ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

When a “big” or  “important” conversation is being dealt with via texting it is causing more heartache and less connection for married couples around the world. Avoiding the face to face conversation may seem easier and yet, the end result is that more often then not you are more disconnected. You're questioning your spouse more. You're more frustrated. You're not able to get the context or nuance of what is being said. Time Magazine reported in October 2013  a study in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy that... Men who texted more often in general reported lower relationship quality than those who didn’t ping their significant others as frequently. The researchers can only speculate about why, but suspect that as men disconnect from a relationship, or consider a break-up, they replace face-to-face interactions with less intimate communication in the form of increased texting. Women tended to take to their smartphone keyboards to apologize, work out their differences and make decisions — in other words, when their relationship was in trouble. As their connection with their loved one deteriorated, women attempted to make up or resolve their differences via text, which the scientists believe is the online version of the need to “talk things out.” It's time to put down the phones and schedule time to TALK to one another. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why texting is not a good idea when you need to discuss big or important issues with your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! Rescue My Marriage Today Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids are amazing from those cute little baby faces to the amazing young adults they become. However, when the kids become more important than your marriage that’s when problems arise. Some of these may be: The kids are still sleeping with you. Everything revolves around the kids activities (to the point that the two of you can’t remember the last time you went out and it was just the two of you). You find yourself drifting apart and using the kids as your buffer zone, your distraction, and your focus. All of those things that really should be on your spouse. Your children need to know that your marriage is strong. They need to see the example of mom and dad valuing each other and making each other a priority. Unfortunately... When your marriage becomes all about the kids, no matter what age they are, an unfair burden is placed upon them. One that they were never designed to have to bear. Kids are not a replacement for your marriage relationship. They are not to be your best friend, during the child rearing years. Your child is not to take on the responsibility of meeting your adult emotional needs or attention. It’s time to look at the relationship you both have with your kids, make changes that benefit your marriage and then put the energy back into your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s important to set up guardrails and have no kids allowed areas in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! Rescue My Marriage Today Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have ever noticed that in movies you never see couples cleaning up after sex? Usually this romantic moment has no clean up afterwards. The couple cuddles together as they basks in the afterglow of an amazing sexual moment together. Seems odd... As long as we have been making love, cleaning up after sex has always been a part of the our sexual intimacy. Throughout your marriage cleaning up after sex can be impacted by your current form of birth control, are you trying to conceive a child, or even where you are making love.  Some factors may be: Are you using condoms? Are you trying to make a baby or not trying to make a baby? Are you in a hotel? One with two beds so that one is for sex and one for sleeping? Are your sheets clean? After you finish making love you want to cuddle and yet, in the back of your mind you're thinking about fluids going all over the place. The romance and intensity of what you have just experienced can be diminished by the time you finish cleaning up after sex. This can change what was such a powerful moment. We've been there ourselves many of times and have a few ways that you can get the most out of your time together after cleaning up. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about maintaining the delicate balance between romance and cleaning up after sex. EPISODE SPONSOR | Rescue My Marriage Today Waitlist You want change in your marriage because everything you have tried hasn’t worked to this point. You listen to the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show and think, I want what they and so many other couples have. Resuce My Marriage Today will turn your marriage around and get you back to feeling wanted, connected and intimate. Sign up for the waitlist now. 313 - Pack The Boxes, It’s Time to Move On 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP 6 Benefits of Cuddling With Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lack of action, apathy, laziness are marriage killers.  In this life you have two options, you are either growing or you’re not. When you wish or hope for change without doing what you need to be doing that’s not growth. That’s being outwardly focused. That’s expecting others to do the changing why you sit back and wait. We've both done this in our marriage over the years. At some point in time you've been frustrated with your marriage. Be it emotionally, financially, sexually, and/or spiritually.  When all you do is hope that the situation will change you put all of the responsibility on your spouse.  Marriage is a 100% / 100% commitment. That's 100% effort from each of you. It’s time for you to take your hope, for you to take your wishful thinking and give it some power. Give it some action as you start doing something to create growth and change. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the power of hope when it’s combined with action as you start doing something different in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Rescue My Marriage Today Waitlist You want change in your marriage because everything you have tried hasn’t worked to this point. You listen to the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show and think, I want what they and so many other couples have. Resuce My Marriage Today will turn your marriage around and get you back to feeling wanted, connected and intimate. Sign up for the waitlist now. 140 - Scheduling Sex QBQ! The Question Behind the Question Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Moving is truly one of those events that literally turns everything upside down. You go from being settled and knowing all of your routines to have everything boxed up (both before and after the move) and everything is different. This includes how the two of you act with one another as you prep, box your things, move in day, and afterwards. When it's time to move on for us we sort our things into 3 piles. Donate Get Rid Of (Trash) Take With You Let's look at your marriage from the perspective of moving. What do you need to donate to your spouse? What do you need to get rid of in terms of your behavior/resentments/conflict? What do you need to take with you, continue doing? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what lessons you can learn about your marriage when it's time to move on to another home. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! Check out the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Signature Ring Set Sign up for a strategic coaching consultation 046 - Are You Keeping Score? 166 - Holey Underwear Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever wondered what your husband is thinking before and during sex? It may have crossed your mind from time to time or it's something you haven't even considered. Here's the thing though... Just like you and all you have going on he has thoughts that can hinder him from being fully present with you. We learned this first had as we were in the middle of completing our 8th 7 Days of Sex Challenge. By far one of the toughest we have done. One of the nights we began a conversation have sex that we have never had before. What do men think about before and during sex? Now, you would have thought that this would have come up in conversation before and yet it hasn't.  In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what your husband is thinking about before and during sex. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jealousy is destructive to both the one who is being jealous and the one who is receiving it. After 19 years of marriage we've experienced jealousy at different times and over different things. Jealousy  can take the form of: interrogations about where someone has been, what they have been doing or who they were with searching through your spouse's phone or through a computer questioning any time that your spouse happens to look at a member of the opposite sex rifling through their bags/suitcases/briefcases for “evidence” increasing anxiety over what your spouse does when you are not around them Where does jealousy come from? There is no easy answer but there are a number of ways that it can begin in one’s life. These include: Low Self Esteem - being told that you are not good enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough Feelings of insecurity or fear of abandonment - being hurt in the past can set you up to try and protect yourself in the future Fear of vulnerability or fear of rejection - the fear that if you reveal your true self you will be loved less, that by sharing who you truly are your spouse will not love you Jealousy is destructive in marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact jealousy has on your marriage and what you can do about it. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples 4 Simple Tools to Improve Communication with Your Spouse via Wellness Mom Life Connecting Like We Did When We First Met via A Prioritized Marriage Communication in Our Marriage via Country Living and Penny Pinching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you remember your first Valentine’s Day together? I do, I was living in the Delta Gamma house at DePauw University and Tony was at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I had sent him a poem I had written and waited all day for my “Valentine”. I couldn’t wait to see what would come. Would Tony surprise me by showing up? Would he come with a ring and a proposal (I can’t even believe I thought that after only 6 months of dating he would, but hey I was dreaming.) Would he even remember? He did... The thing is that it has been the love shown not on just one day, but day after day. It has been in the little things and big things over the years that has made a difference. This has been the glue that has kept us together through the good times and during the tough ones. What has changed our marriage and can change you is the decision to love on each other by demonstrating that love not on just one day each year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about showing your love throughout the year, not just one day each year, Valentine’s Day. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Life is stressful, but when you are too busy (or tired) to find some time for sexual intimacy, it can really seem unbearable. The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. Grab your copy of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge today! Catch Us Live on Valentine’s Day at 5 PM PST, via C3 Livestream 14 Fun Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Married Couples 218 - Not All Good or All Bad Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sex is one of the biggest perks of being married and yet so often, relegated to an obligation instead of being the gift it truly should be. Have you ever said (or at least thought) any of the following in regard to sex in your marriage. It’s one more thing I have to do I’m so tired Don’t you ever get enough What about MY needs I could take it or leave it How does sex with your spouse get to this point? There is an anticipation to be sexually intimate at times, but more often than not it's not even on the radar for you or your spouse. This could be due to... Childhood messages about what sex should or shouldn’t be Busyness Lack of romance Lack of communication Sex is used as a weapon, treat me well and I’ll have sex with you, otherwise, no go Stopped learning or caring what works for the other Routine (same positions/same time) When sex has become a duty or an obligation, your marriage suffers. Sex is truly one the most intimate times with another person and not being fully involved in the process is placing a wedge between you and your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about changing your mindset so that sex is not a duty in your marriage but a gift that you give to one another. EPISODE SPONSOR | 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Talking about sex with your spouse is something you should do during different seasons of life. When you do you'll create a shift in your marriage around this sometimes “tricky” subject. Make sure to pick up this FREE resource that is going to give you 19 questions to change your sex life. Grab 19 Quick Questions now and don't miss an opportunity to learn about your sexual intimacy. 3 Ways to Overcome Your Fear 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions For Couples 140 - Scheduling Sex Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two become one. You may have heard this when you stood before your pastor as you were about to say "I Do". Since you got married though you feel that the two of you are not united in your marriage. This is showing up in areas ranging from: handling finances dealing with family what’s going on with the kids your sex life having a conversation creating a safe environment, free of judgment or harsh words spending time together and the list goes on You did not get married to do marriage by yourself. That’s a complete contradiction. Let’s be clear, we are not saying that you have to do everything together and spend all day, every day together. However, when there is no unity in your marriage it takes a heavy toll on you and your spouse. When there isn't unity in your marriage you feel: distant disconnected frustrated worthless invisible lonely angry This causes the distance between the two of you to grow. The silences get longer. The time spent away from one another grows. It’s time to go back to basics. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what it truly means when two become one and when you come together to be unified in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 6 INCREDIBLE Questions To Instantly Break The Silence With Your Partner When you use these six questions they will help you connect at a deeper level, start the conversation when it feels like there is nothing to talk about, provide an opportunity to connect and bring the two of you closer and may bring a smile to you and your partners face upon sharing. Grab Our Six Questions now and don't miss an opportunity to connect with your spouse. 128 - Playing On The Same TEAM Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey Total Transformation One-on-One Coaching  Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices