ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

You’re busy. There is a lot going on in your life. When you’re dating or even newly married it seems like you have the ability to make the time for one another no matter what. You’ll rearrange your schedule. You’ll say no to other people or activities that would take you away from your love. And then over time... well other things start to fill up that time. The less time you spend engaged in your relationship the more disconnect there is. No matter if you have been married, 3 months or 30 years you still have to get to know your spouse. When you stop giving that time to one another, when you stop learning about one another there is a natural drift apart that occurs. Without some type of  behavior change that gap can get wider and wider. You know when you are co-existing in the same house, but not really growing together. It's time to do a time makeover... In looking at your week you will begin to see the time that you do have together, is it really quality time? Or do you just happen to be home at the same time. Are you doing things together? Are you talking? Are you dating? Are you having sex? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do together to find those chunks of time in your 168 hours each week so you connect regularly. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we have talked about on the show is ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Get More Quality Time Workshop Scheduling Sex... A Quick Intimacy Lifestyle Overview [VIDEO] Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On October 5th we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary! For our anniversary day we choose to have a date day with a theme...we’ll share this date idea on an upcoming Periscope. Follow us there @oneextraordinary. One part of the date was to go to a local shooting range. It was one of those things that sounded like a good idea until we got there and started going over all of the safety features. There was one moment when Alisa almost said, "Nope, not gonna do it." Fear of the unknown almost stopped us from having an new learning experience together. So what happened once we got in the shooting range...We learned a lot about marriage in just 90 minutes. In this week's show Tony and Alisa share what you can learn about your marriage when you hold on tight to each other. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Core Values Workshop Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you have said to yourself and/or to your spouse, "It's been too long since we've had sex", then it's time to sit down to figure out what is going on. The topic of sexless marriages is one a lot of people shy away from. Most of the time because if it is not talked about then the problem doesn't exist. Unfortunately, roughly 15% of marriage have not had sex with their spouse in the last six to twelve months, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University. Sexless marriages by definition are marriages in which a couple has sex less than 10-12 times per year. Why is this happening: too much rejection broken trust lack of communication medication What we cover in this show is NOT those seasons of marriage where you are unable to have sex due to medical conditions OR physical limitations, but areas that you can address in a physically healthy marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa dive into why there has been an increase in sexless marriages and the impact it has on you. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we have talked about on the show is ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. The Rise of All-Purpose Antidepressants The Brutal Truth About Sexless Marriages When Sex Leaves the Marriage On Air with Ella - One (HOT!) Extraordinary Marriage Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is not just about the emotional toll it has, but also the physical impact it has on women. There are many symptoms that can be experienced. Some of these are: feeling tired food cravings trouble with memory joint or muscle pain tension, irritability, mood swings or crying spells PMS can create feelings of disconnect during the month. Leading her to... An unwillingness to be touched. A short "fuse". Roller coaster of emotions. And for him... Not knowing what to do or say. Struggles with how to comfort his wife. There is a lack of physical connection. And studies show that PMS can last 1-2 weeks BEFORE a woman gets her period which then averages 5 days. In this week's show Tony and Alisa bring you the married couples guide to PMS and how to talk about it together. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Taking Charge of Your Fertility How Did He Know? Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Routine... while is seems easy and comforting at first really and truly leads to boredom. Boredom in your marriage leads to looking for other people or things to break that sense of routine. This boredom if not address can lead to emotional affairs, to physical affairs, to erotica and pornography, to excessive spending, to countless hours lost on social media and most importantly a loss of connection with your spouse. For you this feels like Groundhog Day. The same thing is happening day in and day out in your marriages. Nothing changes except the date on the calendar. Your conversations are about the same things. Your dates all look the same. Your sex life hasn’t had any variety in what seems like forever. It’s a Groundhog Day season of marriage... Doing the same thing over and over. The definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." It's time to break the routine, to stop living as if Groundhog Day is your life! In this week's show Tony and Alisa share what happens to your marriage when it seems as Groundhog Day is happening day after day and how you can break the cycle of routine so you can have abundance. EPISODE SPONSOR | Core Values Workshop - September 23, 2015 at 6:30 PM PST Here's what's happening. We've almost reached our registrations limit and are closing the doors to The Core Values Workshop LIVE training. Join us right now and register before you lose your chance. We have to close the offer so we can focus on all the new members. So NOW is the time to get off the fence and get in! We can't wait to connect with you live! Register today: www.CoreValuesWorkshop.com Trenchcoat And High Heels Discover the Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex With Your Spouse TONIGHT Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This show came out of a conversation we had as Tony walked from the master bathroom into our bedroom... naked. It occurred to us that those couples who walk around naked are couples who are vulnerable and comfortable with each other. We realized through this conversation that walking around naked in our own marriage has taken many different forms over the years. There have been different times in our lives when we would walk around naked and other times when we would not. These include: Newlywed years New parents stage Young kids around Teenagers and their schedules Empty nesters Through the years there has been changes to our bodies. We have gone from our early 20s, when we got marriage, to now in our 40s. This isn't only about how we look, it’s about how we think we look, and the messages that we give each other. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about being comfortable in your own skin as well as around your spouse as you walk around naked at home. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People are lost. Marriages are lost. Families are lost. We have become a society, that for the most part, doesn’t plan who or what we stand for. Do you know what your marriage stands for? Every couple and family has their own unique set of characteristics. Whether it's something that they have sat down and consciously decided on OR it's something that they have just "fallen" into. This is their identity. Sometimes those things that you are known for, aren't necessarily positive... that family is always late that family never spends time together that family.... What would happen if you choose to create your identity? If you choose the positive words to speak over your marriage, over your spouse, over your children? Words matter. Values matter. What you stand for, what you speak to each other, what you value impacts every decision that you make. These are your true values. It's not enough to just "have this idea in your head" it has to be something that you participate in together and have a hand in forming. What values in our marriage is not going to be the same as what will ultimately be your core values. While the values aren't going to be the same, the fact that we take the time to create this and identify them for our families transforms us, and our communities. It becomes an identity, our foundation. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about your family legacy and the importance of discovering your true values as a person and as a couple. EPISODE SPONSOR | Core Values Workshop - September 23rd, 2015 What would it be like to have greater clarity and peace when making the choices that matter with your spouse? Marriage means tackling  "the big things" together, as true teammates. Whether you’re newlyweds, married 5, 10, 30 years or a couple at any stage you will have to navigate big decisions together. You can connect with your spouse in an incredible  new way. The Core Values Workshop is built around specific, clear, actionable steps that will help you connect with your better half in a judgment-free way. Some Nights by Fun (Video) Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times. You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it. Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around. As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes. Unfortunately, this can be a disaster for your marriage. When you don’t care how you say something or what you say to your spouse, you open up each of you to a world of hurt. Both of you deserve the respect of the other. Both of you deserve to be treated in the same way that you wish to be treated. If you don’t want your spouse to raise their voice at you. Don’t raise your voice at them. If you don’t want your spouse to interrupt you. Don’t interrupt them. If you don’t want to be accused of ALWAYS OR NEVER. Don’t do it to them. If you want to be able to have fruitful conversations it’s not just about how you say something. It’s also about when you say something. It's about your tone and timing. There are times when stress levels are high. There are times when fatigue is a huge factor (or hunger). There are times when your spouse is naturally less talkative. These are not the times to bring up a serious conversation. No one is going to be productive. Choosing the time to talk is just as important if not more so then what you are talking about. Take the first step and listen now. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about how the tone of your voice and the timing of your conversations ultimately determine the success of your conversations. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In your marriage there are six forms of intimacy that build your foundation. Each are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust. And, sexual intimacy is one of them. When your needs or those of your spouse are not being met a few things start to happen… You wonder why you are married in the first place and start thinking about getting out. You begin to get resentful and withdraw from the marriage. You don’t see the harm in look toward other things to fulfill you (pornography, erotica, emotional affairs, physical affairs, etc.) since your spouse isn’t doing anything. This is not the marriage that you want to live in. It’s not healthy. It’s a relationship filled with... anger frustration sadness resentment disappointment withdrawal loneliness You can have an amazing sex life. You can learn how to please each other. Learning anything new takes time, patience, an open mind and a willingness to learn. On this week's show Tony and Alisa share why sex is a part of marriage (no matter if it's stagnant or vibrant) and how the two can make your sexual intimacy burn once again. EPISODE SPONSOR | He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path I got married 7 months ago and as a newlywed I can honestly say there is no play book or instruction manual to prepare you for this thing called marriage. He Zigs, She Zags has been our play book when it comes to our communication. I just wanted to message you guys and say THANK YOU. You are making a difference in our marriage! —Chris C., Indiana 19 Questions to Amazing Sex with Your Spouse 140 - Scheduling Sex Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are a lot of distractions in the world… electronics, social media, daily tasks, other people, etc. Because of these distractions it’s easy to lose sight of the gift that you have right in front of your face. The gift of your spouse that God has given to you. You and your spouse spoke a covenant to each other to be together “as long as life shall last.” And yet time goes by and what you once did you no longer do anymore. Saying words of encouragement and complimenting your spouse is vital for them and for you. When you use words of encouragement for your spouse… It boosts their confidence. It lets them know that they are valued. It lets them know that your heart and mind are on them, not on other people or other things. As you speak these words of encouragement you… Keep you focus on what you already have. Show that you are their support. Push away the distractions that are around you. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa dive deep on ways that you can compliment and use words of encouragement that are easy, effective and powerful. These simple statements will powerfully impact your marriage (and spouse!) for many years to come.   EPISODE SPONSOR | One-On-One Coaching Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you at a point where you spouse has said we need help or else? Have you just woken up to the fact that you have drifted apart and don’t know how to find your way back to one another? It’s time to take the next step. It’s time to apply for coaching with Alisa and make the changes necessary in your marriage. 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices