ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

When you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times. You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it. Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around. As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes. Unfortunately, this can be a disaster for your marriage. When you don’t care how you say something or what you say to your spouse, you open up each of you to a world of hurt. Both of you deserve the respect of the other. Both of you deserve to be treated in the same way that you wish to be treated. If you don’t want your spouse to raise their voice at you. Don’t raise your voice at them. If you don’t want your spouse to interrupt you. Don’t interrupt them. If you don’t want to be accused of ALWAYS OR NEVER. Don’t do it to them. If you want to be able to have fruitful conversations it’s not just about how you say something. It’s also about when you say something. It's about your tone and timing. There are times when stress levels are high. There are times when fatigue is a huge factor (or hunger). There are times when your spouse is naturally less talkative. These are not the times to bring up a serious conversation. No one is going to be productive. Choosing the time to talk is just as important if not more so then what you are talking about. Take the first step and listen now. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about how the tone of your voice and the timing of your conversations ultimately determine the success of your conversations. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In your marriage there are six forms of intimacy that build your foundation. Each are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust. And, sexual intimacy is one of them. When your needs or those of your spouse are not being met a few things start to happen… You wonder why you are married in the first place and start thinking about getting out. You begin to get resentful and withdraw from the marriage. You don’t see the harm in look toward other things to fulfill you (pornography, erotica, emotional affairs, physical affairs, etc.) since your spouse isn’t doing anything. This is not the marriage that you want to live in. It’s not healthy. It’s a relationship filled with... anger frustration sadness resentment disappointment withdrawal loneliness You can have an amazing sex life. You can learn how to please each other. Learning anything new takes time, patience, an open mind and a willingness to learn. On this week's show Tony and Alisa share why sex is a part of marriage (no matter if it's stagnant or vibrant) and how the two can make your sexual intimacy burn once again. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana 19 Questions to Amazing Sex with Your Spouse 140 - Scheduling Sex Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are a lot of distractions in the world… electronics, social media, daily tasks, other people, etc. Because of these distractions it’s easy to lose sight of the gift that you have right in front of your face. The gift of your spouse that God has given to you. You and your spouse spoke a covenant to each other to be together “as long as life shall last.” And yet time goes by and what you once did you no longer do anymore. Saying words of encouragement and complimenting your spouse is vital for them and for you. When you use words of encouragement for your spouse… It boosts their confidence. It lets them know that they are valued. It lets them know that your heart and mind are on them, not on other people or other things. As you speak these words of encouragement you… Keep you focus on what you already have. Show that you are their support. Push away the distractions that are around you. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa dive deep on ways that you can compliment and use words of encouragement that are easy, effective and powerful. These simple statements will powerfully impact your marriage (and spouse!) for many years to come.   EPISODE SPONSOR | One-On-One Coaching Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you at a point where you spouse has said we need help or else? Have you just woken up to the fact that you have drifted apart and don’t know how to find your way back to one another? It’s time to take the next step. It’s time to apply for coaching with Alisa and make the changes necessary in your marriage. 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You desire to be sexually intimacy with your spouse and at the same time add some adventure and variety in your bedroom. Where do you start? What do you need? We struggled with this for years in our own marriage. You know how it goes, you do the same things over and over and it can be tough to jump out and try something new. To be honest we tried many ways to do this and have experienced many misses along the way. We weren't going to be stopped though. We desired to make our bedroom a sanctuary, a place of fun, a place of relaxation, a place of adventure. Through trial and error we have found a number of items that create romance, fun, adventure and pampering. You have to check these out... 11 MUST HAVE Items For Your Bedroom In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about some of these must have items, coconut oil, a vibrator and The Game of Love, that you can get to make your bedroom the most desirable room in your home. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Game of Love Put some fun & games back into your relationship!  The Game of Love is a bed sheet board game that you can customize to fit your relationship just right! Every game kit includes a fitted bed sheet with a blank game board on it. You’ll use the provided fabric markers to write in each space a physical activity, question, mini game, or another idea from the Game of Love’s online Idea Vault. Visit The Game of Love and use 1MARRIAGE to get $5.00 off any game kit! Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Everyday there are conversations going on about marriage where someone says... My spouse doesn’t make me happy. I’m not happy in this marriage. Why isn’t my happiness important? The issue many marriages face right now is that of the ME focus. It is common place that there is an expectation that everyone and everything exist for your happiness. This is especially prevalent in the marriage relationship. A shift needs to happen in you for your marriage to thrive. As an individual and part of a marriage you need to learn what brings you happiness and then go create that in your life and your marriage. It’s is a myth that your spouse was put here on this planet to make you happy? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why your spouse isn't the only place you should look for your happiness as we remove the masks on the happiness myth. EPISODE SPONSOR | OUR SIX QUESTIONS 6 INCREDIBLE questions to instantly break the silence with your spouse. Easy, awesome, lighthearted prompts to get your spouse to open up today. WARNING: these questions may bring a smile to you and your partners face upon sharing. Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage Not to Make You Happy But to Make You Holy The Five Love Languages Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you living in your own little bubble with your head down, focused only on yourself, your needs, your wants... And yet your spouse may be there wondering if you even know what’s happening to them, what’s going on at work or at home, or how a recent event has impacted them. You haven't taken time to look up recently and in doing so you've forgotten that you are in a marriage with another person. Your community is being impacted. You have stopped seeing the needs of others are are ONLY focused on YOUR needs. Marriage was never designed to be a ME focused relationship. It was designed to bring two people together to be better and stronger than they would be on their own. The only way that you can be better together is if you shift your focus to look up and look at your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s time to turn your eyes skyward and look up to what’s ahead in your marriage. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Defeated. Worn out. Frustrated. Any of these and many more emotions can get you to a place where you have told yourself that you can't do anything right. Nope. Nothing. This is a lie and four words that will bankrupt you and your marriage. Before you say these words to yourself make sure you use the "3 P's". Pause. Pray. Proceed. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about getting past a place of disconnection especially when you say, "I can’t do anything right" to yourself and to your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs,She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Marriage counselling professionals agreed on the number one cause of divorce… “Poor Communication” but how do you get better communication skills and save your marriage? Your communication solution is He Zigs, She Zags! He Zigs, She Zags is amazing! There is no fluff, no unrealistic expectations, just down to earth, practical advice on having an incredible, Christ centered marriage. —Hannah W., Georgia Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you lost the spark, emotional, physical, or sexual, in your marriage? Has the fire you once had burning strong is now a flicker and dimming more and more with every day that passes? If the fire isn’t as hot as you would like it’s time to fan the flames and get it going again. For a fire to burn you need to fan the flames with oxygen, heat and fuel. It's time for you to pour each of these into your marriage and if one of these is missing you will have a difficult time trying to fan the flames of your sexual intimacy. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the 3 things that every fire needs and how you can apply these to the fan the flames needed in your bedroom. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. You really HAVE to try new things in your sex life or you’ll both get bored. This boredom leads to your love life being no less stressful than the rest of your life. Start your challenge TODAY! [VIDEO] Look Into Each Other's Eyes Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

According to a 2014 article in The Economist, the average length of marriage in the USA is 8 years. When you factor in that many couples will wait 2-3 years after marriage to have kids you can see that there is a need to better understand the years and decade after having kids. The math from above if it plays out means that many divorces are happening midway through having kids introduced to the marriage. So... ...if this is the case then you need to be equipped and ready for the decade that follows your first child. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about making it through the first decade of parenting stronger than you started. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. You really HAVE to try new things in your sex life or you’ll both get bored. This boredom leads to your love life being no less stressful than the rest of your life. Start your challenge TODAY! 193 - Divorce Is Off The Table Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The quickie can be an amazing sexual experience in your marriage if you know the secret to enjoying it together. In our own marriage, our sex life can be a bit off during the summer months. Different schedules, kids are home, vacations, and just hanging out. This change in seasons can be challenging if you and your spouse don’t discuss what is happening. When expectations are kept to yourself it sets the two of you up for frustration and failure. Not something either of you want. In this week's Tony and Alisa talk about setting up your quickie expectations and the necessity for both of you to enjoy a quickie in different seasons of your marriage. Episode Sponsor - The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex Have you been at a loss for new ways to initiate sex? Do you do the same thing every time? It’s time to spice things up and get creative. Pick up your FREE copy of the The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex. Scheduling Sex and The Intimacy Lifestyle Sexpectations Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices