned Out Okay! On that day or after you can click the following link to listen to our conversation: weturnedoutokay.com/342 I am loving the Parenting in Place Masterclass, and talk about this in here today because the second key to success for parenting in the pandemic is a game that I first heard of in this masterclass. Click the link below to find out more about it: parentinginplacemasterclass.com Click the link below for this post in your browser: weturnedoutokay.com/341 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe