ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

Have you ever wondered what your husband is thinking before and during sex? It may have crossed your mind from time to time or it's something you haven't even considered. Here's the thing though... Just like you and all you have going on he has thoughts that can hinder him from being fully present with you. We learned this first had as we were in the middle of completing our 8th 7 Days of Sex Challenge. By far one of the toughest we have done. One of the nights we began a conversation have sex that we have never had before. What do men think about before and during sex? Now, you would have thought that this would have come up in conversation before and yet it hasn't.  In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what your husband is thinking about before and during sex. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jealousy is destructive to both the one who is being jealous and the one who is receiving it. After 19 years of marriage we've experienced jealousy at different times and over different things. Jealousy  can take the form of: interrogations about where someone has been, what they have been doing or who they were with searching through your spouse's phone or through a computer questioning any time that your spouse happens to look at a member of the opposite sex rifling through their bags/suitcases/briefcases for “evidence” increasing anxiety over what your spouse does when you are not around them Where does jealousy come from? There is no easy answer but there are a number of ways that it can begin in one’s life. These include: Low Self Esteem - being told that you are not good enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough Feelings of insecurity or fear of abandonment - being hurt in the past can set you up to try and protect yourself in the future Fear of vulnerability or fear of rejection - the fear that if you reveal your true self you will be loved less, that by sharing who you truly are your spouse will not love you Jealousy is destructive in marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact jealousy has on your marriage and what you can do about it. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples 4 Simple Tools to Improve Communication with Your Spouse via Wellness Mom Life Connecting Like We Did When We First Met via A Prioritized Marriage Communication in Our Marriage via Country Living and Penny Pinching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you remember your first Valentine’s Day together? I do, I was living in the Delta Gamma house at DePauw University and Tony was at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I had sent him a poem I had written and waited all day for my “Valentine”. I couldn’t wait to see what would come. Would Tony surprise me by showing up? Would he come with a ring and a proposal (I can’t even believe I thought that after only 6 months of dating he would, but hey I was dreaming.) Would he even remember? He did... The thing is that it has been the love shown not on just one day, but day after day. It has been in the little things and big things over the years that has made a difference. This has been the glue that has kept us together through the good times and during the tough ones. What has changed our marriage and can change you is the decision to love on each other by demonstrating that love not on just one day each year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about showing your love throughout the year, not just one day each year, Valentine’s Day. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Life is stressful, but when you are too busy (or tired) to find some time for sexual intimacy, it can really seem unbearable. The 7 Days of Sex Challenge makes it easy for busy couples like you to find some fun time together because it ELIMINATES the stress of figuring out what you need to do for 7 days that will be new and creative to try. Grab your copy of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge today! Catch Us Live on Valentine’s Day at 5 PM PST, via C3 Livestream 14 Fun Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas for Married Couples 218 - Not All Good or All Bad Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sex is one of the biggest perks of being married and yet so often, relegated to an obligation instead of being the gift it truly should be. Have you ever said (or at least thought) any of the following in regard to sex in your marriage. It’s one more thing I have to do I’m so tired Don’t you ever get enough What about MY needs I could take it or leave it How does sex with your spouse get to this point? There is an anticipation to be sexually intimate at times, but more often than not it's not even on the radar for you or your spouse. This could be due to... Childhood messages about what sex should or shouldn’t be Busyness Lack of romance Lack of communication Sex is used as a weapon, treat me well and I’ll have sex with you, otherwise, no go Stopped learning or caring what works for the other Routine (same positions/same time) When sex has become a duty or an obligation, your marriage suffers. Sex is truly one the most intimate times with another person and not being fully involved in the process is placing a wedge between you and your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about changing your mindset so that sex is not a duty in your marriage but a gift that you give to one another. EPISODE SPONSOR | 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Talking about sex with your spouse is something you should do during different seasons of life. When you do you'll create a shift in your marriage around this sometimes “tricky” subject. Make sure to pick up this FREE resource that is going to give you 19 questions to change your sex life. Grab 19 Quick Questions now and don't miss an opportunity to learn about your sexual intimacy. 3 Ways to Overcome Your Fear 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions For Couples 140 - Scheduling Sex Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two become one. You may have heard this when you stood before your pastor as you were about to say "I Do". Since you got married though you feel that the two of you are not united in your marriage. This is showing up in areas ranging from: handling finances dealing with family what’s going on with the kids your sex life having a conversation creating a safe environment, free of judgment or harsh words spending time together and the list goes on You did not get married to do marriage by yourself. That’s a complete contradiction. Let’s be clear, we are not saying that you have to do everything together and spend all day, every day together. However, when there is no unity in your marriage it takes a heavy toll on you and your spouse. When there isn't unity in your marriage you feel: distant disconnected frustrated worthless invisible lonely angry This causes the distance between the two of you to grow. The silences get longer. The time spent away from one another grows. It’s time to go back to basics. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what it truly means when two become one and when you come together to be unified in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 6 INCREDIBLE Questions To Instantly Break The Silence With Your Partner When you use these six questions they will help you connect at a deeper level, start the conversation when it feels like there is nothing to talk about, provide an opportunity to connect and bring the two of you closer and may bring a smile to you and your partners face upon sharing. Grab Our Six Questions now and don't miss an opportunity to connect with your spouse. 128 - Playing On The Same TEAM Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey Total Transformation One-on-One Coaching  Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Strength training your marriage isn't just about you as an individual. It's about strength training your marriage so that you and your spouse create a healthy, vibrant and growing marriage. The first 11 years of our marriage. we didn’t do much strength training in our marriage. We read a few devotionals, we had done a few small groups at church for married couples, occasionally we went out on date night or got a weekend by ourselves but that was about it. The foundation of our marriage was awful: distance, disconnected, and loneliness. When we decided to start strength training our marriage muscles a shift occurred. A shift that let’s us look at each day with excitement, with expectation that the best is yet to come. The same thing can happen in your marriage. Find your personal marriage trainer (hopefully us), so you can live your marriage with a plan, a purpose and excitement for what's to come. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why strength training isn’t just something for the gym but rather something that your marriage needs as well. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couples Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey One-on-One Coaching  Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Husbands get a bum rap in media, books, movies, tv--out of touch, unfeeling, sexed up, jerks. And yet your husband your husband is a good husband. You may look at yourself and even say that you are a good husband and one that doesn't even compare to how the media portrays you. Your're a husband who does dishes, change diapers, makes dinner and much more. A Husband who rubs your wife's feet, starts a bath plus you join in and sends love letters to your wife throughout the year. Is every husband like this? No. But every husband has the potential. It’s a matter of unlocking this in your marriage and both a husband and a wife can do this. When this happens a husband understands his role as the rock for his wife, children and for those around. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of acknowledging and giving praise to your husband because a good husband isn’t so hard to find. EPISODE SPONSOR | I Love You But I Don't Trust You Webinar Join us for the “I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: 4 Simple Strategies To Build, Maintain, and Regain Trust In Your Relationship” webinar on Wednesday December 2nd. During this free webinar you will learn: A practical step-by-step process for rebuilding trust after porn, infidelity, suspicion and harmful mistakes (even if your partner is not on board). Register today for our I Love You But I Don’t Trust You Webinar. Taking Charge of Your Fertility 56 Simple (But Super Effective) Compliments To Encourage Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Making love to your spouse is one of the most intimate times you two have together. It's a time when everything else falls away while you bask in each others arms. Now when you make love twice in one day that double the pleasure... Well is it? It sure is because it changes things up in your marriage and your sexual intimacy. This brings on a new and fresh perspective that you may have not seen. When you are making love multiple times in a day sexual intimacy becomes a priority as it puts the focus back on the two of you. You learn that sex can be quick and playful or lingering and romantic, there’s place for both in your marriage (you get to decide which one you want to do). Variety is good for both of you which can be a plus for new adventures down the road. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of stepping outside your sexual comfort zone as we share about making love twice in one day. EPISODE SPONSOR | Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex In this free resource learn the proven ways you can initiate that have worked for thousands of couples around the world. Even if you're not the one who usually initiates you can learn how to break the sexual tension and have your spouse responding in no time, have fun in the situation while LOVING and respecting each other, set yourself up for success in just 5 minutes or less and much more. Grab the Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex today! 7 Days of Sex Challenge: Rock Your Sex Life and Your Marriage Episode 140 - Scheduling Sex Romance Your Spouse With These Sexy Text Messages Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s that time of year when you are thinking about the New Year and what's ahead for your marriage. You've thought about what happened over this past year and what you want this next year to look like. During this time you may be taking a serious look at your marriage and how you can strengthen each of the six intimacies. Your are counting down to the New Year and wondering how you can make it your best year ever. Starting this year or a new season of your life without a plan means that you are going to be at the mercy and whim of the world around you. When you are reactive you leave many aspects of your marriage floating around to "just happen". You couldn’t do your job if you didn’t have any idea of what was expected of you, why should our marriages be any less. In our marriage we are fortunate to be surrounded by couples who have been proactive about what's ahead for their marriage. What separates them and their marriage is that they are being intentional. Here’s a little secret... You can too. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do right now so that you can create the best year ever in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 15 Everyday Libido Boosting Habits Need to boost your libido? Simply use one of the 15 easy everyday habits we’ve put together for you… and never worry about a fizzling sex drive again! Get the #1 Tip we share with thousands of listeners on how to relax before sex, get this wrong and no tip we give can help! Plus, we share how to “schedule sex” so you can take the guess work out of when you’re going to “get some!” (this alone has hundreds of marriages saved marriages!) Sign up now for your FREE 15 Everyday Libido Boosting Habits Our Six Questions (Free Resource) He Zigs She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path  Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation  Core Values Workshop  One-on-One Coaching Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The presents are wrapped and under the tree, the stockings are hung, the cookies are baked and you’re exhausted. As a couple you find yourselves rushing through life, rushing through your marriage and missing out on being present with your spouse. Here's the thing... There will always be stuff to do in every season of your marriage. There will always be distractions in your life. In our 19 years of marriage we can attest to this. What sets your marriage apart is how you make each other a priority. This is so important! The two of you really need time together, just the two of you, and no one else. This means dates without the kids or a group of adults. Time alone walking, driving, playing a fun board game or cuddling on the couch listening to your favorite music. The two of you are so busy doing for others (your kids, your boss, your friends) that you need to make sure you are being present for one another. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about being present with your spouse during each season of life. EPISODE SPONSOR | Audible 30-Day Free Trial Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage we already know that you like to listen to great content through your phone or your computer. We also know that you like to have your content available everywhere you go. With audible you can Choose from over 180,000 titles. One that we will be talking about on the show is David Finch’s The Journal of Best Practices. Get this or any other title with your Audible 30-day FREE trial. Four Fun Moments You Can Share With Your Spouse [VIDEO] Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices