ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

This time of year can be challenging for so many marriages. You are trying to hold it together for the family, for the kids, for the holidays and for yourself. Over the last weeks and months you have noticed that you and your spouse have begin to drift. You're living in survival mode, dealing with one thing after the next and yet you were designed to thrive. How did the drift begin in your marriage? For many of us we are TOO busy. There are his schedule, her schedule, the kids’ schedules, volunteering, getting together with friends. So much going on that there was little to no time to truly connect with one another. You and your spouse are not listening to each other. In the precious moments that you have together there is a rush to get through whatever you have to say OR you are so distracted that listening becomes secondary to whatever else you are doing. Also, opportunities to spend time with one another are eclipsed by whatever was on the to do list. This has to get done, we’ve got to do this, etc. etc. You are drifting apart right now from your spouse and there is no end in sight. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens when drift begins to happen in your marriage and what you can do to connect once again. EPISODE SPONSOR | Holiday Book Bundle Christmas is next week and you might be thinking, “What do I get my husband or wife?” We’ve got the perfect solution for you but you are going to have to act fast because there are only 30 of these available... It’s the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Holiday Book Bundle. Softcover copies of our two most popular titles: Connect Like You Did When You First Met 101 Proven Questions for Couples AND 7 Days of Sex Challenge. Improve your emotional intimacy and your physical intimacy this Christmas season. Get both of these titles for only $19 for the bundle, that’s a 56% savings. Grab your Holiday Book Bundle Today! Good or God by John Bevere Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What you choose to listen to does and will impact the decisions that you make. You have voices that are marriage enriching, which foster your relationship and are strong when the two of you are making time for each other, sharing your lives with each other both emotionally and physically. Then there are those voices encouraging you to be selfish. They begin to get louder when there is a disconnect in your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial intimacies. It gets harder to listen to those positive marriage enriching voices when the two of you have let everything else get in the way of your marriage. Don't let these competing voices distract you any longer. Make a choice, daily, sometimes minute by minute that you are going to stop and ask the question, is this choice, is this decision supporting my marriage? Am I choosing to be selfless or selfish in this moment... Selfless, go with it. Selfish, stop in your tracks and determine if this is the path you want to start down. Make sure that those situations, (business trips, electronics, friends, co-workers, etc) that continue to arise that you implement guardrails around. In doing so you will hear the voice that will enrich your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about those competing voices in your head, the ones that encourage you to build your marriage and the ones that justify taking dangerous actions. EPISODE SPONSOR | 101 Easy and Creative Gift Ideas Christmas is almost here and you might be scrambling, trying to figure out just what to give your spouse. Take a deep breath, our team here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage has done the hard work for you. We have compiled a list of 101 Easy and Creative Gift Ideas, everything from body scrub to a hot tub. Gifts for him, for her and for the two of you. It can be hard to find just that special something but this list makes it easy for you. Mind Mastery Cards Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." —Laozi In your marriage there have been joyous times when you look around and think to yourself, " I never thought I would be here" and tough times when you never thought you would be here. Either way you are here right now. What you choose to do at this time will be instrumental in where you are heading in your marriage journey. What we have enjoyed doing over our 19 years of marriage is to celebrate and remember these times. They are a part of us and our testimony of faith, growth, and love. All in all we never thought we would be here! Six year after starting the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show our marriage journey has ebbed and flow and still continues. In this week's show Tony and Alisa share as their journey continues in their marriage, the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show and listener feedback from the ONE Family. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your to-do list is a mile long as the holidays and the end of the year approaches. You have meetings, parties, shopping, last minute errands, cleaning the house, end of the year reports, travel, kids out of school, and more that need to get done. There is so much to do and yet your sexual intimacy gets push aside for this "season", to another day, another week, or maybe you'll wait until next year. Yes you'll celebrate New Year’s together. Hugging, kissing and then starting the new year cuddled together under the sheets. Right? Hopefully, but usually not. This is NOT the season to put your marriage and your sexual intimacy on the back burner. When you are not intentional about your marriage during the holidays the smiley faces come out, but deep down there is hurt, anxiety and frustration. Both of you begin to push each other away, as other things become more important and you drift apart hoping it will be better on New Year's Eve. You may be thinking that you don’t want to start next year the way that this year is ending... Disconnected, lack of communication and not having sex. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about being intentional with all aspects of your marriage, especially your sexual intimacy during the holiday season. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The word thankful means, "feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative." As a married couple you should take time each day, week, and month to share with your spouse how truly thankful you are for them. For how they have had a positive impact in your life. With the end of the year and the holidays upon you it is a perfect time to share with your spouse why you are truly thankful for them over the past year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about expressing gratitude to your spouse about why you are truly thankful for them over this past year. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don't Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar. 285 - Words of Encouragement Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Surprise. Christmas is coming AGAIN this year, in fact it comes every year. Can you believe it? —Said with a little sarcasm. However this is often the sentiment that couples experience when the holidays roll around, every December. Here are a few things that happens during this time of year... lots of activities, parties, concerts, school programs gift exchanges holiday shopping All of these take time and money. From new outfits, a gift to share at a work gift exchange or buying presents for the family. Not only do they take time and money they can increase your stress level. When you get stressed one of the first things to go is your libido. So how can you bring down your stress level? Listen in now and set yourself up for success this holiday season. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about a few ways that you can de-stress the holidays so that you can be present and experience joy this Christmas. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we will be talking about on the show is David Finch’s The Journal of Best Practices. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. 101 Easy and Creative Christmas Gift Ideas Awesome Under $20 Stocking Stuffers Elfster Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Many items that you purchase come with a manual. Your car, your crockpot, the computer, TV, kid's toys and even your mascara has instructions. And yet you and your spouse despite all in all of their complexity do not. You marry someone who is completely unique, who has all kinds of quirks, some of which won’t even come out until you’ve been married for quite awhile. We know because after 19 years of marriage we are still learning about some of them. :) How do you figure out and learn your spouse? After much research on how to set up a marriage manual we discovered The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch. David was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome after he had gotten married and his best practices are a perfect way to create your own marriage manual. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it's important to create a marriage manual so you can have success no matter what you face on your marriage journey. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we will be talking about on the show is David Finch’s The Journal of Best Practices. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage The Journal of Best Practices Color Your Future: Using the Character Code to Enhance Your Life Wired That Way Personality Profile Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Creating a no rejection zone in your marriage is vital to creating an environment where both you and your spouse trust one another. Rejection is incredibly destructive. It eats away at a person’s sense of worth, it creates doubt, it destroys the foundation of your marriage. For the first 11 years of our marriage rejection was as common as breathing air. Over the past eight years we have decided that our bedroom is a no rejection zone. In doing so there has been a shift in us and in our marriage. What we learned is that sometimes you know when you are rejecting your spouse... That’s the bold NO. And other times it with more subtle statements, such as: Not tonight. Not right now. I’m really busy. I have one more thing I have to do. One more chapter to read. I’m going to (cuddle, hang out, watch a movie) with the kids. I have a volunteer meeting. I already made plans with friends. Each one of these things is not bad or destructive in and of themselves. It’s when they become the pattern of behavior in your marriage. It’s when this is all that your spouse hears. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s so important to have a no rejection zone in your bedroom. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. He digs deep into grace based vs law based relationships and the forgotten art of manhood. This is a must read for couples everywhere. Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. 140 - Scheduling Sex Quick Intimacy Lifestyle Overview [VIDEO] Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re busy. There is a lot going on in your life. When you’re dating or even newly married it seems like you have the ability to make the time for one another no matter what. You’ll rearrange your schedule. You’ll say no to other people or activities that would take you away from your love. And then over time... well other things start to fill up that time. The less time you spend engaged in your relationship the more disconnect there is. No matter if you have been married, 3 months or 30 years you still have to get to know your spouse. When you stop giving that time to one another, when you stop learning about one another there is a natural drift apart that occurs. Without some type of  behavior change that gap can get wider and wider. You know when you are co-existing in the same house, but not really growing together. It's time to do a time makeover... In looking at your week you will begin to see the time that you do have together, is it really quality time? Or do you just happen to be home at the same time. Are you doing things together? Are you talking? Are you dating? Are you having sex? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do together to find those chunks of time in your 168 hours each week so you connect regularly. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we have talked about on the show is ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Get More Quality Time Workshop Scheduling Sex... A Quick Intimacy Lifestyle Overview [VIDEO] Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On October 5th we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary! For our anniversary day we choose to have a date day with a theme...we’ll share this date idea on an upcoming Periscope. Follow us there @oneextraordinary. One part of the date was to go to a local shooting range. It was one of those things that sounded like a good idea until we got there and started going over all of the safety features. There was one moment when Alisa almost said, "Nope, not gonna do it." Fear of the unknown almost stopped us from having an new learning experience together. So what happened once we got in the shooting range...We learned a lot about marriage in just 90 minutes. In this week's show Tony and Alisa share what you can learn about your marriage when you hold on tight to each other. EPISODE SPONSOR | The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood In this fascinating read, author Eric Smith, digs into many topics dealing with the marriage relationship and how husbands and wives relate to one another sexually. One of the most challenging for us, was his challenging of the idea of high desire and low desire. Smith asks the question why would God put us in conflict with one another with different levels of desire? Great question! Learn more today when you grab your copy of The Science of a Woman, the Art of Manhood. Core Values Workshop Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices