ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo
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May 3, 2016 • 31min

322: IT’S TIME TO INITIATE

Knowing how to initiate sex in your marriage can be a very real challenge. You're not sure what to do or when you do if your spouse even realizes that you're initiating. On the other side of this is a frustrated who doesn't understand why you can’t or decide not to initiate. For them it’s similar to living in a constant state of rejection. Think about it. If you rarely initiate then it is always up to your spouse to make a move. If you're not interested, too tired, not in the mood, then they get shot down. They express desire to you and yet there is no similar expression of desire in return. NEW FLASH... This is NOT something that only happens to men or only women. Both men and women struggle when it comes to know how to initiate sex. When only one of you is initiating or when neither of you is initiating sex it’s time to take a look at what is going on between the two of you. If you can’t initiate it’s often because you don’t know how or what you have tried in the past hasn’t worked so you don’t know what to do. Maybe you got the message growing up that “good girls don’t do that” or “you shouldn’t be so bold”. Maybe you were told that you should always be pursued. Maybe you’re afraid that you are going to hear no or some other excuse for why you spouse doesn’t want to be with you. Maybe you just don’t know what to do. OR Maybe your spouse doesn’t know when you are initiating... Check out our Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex With Your Spouse TONIGHT to get some ideas on how you can begin to initiate. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why now is the time for you to share with your spouse on how you initiate in and outside the bedroom. EPISODE SPONSOR | FreshBooks FreshBooks is a super simple invoicing solution that lets you create and send professional looking invoices in seconds. It also makes managing your expenses, staying on top of who owes you what, and tracking your time the easiest part of your day. Try FreshBooks FREE for 30 days on us. Get your free trial today. Discover the Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex With Your Spouse TONIGHT Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 26, 2016 • 32min

321: RENEWING YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE

To get married you had to have a marriage licence. Here's the thing though... This is the only license that you are never required to renew. You are not required to go to class, spend time and money, or become more informed to grow. On the other hand you have to renew your driver’s license, retake the written test and sometimes take the driving test. There are many professions that require continuing education: the legal field, auto technicians, financial services, the medical field, educators, engineering and others. For many couples having their marriage license and saying "I Do" on their wedding day is it. You've arrived and your marriage is going to be great. Unfortunately, you haven’t arrived. We know from our own experiences as well as the many couples we've coached over the pat 6+ years. There is always room to grow in your marriage. There is always a way to improve your communication, your sexual intimacy, quality time spent together, your finances, and other areas of your marriage. When you stop growing in your marriage, when you stop learning your spouse, you open the door for disconnect. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s important to renew your marriage license even though you’re not required to do so. EPISODE SPONSOR | Connect Like You Did When You First Met It’s time to learn about your spouse all over again. No matter if you have been married a year or 30 years Connect Like You Did When You First Met will improve your communication. Inside Connect Like You Did When You First Met there are over 101 Questions covering areas of finances, sex, kids, dreams and more. Grab your copy today! The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph. D. The Seven Laws of Love by Dave Willis Bo's Cafe by John Lynch Maximized Manhood by Edwin Louis Cole Intimacy Ignited by Dillow & Pintus Prayer That Brings Revival by David Yonggi Cho One Bed One Bank Account by Derek & Carrie Olsen He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path Trust Me! Restore, Renew and Rebuild Your Foundation Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 19, 2016 • 31min

320: CHANGE OF SCENERY

When you move into a new house there are... New bedrooms, living areas, bathrooms and other place to explore to enjoy sex. And yet, you may find yourself night after night in the same spot. Your bedroom! What do you do as doing the same thing over and over again, in the exact same way is become to routine. And... Routines leads to boredom and boredom leads to disconnect. When anticipation and excitement stops being a part of your marriage in any area the drift starts to happen. This doesn’t mean that you have to have fireworks every time you have sex. What it does mean is that you have within your control to create an atmosphere of anticipation. One of the key ways to do this is through a change of scenery. There is no rule that says that married couples can only have sex in the bedroom in the dark, at night. You have been blessed with a home with many rooms. :) When the anticipation builds, excitement builds and the ordinary becomes extraordinary. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of changing it up and having a change of scenery for your sexual intimacy. EPISODE SPONSOR | 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom Discover a hit-list of all the top items we’ve discovered in the last 19 years of marriage to ignite intimacy, connection and comfort in the most important room of all -- the bedroom! From fun toys, to those fabulous little items that set the mood, this is a list that you are going to want to have. Grab your MUST HAVE Items today! Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking the Intimacy in Your Marriage | Take 20% OFF at checkout with coupon code: podcast Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proved Questions for Couples Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 12, 2016 • 31min

319: ESP (EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION)

Having ESP (extrasensory perception) is something that many couples wish they had. The thing is that you don't and neither does your spouse. At times you may ask yourself... Why doesn’t he/she know that? How many times should I have to tell him/her? He/she should know that by know. The truth is that your spouse doesn't have ESP and cannot read your mind. And yet you have been asking yourself, "What’s wrong with expecting my spouse to know what I want? What I need?" The issue is that when you expect your spouse to have ESP or read your mind you are expecting another human to be able to process the circumstances that YOU are in. You're expecting them to know your mood, your physical condition and then come up with the exact same conclusion that you would do. The kicker is that this person is NOT you. Stop frustrating the two of you by Expecting Someone else to Perceive the world as you would. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens when you expect your spouse to have ESP also known as extrasensory perception. EPISODE SPONSOR | Discover the Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex Would you love to know exactly when or how your spouse is initiating instead of trying to guess “Is he or she making a move?” Or “Does that touch or look mean we are having sex tonight? Take the guesswork out of wondering... grab The Top 10 Ways to Initiate Sex and have a clear understanding of what it really looks like when your spouse is making a move. Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proved Questions for Couples Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Apr 5, 2016 • 32min

318: YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDS YOU TO GROW UP

Unless you are a teenager it’s time to grow up in your marriage. When you partake in behaviors that are typical of a teenager you are chipping away at the foundation of your marriage. A marriage that does not have transparency in all areas is a marriage with secrets. Those secrets will destroy the best of marriages. Not allowing YOUR spouse to see the real you can allow for questioning the true nature of your relationship. You may ask... "Does my spouse love me or do they just love the me I pretend to be?" Risky behaviors, will catch up with you. Nothing that you do exists in a vacuum. You will get caught, discovered or found out. If you want a different marriage then your marriage needs you to stop engaging in risky behavior that sabotage it. ME is not WE. When the two of you became one, part of that agreement was the declaration of putting your own selfish desires behind the desires of your spouse. When the focus is on what you want and your own needs being satisfied, your marriage will wither and die because of the lack of attention to your spouse. Are you ready to grow up so your marriage can experience all that you and your spouse desire? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why your marriage needs you to grow up and stop acting like a teenager so that you don't miss out on all that your marriage can be. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! LIVE TRAINING - More Love, Less Conflict: How To Use Open and Honest Communication For A Stronger Marriage Rescue My Marriage Today Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 29, 2016 • 32min

317: TEXTING IS NOT TALKING

When a “big” or  “important” conversation is being dealt with via texting it is causing more heartache and less connection for married couples around the world. Avoiding the face to face conversation may seem easier and yet, the end result is that more often then not you are more disconnected. You're questioning your spouse more. You're more frustrated. You're not able to get the context or nuance of what is being said. Time Magazine reported in October 2013  a study in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy that... Men who texted more often in general reported lower relationship quality than those who didn’t ping their significant others as frequently. The researchers can only speculate about why, but suspect that as men disconnect from a relationship, or consider a break-up, they replace face-to-face interactions with less intimate communication in the form of increased texting. Women tended to take to their smartphone keyboards to apologize, work out their differences and make decisions — in other words, when their relationship was in trouble. As their connection with their loved one deteriorated, women attempted to make up or resolve their differences via text, which the scientists believe is the online version of the need to “talk things out.” It's time to put down the phones and schedule time to TALK to one another. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why texting is not a good idea when you need to discuss big or important issues with your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! Rescue My Marriage Today Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 22, 2016 • 32min

316: NO KIDS ALLOWED

Kids are amazing from those cute little baby faces to the amazing young adults they become. However, when the kids become more important than your marriage that’s when problems arise. Some of these may be: The kids are still sleeping with you. Everything revolves around the kids activities (to the point that the two of you can’t remember the last time you went out and it was just the two of you). You find yourself drifting apart and using the kids as your buffer zone, your distraction, and your focus. All of those things that really should be on your spouse. Your children need to know that your marriage is strong. They need to see the example of mom and dad valuing each other and making each other a priority. Unfortunately... When your marriage becomes all about the kids, no matter what age they are, an unfair burden is placed upon them. One that they were never designed to have to bear. Kids are not a replacement for your marriage relationship. They are not to be your best friend, during the child rearing years. Your child is not to take on the responsibility of meeting your adult emotional needs or attention. It’s time to look at the relationship you both have with your kids, make changes that benefit your marriage and then put the energy back into your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about why it’s important to set up guardrails and have no kids allowed areas in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! Rescue My Marriage Today Ecotones Sound + Sleep Machine Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 15, 2016 • 31min

315: CLEANING UP AFTER SEX

Have ever noticed that in movies you never see couples cleaning up after sex? Usually this romantic moment has no clean up afterwards. The couple cuddles together as they basks in the afterglow of an amazing sexual moment together. Seems odd... As long as we have been making love, cleaning up after sex has always been a part of the our sexual intimacy. Throughout your marriage cleaning up after sex can be impacted by your current form of birth control, are you trying to conceive a child, or even where you are making love.  Some factors may be: Are you using condoms? Are you trying to make a baby or not trying to make a baby? Are you in a hotel? One with two beds so that one is for sex and one for sleeping? Are your sheets clean? After you finish making love you want to cuddle and yet, in the back of your mind you're thinking about fluids going all over the place. The romance and intensity of what you have just experienced can be diminished by the time you finish cleaning up after sex. This can change what was such a powerful moment. We've been there ourselves many of times and have a few ways that you can get the most out of your time together after cleaning up. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about maintaining the delicate balance between romance and cleaning up after sex. EPISODE SPONSOR | Rescue My Marriage Today Waitlist You want change in your marriage because everything you have tried hasn’t worked to this point. You listen to the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show and think, I want what they and so many other couples have. Resuce My Marriage Today will turn your marriage around and get you back to feeling wanted, connected and intimate. Sign up for the waitlist now. 313 - Pack The Boxes, It’s Time to Move On 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP 6 Benefits of Cuddling With Your Spouse Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 8, 2016 • 31min

314: STOP HOPING, START DOING

Lack of action, apathy, laziness are marriage killers.  In this life you have two options, you are either growing or you’re not. When you wish or hope for change without doing what you need to be doing that’s not growth. That’s being outwardly focused. That’s expecting others to do the changing why you sit back and wait. We've both done this in our marriage over the years. At some point in time you've been frustrated with your marriage. Be it emotionally, financially, sexually, and/or spiritually.  When all you do is hope that the situation will change you put all of the responsibility on your spouse.  Marriage is a 100% / 100% commitment. That's 100% effort from each of you. It’s time for you to take your hope, for you to take your wishful thinking and give it some power. Give it some action as you start doing something to create growth and change. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the power of hope when it’s combined with action as you start doing something different in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Rescue My Marriage Today Waitlist You want change in your marriage because everything you have tried hasn’t worked to this point. You listen to the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show and think, I want what they and so many other couples have. Resuce My Marriage Today will turn your marriage around and get you back to feeling wanted, connected and intimate. Sign up for the waitlist now. 140 - Scheduling Sex QBQ! The Question Behind the Question Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mar 1, 2016 • 31min

313: PACK THE BOXES, IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON

Moving is truly one of those events that literally turns everything upside down. You go from being settled and knowing all of your routines to have everything boxed up (both before and after the move) and everything is different. This includes how the two of you act with one another as you prep, box your things, move in day, and afterwards. When it's time to move on for us we sort our things into 3 piles. Donate Get Rid Of (Trash) Take With You Let's look at your marriage from the perspective of moving. What do you need to donate to your spouse? What do you need to get rid of in terms of your behavior/resentments/conflict? What do you need to take with you, continue doing? In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what lessons you can learn about your marriage when it's time to move on to another home. EPISODE SPONSOR | Minter & Richter Titanium Rings Minter & Richter work from their studio housed in Boston’s Historic Rum Distillery, Scott, Owner, Ring Maker & Metalsmith Extraordinaire, meticulously crafts each ring custom to order. Combining titanium with everything from the exotic – water buffalo horn, to the everyday – concrete, and special found objects that customers send, Scott is continually reinventing the idea of what a ring should be. Get your customer ring today! Check out the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Signature Ring Set Sign up for a strategic coaching consultation 046 - Are You Keeping Score? 166 - Holey Underwear Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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